Crossroads
AN: Hello! How is everyone? I hope that you are enjoying the amazing holidays. I'm finally moving out of this enormous house, that holds so many memories of wonderful past times… Anyways, where I'm moving is a small town in the mountains of Colorado, where there is barely any signal for my internet, so I won't be posting so often. Also, you'll find out who is the father of Azula's son… I laughed so hard, because I still can't picture them together. But they do say that opposites attract, right?
I'm very happy to inform everyone that I have a beta-reader. She did an amazing job. A special thanks to faia_sakura. She took the time out of her busy schedule to do such an amazing and wonderful job. To everyone that likes this story and is constantly giving me amazing reviews, thanks.
-Mercury Serenity
Changes
She couldn't think, sleep, or concentrate. Her head throbbed; having him next to her was too much. Her body was reacting differently. She told herself to calm down and not to listen to his calm breathes or the rhythm of his heart. It was absurd, but it was the truth. Her body wanted to feel the warmth of his hand over her soft, pale skin. Her lips needed – no, demanded – to feel his lips on hers. She wanted to tangle her fingers through his dark hair.
Ugh, she thought exasperatedly, what am I thinking?
Toph shifted uncomfortably on the bed. Her clothes clung tightly to her skin. She was sweating; sleeping next to two firebenders was too much. She hated how hot it'd become on the bed, so she removed the soft, silk blanket that Zuko had placed over her.
"Are you all right?" Zuko said groggily.
"Um," she mumbled, shaking the blanket off her feet. "Yeah, I'm fine." She rubbed the sleep off her eyes and reached to touch her son. Rae was still asleep, with a pleasant smile on his lips. His head rested comfortably on his father's chest. "How are you?"
"Sleepy," he confessed, chuckling softly. Zuko ran a caring hand over his son's hair. It felt so soft, silky, and gentle against the palm of his hand. He couldn't get enough of his dearest son. The scent of innocence and happiness surrounded Rae. He was precious. His son; his child had become his world. He just couldn't seem to get enough of him. The feeling of pride that swelled in his heart was overwhelming. Rae was one of the few good things—one of the best things—in his life. "You've been tossing and turning most of the night."
"Are you trying to say that I kept you up most of the night?" she asked teasingly.
Zuko lifted his head off the pillow and looked at her. "No, that's not it," he replied.
"Then what are you trying to say?" she asked softly, adjusting her pillow. Her eyes were closed, but she could see both Zuko and Rae. The space rock bracelet on Rae's wrist provided her the ability to receive better vibrations to see her son. "Why can't you sleep?"
"I have been thinking," he responded gently.
"You have? How surprising," she jested, turning on her back. "Is Rae slobbering on your pajamas?"
"No," Zuko laughed. "I'm surprised he hasn't slobbered on me. I thought that since he is also your son, he might inherit all your bad habits."
"He's the perfect son," she said proudly. "He's nothing like me… um, well, he has a combination of our tempers."
"I believe you," he breathed. "Toph?"
"Yeah?"
"What are we going to do? Rae knows that I'm his father. He knows that he's a prince. He should come to the Fire Nation with me—"
"No," she interjected. "My son stays with me. You can't take him from me, Zuko."
"You are coming too," he said. "I want to present him in front of the council."
"I don't think that's a good idea," she said, biting her lip nervously. "They won't believe you."
"If you could see him, Toph," he said, tilting his head to the side, to watch his son's sleeping face. "Rae looks too much like me for anyone to believe otherwise."
"Still..."
"What are you afraid of?"
"Of everything… there are those that oppose you. The previous Fire Dork Ozai might send one of his many followers and they might harm my son. Rae poses a threat to him. What if Azula does something? She wants to dethrone you and place her son—"
"Haru won't allow it," he said blasé.
"Haru? What does he have to do with this?"
"Haru is Kion's father," he said, "I thought you knew. Didn't Sokka tell you everything?" he asked, raising a perfect eyebrow. Toph opened her mouth to speak, but quickly shut it. "Haru and Azula dated for a few months and she became pregnant. They had Kion, but Azula's attitude and Haru's pacifist nature clashed. She wants her son to emulate our father and Kion is too docile. He's calm, shy, passive, and quiet. He's also an earthbender. He's a great kid. " He chuckled delightfully. "The Fire Nation decrees states that a candidate for the title of Fire Lord needs to be of royal lineage – inherited by his/her father – and possesses the ability to firebend. Kion doesn't possess the firebending quality."
"But," she paused. "You know how convincing she can be. What if she makes the Fire Sages…? I don't know, dethrone you?"
"Then I would just fight back," he said casually, tracing lazing circles on his son's back. "I'm not afraid of Azula."
"I've noticed… But, Zuko, what if she harms Rae? What if something bad were to happen to him? My son is innocent and he doesn't need that type of life," She said dejectedly.
"If Azula or anyone tries to harm Rae, I would kill them with my own hands. If Azula, if she does anything against our son… I would obliterate her from the earth. If Ozai tries to as so much as look at Rae, I will make him vanish not from the Fire Nation, but from the planet. I'm not joking when it comes to the safety of my son and his mother," Zuko said seriously, through clenched teeth.
"Me?" Toph gasped.
"Yes, Toph," he said, swallowing hard. "I'll defend you and our son. You aren't alone anymore. You have me. I'll kill to protect you." She'd never heard Zuko sound so firm and stern.
"I can defend myself. I'll die protecting Rae," she said, shaking her head. "I'm just scared. This is definitely something… that I never imagined happening. I thought that you and Rae would meet when he was much older…" she trailed off.
"But it didn't happen that way… Toph," he stopped, wrapping his arms around his son. "If anyone lays a finger on my son… or you; they will regret it. I'll be merciless and ruthless! I'm not joking. You and Rae are very important to me," he said gravely. "You guys are my family now."
"That's what you are saying now," Toph mumbled loudly.
"It's the truth, Toph. Rae, the gang and you… are my true family."
"Fine," she said confused. "What if you meet someone else? Someone that is flawless… Your perfect match… A person without any incapacity; someone who can see… Someone who can give you many sons and daughters, Zuko."
"It would be nice to have another son or a daughter, Toph. But, I don't really want another son any time soon," he said sincerely. "I'm in love with the one you've given me."
"But if you were to get married and have other kids," she said, swallowing the bitter taste that was forming in her mouth, "you could see them grow—" She didn't want Rae to have half-brothers or half-sisters. She didn't want her son to have a stepmother. No, no, never. She didn't want Zuko to marry anyone. She wanted him to be hers - forever and ever - but that was all she could do desire, want, and dream of. "Wouldn't it be nice to see your children grow from infant to adult? To be part of their lives."
"Ugh!" Zuko grunted in irritation. "Shut up, Toph! If you are gonna say something like that, say it like you mean it," he interrupted, tossing the pillow that was next to him at her. "You talk too much. I don't want any other children… that is, any child that doesn't come from you. If you really want me to have children, then you have to be their mother…"
"From me?" she questioned, shocked by his reply.
"Yes," he nodded, his cheek growing hotter with embarrassment. "I don't want my children to have different mothers." He said earnestly. "It's not — what I mean is, you can't just talk about me having kids with other women. I-If I'm going to have other children, they have to come from you. You are a great mother. And our children would look gorgeous. We make a great team…" he trailed off expectantly.
"I," she paused and laughed nervously. "Is this your way of telling me that you want me to have more of your children? Shouldn't we date first?" she laughed, placing the pillow that Zuko had thrown at her, over her head. If it had been the old Toph, he would be under a rock-a-lanche. "That's so not gonna happen," she said, shaking her head. "I was sick throughout the entire pregnancy. Rae kicked me to the point of—I'm not going through it again," she said flatly.
"I'm fine with Rae," he said, "for now." He added.
Toph removed the pillow off her and opened her eyes and sat up on the bed. Zuko's heart hammered loudly. He stared expectantly at her; she was going to do something to him. Toph was very vengeful. But in reality, the Fire Lord was serious when he told her that he didn't want his future children to have different mothers.
"You can't be serious, though,"
"I am very serious," he mumbled. "If Rae is going to have brothers and sisters… you are going to have to be their mother. I'll make sure of that."
The hairs on the back of her head stood up. Her own heart was pulsating briskly. What was Zuko trying to tell her? Did he wanted her or was this something entirely different from what she was thinking?
"Let's change the subject,"
"Why, Toph? Is it too much for you?"
"Just change the subject or you'll regret it, Fire Lord!" she hissed.
"Rae, he deserves a better life," he started, looking at Toph. "You deserve a better life too. You don't have to work anymore, Toph. Let me take care of you. Let me act as the man of this small family, please,"
"Shut up, idiot," she said, punching his arm. "In case you've forgotten," she said, straightening her back. "I don't need anything from you. I can pull my own weight. I can take care of Rae. I can provide for him. I've done so over the last four years, and I intend to keep doing so."
"Why? I just- Ugh!" Zuko gently placed his son next to him and sat on the bed. "You don't get it, Toph." He looked down at her. "Why can't you accept my help? I'm willing to put the world at Rae's and your feet. I just ask that you move to the Fire Nation with me. I need you guys near me. I don't want to take him from you... Rae will always remain near you; but I need you there with me in order for that to happen. I need to be close to protect you and Rae. I want you to be a permanent role in his life. I would never take him from you. I want us to be together—um, to educate him – you and me, Toph... Yes, to educate our son together."
"I don't know," she said baffled, running her hand over her face. "This is all so sudden. You make it sound so easy… like you want to marry me," she said teasingly, leaning back against the headboard of the bed. Toph closed her eyes and enjoyed the cadence of Zuko's and Rae's heartbeats.
"I'm just thankful," he said, whipping his head to glance at her, "to have such a wonderful son. It's all thanks to you. But, it's time that I step up and take charge of my son's life. We need this, Toph… I need this."
She looked beautiful under the soft glow of the candle light. Her long, dark hair cascaded over her shoulder. Her eyes were closed and he felt the urge to touch her cheeks with the back of his hand and kiss her parted lips very gently. He leaned closer, but repressed the need to feel her skin. Instead, he kissed his son's temple. Rae was all that mattered. His feelings, wants, and needs could be dealt with later. The strange feelings that Toph awakened inside of him needed to be pushed down and bottled into the deepest confinements of his soul. Rae was the most important things in his world right now.
"I'm thankful too," she said, sighing heavily.
He wanted, no, he needed to know what she was thinking. With Toph, it was difficult to know what was going through her head. He wanted to know if there was any future between them. He'd been honest when he told her that he only wanted her to be the mother of his children. The thought pleased him. He didn't know what exactly was about her that reeled him in. They had known each other for many years… Perhaps, it was the fact that he felt so at ease with her or the fact that she was could understand him without putting forth any effort. He could be himself around her and know that she would never judged him. Maybe it was something else; something unknown to him.
"Toph?" he whispered.
"What, Zuko?"
"How are we going to make this work?"
They had to consider their son's needs before their own. Rae needed his father. Zuko needed to see his son grow. As the Fire Lord; he needed an heir. As a man: Toph's friendship and companionship. He always had. Even when he was engaged to Mai, he needed Toph near him. It angered Mai that he couldn't go a few hours without Toph. Maybe he'd confused his constant need for Toph as friendship and it was more than that. Could it be love?
"I don't know," she said despondently. "I don't know how we are going to make this work. I really wish I knew…"
They'd talked for the remainder of the night. They pitched in ideas on what to do now that Zuko and Rae had found each other. Zuko wanted Rae and Toph to move in to the palace with him. He wanted his son to take his rightful place as the prince of the Fire Nation. He wanted to lavish Rae in the splendor and privilege of being the son of the Fire Lord. He wanted Toph to be with them too. He didn't specify all his reasons why he wanted her beside him. But deep down, he needed her next to him because he'd felt lonely after she left the Fire Nation. Because, he feared that she would leave him again and take his son. Because he just couldn't find the words to tell her how he felt for her.
Toph wanted Rae to remain with her and have Zuko visit them at Song village whenever he could. But this wasn't enough for her or the Fire Lord. Toph didn't want to be without him again. She'd come to the realization that her life had been half-meaningless. Her son made it possible to survive all those years away from Zuko… But she always wanted him. She craved him and desired his company. She loved him and probably always will. She'd given her heart, soul, and body to him. There would never be anyone that could hold her heart the way he unknowingly did.
"Toph, please, come with me," Zuko pleaded.
He wanted to be involved in his child's life. The strain in Zuko's voice made her shiver. She feared that he would take Rae from her. Zuko feared that Toph would take her son from him; again.
"I'm so confused," she said, pulling at her hair. "We have to think about this. Rae has always been in Song village. That's where he grew and that's where we live…"
"He can always go there, Toph," Zuko said. The light of the candle reflected on his eyes, flickering like stars in the sky. "I promise you that I'll take him there myself. He won't forget where he came from, Toph. He'll be a polite and honest man when he grows up. He'll be kind and accepting of everyone. I swear on my mother, I will be the best father for our son. I'll be the best person for you, Toph. I'll give you the world if you want it… but, please, let me be with him. I won't take him from you… ever. But let me be part of our son's life, please. I beg of you." He said, his voice trembling, as he spoke.
She gnawed at the corner of her lip and blinked hard. She knew that Zuko was honest. He'd sworn on his mother that he would never take her son from her. Toph was aware that Zuko was incapable of taking her son. He was incapable of causing her such pain; but her fears were there, they were tangible.
"I won't take Rae from you, Toph," he said irritated. "I'm not a monster. I may be the son of Ozai and brother to Azula, but I'm not like them. I've proved to you that I am not like them!" he said angrily.
"I know that you aren't like them," she said softly, reaching her hand over her sleeping son and placed it on Zuko's forearm. He looked down at her hand and apprehensively, placed his own on hers. He felt the sparks that her touch caused him. His heart went on overdrive, his mouth went dry, and all he could do was hold his breath.
"I'm not like them," he repeated.
Indeed, he was the son of the vicious and megalomaniac Ozai and the brother to cruel and insane Azula. Toph didn't know if she shuddered at the sudden thought that Rae could easily inherit all of Zuko's family traits or because of Zuko's touch.
"He won't turn in to them, Toph," Zuko said reassuringly, as if he could read her mind. "He has you… you are good, Toph. And, he has me now. We'll be positive role models in his life. We'll teach him the right path to honor, kindness, and compassion."
She believed his words. They were like silent promises that eased her soul. In the end, they didn't come up with a solid plan. It aggravated him that they didn't have anything concrete figured out. He wanted his son near him so much. He wanted Toph. He wanted so many things. Zuko felt that he'd missed too much in Rae's life already. He wanted to provide the young boy with the best education and the best life for a prince. But most of all, he wanted to provide all the love that he'd lacked as a child.
The Fire Lord stood up and walked around the foot of the bed. Toph could distinguish his movements in the darkness. He walked to the night table near her side of the bed and picked up the candleholder. Curiously, she observed him closely. She wondered what he was doing. He went in to the closet, pulled out a small bag and then brought it to the bed and sat it near Toph's leg.
"What is in there?" she asked curiously, as she heard the soft sound of Zuko placing the candleholder back on the table.
"It's some of my clothes," he said nonchalantly. "Here," he handed her a large night shirt. "It'll be a little big on you… But not too much; you are a tall girl. You should wear it. You'll sleep comfortable. You never liked sleeping in a dress, anyways." He chuckled. "Well, we'll sleep in tomorrow. I have instructed the innkeeper to send breakfast at around eight or nine tomorrow… Also, he'll be sending a massage to our friends to join us for breakfast. We can spend the morning with them, but later, we can continue our conversation," he said, as she took the night shirt from his hand. "We could go to the fair, together, as a family."
"Okay," she said tiredly. "We can buy Rae his-"
"Cotton candy," he finished with a smile.
"Thank you," she mumbled, smiling gratefully. Zuko knew her well. She did hated sleeping in a dress – It wasn't exactly the most comfortable thing in the world. "I'm going to change."
"Okay," he whispered, sauntering back to the closet. "I'm pretty tire. I'm going to change. I took a bath earlier… so I'm going to bed... Good night, Toph."
"Good night, Zuko,"
She got up and went in to the bathroom to wash up and change. When she was done, Zuko was sleeping on her side of the bed. He'd wrapped one arm around her pillow, holding it so tightly and the other was gently draped around Rae, who had turned on his side and snuggled closer to the Fire Lord. Toph didn't need her eyes to see that Zuko and Rae had peaceful smiles on their lips. She could sense it on the rhythm of their heartbeats.
"Good night, Rae, Zuko," she said inaudible. She walked to Zuko's side of the bed, gently lowering her head, and touched his face. "Good night, Zuko. Thank you… thank you for our son… for this second opportunity to be in your life again." she said, running her index finger along the contours of his bottom lip. "I've always wanted to make you happy... I thought about what you asked me… I want us to be united as we raise our son… I'm scared, though. I'll go to the Fire Nation with you… and Rae," she trailed off. Zuko shifted, and drew in a deep breath, but didn't wake up. She jumped startled, as the strange electrical shot ran down her body. She silently marveled at the powerful reaction the simple act had on her heart.
His eyes opened slightly and he smiled at her. "Stay with me," he mumbled, lifting his hand to touch her face. "Stay, don't leave me again." He raised his head moving closer to hers, his lips gently touched the corner of her lips in a tender, yet chaste kiss. "Don't leave me again, please… Don't ever leave me," he whispered, closing his eyes and returned back to sleep.
She quickly drew her hand to her lips; tears of despair fell down her pallid face. He'd kissed her, but he surely wasn't talking about her. He couldn't be - he was talking about Mai. He probably missed her and subconsciously wanted her to return. She wanted to cry. Her heart ached so much.
Yes, Toph thought miserably, he's thinking of Mai.
Angrily she walked around the bed and silently crawled under the covers, kissing her son's forehead. She stared blankly in to the familiar darkness, unable to fall asleep and unable to think clearly.