Disclaimer: RWBY is not mine. Note the website that you are currently on. Yes, I like to point out the obvious. Also, screw typos and other nonsense that doesn't show when you work on these stories on a cell phone.

Chapter 4

"Hey, Gray?"

What the? Whose voice is that? ...please don't tell me it's another idiot again. It's dark again, and the one time it was dark, and there was a voice, I had to kill something not a few minutes after. Of course, there was the time it was dark and there wasn't a voice, but I still ended up running for my life shortly after.

"We gotta get up for the initiation, remember? Please don't tell me you're one of those guys that sleeps in all day," Juane pleaded worriedly. Not that I could really blame him. Well at least this guys not an idiot. Not in my opinion at least.

With a sigh I rose up to get ready for the day. I stumbled over myself twice before I was able to fully stand on my own, head still weary from the events of yesterday. Let's see, almost lost my manhood, almost died, and I was sucked into my head. Yup, pretty eventful.

"Alright, good, now let's..." Juane's words died in his throat now that he had the chance to really see my face. "Holy- Gray! Are you all right? You look like you stayed up all night running around Beacon."

I turned to him and replied the only way that I knew how in this situation.

"Meh."

His statement didn't seem to be too far off the mark though. As I grabbed my stuff and made my way toward the bathrooms, I couldn't help but notice the slow zombielike way in which I ambled down the hallways. My shoulders felt as if they were covered in tar, causing me to slump forward as I made my way along. If I paid any attentions to my surroundings, I would have noticed a few concerned glances that were sent my way.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," I said to myself when I arrived at the locker room. Or the washroom facility, to be more precise. I could feel the tick mark that was no doubt present on my head as I observed the guys and girls all entering the same shower room. My eyes furrowed as they closed and I pinched the bridge of my nose to complete the effect. The only saving grace was that there were an abundance of stalls for showers, toilets, changing, etc.

"Is this sort of thing normal?" I asked no one in particular. Not receiving an answer, I sighed before heading in with my head kept down. I made my way to one of the sinks to wash my face and happened to catch myself in the mirror.

"CHRIST ALIVE!"

I backpedaled away from the reflection of the deadman in the mirror. "Is that really me!? I look like I've been stuck in a prison where I had my soul tormented for thirteen years!" Hand on my chest as I tried to regain my breath, I studied my reflection and trembled. What the hell happened to me?

"I told you that you looked awful," Juane stated as he walked past me, eyes half-lidded in drowsiness.

"I'm sorry, I also think you failed to mention that I looked like a FUCKING CORPSE!" I all but yelled at Juane's back. I almost lost it when he made a shooing motion at me in his tiredness. I was too tired, and it was too early for this crap to go down. This was made evident by the many glares that I wasn't registering from the once drowsy occupants of the room, now thoroughly pissed (yet totally creeped out) by the new zombie kid.

I sighed once again before finally entering a shower stall, the thought of hot water running down my body warming me up. It also reminded me of every time I've ever received an epiphany, revelations I had of the world around me and of myself. I was not ashamed to admit that I always had my greatest ideas when I was wet. My God, this feels so gooood.

'Hey, man, mind explaining why I look like I was dragged through hell and back?' I tentatively asked in my head. If anything could help me out here, it would be The Voice.

"You do remember what went on in your head last night, right?" The Voice asked back. "Jeez, all that moping, crying, and other stuff of yours really took a toll on your mind and body. Not that you had much of a mind to begin with...wait a sec, I'm a part of your mind. Damn."

'It seems so long ago...' I thought as brief images of what had happened the day and night before flashed through my mind, the latter much more than the former.

"So you finally get through all your crap?" I mentally nodded. "So you know what you have to do, right?"

I nodded again, now in real time. I inhaled deeply for an extended period of time, unknowingly catching the attention of those around me. They watched intently as I slowly exhaled all the air that I had managed to hold in.

KRSH!

What they weren't expecting was for me to suddenly smash my head in the tiled walls in front of me and for me to yell out.

"ALRIGHT! NO MORE SAD REFLECTIONS!"

...

I twisted my head from side to side, a wide, open-mouthed smile gracing my face, and gauged the reaction of my fellow huntsman. Needless to say, I was immensely pleased with the shocked and slightly disturbed faces that were currently with me in the bath room. At least, that's what I could gather from my blood covered eyeballs. I could guess the expression, just not who it belonged to.

"What the hell are you looking at?!"

'They can't hear you, y'know?'

"And what, that's supposed to stop me?"

I snickered at this and began the process of washing the blood off my face. I was pleased to feel the now nonexistent wound on my face. The ceramic shard sticking out of it seemed pretty iffy though, so I plucked it and tossed it down the drain, where it would rest till the end of days. In no way would it ever become relevant. Ever...poor thing.

Satisfied of my dirt free body, I began the process of drying and cleaning myself, opting to finish by wrapping my towel around my head in a turbanlike fashion. I kicked open my stall and brazenly walked out to find my clothes.

"EEP!"

"Huh? What's wro- oh my."

"Sigh, really Gray? Really"

I tilted my head in confusion. "Hm? What's up?" For some reason everyone was staring at me, mostly with blushes mixed with irritation, embarrassment, and envy. Then I noticed a key detail: they were all looking down.

I followed their gazes and couldn't hold back my hand when it smashed into my forehead. Right there dangling between my legs was what appeared to be a pitch black censor bar. I would have been fine if it was just that, honest. The reason I slapped my head was because it reached all the way down onto the tiled floor. Before I could attribute this to anime rules or rating devices, I decided to say one phrase.

"GG."

People gasped and screamed as the black bar seemed to shiver at my word. All I did was screw up my own face in mortification as I realized exactly what was between my legs. And also what was between there for quite some time.

"GG. Shift to waist width, knee length."

We all watched in horrified fascination as the inky black rectangle became more square in shape, covering the dimensions that I had just specified. I nodded at this, now content that I did not look so awkward, and attempted to leave before I could cause another seen. Unfortunately, some random guy thought contrary to this and deemed it fit to interrogate me.

"Alright, what is THAT thing?" He growled out while pointing at GG.

I sighed, feeling that this was gonna be a thing, both me sighing and being questioned. "Do I really have to answer that?" I sighed again as everyone in the room nodded in affirmation. "Fine. This might come as a foreign concept to you, but this is what we call a penis. If you had to ask, I have to assume you don't have one as well."

"Daaamn, son got told!" Juane yelled tiredly from somewhere in the bathroom. I looked at his direction in confusion, not quite sure what to make of his statement.

"He's exhausted as hell because of his nerves that he's been covering up, and now it's given him this pseudo-drunk backlash. Just wait till we get to the cliffs, he'll be good then."

I mentally nodded at this. It seemed reasonable, and insanity always sounded logical to me. However, someone took exception to Juane's words.

Random guy, now identified as Cardin Winchester (How did I miss that? "Tired." Oh yeah.), couldn't take the idiocy that was me and decided to rush me. In a bath room. With slippery floors.

I executed a slide-pivot, the reflexes honed by tennis shoes combined with oily restaurant floors speeding up my actions, and deftly dodged a missed right hook by the enraged youth. The room was filled with laughter when Cardin then slid and crashed into a wall.

"Oh no!"

My body reacted to the words and I made another pivot, expecting one of Cardin's future teammates, only for one of my feet to catch on a bar of soap. That foot kicked backward and, by force of gravity, I fell forward and my knees slammed into the ground, my arms being the only things to save the rest of my body from the fall.

"Ahh, my knees!"

I then burst out in laughter as I allowed my body to lay on the tiled floor, the memory of those words evoking a deep joy that I was unaware of possessing.

"And he calls me the insane one."

The rest of the morning was surprisingly more mundane than what I had come to expect. My inner voice had decided to stay quiet, weeping about being more sane than I was. I had no idea what he was talking about. GG on the other hand had decided that he quite like his old place near my face, and had resumed the form of a twisted nightmare scarf. I convinced myself that it complemented my henchman attire, especially after I ditched the hat, replaced the eyewear for a normal pair of shades, and switched the red tie out for a white one. Yup, wearing a suit made me feel like a total badass.

Satisfied with my attire, I closed the locker that I had been assigned, hiding away the posters typically owned by the hormonal otaku teenager, emphasis on hormonal. Don't judge me.

"Where's your weapon?" Oh?

It seemed that it was finally time for me to meet the final member of team RWBY, as I turned to find Weiss' scrutinizing gaze on me. I glanced at the scar that ran down her left eye and had to stop myself from reaching for my own that was slightly above my brow. Damn that dining table for being at the exact height for me to run into it like that, a running problem in my family.

I decided that another prank was in order and did what I do best.

"..."

"...why are you staring at me like that?" Weiss asked in a guarded tone.

My face had taken on an apathetic look as I focused on Weiss. I slowly pointed to my throat and shook my head. The snow-themed girl at least had the decency to look slightly ashamed and proceeded to apologize.

"I'm sorry, it's just that you don't see that many mute huntsman." I rose a brow at this and she continued on. "I mean, wouldn't it make it difficult to communicate with a team?"

I donned my thinking pose before gesturing out pointing followed up by slashing. The Schnee Heiresss was confused, but was helped out by a newcomer.

"I believe what he is trying to convey is that all that is needed is to be given a target and he will take it down. Is that right?"

And in came in Pyrrha Nikos, the face of Pumpkin Pete's Cereal. I could feel the cavities coming on even as she continued to speak. "I think it's quite the inspiring aspiration for one to become a huntsman despite one's own disabilities. Though I am a little concerned about how you worded your usefulness." Your words, not mine.

I offered her a small smile, and smiled wider when she grinned back. Weiss on the other hand looked more thoughtful (read conniving) as she thought about the advantages of being paired with the two of us. I took a step back when she started to chuckle darkly, not really being subtle, but not being noticed by the redhead either.

"Hold on, where's-"

"Hey Gray."

Speak of the devil...

"Wait, you two know each other?" Weiss asked Juane. The blonde seemed to slump depressedly, probably a result of Weiss' attitude toward him.

"Hello again!" Pyrrha said excitedly.

Juane looked into my eyes and sudden realization passed through us. I teared up as he sobbed, and I couldn't resist pulling him into a comforting hug.

"Finally, someone who understands!" Juane cried.

We stood there for some time, both girls trying to figure out how to diffuse the now awkward situation. When I noticed this I shot a stern glare at them which had little effect, due to two hugging guys.

"How could you ever hope to understand our pain? The struggles we've had to overcome? The everyday near-emasculation that threatened to deprive us what made us men?" I angrily said in a low voice. "The...dresses?"

At this Juane almost became near-catatonic, and I was forced to support his full weight as he became bogged down in bitter memories.

"Easy, buddy. C'mon, let's get you fixed up before we take part in the school's twisted idea of playing Cupid."I left the girls with one last parting glare as I was now forced to drag Juane to the Initiation's start at the cliffs above the Emerald Forest.

"Not a word to anyone," I ordered as I happened to pass by R and Y. Had I chanced a glance or even a halfhearted look backward, I would have been graced with the image of all the girls looking on incredulous before Yang would speak up.

"Okaaaay...so, that was a thing."

[With me]

'Err, so how exactly am I gonna get to the cliffs?'

"Wellll...kind of like-"

"-this. You're welcome."

'What the hell are you going on about? I had to walk while dragging nearly dead weight for half an hour! Now if you don't mind, I've got more important things to do.'

"What things?" The Voice asked incredulously.

"Psst. Hey! Psst! Oi, Ruby! Are you listening to me?" I whispered as loudly as I dared in front of Ozpin and Goodwitch. Yeah, this was my idea of more important things.

It should come to no surprise that the students taking the initiation, including the awesomeness that is myself, were now lined up along the cliffs overlooking the forests that were no doubt filled with Grimm. Heh, Grimm to the brim.

"Yes, yes, moo, and all that other nonsense. I swear, you have to have ADHD, or at least ADD. So. Got any bright ideas on how to make it down alive and, hopefully, in one piece?"

I smirked, unconsciously catching the eyes of several others near me, as I thought back to my brilliant idiocy of a plan that I had devised on the fly. 'Oh...I have a plan.'

...

"...well? What is it?"

"I have a plan..." I trailed off once more, inciting the ire of my insanity. It reminds me of the times that I would talk to myself. Actually having someone talk back from my own mind instead of supplying myself with appropriate dialogue was fun. And a little disconcerting. But mostly fun.

I focused on my surroundings again, a bit bummed that Ozpin had already gone through his speech. I was in time, however, to catch Juane as he was launched unceremoniously into the air and down into the forest.

'Note to self: Reproduce the throwing thing. Sans beta testing,' I thought to myself as I eyed the launchpad.

"Noted!"

I paused when I finally noticed that I was alone on the cliffs with Ozpin and Goodwitch. "Umm, hello? I kinda need to get down there so that I can kinda get a teammate. I mean, you know. No hurry," I said as I hopped side to side in anticipation.

"Now, now, there's plenty of time for that; I made sure to keep the relics in a place so obvious, no one would ever suspect."

"Are those the relics right there? "

"Temple, huh? Neat."

"No one at all," Ozpin finished proudly. His face then grew serious. "You won't have any more qualms about putting down a mindless beast now, would you?"

I glanced at my hands, as images of all the events since my arrival passed through my mind, and I balled them into fists. I had my answer.

"I think...I think I'll be okay. It's do or die out here in this world, and I prefer living."

The headmaster visibly relaxed, his relief of me not dying, prematurely at any rate, showing. "That's good. Very good. Inaction has been the cause of death for many a good huntsman, and it would be such a shame to see such a young flame be snuffed out so early. Now that that's settled, would you like to talk a bit more?" Okay, now this was beginning to get a little weird. I was beginning to grow annoyed and confused with the gray haired man in front of me.

On one hand, I was growing incredibly confused to why he was stalling me. On the other hand, I thought it was sorta funny that Goodwitch kept glaring at Ozpin so intensel-

...DING!

That bastard.

"You're delaying me. For what reason, I don't know. But you're sending me off. Now." Down below, everyone was pairing up and, if I didn't hurry, the choices would become very limited. Was someone pre-picked to be my partner? Surveillance perhaps? It's not something that I would put past Ozpin.

The female professor seemed a bit shocked that I was able to figure a bit of their plan out. Her male counterpart on the other hand looked me dead in the eyes. I'll never know if he ever found what he wanted in my soul windows. He turned away with a shrug and pushed a button.

FWOOF!

...

"Yeahhh, no I'm not gonna do that."

Ozpin turned around in surprise, fully expecting me to have sailed through the air and possibly into a tree. What he was not prepared to see was the harness that I now had attached to myself, a pair of wings strapped to my arms. To complement this I was also wearing a winged helmet, a single blue horn protruding front and center. And for those wondering, I sidestepped the launcher.

The professors took a step back in cation, my sudden change in appearance seeming to make them wary of me.

"And where exactly did you get that?" Ozpin asked as he finally broke through the tense atmosphere that I knowingly caused.

"Where indeed..." I answered with a faraway look in my eye, a grin plastered in my face.

The professors glanced at each other and were quick to compose themselves. The headmaster was faster to recover and decided to stall me again.

"I take it that's your landing strategy then?"

Instead of answering I stepped up to the edge of the cliff. I took deep breaths as I tried to push all the common sense to the back of my mind. It's not so easy to accomplish when your mind is built upon logic and reasoning, but I managed somehow. I then had to stamp out my fear of heights as I glanced down at the steep drop. I took in one more deep breath and let it all out. I was finally ready.

Precariously balanced, I pushed off the ledge with all my might, arms outstretched to catch the wind beneath my wings. I had used a bit of aura as I had taken off, the extra boost furthering my progress over the forest. I had reached the peak of my flight. Mathematically speaking, I was now following the trajectory of a parabolic arc. About negative X squaredish. And if you know math, then what happens next shouldn't come as a surprise.

I fell straight down. Well almost. But the near exponential negative incline made it close enough so that it seemed that way. Not that any of that came to mind. Only one thing passed through when I saw the ground and trees coming to meet me.

'Totally worth it.'

Author's Notes:

Gray: Alright, and that's a wrap everyone. A little shorter all around, but good job!

45: We're straying dangerously close to crack fiction status...

Omega: Yup! Kinda sad that the bath scene didn't include Nora, but oh well.

Gray: ...it was going to, but it was cut out due to difficulty in transmission.

Omega: Seriously?! Damn it!

45: At any rate, we're going to have someone join the crew next chapter! And with that said...

All: Enjoy the Day!