Liara

No drug could compare. No scathing high could stand against the euphoric onslaught that was simply…this. Being here, with her, our bodies radiating heat and magnetism. I pulled my lips from hers, my heart tripping at her slight sigh of disappointment. The glow of biotic energy from her restraints cast a cool light across her body, making the seeing eye expect her to be cold to the touch, but all I could feel were flames roaring beneath her skin.

"Serena," I whispered, wanting her to hear the name she gave so few, wanting it to belong to me, "why will you not open your eyes?"

She did not open her eyes as I thought she might. Instead, a half-smile quirked her lips and the line of stitches across her cheek pulled.

"So I can remain more in this moment." she answered. "And keep it sacred and safe, so that it will last forever."

Nothing lasts forever, the bitterness still lurking within me insisted. You proved that to me. Love is not forever, trust is not forever. Even civilizations that mark the galaxy cannot last forever. The Reapers taught and are continuing to teach us that such is the case.

"Says one of the most transient creatures in this galaxy." I mocked her, raking my fingernails down her side, leaving raised red lines across her skin, feeling her shudder beneath me.

"If I'm so transient, why are you holding me down?" Serena asked, her voice holding nothing but seriousness. "You don't keep a transient thing prisoner, for fear it will run away all together. So what's going through your mind?"

"It is not important." I attempted to brush her off, even though her inquiries needled me.

"If all you want to do is take me, Liara, that's fine. I just want to be with you. But you're hesitating. You're afraid to let me touch you. Why else am I wearing restraints?"

"I am not afraid." I insisted, but the defense seemed weak…and it sounded so very much like a lie, even to my ears.

"Then let me go." Serena entreated. "Let me go and don't be afraid anymore."

Reluctant, frightened, I lifted my hand, dissolving Shepard's biotic restraints with but a single thought. The tension in her body eased, but I felt my every muscle tighten as I waited, expecting her to move, to attempt to prove somehow that I did not need to be afraid. I waited in vain. She did not move; lay underneath me with a sense of ultimate contentment that I envied and did not understand.

"Now it is you who deliberates." I said, my tone far from kind. "Are you also afraid, Serena?"

I thought she might display bravado, reply with a surety that would endure no arguments, the arrogance that often defined humanity. I could not explain why I believed, against evidence, that she would act in any other way but that in which she had and still did. I continued to anticipate changes in her when none had manifested.

"I'm terrified, Liara." Serena confessed. "I can see you, so far away from me, even though we're touching, on a razor's edge. Anything I do might be the wrong damn thing. I've got…I've got everything to lose here."

"Then we are both afraid…though we have both already lost everything." I spoke the words, letting them linger in the air, attempting to comprehend them for their utterance left me shaken in my spirit and I did not know why.

"Yes." the silver in Serena's eyes caught fire. "That is the case...why the hell are we so damn scared? We've already lost."

I met her gaze and the overwhelming light glimmering in the depths of it threatened to blind me. I watched peace settle over her wounded visage, questioning that peace until I remembered what she believed of war. Of herself.

Serena believes that she has already lost every battle that she ever will. Now, she has realized that she might also let this be true of her love for me. She has lost me once and…and for her, it shall be the only loss she ever suffers. She believes, now, that, having lost me once, she never will again.

The beauty of that belief staggered me, but it did not give me strength. It did not allay my fears. I wanted it to. I wanted to believe that the miracle of science that allowed our paths to cross once more would make her death above Alchera the only death, the only heartbreak I would ever know.

But I do not know how to believe such things. I do not know how to remain strong. To not be afraid. To keep that fear from turning into anger and staining every moment of potential that I encounter.

I could feel tears burning in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I would not be weak, even if the mere concept of strength seemed eternally out of reach. However, I lay with Serena Shepard. The woman who had held my heart knew me better than I desired to admit…even now.

Saying nothing, Serena rose up and pulled me into her arms. I could hear the war-drum of her heartbeat. I could feel unspoken words filling her lungs. Her hands traced up and down my naked body, the skin against skin contact striking sparks. Her embrace felt perfect, the sort of perfection wherein everything is wrong…but wrong in the best of ways. Wrong in the perverse way that my soul took comfort in. The perversity of a human soldier daring to take an asari in their arms. Daring to try to love them.

Is this the arrogance in her that I have been seeking for? I wondered, but whatever answer existed ceased to matter.

It ceased to matter because her lips were speaking a new language, whispering against my skin, making my body feel in a way it had not since drug-induced paradise raged through my veins. Every kiss left a wound in me, a gaping expanse of sundered flesh. Other lovers had made these wounds and filled them with salt, dirt, and alcohol, a bitter reminder that they were nothing more than a transitory escape. Serena, however, did not let those wounds go un-mended.

She opened them with her lips and sealed them with her touch until the pleasure/pain/paradise caused me to shudder. Serena lay down, bearing me with her, our bodies alongside the other's. Her hand roved over the curve of my hip and I began shaking, trembling, feeling an earthquake in my soul and spirit. I accepted her kiss when she offered it and drew her body on top of mine, almost holding her at bay, still uncertain if I wished to shield myself from her…or if I wanted her to shield us from the world. Serena propped herself up, her eyes sparkling like the distant stars.

I opened my mouth to speak, but she silenced me with a kiss. Her lips parted, drawing me in, and her tongue darted against mine in a swift, seeking caress. I retaliated, capturing her bottom lip between my teeth, slowly ravaging the sensitive skin with tender bites. A low groan reverberated in Serena's chest and I felt smug satisfaction…a feeling quickly ruined by my sharp gasp at the feel of her fingers enclosing over my breast.

It is one thing to be touched, I thought as my back arched in a silent plea for further attention, further affection…more of her touch, but to be touched with surety, with confidence, with the utter and complete love burning in her eyes…it is such a gift.

In that moment, I chose to abandon misgiving and forego fear. I chose to let what would be come forth, out of the great mystery that anxiety and anger cautioned me to avoid. I chose to reach up, wrap my arms around her, and pull her body against mine, tight, fierce, molding us to one form. I chose to want again, to try again, to forgive imperfection and acknowledge the insistent voice within me that had never hated, blamed, or feared Serena Shepard.

If this is a mistake, let it be one that I do not regret. If this is a loss, let it be something sweet and worth keeping. If this is a chance, then let it be taken.

Desire crashed over me in a wave, reminding me of how rapturous it could be to drown. I surged into Serena's touch and felt her hesitancy fall away. I placed my hands on her body, exploring the perfect canvas of new skin. Every one of my feather light touches drew a hitched breath from between her lips. A gasp. A moan. A whimper.

I gloried in them more than I took joy in the sounds of a symphony. Her body would become my instrument, and I would play it until nothing existed between us but the bare measure of human and asari. I lowered my mouth to her neck, taking the skin between my teeth, nipping, biting, pulling away and letting cool air wash over the marks before following with my tongue, dipping it into the crevices of the bite, pushing her nerves further over the edge.

The sensation made her hiss, the harsh, focused breath streaking across my crest, sending shivers across my neck and down my back. Biotic energy flooded around the both of us, evidence of my need, a need too long suppressed, too long subverted by my thoughts and my mind, an entity I was no longer certain I could trust. She felt right in my arms.

The wisps of blue energy licked across Serena's skin, undulating across her back, whispering up her inner thighs. Her eyes went wide and she bit her lip, letting her eyelids flutter closed. I saw a shudder ripple through her as an almost pained breath crossed her lips. She sank back into the pillows, her hands abandoning me as they gripped the sheets. I smiled, using my hands to guide the energy that rippled over her.

"Fucking…hell." Shepard panted, beads of sweat beginning to form on her brow.

Here, naked, away from war and battle, locked in the throes of passion, she had never looked more beautiful. I lay beside her prone body, propped myself up on an elbow, and let my free hand rove over the tight bundles of muscle across her abdomen, reveling as I watched them tighten beneath the skin until the mattress tremored from the shaking of her body.

My heart pounded in my chest as a devilish idea whispered through my mind. I lowered my head once again, pressing gentle kisses across her defined collarbone and the taut muscles in her neck. Slight, panting whimpers left her lips in this sole sanctum where the warrior would allow herself to be undone. I purposefully kept my hands off of her, allowing my biotics to torment and titillate, to touch her everywhere with an entirely different sensation than that of skin on skin.

Her breasts rose and fell with her increasingly heavy breaths, and I watched them until the temptation became too much to bear. I bent my head to them, blowing a cool stream of air across her nipple, watching her stomach tighten and hearing her breathing stop. The light pink skin of her areola began to pebble, hardening as it begged for touch and stimulation.

I smiled, parting my lips, bending down to taste the offering Serena had made of her body. I closed my eyes and focused on the biotic energy swarming through my veins, demanding to be set free, to be an extension of me and my passion. I focused the energy at the tip of my tongue and closed my mouth over the taut peak of her breast. A low moan of content greeted me and I shivered in anticipation of my wickedness.

I pressed the tip of my tongue to her nipple, releasing the micro-shockwave, letting miniscule blasts of dark energy pulse through the sensitive skin and tender nerves. A scream rang through the room and heated hands wrapped around my neck, Serena pulling me against her, gasping for breath.

"Whatever you…just did…Jesus…fuck…please…please…"

The desperate edge in her voice awakened something in me. Something that transcended my drug-fueled cravings for pleasure and oblivion. Something that eclipsed my most intoxicating dreams. After Shepard had died, I lost myself. I had taken from strangers across the galaxy, reaching into their bodies and minds and stealing solace from them in an attempt to calm my raging heart. I had given them nothing, not truly. Now, however, I wanted to do nothing else. I wanted Serena to scream…not in pain, but in joy. In ecstasy.

"Of course." I answered her plea, bending to her other breast, tasting the salt of her sweat, glorying in the texture of her turgid skin.

Every sweep of my tongue across her nipple caused a shudder to resonate through her chest, across her abdomen. I rested my hand over her hipbone, feeling every minute thrust upwards as she sought for ultimate fulfillment and release. Her eyes were wide open now, locked on me, eloquent in wordless begging.

Once more, I carefully constructed the biotic pulse at the tip of my tongue, sending it across her breast again, watching the tiny shockwave ripple across her skin. A strangled cry left her parted lips, her back arched until she rose in a half sit, wrapping her arms around me, her hair tickling my back as she buried her head in my shoulder.

"Holy…hell…Liara." her breath whispered across my cheek with the scent and cool of wintergreen. "I don't…I can't even…" she pulled away, her eyes bright, wet, and unselfconscious of the tears that streamed from them, streaking down her cheeks. "I want you so much."

I want you too, I thought, basking in the truth of it, in the bliss stemming from no longer attempting to hurt her, cut at her, dig into her heart and soul and change her as I had been changed.

"Lie back." I whispered the order, pleased as she acquiesced, resting her head against the pillow.

Her hair lay about her face, a fiery tangle, a luminescent halo. I remembered the sun gleaming off of it on the harsh worlds where we had done battle. How it had seemed like a triumphant banner waving in the wind, indicating our victory, flaunting our strength and righteous purpose. Her hands moved, sliding up her body and coming to rest on her breasts, her fingers idly stimulating her body as she waited for me. I felt pieces and parts of myself, so long locked away, re-emerge. They were broken, disparate, but once, they had fit together and made something whole. Perhaps there was a way to stitch them together once more.

I shifted, abandoning my position above Serena's body in order to lie beside her. Even though we were not touching, I could feel the aftershocks of energy still pulsing through her body. Her eyes, once closed, were wide and alert and I wanted her. I wanted her to find peaceful, blissful oblivion in the touch of my hands. I wanted to be inside of her, guiding her through pulsating waves in a sea of sensation.

I moved nearer her and insinuated my arm behind her shoulders, drawing her close to me. Her expression was open, honest, and needy. I wanted to answer that need more than anything. I tangled my hand in her wild, fiery hair, cupping her cheek as I pulled her in for a gentle kiss. Her lips were chapped, but still soft, and I felt liquid heat pool in my belly as our tongues danced in rhythms, syntax, speech, saying all things that we struggled to find words for.

After a long moment, I moved my hand, trailing my fingers down her arm, ghosting across both of her breasts, earning a shiver and a bitten lip. My hand began to tremble as I reached the juncture of her hip and thigh. While Serena's body temperature had always been warm, between her legs lay an inferno that threatened to consume and remake.

Soft, gentle, I rested my hand over the neatly trimmed thatch of hair. Serena's hips bucked at even that slight contact, and her desperation for release became even clearer. Inasmuch as I wanted to honor her desperation…I also did not wish to give in. I wanted to hover here for as long as possible, for in this place I could…I could trap this memory to sustain me from what might happen when she went through the Omega Four relay.

"I want to touch you, Serena." I breathed the wish into her mutilated ear, noticing the beginnings of scar tissue at the outskirts of the ugly scabs.

Oh, Serena. I wanted to kiss the wound, but did not want to bring her pain, not when her body radiated pleasure. Life has not been kind…nor have I. However, here, now, for the first time in two years, I am beginning to believe that I might learn how to be kind again.

"Oh god please yes." Serena breathed in a rush.

Keeping my eyes ever on her face, I moved my hand down, arousal pounding through my veins as I found her heated, slick, and swollen. A high pitched keening echoed in the room as I explored every remembered mountain and valley of her sex. Each touch, every movement, caused her hips to buck, her stomach to tighten, and her breath to catch. I moved two of my fingers upward, pressing the tips against the stiff bundle of nerves at the apex of her sex. The skin felt as though it were on fire, and I could feel her pulse pounding through the distended organ as I splayed my fingers and moved my hand down, tracing both sides of her clit.

"Fuck…me…running." Serena gasped.

"Don't run from me." I teased her, tone gentle, touch moreso.

Once again, I built a miniscule shockwave on the tip of my index finger, leaving my others free to continue tracing across her sex, glorying in the slick heat of her desire, the visceral evidence of her arousal and need. Shockwave crafted, I pressed the tip of my finger to her clit and released the biotic pulses. Serena's jaw dropped, her back arched, and her hips spasmed upward. She held the position for nearly ten seconds before collapsing back down onto the mattress, breathing in ragged almost-sobs.

I drew her shuddering body nearer mine and she pressed her forehead against my collarbone, washing my breasts in the warmth of her breath.

"So close." she managed to speak between full body spasms of pleasure. "So fucking close." with great effort, she raised her head and looked me in the eye. "I need you inside me, Liara." her words were taut, tense, and full of the sacred desperation known only to lovers.

I said nothing; merely slid my middle finger through her folds until I felt her over-heated, pulsating entrance. A moan of desire rumbled in my throat, unexpected. Here, preparing to enter her, to claim her, I felt passionate for the first time since she had died. I had subsisted off of anger's manic energy, fury's drive, and wrath's mandates, thinking that they were passion. I had been wrong…true passion did not destroy. It did not wreck, or break, or bruise. True passion strove to create, to imbue, to take what was and make it better…to strengthen what was weak and inspire that which faltered.

"Please." Serena's need sliced at me.

A single movement, a decisive thrust, and her wet, smooth heat engulfed me. The muscles pulsated against my finger, locking me in, holding me tight. Serena's eyes flared, her hips trembled, her breasts rose and fell with quick, jerking breaths. Her lips tightened and a choking whimper stammered out from between them…she looked as though she was in great pain, and I began to worry.

"Am I hurting you?" I murmured the question, stilling the motion of my hand, feeling her clench tighter around me than she ever had before.

"No." she shook her head, hair swaying back and forth. "No, it's just…" I dared to push slightly deeper into her and she flinched, gripping fistfuls of the sheets, the muscles in her arms tight and defined, sweat running down her cheeks. "I haven't…been with anyone…since I woke up." she whispered, fighting to regain control of her body. "And the…the nerve damage is…fixed. I can feel…everything."

You have been with no one? The weight of the words she had spoken without hesitation or intent struck me. All this time and you have not sated the most basic needs of your body with another? Have you been…have you been waiting for me, Serena? Have you been faithful to a love you had no guarantee of reviving?

"What would you like to feel?" I asked, wanting to honor the depth of her unwarranted, undeserved devotion. Wanting to be worthy of the heart and body that she had left unsatisfied…for my sake.

"You." Serena replied. "All of you."

Needing no more, I slipped another finger inside her. A shocked cry peeled from her lungs and I exulted in the sound. I let the rhythm pounding in my heart drive the speed of my hand as I thrust into her, reclaiming her, denouncing my fear. With the arm around her back I held her steady as I increased the pressure and speed of my thrusts.

Her inner walls clenched around me with light flutters, occasional pulses, and I could feel her nearing the edge. Her every breath was an epithet or a prayer. I captured her pleas and her faith, trapping her words inside my own lips, letting her arousal stain my hand. Her hips surged against me, setting their own pace, carefully directing my ministry to her needs.

I kept my eyes open, watching every moment. Serena's eyelids were closed, a tear every now and again slipping from behind them. The foolish soldier who cried for joy and for grief, who wore her laughter and her sorrow, shameless in both. Her body began to tremble and her features tightened with the strain of looking over the precipice of oblivion.

My wrist ached with the force of her thrashing hips, but I ignored the minor discomfort, slowly curling my fingers inside of her. She cried out and her body froze, still longing for release, but no longer able to aid herself in the search for it, paralyzed by pleasure and the great "what if". Slow, steady, I pulsed my fingers and wreathed my hands in biotic energy, sending wisps and tendrils curling around her clit as I continued to thrust into her.

"Oh…god." Serena moaned , stiffening, shuddering, her eyes pleading. "Can't…wait…anymore…álainn anam. Need to…need to…"

"I know." I whispered.

I withdrew my fingers almost entirely, added another, and thrust into her once more while increasing the biotic pressure on her clit. A wail sundered the room, Serena's calm, competent voice rising in a cry of triumph and satiation. The sound of her climax ripped through me like a knife and I watched in awe as she twisted and writhed, locked in the throes of passion. She tossed her head back and forth on the pillow, the wail softening to a series of moans and shuddering breaths.

After a long moment, she calmed. Her arched back settled down onto the mattress, the corded lines of muscle in her neck receded, her ragged breathing no longer caused her breasts to heave. I watched as peace and satiation infused her and I felt my own need rise inside my body and mind. I needed what I had given her…and I needed it to be given. A fair exchange…something I had never possessed with my bed partners.

Moments later, the vice grip of her inner walls started to loosen, and I began to pull out. A weak, warm hand drifted up and grasped my wrist.

"Don't go, Liara." Serena murmured. "I wanna remember this…so that it can last forever."

Forever…the words she had said earlier reverberated in my thoughts, pounding through my veins like my blood and my desire and my need. Only the asari can grant forever in one moment…and that is not even the truth of it, but the illusion. But here, does that matter? Let us try to reach the illusion, the dream. Let us try to make it reality…we have done the impossible before.

"Serena," I remained inside her, linked in body, and I smiled when her eyes greeted mine. My own eyes burned as my pupils widened and I felt myself begin slipping outside my own consciousness. "Embrace Eternity.