Crossroads

Tenderness

Breakfast had been very interesting. Zuko was glad he'd spoken up and defended Toph from her parents. He'd been irritated at all the nonsense he was hearing. Toph was put on the spot and he didn't like the expression on her face. She looked like a little girl being chastised. He'd sympathized with her. His own father had made many critical and cutting remarks about him while in the company of strangers. He had to put his foot down; he'd to interfere. His actions had earned him a sweet kiss on the lips from her.

Since early that morning, Zuko had been replaying the kiss. He felt his own cheeks grow warm with a hint of embarrassment. He shook his head. For a moment, he felt like a teenager. The exuberance of the early stages of love was getting to him. He couldn't help smiling. Toph did things to him that no one could. Her presence filled him with happiness. She knew him well- perhaps that's why he felt so at ease being around the young earthbender. She wasn't afraid to set him straight whenever he strayed. She also knew how to say the right words to make him forget his past and he truly loved her.

"Toph," he whispered, shaking his head, smiling mischievously, as he walk down the brick threshold that lead to the Bei Fong's arboretum.

It was a bright morning. The sun shone down, but it was still cool. He scanned the area, trying to find the largest tree with the best shade. He wandered through the gardens, coming across acres upon acres of beautiful and vibrant colored plants and trees. Soon the leaves would fall, indicating fall. He sighed in despair. Soon they would be leaving Gaoling to continue with the search of his mother's trail.

"Mother," he sighed solemnly.

The memory of his mother's face was hazy. He barely could recall the sound of her voice calling out his name. He knew that she was alive. Something deep inside his heart told him so. His father had been useless in telling him where he could find her. Numerous times, he'd tried reasoning with him, but every time he came up empty handed.

He tried to focus on something else. Trying to understand his mother's whereabouts was driving him insane. Zuko decided that he needed to meditate. Yes, that was the correct thing to do. Many years earlier, Aang had been patient enough to teach him how to release his inner chakras. It was time to find inner peace. Before closing his eyes, he soaked in the scenery as he slowly sauntered down the gravel path. He halted, looking down at his hand and remembered the sungi horn he'd been carrying.

"Uncle Iroh," he said, holding tightly to his sungi horn. It was an old horn, worn down by the years. He felt nostalgic. He was so far away from his family.

Zuko looked up, glanced around, hoping to find shade under the large trees. It didn't take long to find the perfect tree. He placed the sungi horn on top of a pile of leaves and gathered dried twigs and made a small fire. He smiled in satisfaction and sat under the shade of a rare leafy Midnight Rose tree. The midmorning breeze blew softly, threatening to dwindle down the fire. He sighed in frustration, flicking his wrist slightly, causing the fire to pulse with life. The scent of the Midnight Rose flowers and smoke wafted through the air. He inhaled the combined aromas and thought of home.

"Ahh," he whispered in contentment.

The Fire Lord relaxed his back against the tree trunk and stared at the warm fir,e reached for his sungi horn and peeked down at it. The nostalgia was gone, replaced by a sense of complacency that filled his heart. Zuko chuckled; the irony of his life. Once, he'd thought that being like his father would be fulfilling. Look at him now! He was enjoying a quiet morning. He tightened his hold on the horn and a flood of memories filled him. He inspected the instrument and saw his uncle's initials on it. He pulled the sungi horn in front of him, instinctively remembering the notes he'd practiced so much during his time as a fugitive, living in Ba Sing Se.

He placed his fingers where his uncle had instructed and breathed in to the horn. The first few notes were high-pitched, loud and out of tune. He gradually regulated his breathing, blowing slowly at an even tempo, until the notes were melodious and mellifluous. His body relaxed at the measured tempo of the music he played. It brought fond memories of the time he spent with his uncle in Ba Sing Se. Zuko's nostalgia returned as he remembered the old man that had been his support, strength, and confidant during those rough times: Uncle Iroh.

He closed his eyes and imagines sitting around the table of their small apartment, drinking tea with his uncle. He pulled the instrument away from his lips and chuckled, remembering his uncle's wise words; those words that once fell like cryptic messages on young ears. At the time, they didn't make any sense to him, but now that he was older, wiser and the Fire Lord of the Fire Nation, he understood. Life was composed of simple things.

He resumed his playing, this time changing the tune to Lu Ten's lullaby. It was a combination of notes that evoked raw emotions. The song had been composed by Iroh, during the time that they were fugitive, running from the previous Fire Lord. Zuko's chest tightened as he thought back on his life. He'd been blessed or lucky perhaps. But no doubt about one thing, he understood Iroh's love for Lu Ten. Lu Ten had been the light of Iroh's world... He comprehended well. Rae was his light and his world.

Zuko was too deep in thought, that he didn't hear the sound of twigs and dried leaves crushing beneath steady footsteps approaching him. He continued playing, recalling heartwarming moments of his youth.

"I knew that was you," Rae giggled, startling the Fire Lord.

"Rae," he said startled.

"Hello, Zuko," Rae grinned, waving his little hand, and trudged close to the fire Zuko had built.

Rae pulled his robe to his ankle and flopped, cross-legged in front of his father. The child smiled widely, watching his father attentively and adjusting his silk robes to hide his matching shoes. He scooted a few inches closer to Zuko. The Fire Lord slowly pulled the sungi horn away from his lips and offered the curious child a pleasant smile.

"Rae, I didn't hear you coming," Zuko said honestly, placing the instrument on the grass.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you," Rae shrugged, reaching for the sungi horn. "I ran from Momma." He said sheepishly.

"Why?" He asked. Rae replied with a shrug. "Won't Toph be worried?"

"Momma is earthbending with Aang and Haru," Rae informed, tilting his head slightly to the side, gazing at his father. "Do you want me to leave?" he asked sadly.

Zuko shook his head. "No, you can stay with me. I'm glad to have your company," he chuckled softly. "She'll be worried, though."

"I'll tickle her," Rae giggled mischievously. "She always laughs when I tickle her."

His smile brought a surge of happiness to the Fire Lord's soul. "I'll love to see that."

"I can tickle you too!" Rae said, wiggling his fingers in front of the Fire Lord. "Momma is great!" Rae said with childish abandonment. "I love her!"

For an instant, he saw himself in his child. He saw his own innocence, before it was forcibly removed and stolen from him by his father, his sister, and other circumstances. He saw the child's love for his mother and his heart ached for his own mother. Zuko had trouble swallowing. There were scars that still hadn't healed – his mother's absent was one of them.

"Zuko," Rae said, looking down at the sungi horn that he held in his hand. "I lied to Mom."

"What did you do?" Zuko asked, arching one eyebrow.

"I asked Mom if I could play. She wanted me to go with Poppy and Lao," he said worriedly. "I am supposed to be with them, but I escaped." Rae said matter-of-factly. "I wanted to be with you. I followed you when you passed the gardens."

"Why would you do that? Poppy and Lao are your grandparents," Zuko explained. "They are Toph's parents."

"They dress me in too many robes," the kid pouted, scratching his forehead with his chubby fingers and sighed. "They don't let me climb trees. I can't run. The make Momma sad. Lao doesn't like me. Poppy pinches my cheeks too much. I don't like that."

"Neither do I," Zuko mumbled.

They were silent for a moment, when Rae started rocking his torso back and forth. "Zuko," Rae began, but shook his head, "forget it."

"What is it?" Zuko asked.

"It's nothing," Rae said dejectedly, his little fingers skimming the metal of the horn.

"Tell me," Zuko ordered gently. "I might be able to help you."

"Okay," Rae sighed. "What song were you playing?"

"Oh," Zuko leaned forward, taking the sungi horn out of his son's small hands. "It's a lullaby. My cousin's lullaby."

"Lul-a-by?"

"A lullaby," Zuko laughed. "It's my cousin's lullaby."

"Why does he has a lullaby?"

"My uncle composed it for him... Lu Ten died in... battle."

"Why did you play that lullaby?"

"Um, well," he paused, gathering his thoughts. "A lullaby is played to sooth someone, like a child that can't sleep or is crying or when someone is having a rough day. It's a way of finding comfort."

"I'm having a rough day," Rae said, sulking.

"I can play Lu Ten's lullaby. Would you like to hear it?"

Rae nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, please."

Zuko played the lullaby. He watched the myriad of expressions that his son made. They were unique, different from the previous one. Rae moved even closer to his father, until his head rested on his lap. He stared admiringly at Zuko. The father could see his son's admiration. His heart skipped merrily within his chest. When he was done playing, he put the instrument on the grass and touched his son's face.

"Rae,"

"Hmm?" Rae asked sleepily.

"Do you want me to teach you firebending?" his father asked curiously, watching his son's golden eyes open widely. Rae sat up, nodding briskly.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Rae replied, looking down at his lap and entwining his fingers together. "Yes," he said in a weak voice, "please?" he said nervously.

In another lifetime, Zuko would've looked at his son's body language as a sign of weakness. In fact, his father, Ozai, would reprimand Zuko whenever he nervously played with his hand. It was forbidden for the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation to show weakness. Zuko was glad that he had changed, because he could never be so ruthless and callous like his father. He loved his son too much to be a prick to him. His father rebuked him and shunned him, to the point of always stating that Azula was better than him and a prodigy. He would never make his son feel useless and unworthy.

As he watched his child's expectant look, he vowed never to make Rae feel insignificant or less than perfect. He was going to raise him with the same values that his uncle instilled in him.

"I will teach you firebending, Rae," Zuko began, "but,"

"But?" Rae asked, opening his eyes wider, as he stared carefully at his father.

"You have to promise me two things," he continued.

"Yes...what are they?"

"Promise to never use firebending to harm innocent people." He said seriously. "Never use firebending to will people to do your bidding."

"Ah?" Rae asked confused. "I don't understand." He chuckled childishly and crawled onto his father's lap.

"You are a prodigy, Rae," he began, "you will hear many people praising you for your ability to wield blue fire. Don't let that get to your head. Never forget your humble beginnings. Never use fire to hurt others. Never use firebending to make people do whatever you want. Got it?"

"Prodigy?" Rae asked.

Zuko nodded, chortled, and kissed the top of his son's head. He loved this kid so much. He explained what a prodigy was as simple as he could. The child nodded, understand his father's words. Zuko continued, explaining the basis of firebending. He wanted to instill in his child a sense of responsibility, respect, and honor. Every time that he saw his little Rae, he witnessed the miracle his love for Toph had created. It all seemed so surreal to him. Zuko was a father. A proud father, nonetheless. This small miracle was his. Rae was his. He's going to turn his son in to a great man, ruler, and friend to the poor and weak. He smiled, as he saw his son – a smaller version of himself – and grinned.

"Will I be like you?"

"Greater. Taller. Handsomer. Much better than I could ever be,"

"Can you... teach me how... to play that?" Rae asked, suddenly turning shy, as he pointed at the sungi horn.

"Sure,"

"Can make a lullaby for me... please?"

"How about this," Zuko paused, sitting his son beside him, "I'll compose your own song."

"Really?" Rae asked excitedly. "My own lullaby? For me?" he clapped.

"Yes,"

"Zuko?" Rae sighed, his expression changing rapidly.

"Yes," he said curiously. "What's the matter?"

"After you play the lullaby... can you come with me?"

"Where to?"

"I want to apologize to Momma," he pouted. "I don't want her to be mad at me,"

Zuko was about to speak, when the ground next to them began to tremble. Zuko clutched his son tightly against his chest and quickly got to his feet. Rae closed his eyes shut, wounding his small arms around his father's neck, seeking refuge and protection. Zuko was ready to attack anyone that threatened his son's life. Suddenly, a hole opened in the ground and Toph emerged. She dusted herself off and drew a deep breath of air.

"Man is good to get away from them," she said to herself and then turned her attention to Rae and Zuko. "I knew he was here with you," Toph gave the Fire Lord an amused smile.

"You could be more careful, Toph. You frightened our kid," Zuko said, a grim expression on his face.

"Sorry, guys. Sorry, kiddo," Toph said nonchalantly, moving her arms to earthbend, sealing the hole shut. "I assume that Rae is hiding from his grandparents?"

"Yes,"

"I'm hiding from them, too." She smirked. "They are driving me insane. I figured that Rae would be with you and hiding from my folks. My mom is constantly pinching his cheeks. He doesn't like that."

"No one likes that," Zuko said relaxed.

Toph turned around, her feet shoulder length apart. "Why do you have that old thing with you? Isn't it Uncle Iroh's sungi horn?"

"Yeah, he gave it to me a few years ago," he explained, tracing soothing circles on the child's back. Rae relaxed against his father.

"Can you still play it?" she asked incredulous.

"I'm not as great as him, but I can still play it,"

"Can you play for me?" Toph asked, plopping on the floor, next to the fire Zuko made earlier.

"And me!" Rae added, giving his dad a peck on the cheek.

"Sure," he grinned, gently placing his son on Toph's lap. He sat across from them, his knees slightly touching hers. He began playing his instrument, new notes forming in his head, as he played the music of his heart. Toph smiled, enjoying the simplicity of the moment; enjoying the perfect company. Rae was asleep when Zuko played the final notes. He discarded the instrument and leaned forward, touching Toph's shoulder. She held her breath, awaiting his next move. "He's asleep,"

"Yes," Toph replied. "I sensed his..."

"I haven't," Zuko interjected, and cleared his throat; leaning even closer, "I haven't forgotten this morning's kiss, Toph. Have you?"

"Neither have I," she blushed.

"Can I kiss you?"

Toph didn't have time to reply. The Fire Lord's lips were on hers. They were soft, pliable against her own. His kisses were like blazing fire, consuming her. She moaned against his mouth, with her free hand she caressed his cheek and surrendered her heart, indefinitely. She couldn't remember the last time she felt like floating on air.

"I love you," he sighed, as he broke the kiss. "I love you. I love you. I love him. I love us. I love everything about you. I love being with you."

"I never thought I hear you say that," she confessed, resting her forehead against his chin. "I love you, too. I love him so much. You gave him to me," she said, as she spoke of their son. "I love every minute we share together. I love being with you, Zuko."

He stared at her. She was his. Her heart was his. Her lips were his. Everything about her was his. He leaned in for another kiss, when a loud squawking sound interrupted them. He looked up at the tree branches, and saw a Fire Nation messenger hawk, perched on the branches.

"What is it?"

"A messenger hawk," he said irritated, getting to his feet.

"Be careful, they bite," she warned.

"I know," he reached took off his robe, wrapped it around his forearm, and then instructed the hawk to hop to his arm. The hawk obediently moved from the branch on to the Fire Lord's forearm. Zuko reached for the leather pouch that was tied tightly to the bird's back. He retrieved the folded papyrus and gently returned the bird to the branch.

"What does it say?" Toph asked curiously.

Zuko's eyes skimmed through the letter. "We have to head to out this evening," he said in a low voice.

"Where to?"

"To the Fire Nation," he responded. His golden eyes burning with anger.