Chapter 10 :

The tears were freezing on her cheeks but it didn't stop her sobbing as Effie crawled under the hole in the fence. She had made sure to wipe off the snow with her jacket to cover her trail, she had made sure she had left nothing in the first house she had crashed in before staying with Haymitch, she had made sure…

The tears were freezing on her cheeks and she was helpless to stop them. It was as bad as the day she had to leave everything behind, as bad as escaping her parents' estate, as bad as throwing her wig in the trash and climbing on a train to hell, as bad as stealing for the first time…

She was relieved to reach the woods because she wouldn't need to wipe off her footsteps anymore. She slipped the heavy black jacket on and breathed the fabric in but it didn't smell like Haymitch. It smelt like dust. She retrieved the fisherman coat from where she had hid it, in fear it would be found, and put it in her backpack before heading north. Moving was good. Moving would help her stop thinking. She had to find the cabin Everdeen had mentioned, she would take the crossbow he had so kindly offered, it would be a better weapon than the knife. She didn't think she could stab anyone again.

Except moving didn't help her at all. She couldn't stop thinking. She just… couldn't. She thought about her parents and Domi… She thought about letting her guard down so stupidly… She thought about how she and Haymitch used to sit in front of the fire most nights and just… talk. She thought about the way he would freeze sometimes, in mid-laugh, as if he wasn't accustomed to joy anymore. She thought about how it was so unfair that they didn't get more time… She thought about the Peacekeepers tearing the District apart to find her. She thought about what they would do if they did. She thought about missing her mother's stern but caring looks and her father's hugs. She thought about gossiping with Domi until the early hours of the morning. She thought about sleeping snuggled against Haymitch and feeling safe. She thought about missing them all so dearly.

By the time she reached the meadow, night had fallen. However, from there, it wasn't difficult to find the lake and the little cabin. She stumbled upon it by chance more than any talent at tracking but she figured she was due for a little help from fate. Fate had been a fickle bitch recently.

It wasn't much warmer inside the cabin than outside. It was small, a coat on the ground, a table, two chairs, a bow propped up against a wall. She found candles but she didn't dare light them with the Peacekeepers so close. What if they decided to look for her in the woods? Wouldn't it be safer for her to leave now? To put as much distance as she could between her and Twelve regardless of how cold it was at night?

She found the crossbow hanging from a nail on the wall. It was heavier than she thought and she wasn't actually sure of how it worked. She struggled with it for some time, trying to load it, the moonlight made for poor lighting and didn't help her much. Once the bolt was in place, it didn't look as hard to use. All you had to do was aim and press the trigger.

She sat on the coat and rubbed her face. She was tired. So, so very tired. The idea of starting to run again, of fearing for her life at every turn…

The prospect of waiting there for the storm to clear before heading back to Haymitch's was more tempting than trekking through the woods in hope of reaching a District that might or might not still stand.

Go to Thirteen, her father voice reminded her in her head, You will be safe there. You're a clever, girl, Effie, you can do it. Could she? Could she really? Haymitch didn't think so. He thought it would be suicide. And, to be very honest, she kind of thought the same thing. Hiding in a District and sneaking on and off trains was one thing, but surviving in the wild was another entirely. It would be like being thrust in an arena of her own making.

Don't trust anyone. Run and never look back.

She laughed out loud when she recalled her father's last advice but it soon turned to sobs. Run and never look back. How did you stop yourself from looking back ? Was there a trick? A secret? Because she sure as hell couldn't stop looking back to her family and the Capitol and she was certain she would look back to Twelve and Haymitch for a long time to come.

How long did she sit there, crying her eyes out? She didn't know. She felt so utterly alone, it was killing her. What was the point of running if you left everyone behind? What was the point of even being alive if you were doomed to remain alone? The silence, in the cabin, was deafening. She drifted off a little at some point, exhausted by all her weeping, but she didn't actually fall asleep. She could never sleep knowing people were out there thirsty for her blood.

She felt the change more than she heard it. She couldn't pinpoint what was wrong exactly but one second she was nodding off, the next, she was on her feet, crossbow aimed at the closed door. Her heart was racing, she could feel adrenaline pumping through her veins. What had alerted her? The crunching of boots on snow? Eyes wide, she watched as the door handle turned slowly. Her hands were shaking, her breathing sounded loud in the small cabin… When the door swung open, she closed her eyes and pressed the trigger. How many were they? How long had she left to live?

"You know, sweetheart, I lost count of the number of times you tried to kill me."

Her eyes opened wide and she stared at the figure standing on the doorstep, utterly confused. Haymitch, wrapped in a leather jacket and another bag on his back, was staring at the bolt that was sticking out of the wall a good ten inches away from the door she was initially aiming at.

"I think it's best if you leave the crossbow to me." he winced. "Somehow, I feel like you will end up shooting me in the ass."

"Haymitch." she breathed out at last.

"Hello, princess." he smirked. "Missed me?"

She tossed the crossbow on the table before throwing herself at him. He stumbled back and they ended up falling in the snow outside but she didn't mind. She didn't mind one bit. And he didn't mind either because he was laughing and, then, his hands framed her face and he was kissing her and it was nothing like their last kiss. It was short but slow. It was a kiss that promised many more and her heart was hammering so hard she could have sworn it would beat right out of her chest.

"You said it was suicide." she reminded him, against his lips. "You said…"

"Yeah, I know." He kissed her again, just a peck really but it still made her toes curl. "And then I figured suicide was the theme of the day."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

He sighed and got to his feet before helping her to do the same. "I can explain everything but we need to move now, we can't wait until morning. The furthest we are when they realize I'm gone, the better."

She gripped his forearms. "Are you really coming with me?" He was. He obviously was. He had a bag, he was dressed for snowy weather and he had come for her, hadn't he? But she couldn't believe it. She couldn't…

"Well, I went to all the trouble to pack, didn't I?" he shrugged. "Would be a shame to turn back now."

She felt tears burning her eyes for entirely different reasons. She locked a hand behind his neck and pulled until their faces were on the same level and she could kiss him more easily. With her usual heels they would be roughly the same height but without them he was taller. That kiss was neither sweet nor chaste. It was hot and almost violent. When he pushed her against the cabin outer wall and pressed against her, she couldn't help a moan.

"Ok." he panted, against her neck. "Ok. We don't have time for that." He pressed a kiss against the side of her neck and winced. "See, just when I think I can't hate them more, I find new reasons…" His joke made her chuckle and he smiled softly at her. She couldn't see his features well in the semi-darkness but she knew the expression on his face was one of love and she stroke his cheek, feeling so stupidly happy when she had been so desperate a few minutes earlier. "Effie, there's every chance they will come after me. Me being with you is a bigger risk for you to get caught, are you sure you want me to come?"

He was serious, his face had grown darker and the smile had disappeared from his mouth.

"With all my heart." she replied.

He snorted. "Using your head would be better in this kind of situation, sweetheart."

Don't trust anyone. Run and never look back. Well, she trusted Haymitch, now, there was no coming back from that. As for looking back… If he was with her, there was nothing to look back to. The Capitol was too far away for her to regret it now.

"My head says to listen to my heart." she retorted.

"Stupid head." It was affectionate and he didn't really mean it so she refrained from launching herself in a lecture.

"Point five still remains." She pushed him back a little, so she could step back into the cabin and get her bag. "You're rude." She handed him the crossbow because he was right and he would probably put it to better use than her.

"I like the fourth point better." he said, effortlessly loading the crossbow and swinging the quiver full of bolts on his shoulder.

"Remind me what the fourth was, again?" She closed the cabin door behind them. It was cold outside but not as much as the day she had arrived in Twelve, and the jacket was thick enough that it wasn't unbearable.

"Me being so handsome you couldn't think straight." He started right off the cabin and she followed, happy to let him lead. She was actually relieved not to have to worry about stars or the position of the sun or more generally getting lost.

"I don't think I expressed it quite that way." she smiled.

"That's because you couldn't think straight, sweetheart." he teased her.

Trekking through woods covered with snow at night wasn't the easiest thing she had ever done. They moved slowly because they had to be careful about not stumbling and breaking something. He finally explained that he had left a fake suicide note behind, saying he was going to off himself in the woods – in hope that Everdeen would be the one to find it and would know to say he actually had been depressed rather than ill. He wasn't convinced that it would keep Peacekeepers from running after him as soon as his letter would be discovered, all the more so when they'd fail to find a body, but he was hoping they would believe it in the end and get tired of trying to find him.

"But what made you change your mind?" she asked, as he helped her climb a boulder.

He looked at her then and it was really impractical because she wanted to kiss him again but there was no room for that kind of activities when you were afraid of tumbling back down from a stupid rock if you let go of the tree to your left for even a second.

"I found something worth running for, I guess." he shrugged.

"You really are a soppy man." she laughed as they carefully climbed down the other side of the boulder.

"Who says I'm talking about you?" he denied, but he didn't let go of her hand either. "Maybe I just like chasing ghost Districts."

"Maybe." She squeezed his hand and he squeezed back.

They stayed mostly silent after that. When dawn finally came, they were both exhausted but they kept going north only taking short breaks. They stopped by late afternoon but Effie could see Haymitch wasn't pleased with the distance they had traveled. It didn't make any difference, really, she was so tired she didn't think she could take another step. They had not found any shelter either but the wind had died down and Haymitch had said they would probably be fine. She snuggled against him and fell asleep in a matter of seconds. When he woke her up, claiming it was her turn to keep watch, night was clearly halfway through.

It was hard not to fall back asleep, harder still not to let her mind wander to unpleasant memories given that she had nothing else to do but think. Haymitch's soft snores filled the silence. She counted them. It was a way to not let the nightmares creep back on her even if she was awake. She was getting cold and really uncomfortable when a familiar noise growled into the air.

"Haymitch." She only had to shake him once before he was up on his feet, a knife in his hand, his eyes roaming their surroundings to find enemies. He was still half asleep, she was sure. "Haymitch, it's…"

"Hovercraft." he said, looking up at the sky that was beginning to lighten up.

Yeah, I know, mean cliffy. ^^ Let me know your thoughts!

As some of you may know if you follow my other stories, I will be away this week for a competitive exam. I will try to update Running next Sunday as usual but I am not making any promises. It will entirely depend on if we get time to beta-read it or not =)