Crossroads
AN: More chapters for you!
Remembering the Difficult Past
Tentatively at first, Zuko's lips brushed hers. She moaned as she pressed her breast to his chest. Her fingernails raked into his scalped and he groaned in ecstasy.
"Zuko," she whispered.
Her eyes were shut tightly as she let his hands touch her. An alarm in the back of Zuko's head warned him that this was wrong. Toph wasn't herself. Rae's disappearance was clouding her judgment. She was vulnerable, and if he continued, he knew that they would both regret this later.
"Toph, this is wrong," he mumbled against her lips. She pulled his hair harder and grunted disapprovingly. He managed to pry himself free of her hold and sighed, as he stared at her swollen and kissed lips.
"Come on, Zuko, please," she sighed annoyed; her luscious lips forming a pout. "We are both consenting adults."
"I kno-" She pressed her mouth harder, drowning her words in a searing kiss, as she probed her tongue, until she found the tiny opening he left her. She moaned and writhed her body until it was parallel against his.
He fell back, his head touching the pillow and brought her along with him. Toph was atop of him, one leg on each side of him; straddling him as they kissed passionately. Her hands were splayed on his shoulders, balancing her body, while his touched every inch of her. She desperately wanted to drown out the voices from her head and forget the pain that Rae's absent left within her.
Being in Zuko's arms felt good; almost therapeutic! His hands were warm on her skin. His scorching lips left a fiery trail of kisses down her neck all the way to her collarbone. She felt like he was melting her to him.
Zuko knew that this wasn't right... at least, not like this. He fought against his righteous side, until he grudgingly pulled away.
"What? Why did you stop?" Toph said upset. "I thought you wanted this."
"I do... I do, Toph... Just... I can't do this to you... Not like this," he said breathlessly as he pushed himself away from her and sat up. "You are upset, Toph. This is not how you want this to happen."
"You don't tell me what I want," she said, getting off him.
"I just want you-" he said exasperated, covering his face with his hands. "You don't want to be with me like this."
"Is it that you don't love me?" she hissed. "Do you wish it was Mai whenever you are touching me?"
"What the fuck? Toph, why are you saying this? You know... that I love you. I do! I love you so much, Toph. I can't express to you how much I care about you. I love you with all my heart and you have the fucking guts to say such hurtful things?" He said, reaching for her hands, but she jerked away. "Toph, it's just... this isn't the right time. We don't know how long we are going to be searching for Rae... and what if you..."
"What? What if I 'what'?" she asked haughtily.
"Get pregnant, sweetheart," he whispered gently, wrapping his arm around her waist and brought her to him. He adjusted her lissome form on his lap and sighed in irritation when she resisted him. "Toph," he said pinching the bridge of his nose; trying to control his annoyance. "Why do you have to be so stubborn? Why did you have to bring up Mai?"
"So... you wouldn't want me to give you another child?" she asked in disdain. "Is that so bad? Do you even love Rae?"
"I adore Rae, Toph. In fact, I would be the happiest man if I had another child from you," he said honestly. "But we can't, not at this moment. We don't know what type of dangers we are going to be facing in the future. I also don't think that another child can replace... Rae."
Toph didn't respond. She crossed her arms over her chest and sulked. Zuko raked his fingers through his hair and exhaled.
"What's exactly bothering you?"
"Everything!" she said, taking a deep breath and exhaled. "You had a child with Mai, didn't you?" Toph asked nonchalantly.
Her question left Zuko breathless. "What did you say?"
"You heard me," she said coolly, getting off his lap and sat across from him. "You had a child with Mai... what happened to your son or daughter?"
Zuko rubbed his chin in disbelief and stared baffled at the blind earthbender. Her eyes were fixed on him and for a second, he forgot that she wasn't able to see him. Toph held her chin high, as she waited for his reply. The words seemed to have left him. Zuko reminded himself to breath and stay calm.
"How? Wh-"
"No one told me," she shrugged and reached for his pillow. She began playing with it. "The other night, I heard, um, someone speaking about it. I didn't get all the details, but I sort of deduced it. Am I right?"
"How?"
"Your actions," she said flatly. "You blame yourself for Rae's kidnapping. You have nightmares about the child's death, but you never say how she or he died."
"She..."
"What?"
"Her name was Tei Lin," he replied sadly. She would have been two last month."
"Two?" Toph muttered under her breath.
"Yes, she was a few years younger than Rae."
"How did she... Tei Lin die?" she asked carefully. "Was she killed by followers of your father?'
"Not exactly," He shook his head and took the pillow from her hands and began playing with it. "She did it. Mai killed her." He said ruefully. "Remember how I told you that Mai had been poisoned."
"Yes," she nodded, "she ate your food, and it was poisoned."
"Yes," he sighed sadly, "Mai ate the poisoned food that was made for me. I remember that she didn't look good that morning... She was paler than usual and asked to see Tei Lin. She rarely acknowledged or interacted with our daughter. Deep down, I think she hated our daughter. Mai wasn't thrill when she discovered that she was pregnant."
"Bitch,"
Zuko chuckled miserably and inhaled, slowly exhaling before he continued. "The physician happened to mention to me that Mai was with child. I was thrilled about it, but he told me that Mai wanted to have an abortion."
"An abortion? I knew she was heartless,"
"Toph, I always wanted children. I always wanted a to be a father. I can be a great father..."
"You are the best father for Rae," she said melancholically.
"Well, Mai didn't want to become a mother. She told me that we could have as many children as I wanted as long as she became Fire Lady of the Fire Nation. I had to put my foot down and basically forced her to have my child. Toph, I couldn't imagine killing the life that grew within her. If I gave in to her will, I would be acting just like my father. I know that she had a right to... Well, I... she finally accepted. She resented me afterwards. She blamed me for how her body had changed and we argued a lot. Finally, we had my beautiful daughter and I loved her from the first moment that I held her. She was so sweet. When I held her in my arms, she immediately stopped crying. She knew that she was safe with me. The child adored me. She could barely walk, but her eyes followed me around." He laughed, as a tear strolled down his left cheek. "The night she was born I promised her that I would protect her and keep her safe. I failed, Toph. I failed miserably."
"No, you didn't fail."
"I made the same promise to Rae and I also failed."
"No, it wasn't your fault. You didn't know, Zuko," she said, her own tears falling down her face. "Go on, Zuko,"
"Well, Mai must've known that she was dying, because she requested that her maid bring our daughter to her room. She fed Tei Lin the same food she'd eaten."
"Oh my goodness! No, that's impossible. A mother can't be that cruel." Toph said appalled. "I knew she was a bitch, but to kill a child!"
"Tei Lin died a few days later. Mai didn't leave behind a letter explaining her actions. I will never know why she wanted to end our daughters life. I think she did it to hurt me."
"Bitch," Toph growled in indignation. "I hope she burns in the pits of hell!"
"Toph," Zuko said wiping his tears with the back of his hand and reached out to touch her. "I swear to you that I will find Rae. I will bring him to you. I don't care how long it takes. I will bring those that harmed us by taking our Rae from us to their knees until they beg for mercy. I will kill them and also end my father's life, too. He's done too much damage. He's taken everything from me. He took my mother. He turned Azula against her own brother. He is to blame for my daughter's death. He ordered to have our son kidnapped. He won't stop until he's stopped. I won't rest until I have finished him and placed our son in your arms."
Toph nodded, because the knot that had formed in the back of her throat made it impossible for her to utter any words or speak. Without thinking it twice, Toph took his face in her hands and kissed his lips. Zuko barely had time to discern what was happening, when he felt the fierce passion of Toph's kisses crashing against his lips like a powerful tidal wave.
"This is the right thing to do," she said with bated breaths against his lips and smiled at him. "This is perfectly right," she said smiled and kissed him again before he had a chance to complain. "Let me console you. You and I have lost too much, but not anymore. I will stand beside you. We will find a way out of this hole."
Toph moved to his laps, and straddled him. The Fire Lord reciprocated the kiss with such intensity and passion that left the earthbender breathlessly. In a sweeping motion, she was in his arms, beneath his warm body. His hands touched every centimeter of her. Zuko kissed her, whispering huskily how much he loved her.