Crossroads
AN: This chapter is a little racy. There isn't any sex, but there are hints that in the future there might be sex between this two characters. There are kisses, touches, body parts mentioned and exposed and things that might be unacceptable or inappropriate for others. I'm just forewarning the reader. Other than that, it's an enjoyable chapter.
Taking Chances
Toph snaked her arms around his neck and swiftly brought the Fire Lord closer to her. Zuko lost his balance and sent the earthbender flying on her back and landed onto the futon. His rock, hard body was stretch out on top of hers, keeping her grounded. His eyes were closed, but his hands knew where to move. They moved with a blinded and unknown knowledge, almost like a force led by the years of desperation he felt to touch her. They moved on their own accord; up and down her arm and waist, eventually tangling his fingers through her midnight black hair, steadying her mouth to his. Zuko's lips tasted every corner of her mouth, and gently prodded inside, until he touched her warm tongue. She moaned in to the kiss, demanding more of him. She was lost in his touch, in their kisses.
"Toph," he said in a guttural sound. "We shouldn't- we should, hmm, damn, I can't help myself."
"Zuko," she moaned softly, her fingers tangling in his hair. "I know we should stop," she said, letting her lust get the best of her. "You feel so damn good," she muttered breathlessly.
"I do?" he asked proudly, his hand stopping on the small of her back and looked directly in to her sightless, green orbs. Toph's cheeks were flushed, her eyes were semi-closed and her lips was parted in to a satisfied smile. "Damn it, Toph."
"We don't have to," she said quickly, tracing a path of fiery kisses on the base of his neck.
"We do. We have to. I don't think I'll be able to control myself if we don't stop now." He said gently, tilting his head back, as he slowly gave in into her kisses. "We have to stop. I don't want you to think," he began, but she startled him when she ran her tongue across his lips and reeled him in with a fervent kiss. "Good, don't stop."
His hands, his touch, felt like scorching desire, rendering her helpless. She wanted Zuko with all her heart. This felt so right. His sweltering kisses slowly peeled away at her soul. If he continued his ministration, she would lose herself.
"I don't want you to stop,"
"I don't want to stop, either," he said, as he loosened the ties in front of her dress. He pulled away from their kiss and looked down at her still covered chest. "You are beautiful, Toph." He muttered, showering kisses on her collarbone. His hand fell on the swell of her breast and she froze. "I won't go any further... any further than what you allow me, Toph." He said, gulping hard.
"I want you to go further," she said, closing her eyes, her senses were clouded by her desire. "It won't be our first time."
"I know," Zuko said, nibbling on her earlobe as his hand separated the fabric of her dress, letting it fall to her sides, exposing her chest. "Oh, Toph," he said surprised, fondling her breast softly, tenderly, causing her to gasp at the rich sensation that tingled throughout her body when he touched her. "I want to go slow. I want you to enjoy every minute of it."
"I am. I enjoy it," she confessed, as her fingers moved to the buttons of his shirt and gingerly unbutton them. "I'm enjoying every minute of it." When she was done, she pulled his shirt down his shoulder, until it rested on his upper arms. She caressed his chest, stopping down at the familiar scar that sat on top of his chest. "Is this from your Agni Kai with her?"
"Yes," he breathed in to her ear. She could hear the lust in his voice. He finished undoing the laces that tied her dressed tightly to her body and gently pushed them aside, until she was completely exposed under his eyes. The Fire Lord held his breath and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, as he admired her perfect womanly figure.
"Is this where Azu-"
"Toph," he muttered, as he dipped his head and kissed her chastely on her lips. "Let's not," he pleaded, cupping her breast in his hand. She nodded, carefully caressing the scar with her hand.
Their hands touched. Their lips kissed. Zuko and Toph were engulfed in the bubble of desire that encircled them. She felt safe in his arms. This time things were different. She was an adult. She knew what she wanted. She'd always known what she wanted; it had always been him. She needed him. She desperately needed him. Her heart told her that Zuko was the only sane thing in the moment, in her life, and in her destiny. Her mind told her a different story: it told her to flee, to run away. But how could she run, when this was exactly what she'd wanted since Zuko walked back into her life. Her mind told her that she would once again get burned and hurt by the Fire Lord. She heeded no attention. Her body was in charged. Her hormones dictated what would happen.
"Toph, be mine," he asked softly. His eyes were closed, but he desperately wanted her to believe in his words. She had to be his. Toph couldn't belong to anyone else. It was selfish of him, but how could he let her go. She'd given herself to him before, she bore him a son. No, she was his... Yes, she is, he thought possessively.
"I am," she said between kisses. "I have been. I'll always be yours, Zuko." She said lustfully.
"Damn," Zuko grunted, when he heard the soft rasp on the door.
They reluctantly pulled away from each other. Zuko still lay on top of the earthbender, staring at her glistening, flushed face. He pushed a few lose strands of hair away from her face, gently tucking them behind her ear and kissed the tip of her nose. He didn't want to stop. He wanted to be one with her, but he knew better. This wasn't the moment or the place. She was special; too important to him. He felt something deep inside of him snapped; it was something closed to love. It was a tender feeling; things would never be the same between them. From this moment forward, he had to make her see that she was too special for him. He was going to reassure her that they indeed belong together. He didn't want this feeling to stop. This was something that he terribly needed: his heart demanded it. He kissed her a few times more, but she didn't respond. Her passion had dissipated and he resented himself for losing control and letting things escalate to this point. She probably thought that he only wanted her for one thing. Zuko just stared attentively at her; a flood of emotions crossed her face. Had he hurt her? Was she angry at him? Did she enjoy their brief kisses, his touch? Many questions danced in his mind.
"Toph, I'm so-"
"Someone's knocking at the door," Toph interjected him coolly, turning her head away from Zuko. Her hands still caressed his naked backside, unable to let go. She dreaded letting go of him. He was her lifeline, her stability in a moment of turmoil.
"I know," Zuko mumbled.
"We should get it,"
"No, I don't want to let you go," he confessed, kissing her cheek tenderly.
"I don't want to," she paused and quickly added, "either."
He smirked, kissing her fully on the lips. The tip of his tongue graced the corner of her mouth and slowly slid inside, tasting her. She tasted like fruit in a summer day. Toph welcomed his tongue, deepening the kiss, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, pressing their naked chest together. She wanted his warmth. She wanted him; all of him. Toph had felt empty all this years they spent apart and now that he was in her arms, she couldn't let go. Toph wouldn't let go.
Another knock graced the door, causing Zuko to curse under his breath. "Do you know who it is?" he asked irritated, his eyes darting from Toph and then at the door. He took her hand and placed it on the floor. "Can you use your bending to see who it is?" Toph closed her eyes and sighed irritated, as the seismic vibrations formed a figure of an unknown woman in her mind.
"It's none of our friends," she reassured him, tenderly touching his cheek. "It might be the innkeeper's wife or a maid, perhaps," she shrugged, intertwining her fingers with his, but made no attempt to move away from him.
"Who is it?" Zuko asked loudly, covering Toph with his warm body. She hugged him tightly, depositing soft kisses on his exposed shoulders. Zuko heard the doorknob turned, but the door was locked.
"You locked the door?" Toph asked alarmed, lifting her head.
"Yes, earlier," Zuko said, turning to look at the door.
"Room service," A female voice called from the other side of the door. Toph exhaled and plopped her head on the pillow.
"Come back later," Toph said annoyed. "We don't need room service now. Thank you."
"Yes, I apologize," the maid said and scurried down the hall.
"She's gone," Toph said nonchalantly, her cheeks painted with a soft pink blush.
"How irritating… just when things were getting good." Zuko chuckled.
"I know." Her open hands caressed the Fire Lord's back. He propped his right elbow beside Toph's head and distributed his weight on it. He looked nervously at Toph. "You don't have to get off me." she said, blushing heavily. "You keep my breast warm and plus, I don't want you to see me naked."
"Too late," he teased. "I already saw you naked... your breasts... They are beautiful. You are beautiful."
"Zuko," she said mortified.
"I should have asked you this first," he said seriously.
"What is it?" she asked intrigued.
"Can I kiss you?"
"Why? You've already kissed me," she laughed, as she looked away from him. Her sightless eyes fell on the window. He followed her line of vision and rested his forehead on her cheek. "Rae is outside the building." Toph said seriously.
"How do you know?"
"He has the space rock that Sokka gave me a few years ago. It magnifies the seismic vibrations and allows me to know when he's near. I can find our son in a crowded room."
"That's, wow, amazing. You are amazing, Toph,"
"Yeah, I know," she said awkwardly.
"Toph,"
"Hmm," she said, threading her fingers in his hair.
"I don't think that I can keep myself from kissing you or touching you anymore." He confessed, his own cheeks burning with embarrassment. "I'm going to kiss you all the time."
"Why, Zuko? Why is that?" she asked, rolling from under him. She sat up, her dress falling to her waist and her perky breast visible for the Fire Lord to feast his eyes on. Zuko gulped two, three times and forced himself to look away. Toph managed to cover herself with a blanket and proceeded to fix her tangled hair.
"I don't know, Toph," he shrugged. "You're driving me crazy." He confessed. "You are different. I like it."
"I'm different?"
"Mmm-Hmm,"
Okay, this was the moment to tell her how he felt. Thank goodness for the innkeeper. The alcohol he'd given the Fire Lord was finally working. He felt loosen and ready to confess to her... He would be bold and brazen and just confess to her. He opened his mouth to speak, when his sense of honor kicked in. It was telling him that he shouldn't act so wickedly around the earthbender. He needed to keep his cool. Toph was different. She was too stubborn and honorary. Her feelings could easily get hurt if he wasn't careful. Zuko's honor didn't allow him to be wanton. He didn't want her to think that he only saw her as someone that he could easily fuck and then discard.
No, Zuko wanted honesty to be part of their relationship. He wanted to be able to discuss matters with her. He wanted to explore these feelings with her. But damn it all! Everything was complicated. He wanted to possess Toph's body. He wanted every part of her. Zuko wanted to run his fingers through her hair every morning after he woke up. He wanted to taste her lips every night after he went to bed. He wanted her for more than just cuddling in bed. He wanted to...
Shit, he wanted to court her, even woo her. He wanted to do the right thing. The Fire Lord had already hurt her once; he took her virginity. She gave it to him without a second thought and he never gave her anything in return. And then, she got pregnant with his child and struggled to be the best mother that she could be. The more he thought about Toph, the more he felt this need to protect her... to give himself to her. To his amazement, he felt something tug at his heart and it was a tender feeling. He wanted to make up for all the lost time.
Damn it, don't get him wrong. Zuko wanted her body very badly, but he also wanted a future with her. He saw his life with her. He saw the many possibilities and he itched to live them, experience them with her. He saw his future children, sharing similar traits to Toph – their future mother. He already adored his Rae and his future children - the children that Toph would give him. He had no doubt about it. She was destined to be with him. His sense of honor beat strongly within him. He would do the right thing with Toph. He would honor her. The way he should've honored her many years ago.
"Listen, Zuko, I don't know what got over me," Toph said mortified. "I probably-"
"Oh, no, don't apologize," he said alarmed. "I should be the one to apologize. I kissed you. I was the one… that initiate this… Toph," he said, gnawing at his bottom lip. "I don't regret this. I know that I shouldn't be feeble… I know that you probably hate me,"
"Calm down," she said, touching his forearm. "We are adult and things like this happen all the time. It wouldn't be the first time that two mature adults let loose of their cool and engag-"
"It's not that," he said ashamed. "I don't want to hurt you. I wouldn't forgive myself if I-"
"Seriously, Zuko," she said disturbed. "It's not like I'm a virgin, Zuko. I fucked you once… it's not like I don't know the result of my actions. I know what I was doing. As a matter of fact, I was kinda expecting it to happen."
"Toph, please, stop it! What did you say?"
"Oh come on, Fire Lord," she laughed. "There's definitely something between us."
"What do you mean?" he asked, eyeing her quizzically.
"There's this sexual tension," she laughed again, trying hard to hide her nervousness. Why was she acting so aloof was beyond her?
"I don't want to hurt you. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I'd hurt you again." He said upset. "I don't want Rae to think that his father is the lowest man alive."
"He would never think that way," Toph said gently. "You are a better father than mine and... yours,"
"I want to do things right, Toph. I want to spend time with you… And get to know you better. Reacquaint ourselves… before we – let our passion get the best of us."
"What do you mean?" she asked confused. "We already know each other. We've been friends, for like ever," she said.
"Yes, but you left me and I didn't know anything about you for the past four and a half years," he said remorsefully. "You were alone, with no one to help you care for our son. You've changed." He admitted slowly. "I don't want to be callous like my father… He slept around with his many concubines and never cared about my mother's feelings."
"You aren't him," she said, linking her arm through his. "You are different. You'll never be him! Even when you wandered the world searching for the Avatar all those years… you were never like him. You don't ever have to worry about such things. You are better than your father and sister. You are kind, benevolent and the best father for Rae. All of us – your friends – we are proud of you."
"I want you to be proud of me, Toph."
"I already am," she smiled.
"I also want to make you happy. I want to return the favor that you've bestowed upon me when you decided to carry my child inside of you. I want to thank you for letting him live and for loving him unconditionally, for giving me the opportunity to meet him… and for the best gift that you have given me,"
"What is that great gift?" she asked, her eyebrows knitted together.
"Moving to the Fire Nation with me, Toph."
"Zuko, that's not it, tell me,"
"Knowing you, Toph,"
"Zuko," she whispered, unshed tears of joy in her eyes. "You don't have to thank me. I should be the one to thank you, for giving me the greatest gift of all… our son,"
"Please, Toph," he said, placing his index finger on her lips. "I promise to make Rae and you happy. I won't be like Ozai. He made my mother suffer and yet she still loved him. He barely got to spend anytime with us… We were never a family. Toph, all I ever wanted was a family. Ozai was constantly putting me down and telling me how worthless I was. I believed him, but Uncle Iroh constantly told me how worthy I was. My father, he shunned my mother and me. All he cared about was imposing the Fire Nation's believes on every nation. I don't want to be like that, Toph. I want my nation to prosper, but not in the way my father wanted it to. I don't ever want to be like him. Is it too much to wish for happiness, Toph?"
"No," she said, shaking her head.
"I want a happy family… healthy, strong children that are content and proud to have me as their father… A beautiful, opinionated woman beside me, to keep me strong."
"And you will, Zuko. You already have that. Rae is so proud of you. I'm the most opinionated woman in the earth. You may be Ozai's son, but you aren't like him. You aren't him! You are Zuko… the best Fire Lord the Fire Nation has had in over a hundred years. You and the Avatar had given the people – the world – a new sense of hope. You are stronger. You fought for honor and you finally found it. You aren't nothing like him. You will have everything that you wish and dream of. I can already tell you that you are going to be an amazing father. Rae adores you and he'll make you proud."
"You think that I'll be a great father? How do you know, Toph? Ozai's blood runs through me…"
"I just know, Zuko. You also have your Uncle Iroh's and your mother's blood coursing through you. I may be blind, but there are certain things that you just know. There are things that even a blind person such as me can see. You're going to be a wonderful father, Zuko. Just have faith."
"I don't ever want to repeat the same mistakes Ozai made when he was raising Azula or me. I want to be my son's best friend; his confidant. I want to be able to have pleasant conversations with my son – and with you, Toph."
"With me?"
"Yes," he whispered. "I want you in my life too."
"Why? Why can't it be enough that you have your son, Zuko? Why add more to the mix?"
"Listen to me, please," he said, reaching for her hand. She hesitated, but let him clasp his hand around her. "Just listen to me. This isn't time to let our pride get in the way."
"I'm not prideful, that's Katara…" she said sullenly.
"This isn't about Katara, Toph. This is about you and me. There's a time for everything and now, it's time to talk about us," he said, placing his thumb under her chin and forced her to face him. "You and I are too fulsome; we can be a bit pompous and self-righteous and we get carried away, Toph. We don't want anyone to hurt us. It's better to hurt others and push them away before we are the ones that are in pain. It hurts when people lets us down. It hurts when we are rejected, doesn't it?"
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because, woman, you are constantly thinking of our son. Toph, trust me; I admire that trait in you. You place his happiness before yours… but I don't want you to forget about yourself. What do you want out of this, Toph?"
"I want to be with you," she said, unaware that the words had slipped her lips.
"Do you want to be with me? Do you want what I want? A family?"
"I don't know," she said, her usual dull eyes were glassy. "I want Rae to have a better life. I want our son to have friends, to know his father. I want him to be proud of his heritage as a Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom citizen. I want his dreams to be fulfilled. He wants to become the best firebender. He's a prodigy. He can wield blue fire, but he isn't ostentatious like your sister. He can control his emotions very well… He can be apathetic towards things and yet, he's compassionate and sympathetic towards other. He can be cold and hateful, yet he chooses to be kind and respectful. He's a great kid. His happiness is my happiness. If he's happy and striving to be the best at what he does; then that's all that I care about."
"I do too, Toph, but," he groaned. "What can I do to make you happy?"
"Why do you care about me? What's going on, Zuko?"
"Nothing, I'm curious," he said frustrated, "I care about you. I swear that I do!"
"And I care about you too. I don't know. I don't want to be one of your concubines, if that's what you are referring to,"
"No, goodness, woman, no! That's not what I meant!" he said mortified. "I meant abo- I don't have concubines. I don't believe in having more than one woman to be considered a man." He said haughtily, his chin sticking out proudly. "One is enough. You are enough to give me permanent headaches to last a lifetime."
"Whatever," Toph said, giving him a dismissive look. "I get it. So, what do you want from me?"
Zuko drew in a deep breath and moved closer to her. "I want many things out of you."
"Like?" she asked, one perfect eyebrow raised, as she waited for his answer.
"I told you last night. I want more children with you. It doesn't have to be now, but in the distant future. I want Rae, and our future boys or girls – our future children, you and me to be a family. I want all of us to go out on picnics together as a family. Read books together under the cherry blossom tree in the spring time. I want to go camping, on vacation with my sons and their mother – as a family. I want to make this work. I want- no, I need to know if you think that we could make this work… Are you onboard with this? If you are not, I understand. I don't want to force you in to anything."
"Um," she paused confused.
"We don't have to share a bed," he added.
"Oh, yeah! Like I wanted to sleep with you again," she said disappointedly.
"For now," he said quickly. "We can see where things lead us,"
"Oh," she said discomfited.
"We won't repeat the same mistake we did in the past…" he said self-consciously. "Last time we did, I ended up getting you pregnant and not knowing about it. I want more children, but that's in the distant future. In the meantime, I want to devote my time to you and Rae!"
"I got fat when I was pregnant with Rae," Toph whined.
"I bet that you looked beautiful, glowing with the knowledge that you had life growing within you," Zuko said, an image of a pregnant Toph popped in his head. "I bet that it wasn't that bad,"
"What? It wasn't that bad? I got fat and my feet were swollen for months… My bre- they got big."
"You're just exaggerating, Toph. You probably looked beautiful... and if your feet get swollen, I'll rub them for you," he said nonchalantly and looked at her chest. "And earlier, they look pretty fine to me…" he said mischievously, pointing at her breasts.
"Zuko," she said mortified and smacked him on the forehead.
"Ouch, what was that for?"
"I know what you were thinking," she chuckled, shaking her head. "I know that I'm beautiful and you want me." She said smugly.
"Well, of course, you're beautiful. Toph, you and me together, throw in a bed into the mix and we have a party," he said mischievously, playing the same game Toph was playing. Two could play that game, he thought roguishly. He was practically confessing to her and she just turned it around in to a cock-teasing game… he could handle it.
"Um," she said, her face flushed. "So, you want me?"
"Yes," He sat straight and slowly let go of her. He cleared his throat and grunted impatiently. "Toph, you, our son and I - we are one awkward – yet an oddly beautiful family, don't you think? We get along great – in or out of the covers – we get along wonderfully. We've always gotten along great. You understand me better than anyone. We know what we want for our child. You want him to grow in to a kind, respectful and compassionate adult, right?" he asked and she nodded. "I want the same things for him. Both of us know how irresponsible and unloving our parents were towards us. We know that we won't make the same mistakes as they did. We want to be happy. The war is behind us… if I'm capable of rebuilding the Fire Nation… I can rebuild the trust you had in me. I can make you and Rae happy… But I can only do it if you believe in me. So?"
"I guess, now that you put it like that, yeah. We are a strange little family."
"Toph, we are a family, nonetheless, but that's not what I asked you. You are the one stalling now,"
"I understand what you've asked me," she said, her green eyes settled on him. "This is scarier than when we faced the Fire Lord or Azula. This isn't about fighting to the end, accepting death as the ultimate sacrifice. This is entirely different, Zuko. This is unknown territory for us. The consequences- the stakes are higher. This could either make me happy or destroy me. I don't want a broken heart." She said quietly. I can't take another heartache.
"I don't want a broken heart, either." He nodded and smiled warily at her. "I don't want to break your heart."
"I do understand what you mean."
"Do you really?" he asked, arching an eyebrow. "There are sacrifices to be made… just like life."
"I know,"
"To start," he paused and stood up from the futon, his shirt falling to the floor and he began pacing. Every step that he took magnified the seismic vibrations that Toph saw in her mind. His shoulders were broad, muscular and she itched to run her hands over his skin again. "We have to try our hardest to make this work, I promise to be honest with you. You also have to put in some effort… you need to tell me what's on your mind. I won't know what's bothering you, unless you tell me, Toph." He said, tilting his head back and stared at the ceiling. "You're gonna have to trust me. I'm gonna need to hear you vent your frustration using words, not using your element to cause catastrophic damages."
"Yes, I know, you are right. Can I still use my earthbending to reprieve my frustration against Sokka by using my bending in catastrophic proportions?" she laughed.
He chuckled and inclined his head. "Yes, but only if after using your bending for catastrophic and mass punishment, you return the room or area to its original state."
"I can do that," she beamed.
He suddenly turned serious. His heartbeats were soft, calm and she felt serene with Zuko beside her. "We were best friends before we-" he trailed off. "We, um,"
"We were best friends that fucked. Gosh, Zuko, you are so annoying,"
"Well, um – if you want to use such a strong descriptive."
"Don't be such a pansy, Zuko." She teased, standing up from the futon and adjusted her dress. She had no clue how she looked, but she felt comfortable around the Fire Lord. They were intimate. He was telling her how he felt and what he wanted out of their relationship. She wanted the same things. Her heart fluttered with love at the thought of starting a family with Zuko. She sauntered over to the window and sighed. She could feel the mid-morning sun warming her skin. "There's no one around us to hear our conversation… I can cuss if I want to, and since Rae isn't here… I think that I will."
"You are brutally honest, Toph,"
"I think that if you are honest, people will not misconstrue your words. If you tell it how it is, then there won't be any misunderstanding."
"I guess that you are right." He nodded.
"I'm always right, Zuko. If we are going to be living together… you have to learn that I'm always right."
"Okay," he smiled satisfied. "You are always right, Master Toph."
"I like the sound of that." She said impishly. "See, Zuko, you learn fast."
"Since I learn fast, Toph," he paused and ambled over to the window and stood beside her, their arms touched. "How are we going to make this work? How do I make you happy?"
"By making Rae happy, Zuko," she said, turning slightly to show the Fire Lord her face. Zuko looked down at her and idly tucked a stray hair behind her ear. She turned around, but he reached for her elbow and spun her around and slowly began to tie the laces of her dress. Toph held her breath when his hands were closed to her breast. He didn't inch his hand to touch her. He wanted to be respectful towards her. If their destiny was to be together, he wasn't going to rush things. He wanted to take his time with her. Zuko gently clutched her cheek in the palm of his hand.
"I can make Rae happy," Zuko muttered.
"I want-" she trailed off, unable to articulate the rest of her sentence. Zuko leaned closer; she felt his hot breath close to her lips. She couldn't move, her heart leaped in her chest and hammered away with excitement.
"Tell me, Toph. I need words. Tell me," he sighed heavily, as he gingerly kissed the corner of her lips. She tried to breath, but the air was caught in her lungs, "what do you truly want? I know that you want Rae's happiness and so do I, but what about your happiness? What can I do to make you happy?" he said, showering soft kisses on her cheek, temple, jaw line, and neck. "Tell me," he said in his husky voice.
"T-treat m-my- our son with l-love," she stuttered, her eyes were closed and she was finally able to breath.
"I already love him, Toph," he said, nibbling on her earlobe. "I'm so proud of my son. Now, Toph, tell me, what else I can do to make you happy?"
"Don't let anyone harm him." She gulped; her arms automatically snaked around his neck and pressed her chest to his.
"I'll never let anyone hurt him." He said, as he rocked them; one hand rested on her waist and the other clutched the side of her face firmly.
"Good," she mumbled, as he rocked her to the rhythm of his heartbeats.
"Anything else?" he said sensually against her ear. Her flesh tingled and her insides were melting with the heat of his proximity.
"N-no," she breathed. "What about you? What do you want me to do? How can I help make this arrangement better? How do we make this work?" She asked, opening her eyes, and rested the palm of her hands on his chest. The seismic vibrations around her painted a beautiful picture of Zuko's body, but she couldn't see his facial expression. She would've loved to see the image of the Fire Lord in her mind, but by the rapid cadence of his heart beats and the ragged, forced breathing that came from him, she knew that he was thinking the same thing as her.
"I don't know… there are many ways…." He said hesitantly, as he placed his large hand over Toph's shoulder. "There are many ways to make this work, Toph."
"Like fucking you?" she asked, taking a step back, but he held her firmly against him.
"Would being intimate with me be so bad?"
"Zuko,"
"Do you really hate me?" he asked, slowly releasing her.
"What?"
"That was the last thing you told me when you left the Fire Nation." He said dejectedly. "You said that you hated me,"
"Hate you? No!" she said alarmed and placed a hand on his upper arm. "I don't hate you. I'm not particularly fond of how I feel about you, Zuko, but I don't hate you." She said quickly, blinking hard as she tried to understand what had killed the mood.
"But you don't specifically like me, right?" He asked, wounding his arm around her waist and brought her close to his chest.
"I don't understand what you are trying to ask me." She tried to calm down, but she was flustered. Zuko's arms around her, the heat of his body, the knowledge that there were plenty of futons in which they could – No! No! This wasn't the moment or the place. They needed to talk about their future life together. This wasn't the moment to think about kisses, touches, lovemaking, and all the wonderful things that can transpire between a man and a woman.
"Oh," he said marred. "I thought that you were going to answer differently."
"Why so discomforted?" she asked intrigued, a little flame of hoped burned dimly in her soul.
"I feel wounded," he choked. "I didn't- so, you don't… um, you do not like how you feel about me?"
"Do you care to elaborate?" she asked her forehead creasing. Her lips were pursed together in a tight, grim expression.
"I guess, I had the wrong idea," he said mournfully, moving away from her and flopped down on the futon and settled his hands on his lap.
"What are you talking about? What wrong idea?" She asked frustrated and sat across from him. "I don't understand what you are trying to do here, Zuko! It's frustrating trying to read in to your actions." She said irritated and nudged him.
"Toph," he said upset. "I feel… I'm attracted to you." He said flatly. "I don't know what it is… but I've always felt like this towards you. I tried to tell myself that it was wrong. You are four years younger than me, and back then, you were my greatest friend and I didn't dare to tell you this. You wouldn't understand. I also had Mai to think about," He said, his words coming out fast.
"Don't mention her," she said angrily.
"She was my betrothed and I forced you to be there when I asked her hand in marriage. I feel like such a douche," he continued talking. "And during all that time, I couldn't understand why I needed you beside me. I thought that it was okay to feel that way. I didn't know that I was being selfish. You were always beside me... never asking for anything in return... but then you left and I missed you. I missed you so much. I thought that you abandoned me. I'm used to people leaving me. It hurt to think that you also left me, though. It hurt more than losing my mother. And now you are here... with me. I can't contain or even control myself and I just want to kiss and touch you all the time." So he felt physically attracted to her? Did he also care for her? "It's not just physical, Toph. I truly care about you. A lot!" Maybe wanted to be more than friends? "I want to be more than friends… all in its due time. It's scary. It's so scary to tell you this."
"I bet," she said sardonically.
"Don't mock me, Toph! I'm being honest here. I want, no I need, – I need to know if you are willing – if we can try to be a couple… we can be together… we can make this work! Damn it! We can do this! Don't think about it. Let's just do it. Let's be spontaneous, what do you think?" he asked aggravated. "Let's be spontaneous."
"Together? Are you crazy? Why would you tell me not to think about this, to be spontaneous? This is serious, Fire Lord! This could hurt our son! This could hurt me…" she said, shaking her head and punching his arm. "You are selfish. How can you ask me this? Don't you know, Zuko? How could you!" she screamed angrily at him, throwing the pillow at his face.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know that the idea of being together with me was so appalling. Is it my scar?" he asked gloomily, touching the left side of his face, where the scar his father had given him during their Agni Kai rested. "I do look disgusting."
"What are you talking about?" she asked alarmed. "I can't see! In case you don't remember or forgot, idiot, I don't make decisions based on someone's look. I can only perceive images of a person's build and height, not on how they look! I don't know how I loved you so long!" she said angrily and began pacing around the room, moving her hand as she continued rambling on. "You are so stupid! I only saw your good qualities, your kindness, strength, resilience, and will to change and become a better person; it wasn't because I fell in love with your looks! You are truly the blind one here, Zuko!" she said marching towards the door. "I'm getting out of here."
"Toph, wait!" Zuko quickly got to his feet and in two strides he caught up with her. His arms circled her waist and brought her close to him, until her back rested firmly against his naked chest. "Wait, Toph," he said, his voice quivered with the uncertainty of the moment. "What do you mean? Do you love me? When did you fall in love with me? And you can't go. You look messy… like someone took their time to make love to you." He grinned. "Except that I didn't."
"Shut up! Let go of me!" she complained, but didn't move. He buried his face on the crook of her neck and inhaled her perfume. "Let me go. Don't make me hurt you!"
"Is that what you want to do? Hurt me?"
"Let go, idiot,"
"Do you really want me to let you go?"
"Don't patronize me! Let go of me, and stop trying to manipulate me," she said angrily.
"I'm not trying to patronize you or manipulate you. You are the one that has me wrapped around your fingers. You kiss me, shamelessly flirt with me and then act aloof. I don't know what the hell it is that you want with me. You've stole kisses from me and expect me not to feel anything... What game are you playing, Ms. Bei Fong?" He said sweetly. "I don't know when or what you did to me, Toph," he exhaled loudly, "but you are using me. You are shamelessly playing with me and what's worst is that you know that you can get away with it. You've always been good at mind games."
"I don't know what you are talking about," she said, relaxing in his embrace. "I've never played with your emotions..."
"Yes, you have. You asked me earlier if Katara was the only one that suffered when you departed the Fire Nation," he paused. "But no, she wasn't the only person… We all suffered... But I missed you the most. Katara had Aang and her brother. Suki had Sokka. Haru had my sister,"
"How did that happened?"
"I don't know," Zuko shrugged. "It beats me. But that's beside the point," he said, his voice dropping. "When you left I had no one,"
"You had Mai,"
"Mai had herself," he said bitterly. "She was just there... She was emotionless - frigid. I was alone... again. When you left, something inside of me died. My life didn't have any meaning… it lacked something. I thought for so long that if I loved Mai then things would change, but they didn't. She wasn't my happiness," he stopped, holding on to her tightly. "I didn't enjoy reading books near the Weeping Willows, the pond or under the Cherry Blossoms. Things became tedious... life was empty. Mai wasn't the answer. I did cared for her,"
"Don't talk about her. I don't want to hear her name again." she screamed. "I don't want to know how much you loved her and-"
"For the grace of Agni," he spat. "Let me finish!"
"No! I don't want to hear this!" She raised her voice and covered her ears. She knew that she was acting childishly, but this was the only way she knew how not to get hurt.
"She's in the past... This is my future. Stay with me, Toph," he whispered, crossing his arms over her chest and pinned her to him. "I'll make you happy. I'll do anything I can to see you smile. I've never truly seen you smile happily."
"It's not important if I can smile or not," she said sadly, pushing him away.
"It is important to me and I bet that it is important to Rae." Zuko said frustrated, smoke was coming from his clenched fists. He inhaled and exhaled several times, trying to keep his cool. "You are important to me, Toph. You've always been important to me."
"Liar! You never cared about me. I was only a friend to you. That's all I'll ever be to you." She shook her head and covered her face with her hands. "You just pity me. Everyone pities me, because I'm blind!"
"Damn it, Toph, all this time, I've been trying to tell you how I feel!"
"Fine, so you feel something for me! And what if that feeling is only due to the fact that we are far away from the Fire Nation and you are lonely? What if you just feel nostalgic and like the way it feels to have your 'best friend' beside you again? What if you can't make me happy? What if we don't work and we end up hating each other? We'll end up shattering his little heart. I can't do this to Rae. When I had Rae, I told myself that I would only live to make him happy, Zuko. This won't work!"
"Toph, stop being so negative," he shouted. "We can make this work. Just be positive for once in your life! Your promises to our son won't go unfulfilled. We'll make Rae the happiest little kid in the world. He'll have so much love, that'll be spoiled rotten," Zuko said, slowly touching her shoulder and turned her around and looked down into her eyes. "We can make this work. We can make this work. Have faith," he whispered the last word, and leaned his forehead until it touched hers.
"How?" she whispered. "How do you plan to do it? When did you turned so positive, Zuko?"
"Earlier this morning when I saw you in that beautiful dress." He smiled.
"Zuko,"
"I'm going to," he paused, cupping her chin with his hand and forced her to face him. "I'm going to prove that you and I have so much in common. This morning," he said, raining kisses on her face, "when I kissed you… there was… sparks. I could feel them and I bet my nation, that you felt them too, Toph. And then later, we kissed, I touched you, you touched me… we have the sparks to start something wonderful. We feel something towards each other."
"I," she paused. "You've always been a dreamer."
"No. I'm realistic. You know it too, Toph. We have chemistry. We always did. You know it. I know it. Why don't we give this a try? What's life if we don't live it; if we don't take risks?"
"Chemistry isn't enough to make a child's life a happy one, Zuko," she said, her voice trembling. Her eyes were closed, but she was letting go of her inhibitions. "It's not enough," she muttered, before his lips molded perfectly with hers.
His lips were warm, malleable, sweet and oh so tender. Her breath was hitched, and her fingers sank in to the softness of his hair. She could swear that she heard the Fire Lord moan, or maybe it was her. Yes, it had to be her. She still tingled inside from their previous encounter. She was losing control; his touch was pushing her over the edge. Soon, she would be falling down a precipice and she didn't know what to do. Zuko had always been able to break down her walls. He was able to see deep in to her soul and she hated it. It bothered her that he could easily disarm her with just a kiss, a touch or a word. He had control over her reticence and that was never good. Her passion for him never led her down a path of righteousness. Zuko was wicked and he knew it.
"I'd forgotten how soft your lips are," he mumbled against her lips. She moaned in to his mouth, the sound of her desire drove him wild. "Stay with me, Toph."
"No," she whined, holding his neck tightly, keeping his head steady. He gnawed at her bottom lip, savoring her, tasting her and enjoying her. She was delectable. His memories, mixed with the recollection of their previous kisses weren't enough. Kissing Toph was better than anything in the world.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asked, as he deepened the kiss.
"Shut up, Zuko," she said desperately, pulling him closer to her. He tangled his fingers through her hair and brought her face closer.
He couldn't deny her anything. She had control over him. He was at her mercy and for once, he didn't care. He just wanted to feel. He needed this for so long. Toph departure left him empty. She'd taken something from within him when she left the Fire Nation. It must have been part of his heart… because when she was no longer near him, the sky turned gray. The nights were too dark, even if the moon was out. Life didn't matter. He just went on living, because he had responsibilities. Today, in that instant and in that moment, he understood perfectly: he wanted – no, he needed her.
When he broke the kiss, he grinned, when he saw her satisfied expression. "We have plenty of chemistry to make this work, Toph," he said, whispering near her ear. She gulped and nodded. "It was chemistry or destiny… whatever it was… it brought us together that night."
"That was a mistake," she said sadly. "We should've never-"
"I never considered it a mistake," he professed, kissing her nose. " I'm grateful for that night. I still think about it. "
"You do?" She asked incredulous.
"Yeah," he confessed. "I won't deny it. When I'm with you all I think about is kissing your lips." He said, his cheeks growing hot with mortification. They'd almost done it and now they've shared a deep and meaningful kiss, but he still felt embarrassed. It took more spirit to kiss this woman, than guts to face his sister Azula for an Agni Kai. Toph could easily destroy you, but thankfully, the Toph in his arms wasn't showing any signs of resistance or that she wanted to hurt him. She kissed him hungrily and she tasted like heaven. This was a positive sign. She was mulling over his words.
"I don't think this is right," she said, shaking her head.
"It's perfectly right," he chuckled, his husky voice sent shivers down her spine.
"No, we shouldn't kiss and we shouldn't touch like we did earlier. It leads to situations that would complicate our… relationship or lack of relationship," she said, finally analyzing the situation. "We should take our time."
"Then, Toph, are you saying that you want to take this further… see where it might lead?" he asked sensually and rested his hands on each sides of her hips.
"Idiot, you know where this might lead if we go further," she said acrimoniously.
"I don't mean sexually," he sighed bothered. "I meant… I was talking about us taking this relationship further. See where it takes us. We have much in common. We should explore the possibilities. What do you think we should do? If you don't want to go to the Fire Nation, then you don't have to. I'll come and visit you and Rae at Song village. If you don't want to risk it being with me, Toph, you don't have to. I do not want to force you. I would never force you in to doing anything that you don't want. I won't make you do anything that you don't feel comfortable with. I'll never force."
"I, um, I just found you again, Zuko. I don't want to be away from you - Rae wouldn't bear to be away from you," she muttered, lowering her head. This was too sudden, but one thing was true. She loved the way her lips molded perfectly to his. She enjoyed the way his body left her feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. She couldn't describe it, but a silent voice in her head was urging her to agree. Life was about taking chances; seizing the moment. "I'll give this a chance. I'll explore the possibilities with you… but the moment that I feel that it's too much… I want out. I don't want to continue. Promise me that you'll respect my decision."
"I promise, Toph." He laughed merrily. His arms fell to his side. She felt empty without his touch. He took a few steps back and regarded her with his amber eyes. "I have to go now,"
"Where are you going?" she asked confused.
"I have to make preparations; make plans,"
"Plans?" she asked.
"Yes," he nodded. "Before I go, Toph… Do you really want to move to the Fire Nation with me? This will be my last time asking you," he asked, knitting his eyebrows together.
"Yes," she nodded. "I think that it is the right thing to do… for the sake of our son." She said, reverting to her aloof self. "And for our impromptu relationship."
"Then it's decided." He said business-like. "We'll be leaving to the Fire Nation early tomorrow. I suggest that you pack Rae's and your belongings tonight, Toph, and rest. Don't worry about our friends. I'll take care of them."
"Why so early? I still have things to do,"
"We'll be leaving early in the morning, so you don't have time to change your mind." He smiled devilish. "I'm not letting you back down… I'm looking forward to our impromptu relationship, Ms. Bei Fong," He said smugly, walking over to her, and kissed her hard on the lips and slowly let her go. Her eyes were closed and he could tell that she was enjoying their make out sessions. "I'll send a maid to fix your hair and make you look presentable for lunch. I will see you later." He said casually before he took his leave.
"Wait, Zuko!" she yelled after him, but the door was already closed and he was already gone. And with that, Zuko left the mighty earthbender suffused with a lingering feeling of uncertainty and vagueness. How did she get herself in to this?
Zuko hurried down the hall, touching his lips and placing a hand over his heart. Had this truly happen? Had he kissed the world most powerful earthbender? He ambled down the steps, until he reached the front desk of the inn.
"How did it go?" Ran, the innkeeper asked, as he cleared the scattered papers off the desk. "Did the young lady accept your marriage proposal?"
"No, I didn't even ask her properly. It was too soon. But I must say that it went very well," Zuko said impishly, leaning over the counter that separated the lobby and the office. "Pretty darn well." He said satisfied, his amber eyes shining with a hint of mischievousness. "Do you have what I asked you earlier?"
"Of course, my lord, you didn't finish it all," the innkeeper said and bent down to pull out a pitcher filled with iced cold alcohol. "Here," he said, handing Zuko the pitcher. Zuko yanked it out of the old man's shaky hand and guzzled the alcohol straight from the pitcher. He didn't care for decorum. He wasn't in the Fire Nation. No one knew who he was. He was parched, nervous, and so excited.
"Thank you," Zuko said politely, cleaning his mouth with his sleeve. "I needed this."
"You are welcome," the old innkeeper said and smiled at the young man.
"Damn," he said, breathing heavily. "She is gonna be the death of me." He chuckled, remembering Toph's passion-filled face as he left her room. "It's gonna be tougher than I thought. But it's worth it!" He smiled at the innkeeper and walked away, giving one last look at the steps he'd come down from.