Tony rested his head on Gibbs's lap. He had Sadie curled up in his arms. Moments like this he felt like he was a little kid again. Back when his mom was still alive, when she was sober and not in too much pain. She would hold him the way Gibbs was holding him right now and when he was really little she would hold him how he was holding Sadie. Without realizing it he must have started to cry. Remembering his childhood before his mother died always got to him.
"Tony?" Gibbs whispered.
"What is it?" Tony asked.
"You're crying are you OK?" Gibbs asked in a whisper.
"I'm fine it's just when I was little my mom would hold me like this and when I was really little she would hold me like I am holding Sadie." Tony explained.
"I used to hold Kelly the same way." Gibbs replied.
"Would they have liked me?" Tony asked.
"Who?" Gibbs questioned.
"Shannon and Kelly" Tony answered.
"Are you kidding? They would have adored you. Kelly always wanted an older brother and Shannon would have thought you were the sweetest thing. My mom would have loved you too." Gibbs replied.
"What was your mom like?" Tony asked.
"She was an amazing cook and the most loving person you would ever meet. She would swear that you were too thin and make you all kinds of treats. Shannon would too that's probably why I married her now so sure about the other three." Gibbs explained.
"We all make mistakes just be glad you were the only one hurt by yours." Tony replied looking down at Sadie who was asleep in his arms.
"Sadie's safe with you." Gibbs assured.
"I hope so." Tony replied.
"I told you about my mom now you need to tell me about yours." Gibbs replied changing the subject. He knew that if he let Tony beat himself up about Sadie he would spiral quickly.
"She could be like yours but most of the time she was drunk and when she wasn't she was in too much pain to do anything except just lie in a dark room." Tony explained.
"Without the drinking that's how my mom was the last few months she had ovarian cancer real bad. We thought she was pregnant but the doctor found abnormal cells. It all happened in about four or five months. The doctors gave her about a year but she couldn't take it anymore. She took her own life. I never told anyone this but I saw her body in the morgue. Stillwater was even tinier then and everybody in town took lunch at the same time. The day it happened I told my dad I was going for a bike ride to clear my head. I just followed somebody inside coming back from lunch. Nobody even noticed me and if they did they thought I was supposed to be there. She was just lying there." Gibbs explained.
"Oh Boss I am so sorry." Tony apologized.
"Rule six Tony." Gibbs hissed.
"Right" Tony replied.
"What about your mom? Are you comfortable talking about it?" Gibbs asked.
"She had really bad depression my dad says it was from me but post postpartum wouldn't last eight years and when I talked to her grandpa he said it had been her whole life." Tony explained.
"God DiNozzo did she kill herself?" Gibbs asked.
"Kind of it was liver cirrhosis. She was diagnosed on my seventh birthday she died almost exactly a year later. About a month after my eighth. She was doing really well and I let my eight year old brain convince me that I was getting better. Then she just collapsed. My dad was gone God knows where and my mom had given the help the night off. I called 911 and had to ride in the ambulance with her. I have never been more afraid in my life. She had the nurse put on The Movie Channel and "Angels With Dirty Faces" was on. She died right there. When she flat-lined I ran." Tony explained.
"When was the next time you saw Senior?" Gibbs asked.
"Four days later at the funeral. He knocked me down the front steps of the church and told me that this was my fault." Tony explained.
"If Shannon had gotten sick. I would have never have left Kelly like that and I certainly never would have blamed her for Shannon dying." Gibbs replied trying to hide his anger.
"Why couldn't you have been my daddy? I would have loved to have the childhood that you gave Kelly I would have died at eight to have that life." Tony questioned.
"You are my son I am sorry I couldn't give you Kelly's childhood but the world needs you. Losing you at eight would have been the same cruelness as losing Kelly that early." Gibbs explained.
"I guess I am being a baby. I need to get over my bad childhood. I am just glad I have you to help me give Sadie a good one." Tony explained.
"No Tony it is hard to move on from what happened to you but as long as we are out of the office. I will give you a good late childhood." Gibbs explained.
"Thanks dad that is an honor." Tony replied.
"Anything for my son and granddaughter." Gibbs replied.
"You sure you are cool with me dating Ziva?" Tony asked.
"Like I said as long as you are good to her and keep it strictly professional when you are at the office. I am just fine." Gibbs assured.
"I will Boss I will be good to her and I will keep it professional." Tony assured.
"I know you will and don't forget about Sadie." Gibbs added.
"I will never forget Sadie." Tony assured.
Jimmy stood in the hallway outside his wife's room. Ed was in there saying goodbye to his daughter. He was the last one besides Jimmy who needed to say goodbye. She had developed pneumonia in both lungs and the odds of her being able to fight it and the infection were next to nothing. Part of Jimmy wished that Ed would stay a long time and he would be the one with Breena when she died. Jimmy didn't think he could handle being there when everything stopped. Much to his chagrin Ed exited the room a few moments later. He just brushed past Jimmy his eyes were red and puffy but Breena was still holding on. Jimmy slowly stepped into Breena's room and picked up her hand. He looked down into her eyes. She was so pale but her skin was also this greyish blue color. Even her hair had lost its shininess and silkiness. She had a ventilator shoved down her throat and her body was covered by a mass of tubes and wires.
"I love you Breena. I love you so much." Jimmy sobbed.
Ziva could not believe what she had just heard. What could possibly be wrong with her? What if it was serious what if she was dying? Gibbs had just finally given her permission to date Tony. The thing she had prayed to every God she knew of that she would be allowed. For eight long years she had wanted him but it never panned out. At first Tony had kind of hated her, then he had been with Jeanne and then she was with Ray. They had finally almost gotten it right after Dearing then her dad died and she slept with Adam. How could she have been so stupid? Gibbs' rules didn't help things at all. When she had left she was sure it would never happen. She had dated Adam for a couple of months. Until she got him cheating on her with some twenty year old Mossad Probie. In their bed. She had come home early tell him that she was carrying his child. She was around three weeks when she found out. She gave Adam the ultimatum the new girl or her and the baby. He chose to be able to sleep around. She left and took more hours at the market. Planning to raise the baby on her own. One day when she was around three months she doubled over in pain at work. Mona rushed her to the hospital. She started bleeding on the way there. Mona picked up the pace and the doctors did everything they could but by that night her baby was dead. Adam didn't care and Mona had no idea what to do she was young and innocent. She became depressed and lost. She was heading down a bad road. When he came to rescue a fellow agent whose cover was blown. The agent ended up getting killed right in front of him and he happened to come into the same bar she was at drowning her sorrows. They had been intimate but that was impossible. It was only two weeks after her miscarriage. As far as she knew you couldn't get pregnant until at least six weeks after a miscarriage. She had to be sick.
"Ziva are you alright dear?" Ducky asked.
"That depends why can't I be an agent anymore?" Ziva asked nervously.
"You can still be an agent just not for a few months." Ducky explained.
"Why not? What is wrong?" Ziva asked.
"Congratulations you are pregnant." Ducky replied.
"How far a long?" Ziva asked.
"I cannot give you an exact answer you will need an ultrasound to tell you that but based off the information you gave me I would say between three and six months." Ducky replied.
A/N: Still undecided about Breena's fate as well as the paternity of Ziva's baby but it is defiantly either Adam or Tony. She and Adam could have been expecting twins and she only lost one. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.