a/n Tessa is from Fade to Black.

What if Tessa had never been signed by WWE?

-June 9, 2014; Tokyo, Japan-

"Is that all of your stuff?"

The question comes as a shock, cutting through the silence Tessa has become used to. She's spent the past few hours packing suitcases and boxes in nothing but complete silence and to have it broken only reinforces the situation she is in.

"If I've left anything I'm sure it will get to me," Tessa responds quietly before biting into her lip as she looks through to the apartment's main living area. Nearly 18 months of her life has been spent in this apartment and she isn't quite sure how to get out without crying.

"If you need to cry, you can cry," Alex offers though it is forced and he obviously wishes that she wouldn't. Tessa knows it, having been friends with him for years, and blinks back the tears that have started to form.

"Thank you for letting me stay with you, Lex," she says, trying to keep a conversation going so that she won't have to think too much about how she is leaving the apartment for the last time. "I'm sorry if I'm going to make it weird. If you want to have him over I'll just go to Arisa's place-"

"It's fine, Tess," he says, reaching out to rub a hand across her upper back. "We'll sort that out when we get to it."

It's not often they drive through Tokyo but Tessa is grateful this time around. The last thing she wants is to have to explain to a taxi driver why she is carting boxes and suitcases through the city – even less so because she knows that the language barrier will only make the conversation harder. Even after a relationship that was nearly 3 years long Tessa was only able to understand Japanese – speaking it was not something she could ever have been able to grasp. No matter how hard she tries, foreign languages are something she cannot get her tongue around.

"It hurts. A lot," she says suddenly, sucking in a sharp breath.

Alex looks at her briefly, nodding and speaking sadly, "Yeah, it does."

"No words of advice?" she asks, looking at her friend with tears forming in her eyes. "I mean, you and Mollie... You're practically an expert in the field of being dumped."

"Hey," Alex scolds playfully, "she's pregnant right now so no making those jokes at me. That's the last thing I need. And my only advice would be to go and get drunk but I know you won't do that."

Tessa sighs, "The last time this happened I came here. Maybe I should disappear to Europe somewhere."

"No," he says sternly and Tessa looks down to her lap. "You're going to stay here, work and get over it like a normal human being."

"I'm still not over the last one," she admits in a whisper. Alex's deep breath beside her doesn't at all help how she is feeling. He pities her and she isn't opposed to that – with everything that has happened pity is unavoidable – but it only serves to remind her how much she has lost.

"Last time was under completely different circumstances – this time will be different, I promise."

Tessa can only hope that he's right. If he isn't she is sure that there are a few promotions in the United Kingdom that would be happy to have her.

They have just made it to Alex's apartment building when he starts another conversation, one that she has been expecting for a few days – maybe even weeks.

"I'm gonna meet up with some of the guys from The 'E. Wanna come?"

She acts like she hasn't been thinking about it. Thinking about who would be there. She knows the answer but she plays dumb: "Who's going?"

"Not sure, but it'll be good for you to get out. You can't wallow in self pity forever."

"I think that sounds like a good plan," she tells him with a falsely happy smile.

"Great!" He exclaims, lighting up. "Let's go!"

"No," she shakes her head, causing him to pause in the doorway, "the wallowing part."

"Tess," Alex says sternly and Tessa shrugs at him, sitting down in front of the television.

She looks back at him and pouts, ""What if both of them are there? And Yujiro?"

"Fine," he sighs, knowing that if he pushed it would only end badly. "Be that way. I'll be back later."

It's not late when Tessa hears the front door open but it's late enough that she's sitting in her new bed, searching through her Twitter timeline. It's dumb, really, the concept of telling the whole world what you're up to every hour of the day but in the month that she's had it she has barely put it down.

By the time she hears the other voices she is already out of her bed, ready to ask Alex about everybody. Even if she hasn't seen most of them in years, she still likes to make sure they are doing well. One voice she isn't too surprise to hear, it's the other one that sends her hightailing back into the bedroom.

Alex appears in the doorway with an innocent smile on his face, clearly unaware that Tessa knows who is in the apartment.

"What are they doing here?!" Tessa asks frantically, trying to keep hidden from the men in the living area.

Alex is taken aback and when he speaks he does so hesitantly, "They wanted to come see the place? They wanted to come see you, actually. Come on, it's just PAC and Generico."

"No way did Rami want to see me," Tessa argues, her chest starting to heave at the thought. "What are you trying to pull?"

"Get out there before they realise that you're arguing with me about this." He continues in a deadpan, "You'll hurt their feelings."

Tessa huffs as she glares at him. Of course he gets his way. Few people can beat Alex Shelley in a standoff and certainly Tessa Scobille is not one of them.

PAC sees her first and jumps into the air before striding towards her with open arms. She meets him halfway and hugs him to make up for all the ones she hasn't been able to give him since he left.

"It's great to see you, Tessa," he says into her hair and Tessa just squeezes him tighter.

"What are you thinking – bringing him back here?" She asks quietly, trying to delay pulling away from the hug and having to look at Rami.

"It was his idea," PAC tells her. "I tried to talk him out of it but he was set on it."

Tessa squeezes him one last time before stepping back and looking over his shoulder. Rami is standing beside Alex, having a quiet conversation but he is looking right at her.

She doesn't know what to do – how does one greet someone whose life she ruined? – so she lifts her right hand in a pathetic wave. He frowns at the gesture momentarily before copying it, almost mocking her, and Tessa feels her heart fall into her stomach.

"Who wants tea?" Alex asks and three heads snap to look at him. "Jasmine, okay? Or, I might have something in a tea bag for you, PAC."

"That'd be great, mate, thanks." PAC speaks too loudly for the small space and the thick air, jolting Tessa back into reality.

She keeps her eyes trained on Alex as she follows him into the kitchen, set on helping him with the tea.

"A wave? It's been, what? Five years? And the best you can do is a wave?"

The question makes Tessa gasp and her hand fly to her mouth as she starts to cry. It surprises both of them. Tessa isn't sure she can stop.

She sobs, "It all hurts so much."

Alex freezes for half a second before extending his arms and pulling Tessa to his chest. He doesn't really know how to deal with crying but past experience proves that Tessa responds best to hugs.

Tessa knows that they have been standing there for awhile because someone comes to stand in the door way – probably wondering what is taking so long. Alex lifts his head to look at them and almost immediately after, Tessa finds herself being transferred into the other person's arms.

They're so familiar even though she can't remember the last time she felt them around her and it only serves to increase her sobbing.

"Hey, hey, habibti," Rami soothes, "I didn't want to upset you. I just wanted to see you. I'm sorry."

She doesn't understand why he's apologising. After everything that happened between them – the way their relationship ended – she should be the one apologising. But of course he is. In her entire life she has never met someone so genuinely kind and it breaks her heart every time she remembers how badly she broke his.

"I'm sorry," she says, choking on her sob. "I don't want to be crying I just – I can't stop. I don't know what else to do."

"It's how you deal with things," he says quietly, rubbing circles over her back. "You can cry as much as you want. It's been a long day."

Alex has told him about her break up with Yujiro, about her moving out of his apartment that morning. Part of her thinks she should thank Alex, another part thinks that she needs to remind him that her personal life isn't for public consumption.

Rami's arms loosen around her and soon he's pushing her away lightly and cupping her face in his hands, using his thumbs to wipe her tears from her cheeks.

Tessa can't help what she says next - it's been a long time coming and she's felt it every single day since she last saw him.

"I miss you," she breathes. "I am never not missing you and I think that's why Yujiro broke up with me because I can't get over you."

"Tessa, you don't need to-"

"I do," she interrupts, pulling backwards and away from him. "I will never be able to apologise enough for what I did and I don't think you'll ever understand how horrible I always felt. I know that if I say I never meant to hurt you it'll mean next to nothing - but it's the truth. You were it for me and I shot that all to hell because I was too afraid to tell anybody what was happening."

"What were you afraid to tell us? Why were you afraid to tell me anything, Tessa?"

"Your place in Ring of Honor was on the line, how could I do that to you? To Jimmy? To Colby? Then I started sleeping with him, too, and I just... I made so, so many mistakes and if I could take them all back I would. You need to know that."

Rami frowns at her, taking in what she has said. It's all new to him. Alex has shared what he knows but Tessa hadn't opened up to him entirely because she knew that everything was being relayed back to the United States. What Rami knows is that Tessa hasn't been the same since she left, but as far as he knew she had moved on.

"Hey, hey, it's all over now, habibti. It's all over now."

Tessa blinks up at him slowly, her chest having returned to a normal state of rising and falling.

"Come to the live show tomorrow," Rami says with a nod. "We'll get Alex backstage, too, and you can run amok."

"Why?" She asks him uncontrollably, her brow furrowing. "Why would want to me anywhere near me?"

"Because I miss you, too."

a/n thoughts? I have two other Tessa-related AU scenarios if you would like to read them as well let me know!