Chapter Eight

As sectionals rapidly approached, Mr. Schuester was stressed about preparing the glee club, and yet he was also glowing with excitement and memories of his past glee performances as a high schooler. He was happy with the New Directions capabilities. The new members, Quinn and Rachel, were great additions whose voices blended smoothly into the group.

Two more Cheerios had even decided to join: Brittney and Santana. Ironically, Mr. Schuester's fear of Coach Sue somehow using her Cheerios to bring down the glee club had assuaged just as Sue had gotten the idea. Sue asked Brittney and Santana to join for this specific purpose.

"Find the weakest link, bring her down, and then quit the glee club after she does so they don't have enough people to compete at sectionals," Sue had told them, she really wanted the money back that the glee club was taking so that she could start dry cleaning the Cheerios uniforms in Europe again. If the glee club continued, Principal Figgins would only give the club more of her precious budget money and she might have to cut back on other valuable necessities, like tanning beds.

Their audition had also been a duet, and it was quite memorable too. Neither of them hit as many notes as Rachel, but that was to be expected. They also didn't hold hands like Quinn and Rachel had, and looked a lot more confident as well, wearing their show-face smiles.

No one in glee club could hit quite as many notes as Rachel, not even Tina. Tina did have more confidence than Rachel though.

Mr. Schue was worried about Rachel. Her voice was amazing, but there was always so much sadness in her eyes. She barely talked to anyone besides Quinn, and he thought that she might be the only outsider in New Directions.

Rachel didn't know why exactly, but she always felt a little nervous in glee club. Stiff and on edge, she felt as if everyone was watching her out of the corners of their eyes. And everyone was.

Rachel was glad when she could distract herself by glancing at Quinn, and sharing a lightly concealed smile.

Quinn didn't want to be too obvious about it. It bothered her that Rachel always sat next to her in glee club for this very reason, but she didn't have a nice way to tell Rachel this without hurting her feelings, and things were just getting better with them, so she left it alone. All the while sharing the spotlight with Rachel of sideways glances thrown at them from around the room all through practice.

Quinn desperately needed a beard. For her and for Rachel, that way Rachel couldn't take offense. But she knew getting one for Rachel would be a lot harder than getting one for herself.

Quinn already knew who she wanted, she had thought of it during glee rehearsal when she had finally noticed that Finn Hudson, who was the quarterback of the football team, was also in glee club, and something like its lead male singer. He would be a pretty impressive boyfriend to be seen with around the halls.

There were however, some complications. When Tina had announced that she had found the perfect song for her to sing as a solo so they would win at sectionals, everyone had worn annoyed yet impressed expressions as she belted it out. There was something more to Finn's expression though. His eyes were narrowed challengingly as he watched her, but there was an appreciative glow to them, and Quinn was sure she caught a hint of lust. One side of his mouth was curled in a half grin. Quinn had observed Tina and Finn chatting (since the two were the male and female leads they often had solos together) and from the way Tina laughed and smiled a bit too much, Quinn was fairly certain that the attraction was mutual. But Finn still hadn't asked Tina out.

Quinn wished that Finn would get a move on and ask Tina out, because the sooner he asked Tina out, the sooner he would find out how insecure and boring she was, and the sooner they would break up, and her perfect beard would be available. No strings attached. As of now, she would have to keep up the facade of only hanging out with Rachel out of sympathy. It worked quite well, considering that Rachel was just as valuable to the glee club as she was to the Cheerios, if not more, and, she went around looking just as forlorn. Even though she didn't have an angry coach breathing down her neck and screaming insults at her.

"What's up with Rachel?" Finn had been the first of many to catch up with Quinn in the hallway and ask. "I mean, she's a really good singer and all, but how come she's so quiet, and looks...sad all of the time, and why did you have to sing with her and hold her hand and stuff..."

Quinn smiled placidly. Finn's last words 'hold her hand and stuff' had caused menacing energy to rise up in her chest, and she did her best to mentally direct this at Rachel as she spoke slowly and cruelly. "Rachel is a very special girl, and requires extra help to achieve things that come naturally to others, but you have to agree, her talent is invaluable." Quinn said the words with relish, and had to suppress a laugh at her cleverness. But after the conversation was over, as Finn was walking away, she felt like crying.

Her guilt only increased when Rachel passed her in the hallway, beamed at her with enough brightness to blind a deer and said "hey Quinn."

Her girlfriend didn't even seem to mind that she was her only friend anymore. It was like nothing in the social world mattered to Rachel except Quinn. Quinn found it simultaneously flattering and unnerving.

Ever since the successful audition, after glee practice Rachel and Quinn would frequently find an empty bathroom, and lock the largest stall door so they could kiss each other without their legs bumping into the toilet.

Rachel held back a lot though. It was like she was afraid to get close to anyone, even Quinn. So when Rachel finally kissed Quinn with tongue, Quinn knew she had to be more honest with Rachel. "Rachel, there's something I need to tell you," Quinn said after Rachel pulled away.

"What?"

Rachel's eyes were still glowing that incredibly bright glow of happiness, making Quinn bite her lip.

"You know that slushie you got thrown on you?"

"Yeah?" Rachel was too busy being happy to predict what was coming.

"Well...I told them to throw it at you."

Rachel was suddenly looking down, so Quinn spoke faster, "I didn't have any other excuse to talk to you, and I was really curious Rachel, and I missed you, and I'm sorry."

Rachel was still looking down, but Quinn could see that all of the happiness had gone from her face. When she finally met Quinn's eyes, her expression was serious. "All I want, is for you to be honest with me."

Rachel brushed past Quinn and exited the bathroom stall, leaving Quinn standing there staring at the floor and swallowing the lump in her throat.

Rachel felt tears break free of her eyelids and stream down her face as she stormed out of Mckinley High, clutching her books to her chest and not even bothering to retrieve her backpack from her locker. Wave after wave of betrayal came crashing over her.

It had been Quinn who had told everyone that she was a loser, told everyone that she was goth. Unless of course she was lying about everyone thinking that too, maybe she had just made up that excuse to hide the fact that she had told the football players to slushie her for no reason, so that she could manipulate her into believing that everyone hated her, when in truth everyone probably hadn't even noticed her.

Rachel shoved her hand into her pocket, searching for her ipod. It wasn't there. She had left it in her locker.

At home, she had to bury her head in her hands and cry without the distraction of music. It also gave her time to think.

Quinn had manipulated her, lied to her. But no matter how cruel that seemed, she had done it all with the goal of getting Rachel on the team -with her. Everything Quinn had done, she had done to be with Rachel. And there was something very comforting about the grand gesture. Quinn may have been the only one at Mckinley to be so horrible to her, but she had also been the only one to take so much interest in her. Quinn was all she had, and she wasn't about to let go of her now, not when she had just revealed the truth to her, finally been honest. It was a big stepping stone in their relationship. Rachel rolled over with a slightly satisfied grin on her face and managed to get an hour of sleep before school the next day.

Rachel got to school early, where she found Quinn at her locker. Rachel could practically see the waves of sadness coming off of Quinn as she stuffed books into her locker. Rachel felt touched by this, and her whole body softened even more. "Quinn," she called out gently.

Quinn looked up and froze.

Rachel moved toward her. "I forgive you," she said reaching out and taking Quinn's wrists.

Quinn shoved the notebook she was still holding back into her locker and hugged Rachel.

"Just...keep being honest with me okay?" Rachel said as she held Quinn.

"Yeah," Quinn said through the lump in her throat. She resisted the urge to squeeze Rachel tighter, not wanting to alert her to the fact that something was still wrong. That Quinn was still hiding things from her.

As Rachel released Quinn, gave her a smile and walked away, Quinn hoped with all her heart that she was right about Finn, and that he wouldn't tell Rachel that she had practically told him that Rachel was retarded. Although it gave Quinn no pleasure in realizing it (okay maybe slight pleasure) Finn would never tell Rachel. He would probably never tell Rachel anything ever again. Who would ever talk to someone (at least in a normal way) after they had been told what Quinn had told Finn about Rachel. Finn must think Rachel was a head case. And even if he did, for some bizarre reason, tell Rachel, Quinn could always deny that she had said anything, and just tell Rachel that Finn was making it up too hurt her. Quinn was not going to lose Rachel over this.

"Alright," Mr. Schuester said during Wednesday glee rehearsal. He finally had an idea about how to help Rachel. "I know that glee club has been running for quite some time now, and this is high school, not middle school, but I really want to get to know your parents."

The glee members exchanged incredulous expressions.

"I think it'll be a great way to build community, and for me to get to know you a little better too. So, I made these permission slips that you need to get signed in order to compete at sectionals, and on the bottom of them is an invitation to parents night."

Mr. Shuester handed the stack of papers to Artie who was looking at Mr. Schue like he was insane. But he took a paper and passed on the stack.

"Mr. Schue, is this really necessary?" Tina asked.

"Yes," Mr. Schue said. "And either way you need to get the form signed for sectionals. I want the forms signed and handed into me by next Wednesday, or you can't compete at sectionals. No exceptions."

"I'm totally forging this," Puck mumbled, and Rachel heard.

Rachel looked down at her permission slip, and wished that she could forge her parental gaurdian's signature as well. The problem with living in Foster Care though, at least for her, was that she never stayed in a home long enough to learn her gaurdian's signature. LeRoy would probably actually be happy at the chance to get to know her better, but Rachel really didn't want to show him the form. She wanted to keep her life in glee -which she was really starting to enjoy- separate from her life at home with LeRoy.

She had no choice though. If she didn't show LeRoy the form she couldn't compete at sectionals.

She waited until the last possible moment to give it to him: Tuesday night (he probably wouldn't be awake yet when she left for school Wednesday morning). She hoped that he would already have plans and not be able to make it to parents night. It wasn't that LeRoy constantly had a full schedule, most of his time was spent on the couch or at work, but he did occasionally go out with his drinking bodies on Friday night. And Mr. Schue had scheduled parents night on a Friday as well.

"Can you sign this?" She asked softly, handing him the paper.

"Sure," LeRoy replied, barely looking at her. He almost didn't read the paper, but halfway through his signature he decided he needed to make sure he wasn't signing something crazy. Skimming the paper, his eyes stopped when he read the beginning of the invitation to parent's night. His heart skipped a beat. He had been planning on going to the bar, he had found a guy that he didn't mind flirting with, and who was actually a potential boyfriend. But he didn't want to look like a bad parent either. The invitation was just a reminder of how he had been falling down on the job. He didn't know that going would make him look like a much better parent, he barely knew anything about Rachel, but as he finished signing the form, he decided that he had to at least try.

When Rachel handed Mr. Schue the form, he held her gaze. "Are your mom and dad coming to parents night?"

Rachel couldn't help flinching at the word mom. "Its just my dad, and no, he's not coming."

Will frowned as he watched Rachel take her seat, but there was nothing he could do about it. How Rachel's parents acted wasn't her fault.

On Friday night, LeRoy's nerves were building as he prepared for parents night. He didn't know what to wear for one thing. If he wore a suit he might look to formal, and come off as snobbish, but he didn't want to look too casual either. He decided on his light brown leather jacket. Expensive, but not flashy enough to stand out. As he was opening the door, he was startled by Rachel's voice. She was in the kitchen and could see the door from there.

"Where are you going?" She asked, trying to keep her voice as casual as possible.

"Oh, um, just to parents night, remember? It was today."

Rachel's heart sank. "It's okay Mr. Berry, you really don't need to do that." Rachel tried to convince him.

"Rachel I'm happy to go, it'll be nice to get to know your teacher, I didn't even know you were in glee club until you showed me that permission form," LeRoy said. Her use of such a formal title only made him more certain that this was the right thing to do.

Rachel opened her mouth but couldn't think of anything else to say. LeRoy smiled, and Rachel watched as he opened the door then let it swing shut. Rachel slowly set down the dish towel that she had been holding while she pretended to do dishes.

Will Schuester was surprised to see Rachel's dad. As they shook hands, Will found himself looking the man up and down, searching for flaws, for some clue about why Rachel was the way she was. There was a tiredness to the slump of his shoulders and wrinkles around his eyes and forehead. His face also had a reddish tinge to it, hinting at the fact that he was an alcoholic. LeRoy looked pretty average.

After they were seated, Will glanced at his office door to make sure it was closed. Behind it, a line of parents stood chatting, enjoying the refreshments he had set out on the table in the hall, or just looking around impatiently as they waited for their turn to talk to him.

Will made eye contact with LeRoy. LeRoy was smiling a little nervously, he took his hands off Will's desk and placed them in his lap.

"I'm concerned about your daughter," Will said.

LeRoy's smile began to fade.

"She just doesn't seem...well, happy. She doesn't have a lot of friends, and although she's a great singer, no, an incredible singer, shes a natural, very talented...I just get the feeling that something's been stressing her out." He paused for a moment, checking LeRoy's face for anger, or anything else that might suggest that he had been abusing Rachel in some way. LeRoy's expression was unreadable, so Will continued. "Have there been any events recently that could have caused her trauma? You know, like the loss of a family member or loved one, maybe even the death of a pet, or a divorce?"

"I don't know any of the recent events that took place in her life. Rachel's been in Foster Care for nine years, since she was five-years-old. I just adopted her a few months before she started high school. I adopted her for, f-for my husband," LeRoy choked the last words out, surprised to feel tears coming to his eyes, even now, in such a public setting. Hearing what Will had to say about Rachel though, that she really was hurting, that he really was failing as a parent brought so many emotions to the surface, including those about Hiram. "I'm sorry," LeRoy said as more tears slipped from his eyes. "My, my husband was killed in a car crash, I adopted Rachel for him, it was his dream to be a father...But I? I really don't know how to be a parent." He found himself crying a little harder at those last words.

Will was shocked. He reached out and patted LeRoy's arm. "Its okay," he said. "There are resources at the school that can help you. Emma, I mean Ms. Pillsbury, shes great, she's the school counselor. I'm gonna suggest that Rachel starts seeing her so that she can work out any problems she might have had in Foster Care. Here, let me give you her information."

Rachel fiddled with the paper that excused her from class as she walked towards Ms. Pillsbury's office. She looked around the hallway self-consciously. There was no one around except a guy using the water fountain, and when he was done drinking he looked up and met her eyes before walking away with his back to her.

Rachel looked down at the floor, mentally going over what she was going to tell the counselor. Being told by LeRoy that Mr. Schuester had suggested counseling had been a blow to her already low self-esteem. She had hoped her discomfort in glee club hadn't been so obvious. Now she needed to find a polite way to convince Ms. Pillsbury that she didn't need help.

Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the glass door.

"Hello Rachel, please come in," Ms. Pillsbury had a sweet, gentle voice that Rachel couldn't help thinking would definitely be a soprano.

"Now, I understand that you used to be in Foster Care?" Ms. Pillsbury asked when Rachel was seated.

"Yes, but the thing is Ms. Pillsbury, I really don't need to talk about it. I just came here to make my parental guar - I mean, my dad, feel better about things."

"Counseling isn't for everyone Rachel, and I don't want to force you into something that you don't feel comfortable with, but don't you think that maybe you might feel better about it if you talked?"

Rachel didn't answer. She stared at the wooden desk.

"Do you have any friends you can talk about this kind of stuff with?"

"Yes," Rachel said. "I-I have Quinn. She helps me with everything. I don't need anything else."

"You know relationships, especially in high school, can have a lot of strain put on them if you only rely on one person. Now, I'm glad that you have someone you trust enough to share your feelings with, but if you ever need a second opinion, or someone else to talk to you can always sign-up again to come see me."

Rachel was relieved that their conversation seemed to be over. "Oh, okay, thank you Ms. Pillsbury."

Ms. Pillsbury smiled.

As Rachel turned to leave, the bell rang. In the time it took for her to walk across the office, the hallway was steadily flooded with people.

By a stroke of luck (for them at least) Brittney and Santana were walking by as Rachel left Ms. Pillsbury's office.

"I didn't know Rachel needed counseling," Brittney said to Santana.

"I didn't either," Santana replied. "But I think you've just found our way to carry out Coach Sylvester's stupid 'evil plan' so that she'll give us back our tanning bed privileges."

Santana and Brittney approached Rachel on either side.

"Hey Rachel," Santana said with mock sweetness. "What were you doing in Ms. Pillsbury's office?"

"Was it because you don't have any friends?" Brittney asked in her innocent deadpan.

"What -no," Rachel said defensively.

"Was it because you always look sad in glee club?" Brittney said.

"No, no! It was about my schedule," Rachel lied quickly.

"Which class?" Brittney asked.

"Math, I'm in the wrong level -and I really need to be going or I'll be late to class." Rachel pushed her way through the crowd hurriedly, effectively ditching them.

Santana watched her go with a smile, then turned the smile to Brittney. "Good job, Britt-Britt, there's no way she'll want to be seen in the counselor's office again. She was totally lying about the schedule thing. And with no one to talk to about all of her emotional problems, she'll be out of glee in a week."

"I don't know Santana," Brittney said. "This doesn't feel right, it feels pretty mean."

"Its not mean," Santana said. "We're just protecting ourselves from Coach Sylvester's psycho wrath. And our skin. A girl can't cheer properly without her tanning beds."

Rachel was a little irked by Santana and Brittney's comments, but it didn't matter, she wasn't going to talk to Ms. Pillsbury again anyway. She had been able to handle her problems for nine years without any help, there was no reason to talk now. It didn't change the past, and she didn't want to spend anymore time dwelling on what had happened to her. She wanted to spend all of her time living for the present, and her future, with Quinn.