Crossroads

Hello, everyone! I hope that you are having a wonderful New Year. My Year started out super bad, but thankfully, I'm out of the hospital and resting at home. I wrote many chapters to this story and had my sister check it out. I asked her to post it and I'm crossing my fingers hoping that you like it. There's a second chapter that I'll be posting Sunday night. Anyways, here it is! Enjoy!

Conversations

The room began to feel small for the young earthbender. She felt like it was suffocating her, causing her lungs to collapse. Toph Bei Fong gulped hard and nodded her head several times, until she felt like it was going to fall off her shoulders.

"Are you all right, Toph?" Zuko asked concerned.

"Uh, yeah, just a little light headed from the surprise of finding you here," she said, straightening her back. She could detect a hint of alcohol on his breath, but she didn't mind it. Zuko was an adult and he could do as he pleased. "So, what's up? Did the Sugar Queen complaint to you? Did she send you here?"

"No, actually, she has nothing to do with why I'm here." Zuko said, shifting on the settee, he was sitting on.

"Oh, that's good to hear," she said relieved. "I'm annoyed at her. She likes to nag and pester the hell out of me."

"I wanted to talk to you about - Well," he stuttered, ignoring her previous comment.

"I'm aware of that, Fire Lord. Isn't that why you are here, to talk to me?" she said nonchalantly, crossing her legs at her ankles and pretended to act laid-back in front of the Fire Lord. If he only knew how difficult it was for her to act aloof when her body screamed to be touched by his masterful hands.

"Oh, yes, that's why I'm here," he said, raking his fingers through his hair.

Idiot, just act blasé, Zuko thought annoyed. The Fire Lord knew how to express himself with words. He's done it for years. He'd been taught that words could unite and fortify nations. He knew how to use words to concoct plans; he knew how to twist words to his favor whenever he would address his people or his country. But somehow, whenever it came down to talk to a certain earthbender - he found himself struggling to find the correct words. He groaned inwardly. The three cups of alcohol that Ran, the innkeeper offered him, had not been sufficient to provide the Fire Lord the courage needed to talk to the feisty earthbender.

"So?" she asked, gesturing him to continue. "What's so important?"

"Um, I was worried about you." He said candidly, he moved closer to her and clasped one hand around Toph's delicate wrist. "You barely ate breakfast this morning or complained about Sokka chomping his food or lack of eating etiquette. I'm getting worried about you… You've barely said a word to me during breakfast."

"I-I'm not sick. It's really nothing. I wasn't too hungry this morning and regarding Sokka, he's not that bothersome. He's just enjoying his food." She gulped edgily, feeling the electrical impulses that his touch created, jolting up her arm and down her entire body. "He reminded me of a zebra-lion chewing its food." She tilted her head away and tried to pry her wrist away from his hold, but he stopped her.

"Toph," he said in a low, raspy voice. She pretended that she didn't hear him and tapped her foot on the cold wooden floor. Zuko could feel the tension behind Toph's cool façade. He smiled impishly at the effect his touch had on her. He looked down at their hands and felt satisfied; their hands belonged joined together. "Toph," he whispered, and with his other hand he gently caressed her wrist.

"Y-yes?" she asked puzzled, her sightless eyes fixed on the floor.

"I," he began, but cleared his throat and gulped loudly. I feel something for you, he thought, maybe we should explore this feeling… together. No! Are you crazy? She'll never accept you! She would never allow it.

"You what?" she asked curiously.

"Oh, yeah, um, I saw Katara,"

"You said that Katara had nothing to do with why you are here!" She snapped irritated, raising her voice a notch.

"Let me talk, please," he said a bit aggravated with the earthbender.

"Fine,"

"I saw Katara standing in front of the inn with her arms crossed over her chest," he said. "She was pouting."

"Oh, sorry for snapping at you," Toph said, her cheeks turning red with embarrassment. "She always does that when she's livid, angry or just, aggravated. Well, she does that every time she doesn't get what she wants." She added.

"I know, Toph, I know. Remember, we are all best friends. I've known her for years." He said. "Anyway, I was on my way here,"

"Why?" she asked, her pallid green eyes danced under the morning sunlight that flooded the small room.

"To see how you were doing. I was worried about you and Rae was worried about his mother," he said innocently. "I wanted to ease his little heart, so I came to inquire about your health."

"Rae worries too much," Toph chortled softly. "He's so much like you."

"I've noticed a lot of similarities." He said and dried his sweaty palms on his pants. "So, do you feel better?"

"Eh, yes, I do. Thanks for asking," she said, self-consciously running a hand through her hair. "You didn't have to come directly to my room to see how I was doing. I can take care of myself. I've learned to depend on me over the last few years. I could've sent you a note telling yo-"

"You don't have to anymore." He interjected. "I can take care of you." He muttered, clearing his throat. "Anyways, Rae and I – we wanted to see how you were doing. Katara told us that you were acting strange. I took the liberty of leaving Rae with Haru, Aang, Sokka, and Suki. They were going to explore the town. Look for clues about my mother's whereabouts. I hope that you don't mind that Rae is tagging along with them." He said, ignoring her rambling.

"I trust Haru to be the responsible party," Toph shrugged. "I know that he'll take care of my – our child."

"Yes. Haru's my right hand in many of my official businesses outside of the Fire Nation. He's responsible and dependable. That's why I trusted our son's safety to him."

"I trust your judgment, Zuko," Toph nodded. "I know that you would never let any harm fall upon our son."

"Never, Toph. I would never let anything bad happen to Rae," Zuko said seriously and continued caressing her dainty hand. "They were going to buy our son cotton candy. Rae was content. I love his smile. It's so pure, innocent and so contagious… I found myself smiling too."

"Oh, okay," Toph said despondently, nodding her head. "I'm glad that one of his parents gets to see him smile. I would love to see his face… just for one day."

"You do?"

"Yes, just once," She nodded dejectedly. "So, um, when did you see Katara? She was here like ten minutes ago… That means that you were around the inn earlier."

"Oh, yes, like I was saying before," he began. His raspy voice was enough to send Toph spiraling out of control. "I spotted her in front of the inn and she waved at me and I assumed that something had happened to you. She told me that she was worried about you. She whined about you not getting out of the bathroom to talk to her. I-" he said nervously. The Fire Lord rarely got nervous. He always spoke his mind – there were times that he was too frank, but never crass or impolite – and he would get the message across. But damn it, he had difficulty expressing himself with this woman. Maybe alcohol wasn't the right thing to drink before speaking to Toph. She made him feel tongue-tied.

"I'm angry at her," Toph pouted.

"You shouldn't be," Zuko said comforting.

"I know, but," she sulked, then he caressed her shoulders with his large hand and she began to relax, as his fingers gently traced soothing circles on her back. "She wants to stick her nose in my business. I didn't really wanted to deal with her right now and I don't want to talk about her either, Zuko. That's why I locked myself in the bathroom, took an hour long bath; I just wanted to pretend that she was gone or that I was in some desolated desert. I know how she hates being ignored, and that's the only way I know how to make her go away."

"I understand," he said, patting her shoulder. "She cares about you," he chuckled, as he remembered how Katara and Toph used to behave when they were young teenagers. "We all care about you." He added. "I care about you."

"Yeah, uh-hmm, sure, yeah, that's a good one." Toph said, lifting her face and aimed her eyes at him. "Now you are gonna tell me that she's a good friend and I shouldn't be too hard on her..." she said annoyed, rolling her eyes.

"She is a good friend," Zuko said reassuringly. "And she genuinely cares about you."

"A super good friend," Toph said sarcastically.

"A really good friend," Zuko whispered, his lips curved up in to a perfect smile.

"Yeah," she nodded, narrowing her eyes.

"A really good friend," he repeated, threading his fingers through hers. "She took it pretty hard when you left the Fire Nation, Toph. But you shouldn't worry too much about her."

"Oh," she said guiltily. "I didn't know that she worried so much… She didn't mention it to me."

"She didn't want you to worry," Zuko said, as he played with her index finger. "Katara can be prideful at times."

"That's an understatement," she stopped and gnawed at her bottom lip. "It seems that being prideful is a trait that many of us have… right, Zuko?" she asked, arching an eyebrow. The Fire Lord remained silent and stared quizzically at her. "Was she the only one that missed me?"

"Um," Zuko cleared his throat and slowly released her hand. Toph frowned at the sudden emptiness she felt when his warm hand left her. She sensed him move higher onto the futon, until his back was resting against the wall. He leaned forward and grabbed Toph's hand, gently tugging at her arm. "Scoot up here. You are shuddering, Toph,"

"My bath water was a bit too cold," she said absentmindedly, crawling to where he sat and snuggled into his embrace. "You are so warm." She muttered contently, snuggling closer to him.

"I'm a firebender, Toph," he said smugly. He draped one arm over her shoulders and tenderly tucked her near his chest. Toph fitted perfectly in his arms; in his embrace. He didn't know when his thoughts began to drift towards this way of thinking, but he sure liked it. He loved the way she felt, soft and perfect. He wrapped his other arm around her small waist and gathered her even closer to him. "Was it really cold or lukewarm?"

"What?" she asked confused.

"Your bath water," he said.

"Cold, a bit too cold for me, Zuko; it was relaxing, though. But it's nothing that I couldn't handle."

"I could've warmed the water for you. Just like I used to when we were on the run from the Fire Nation," he said bashfully; his cheeks were burning with mortification. Note to self, he thought seriously, alcohol isn't good when you have to talk about your future!

"Next time, Fire Lord, I'll let you warm my water." Toph said bravely. "So, um, are you ever going to answer my question, Zuko?"

"Which one? You asked many of them,"

"Oh, okay, well, was Katara the only one that missed me? Was she the only one that missed me when I left the Fire Nation?"

"Oh, that question," he said blasé, running his recently shaved chin over her smooth cheek.

"Yes, that question. Are you stalling?" She giggled.

"I'm not stalling," he said defensively. "I'm thinking of how to answer that question. I don't want to end up under a pile of rocks if I don't answer your question properly."

"So, was it hard on you when I left the Fire Nation? And be honest," she asked agitatedly, tilting her head up, her forehead creasing and her lips pursed in a thin line as she waited for him to answer.

"Well," he inhaled and slowly breathed out.

"Well? It's a simple question, with a simple answer, Zuko. Just answer it," she ordered.

"I did," he sighed. "I did. I missed you like crazy." He said flatly.

"You did?" she asked surprised. "Liar!"

"I really did miss you. You aren't going to bury me under a pile of dirt, are you? You asked me a question and I answered as truthfully as I could. Last time that I told you the truth, you buried me deep in rubble, it took me three weeks to get completely cleaned."

"No," she scoffed, "I won't bury you under dirt for telling me the truth, Fire Dork," she chuckled. "That last time, I was a little hormonal. I didn't know that I was pregnant."

"Fire Dork? I thought the Fire Dork was my father,"

"He is," she said, and gently touched Zuko's forearm. "You are-"

"I'm what, Toph? Scarred? Evil?"

"Different than him. You are better than him in ever aspect," she said quickly, gnawing at her bottom lip. "But that's not what you wanted to talk to me about, right?"

"No, not really… I – no, that's not what I wanted to talk about," he said, resting his chin on her forehead. Toph felt small in his arms. Zuko was strong, burly, and sturdy. His dedicated regimen of practicing martial arts and years of discipline with his Dao swords were noticeable to Toph. His muscle bulged under the fabric of his clothes. Somehow, she could get used to this proximity; to the warmth and protection his arms provided her. "We agreed," he said slowly, inhaling the lemon scent off her hair. "We agreed that we would talk after breakfast."

"Yeah, I remember," she muttered. "So, what do you want to talk about, oh Mighty Fire Lord?" she mocked, pushing her bangs away from her eyes and leaned her head against the curve of his arm.

"I," he sighed, his breath tickling the skin of her neck, causing her to quiver. Zuko rubbed one hand softly over her arms, trying to keep her warm. She loved the feel of his callous hand; they were warm; just like the hands of a skillful firebender. "I wanted to, eh, well, talk about us," he struggled to say. "I want to talk about us." Zuko answered seriously, giving her arm a gentle squeeze.

"What's there to talk about us?" she said nervously, when she felt his breath tickling her cheek.

"There's a lot to say,"

Toph's inside burned with his nearness; they were too close, alone in a room where far too many things could happen. He was too close to her and yet he was so far out of her reach. She could smell his scent; it was agonizing to be this close and not be able to strip him naked and have her way with him. Just the thought of feeling his body next to her, brought back many memories of the night they shared together. She could barely hold on to her sanity. She pushed him away and moved a few inches from him and cleared her throat.

"If we are going to talk about something, then let it be about our son. He's the only thing we have in common." She said rudely; hiding her uncertainty behind harsh words. She had to hide her feelings from him. Toph couldn't afford to fall in love – again – with the Fire Lord. Their relationship was strictly business with one important thing in common: their son. Her son was the only thing that matter; he was the only thing that tied the Fire Lord with the beautiful earthbender... Her feelings for her friend – the father of her child – had to remain concealed; they couldn't be exposed. They would only bring her suffering. She didn't need this. She'd suffered enough. She'd cried enough. Her heart couldn't take another heartbreak.

"I understand, Toph," Zuko nodded. "And we will talk about our son later… but not now, all in its due time. We've been postponing this conversation for far too long. We have to talk about us. I need to know where we stand. What is it that you want me to do? I know that you want Rae to live close to me at the Fire Nation, but, you deciding this so suddenly… Wasn't your decision too precipitated?"

"What is this, an inquisition? Are you ashamed of Rae?" She screamed and threw a pillow at him. She understood the Fire Lord's concern. She wasn't ready to tell him why she made such an abrupt decision to move to the Fire Nation. She didn't want him to know that she couldn't live without him anymore. Her heart made the decision. Her mind told her to stay as far away from Zuko as she could… but here was the thing, she'd paid attention to her mind before and it had only caused her despair and hardship. She would listen to her heart for once. She wouldn't runaway. "You don't want your followers to know that you have an illegitimate son? A bastard?"

"Whoa, Toph, what the hell! My son may be illegitimate, but don't ever refer to him as a bastard! Rae is - he is amazing. I would never – Damn!" he cursed. "I would never be ashamed of my son!" Zuko said aghast. "My son is my pride! Even when I presumed that you had a child of mine - I never thought of him as a bastard! Yes, I was scared and I didn't how I would react when I saw him or her. But one thing I wasn't expecting was, that I would feel a sudden connection to my child - I fell in love with his tenderness. I loved him when I first saw him. Something in my heart felt complete... call it love, adoration or whatever you may, Toph. I love my son. He's my greatest accomplish and every hour that I share with him, I feel so blessed... In the Fire Nation, it doesn't matter if a child's parents aren't married, Toph. I don't care if I'm not married and have a son! Rae will never be cause of embarrassment to me…. neither would you." He whispered the last words.

"You mean it," Toph choked, her heart was ablaze by the words he'd spoken.

"Yeah, I mean it, idiot," he said angrily.

"Okay, you have a right to call me that. Don't get too used to it," she said defeated and assented her head slowly. "I had to I make a decision soon, Zuko." She said, clenching her hands in anger, pushing one of his arms away from her. "Rae needs you," I need you, Zuko.

"Why? Why are you so angry? Let me help you, Toph! You don't have to carry your burdens all on your own. You have friends; you have me," he mumbled the last word softly. "Damn it! I'll give you anything that you need. Just say it and it's yours!"

I need you. I need you so much. I love you. I need your heart, can it be mine? "Stop saying that! I don't need anyone… I don't need anything. I just need Rae! He's the only person that I- ugh! Let's not talk about this anymore…" She trailed off, when she sensed Zuko's hand on her shoulder.

"If you only need him, why are you moving the Fire Nation with me?"

The gloomy atmosphere was dense around them. She wanted to turn back the hands of time and just let his arms hold her tightly, the way he did a few minutes earlier.

"I feel guilty for keeping Rae from you all this years," she lied. Okay, not entirely, but that wasn't part of the real reason behind her decision. "I made the decision to have Rae grow up with you by his side. You are his father and he's always dreamed of being near you. If my son's wish to be near his father bothers you… you let me know. I can easily disappear and you'll never find us again."

"Don't ever say that," Zuko seethed, his eyebrows knitted together, as he glared at Toph. He placed his hands on his lap and stared down at them. "I wouldn't survive a lifetime without my son. I might as well be dead, Toph." He said lowly. "I don't want to live my life without him. I don't think that I could live my old life without him in it. You might think that I'm lying, Toph, but I'm scared to wake up tomorrow morning and find out that you've taken him from me, again. I wouldn't survive without him. If you left… I'll search for him. Oh, Agni, let's not talk about these things, Toph." He said miserably, running his hands over his face.

Her heart sank in her chest. She believed him - every word he spoke were true. She would rather die a thousand deaths than be without her son or Zuko. She was truly a callous, soulless person. "I'm just saying, if you don't want-"

"I never said that I didn't want my son beside me, Toph. I'm trying to understand you! I want to comprehend why you made such a hasty decision to move to the Fire Nation with me. You didn't even let me grovel," he chuckled dejectedly. "I was prepared to beg you to consider moving to the Fire Nation with me." He said in a saddened tone.

"You can beg me. I'm not stopping you," she teased, biting the inside of her cheeks to prevent herself from crying. The corners of her lips lifted and she found herself smiling a despondent smile. The tension that surrounded them was slowly dissipated.

"I'm not complaining about your decision, Toph. I just want to know why. I'm just curious. You aren't acting like the Toph I knew five years ago."

"Fire Lord," she began, "people change constantly as the years pass by."

"Don't call me Fire Lord,"

"Why not? That's your title as the ruler of the Fire Nation,"

"I know… It's just that to you, I'm your friend Zuko."

She nodded. "Zuko,"

"Yes, Zuko,"

"Zuko, don't ask me why I made such an abrupt decision to go with you. Just be happy that you'll be near your son. You'll get to see him grow up. You don't have to know the motives why I decided that Rae and I should move to the Fire Nation with you."

"We can't postpone this talk forever, Toph." He said frustrated. "One day, you are gonna have to tell me."

"I know," she gulped and slowly nodded. "One day, who knows, I'll be brave enough to tell you."

"You are always brave, Toph. Don't forget it, but it's true. I can wait until then. I'll respect your decision for now," he said, moving to the edge of the futon, next to where she sat. "Though, there's something that has been bothering me and I think that we should talk about it," he said solemnly.

"Um, what's bothering you?" Toph asked, nervously playing with her hands. She threaded her fingers together and inhaled deeply. "I'm curious to know. Your heart is beating erratically. It must be something juicy. Talk to me."

"Well," Zuko began, raking his hand through his glossy, satiny hair. "Promise me that you aren't going to open a giant hole and bury me inside of it."

"Is it that bad? Do you think that I have no class, Zuko…?"

"You are one classy female, Toph… But… You - with your temper and earthbending prowess… anything is possible."

"I'm not that bad… or dramatic! I'm not fourteen or fifteen year old anymore!"

"No, you're nineteen, but you still can be deadly when you are angry or when you don't get what you want, Toph. I don't want to risk it."

She chuckled and nodded. "I guess I can be… just a little, Zuko. But not with you, though. Um, you're my son's father. I can't just hurt you… intentionally. Rae would be disappointed in me."

"Yeah, right," he said nervously.

"I won't hurt you,"

"I know. You were always nice with me… You treated me better than the others… even when I first joined the group. You believed in me and accepted me despite accidentally burning your feet." He said humbly.

"Yes, that's old news. Don't get soft on me, Sparky."

"Sparky?"

"Got a problem with that?"

"No, Toph," he laughed.

"So, what's up? What's so important?" She said and scooted away from him.

"I wanted to talk about us…"

"To be honest, I didn't know there was an 'us', Zuko. It's always been Zuko alone… never Zuko and Toph."

"True." He nodded and pinched the bridge of his nose. "But after that night when we – " he gulped.

"When we did it?"

"Yes," he said absentmindedly. "We conceived and thus became an 'us',"

"Okay, I don't really follow your way of thinking," she said confused. So the Fire Lord was considering them an 'us'. She liked his way of thinking.

"We became an 'us' then or even before we, um,"

"Did it," she interposed.

"Yes, that,"

"Are you embarrassed that we 'did it'?"

"No," he said honestly. "You?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I'm curious,"

"Curiosity killed the cat, Zuko," Toph said nonchalantly.

"I'm not a cat, but I'm still curious,"

"I see," she said dubiously. "So, continue,"

"Oh, yes, the talk about 'us',"

"Yes," she nodded.

"Anyway, you see, you and Rae are moving with me to the Fire Nation, right?" he asked, and watched Toph incline her head to answer. "Okay, well, since we are going to be living together in the Royal Palace," he trailed off nervously. "We should have rules; a plan or an understanding of how things are going to function when we are together."

"Why? Are you afraid that I'll take over your money or your throne? Don't worry about it, Zuko. If I want any luxury or sumptuousness, I can go back to my parents' house in Gaoling. They'll be glad to have an heir in Rae. He'll never have to worry about being poor ever again. He would be set for life." She said curtly.

"That's not what worries me, Toph. I've never pinned you as that type of person."

"Good," she said, punching his upper arm. "Because I'm not."

"What was that for?" He whined, rubbing his arm.

"Look," she paused. "You don't have to worry about a thing. We'll play by your rules if that's what you want. I'll be kind to your servants. I won't get in your way or business as the Fire Lord. You can rule your nation as you've done so for the last several years, just let me be involved in Rae's life. I want him to have all the benefits that being the son of a Fire Lord can provide. I want him to be educated. I want him to have the life that he deserves. I'm doing this just for him. Because his happiness is everything to me!"

"Toph," Zuko grunted. "Stop changing the course of this conversation. I don't want you to live with me at the Fire Nation and feel uncomfortable. I want you to feel at ease. I want Rae and you to enjoy your time there… because that will be our home. I want..." He said aggravated.

"Just tell me, Zuko," she said exasperated. "What do you want?"

"It's not important,"

"Damn it, it is to me!" Toph shouted.

"Keep your voice down, please. People can hear us out in the hall. And, what I want isn't important... for now," he said, raking his fingers through his hair and exhaling. He got up from the futon and began pacing around the room. Toph inhaled deeply and rolled her eyes. The Fire Lord was acting like the brooding prince he used to be. "I do need to know one thing," he finally spoke, stopped pacing and crouched in front of her. He took her small hand in his and gently brought it to his lips.

It was now or never. He had to say it. She blushed at his action. "Have you thought of how we are going to interact with one another when Rae is around us?"

"Yes, we'll be civilized," she nodded, "just like we're doing now."

"How about like this?" He asked, cupping her chin with his free hand and claimed her lips with his.