Chapter Six

Coach Sylvester hated to admit it, but Rachel's tryout was too good to not let her onto the team. All throughout her tryout, Quinn waited for her nervously outside the gym. When she saw Rachel, she wasn't sure that she should have stayed. But when Rachel met Quinn's eyes a large smile spread across her face and she ran to hug her.

Quinn was knocked back slightly by the force of Rachel's body colliding against her's. "Oh."

"Thank you so much Quinn for all your help with everything."

Quinn relaxed and smiled, hugging her back. For now Rachel didn't seem upset about the kiss, but perhaps that was just because she was too distracted by her successful tryout. "You're still the same old Rachel aren't you?" Quinn said, still remembering the last time Rachel had knocked the breath out of her with a hug. "If you hug me like that a third time you might accidentally kill me."

Quinn regretted her words instantly. Rachel looked up at her in sadness and pulled away. Quinn mentally cursed herself. She shouldn't have been so stupid as to bring that up. Quinn had never known what happened to Rachel after the last night they saw each other as small children, but she knew the memory must have been unpleasant for her, she had been crying after all. Quinn knew that now might not be the best time for this, but she had already brought it up, and she couldn't fight her curiosity any longer.

"Rachel what happened after that night?" Quinn couldn't prevent her voice from becoming slightly higher on the word 'night'. She had tears at the back of her throat. "All I know is I never saw you or Shelby again, just a truck that came by to pick up your things. My mom told me you guys moved away, but I always felt like there was something off about that story, something I was missing."

"Yeah well, something big did happen," Rachel didn't know if she could bring herself to say the words aloud, she hated talking about it. She looked into Quinn's glistening, empathetic eyes. There was so much worry in them. It somehow made everything so much worse, so much more real, and all the emotions that Rachel was sure she had severed from her existence were flooding back to her. Overwhelmed, Rachel started sobbing. She covered her face with her hands.

"Rachel," Quinn said softly. She pulled Rachel into her arms gently, guiding Rachel's head to her shoulder. "Its going to be okay," Quinn murmured rubbing circles on her back.

Rachel covered Quinn's Cheerios uniform in tears. Quinn's arms were so soft, it was like being encircled in a ring of butterflies that all smelled of pollen and grass. Quinn's scent was sweet, yet there was something deeper to it as well, more grounding.

Without being asked, Rachel tried to speak up through her tears. "She. Left'd-ed me." Rachel gasped, her words garbled. "Shelby." She forced the last word out.

"Oh Rachel," Quinn said knowing she would gain a better understanding when Rachel calmed down and could tell her more details. "I'm so sorry."

Rachel put her head down on Quinn's shoulder, the loudness of her crying picking up again. Quinn placed a hand on the back of her head and held it there for a little while, then continued rubbing her back. Rachel raised her head. "Foster Care," she spit out.

Quinn's eyes widened in horror, Rachel actually stating the words brought all of the stereotypes of how horrible Foster Care could be to her mind. She was glad that Rachel couldn't see her face, for fear that it would have made her feel worse somehow. Perhaps Rachel's life in Foster Care wasn't all bad, maybe it was just the pain of losing Shelby that was fueling her tears.

Rachel's crying continued a while longer before she managed to get a hold of herself. Quinn continued to hold her as her tears slowed. She didn't know how long she held her for, but it didn't feel like long enough. The part of her that was able to get past the fact that Rachel seemed to be in excruciating emotional pain, jumped up in down inside her and whooped at being able to hold her like this. When Rachel finally pulled away Quinn had to suppress her disappointment before it reached her face.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said wiping at the snot and tears on her face hurriedly.

"What, are you trying to apologize for having emotions?" Quinn teased lightly.

Rachel looked away and continued wiping at her tears.

Quinn put a hand on Rachel's shoulder and looked deep into the eyes that weren't meeting hers. "Foster care would suck." She said prompting her into conversation.

Rachel laughed still wiping salt water off of her eyelashes. "It did," she said looking down, "for the most part."

Quinn studied her carefully.

Rachel sniffed. "But that's all over now. What matters now," Rachel said finally looking up and meeting Quinn's eyes with a watery smile, "is that were together," Rachel crawled two fingers up Quinn's arm, "in maybe more ways than one?" Rachel cocked an eyebrow hopefully.

"Yeah," Quinn laughed nervously. "I mean if you wanna be." She said hoping Rachel and her were on the same page.

Rachel laughed and kissed Quinn on the cheek. "I would, you know, do it properly but my lips probably still taste like tears."

"Yeah, totally," Quinn said smiling and nodding and not being able to think of much else to say.

"Its totally not sexy," Rachel said looking down.

"No," Quinn said backtracking, "it is."

To prove it Quinn leaned in and kissed her. And Rachel kissed her back. Even though the kiss was incredibly wet and tasted like tears, Quinn was too happy to care.

When they pulled back the nagging fear grabbed Quinn again. "But, don't like, tell anyone," Quinn blurted out.

"Yeah," Rachel said nodding and smiling. Trying to pretend that was obvious. "Of course not."

Quinn was too busy letting out a sigh of relief to notice the hurt in Rachel's eyes.

At Cheerios practice over the next few weeks, Coach Sylvester was intentionally hard on Rachel. Even though she did so well on her tryout, Sue wanted to test her. A small part of her still wished that Rachel would quit the team. She was a good athlete, but Sue knew an emotionally fragile person when she saw one, she had been tormenting teens for enough decades to have acquired this skill. And emotionally fragile students broke down when it really counted. Like performances.

Rachel wouldn't just leave practice breathless from exhaustion, she would also leave it breathless from stress.

As they opened they're lockers before they changed, Quinn would look at Rachel in sympathy and guilt. If it weren't for her Rachel would have quit the team by now. She was a good cheerleader, but she got no joy out of it. If Rachel wasn't on the team though, Quinn would have no excuse to be seen with her in the halls. The other cheerleaders shunned Rachel, because she had been on the receiving end of too many of Coach Sue's cruel jokes. But Quinn could always spend time with her on the pretense of making sure the socially outcasted yet talented cheerleader didn't quit the team. Most of the girls liked it because it allowed them to treat Rachel like shit without worrying that she would leave the team.

Quinn knew that Rachel needed something else to make her happy. Another place where she actually felt accepted. Otherwise she might break under the pressure, and end up not just deserting the Cheerios, but Quinn as well out of resentment. Cheerios practice had put a certain strain on their relationship. Rachel's voice would always be a bit flat while she talked to Quinn and their kisses were always brief and without much emotion.

Desperation had already set over Quinn by the time she found the solution. A container of deodarant had broken open in her locker and spilled white powder all over the clothes Quinn had brought to change into. And they weren't cheap clothes either.

"Shit, shit, shit." Quinn looked over the mess frantically. She couldn't wear them now, she would have to leave school in her Cheerios uniform, which would only heighten people's opinion of her that she was a snob who wanted to flaunt her position as head cheerleader of junior varsity.

She could at least try to wash them off so they didn't stain.

She heard a sound that made her stop on her way to the showers (and saved her clothes from becoming anymore ruined than they already were).

It was the swan-like sound of singing, so beautiful that Quinn didn't immiedately recognize the song. She stood there captured by the music, which stopped every now and then when the singer got water in her mouth or when it was replaced by the click of a shampoo bottle opening.

Finally Quinn realized what the name of the song was. Lost in thought and sad memories, Quinn barely noticed when the water turned off.

The girl stepped out of the shower and froze when she saw Quinn. Hastily she grabbed a towel off the stack (which was about a foot away from her) and wrapped it around herself.

"Rachel?!" Quinn said in shock and mild approval. "I didn't realize you were still here."

Rachel rushing out of the locker room after practice without saying goodbye had become commonplace.

"Yes well, I just wanted sometime alone to think." There was a not so subtle emphasis on the word 'alone'.

"I didn't know you could sing," Quinn's eyes were traveling up and down Rachel's now covered body.

Rachel blushed and pulled the towel around her more tightly. "I really didn't mean for anyone to hear that, that's why I waited for everyone to leave before showering, or at least thought they had left."

"No, you don't understand Rachel, you have a really good voice," Quinn took a step toward her annoyed girlfriend in the excitement that she felt at finally having a way to get back to her.

Rachel didn't say anything, but Quinn swore her body and eyes softened a little before she flounced behind a different shower curtain where she had stowed her clothes.

Rachel came out dressed a moment later, but the buttons on her shirt were croaked and Quinn had to resisted the urge to fix them.

"Rachel," Quinn said, too excited to wait very long, "I heard about this new club a bunch of kids were making with the Spanish teacher, and at first I thought it was really stupid, because I can't sing. But its called glee club and I really think you should join."

Rachel followed Quinn to the other side of the locker room slowly.

Quinn bent to gather her belongings.

"I'm not joining glee club." Rachel said defiantly.

"Why not?" Quinn looked up at her curiously.

Rachel still seemed upset. "Because I-I can't sing in front of people." Rachel looked down. "I have stage freight," she said softly.

Quinn burst out laughing but stopped quickly at the look Rachel gave her. Quinn pressed her school books to her chest. "But how can you have stage freight, your an amazing singer, and you preform at Cheerios practice everyday."

Apparently Cheerios practice was the wrong thing to bring into the conversation, because Rachel looked down again. "That's different, and I would appreciate it if you would respect my limits and understand that this is just something I can't do."

Rachel turned to leave but Quinn grabbed her hand. "Rachel wait."

Rachel kept her eyes down as Quinn held onto her.

"I miss you Rachel," she found that tears were in her eyes. "I miss us, the way things used to be when we were happy together."

Rachel almost pulled away and left Quinn sitting there alone. Almost. But then she looked up and saw the tears in Quinn's eyes and remembered how Quinn had comforted her about Shelby. Rachel's heart ached.

"Fine. I'll do it." Rachel spoke quietly but bravely. "But only if you audition with me."

Quinn started to smile and as her cheek raised it knocked a tear out of her eyelid. She forced herself not to argue. It was worth humiliating herself in front of a bunch of glee losers if it meant she fixed things with Rachel.

Quinn nodded and brushed the tear off of her face.

Rachel smiled and rubbed the palm of Quinn's hand with her thumb gently.

I don't want to give too much away, but Shelby will be back soon.