The next few days were an emotional blur for Sadie. She couldn't shake the guilt over her brother's death. She could not believe that she had said such horrible things about her brother. She hadn't really wanted him to die. She was just sick of him always taking up all her parents time and knowing that her parents would probably lose their retirement fund to get him the care he was going to need. Her dad had already had to step down as an agent due to old injuries and now a recruiter. Ziva remained with NCIS but was now a trainer with FLETC. Both had given up jobs as Supervisory Agents and only Tony had medical reason to do so. Ziva had taken a job that was only part time so that she could devote more time to caring for Jack. Now he was gone and her parents had sacrificed everything seemingly for nothing.

Three days had now passed since Jack died. Sadie had collapsed onto the floor of the hospital crying and then woken up in the guest-room at Gibbs's house. Her dad was just lying around all the time and her mom wouldn't talk to anybody. She just wandered around muttering in Hebrew and picking up the same pictures over and over. Sadie had spent the first night at Gibbs's house and then the past two days were spent mostly at the Palmer's house. She and Emma just lay awkwardly on her bed only telling the occasional story about Jack. Jimmy kept talking about how much he missed Clark, and Alison would hug her every time she saw her.

"Sadie?" Emma asked.

"Hm?" Sadie asked.

"Are you OK?" Emma asked.

"No! No I am not!" Sadie cried.

"Just asking." Emma replied.

"What if Samantha died? She was everything and then she was gone?" Sadie asked.

"I don't know Sadie everybody I ever knew who died was old. Just Ducky, Breena's dad Ed, and Alison's grandma." Emma explained.

"Couple of Jack's friends from school died over the years but I never thought Jack would." Sadie explained.

"Never do. I mean we all die but like we never really think about it." Emma commented.

"My dad does a lot, mom too, and Gibbs." Sadie argued.

"My dad too and Alison but I don't much." Emma corrected.

"I guess you do more when you get to a certain age or kids to worry about you do." Sadie explained

"Unless you are sick or something." Emma replied.

"Do you think that Jack ever thought about death?" Sadie asked.

"Could be" Emma replied.

"I wish I could have talked to him really talked to him." Sadie sighed.

"I wish I had acknowledged him more." Emma replied.

"I lived in the same house and I barely acknowledged him the last year of his life." Sadie replied.

"Except for when your parents made you or when you yelled that you wished he was dead and then he did die." Emma commented.

"Emma" Sadie croaked.

"What?" Emma asked.

"Do you think I killed Jack?" Sadie asked.

"Well you did wish that it would happen." Emma commented.

"Some friend you are!" Sadie snapped jumping up.

Sadie ran from Emma's room, down the stairs, and out of the house. She could not believe her best friend could say such hurtful things. How could she accuse her of killing Jack? A real friend would have told her that it wasn't her fault and that Jack had died. She ran to the highway and waved her arms. Until a cab stopped for her. She handed the cabby her credit-card. Even though she had sworn she would only use it for emergencies. Then again this was an emergency.

"Where to sweetie?" The cabby asked.

"7561 Laurel Highland Drive" Sadie replied.

"That's pretty far." The cabby commented.

"I know but I need to see my friend." Sadie replied.

Sadie watched the world pass her by outside the cab window. Her brother was dead and her best friend had betrayed her. Her parents were too paralyzed by their grief over Jack. She couldn't really talk to the Palmer's about it, McGee was away, and Abby would just cry. That left her grandpa Gibbs. He had always been her favorite person in the world and when she was younger her most trusted ally. Lately however she had found herself confiding more in Abby. Because well Gibbs didn't understand boy troubles and menstrual cycles made even former Marines uncomfortable. The cab stopped in front of Gibbs's house and the cabby scanned her card and handed it back to her. She thanked the cabby, jumped out, and ran up to Gibbs's door. She was relieved that he hadn't started locking his door.

"Hello?!" Gibbs called.

"Gibbs?" Sadie asked.

"Sadie what are you doing here? Jimmy said you ran out of there house and your parents are worried sick. They are burying Jack tomorrow don't put anymore stress on them." Gibbs asked.

"Great you are mad at me too." Sadie sniffed.

"Sadie? Did something happen?" Gibbs asked.

"Oh yeah it did." Sadie replied.

"What happened?" Gibbs asked.

"I...I killed Jack!" Sadie cried.

"What do you mean?" Gibbs asked.

"The day he died I got mad at him and I wished that he would die." Sadie explained

"Sadie that wasn't your fault." Gibbs assured.

"But it happened just after I wished that he would die." Sadie commented.

"Sadie, your parents never told you this but Jack was always on borrowed time. He wasn't supposed to live past birth, than every second was precious. He would never live to a year. Then when he did he was never going to see five and it was ten after that." Gibbs explained.

"And he was eleven and I killed him!" Sadie cried.

"No Sadie the last year of Jack's life. Things weren't right. His heart was weak and his seizures were more frequent. They knew but they didn't want to accept it." Gibbs explained.

"I should have. I should have." Sadie sniffed.

"Should have appreciated him more?" Gibbs finished.

"Uh-huh" Sadie agreed.

"We all learn that too late." Gibbs assured

"Can you take me home?" Sadie asked.

"Yeah of course." Gibbs replied.

Gibbs looked at the little girl riding in the seat beside him. She wasn't a little girl anymore. She was a teenager. A teenager mourning a tragic loss. Kids shouldn't lose their siblings. Jack had been sick his whole life but he didn't deserve to die at only eleven. He parked in front of Tony and Ziver's house. He helped Sadie out of the car and walked her up to the front door.

"Sadie?" Ziva asked.

"Yes she was with me." Gibbs assured.

"When we called you hadn't seen her!" Ziva snapped.

"She came to my house after. She is safe." Gibbs explained.

"Sadie go to your room. We will talk later." Ziva said.

"She is feeling guilty about Jack." Gibbs explained after Sadie had run upstairs.

"I will talk to her" Ziva replied.

"She's hurting." Gibbs replied.

"I know but I know." Ziva replied closing the door in Gibbs's face.

Gibbs left and Sadie retreated to her son's room. The medical supply company had taken his machines, wheelchair, and hospital bed that morning. Now the room was bare except for the small couch that she or Tony slept on when Jack needed somebody to watch him. She took the small black and white photograph out of her pocket and held it in her hands. She had been to the doctors the day Jack died. She was about to give Tony the news when the seizure started. They had always wanted another child but after Jack they were too afraid. When Sadie was ten and Jack was seven they found out they were expecting again but it ended in a miscarriage in the tenth week. She was eight weeks now and in her forties. Too much risk, too much fear but she wanted this baby. Not to replace Jack but to give her purpose again. She had Sadie but Sadie was growing. She knew this baby would grow too but by then Sadie would have kids.

A/N: Was this chapter well written? Good thing Sadie has Gibbs, huh? Sadie meets her birth mother in the next chapter and realizes what family really is. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.