Chapter Seventeen

Rachel waited a few days before she saw Quinn again, it wasn't very hard avoiding her in the hallways, since she knew all of her patterns by heart, and Quinn didn't seek her out. She gave herself the days to think it through, but she had already decided somewhere inside of her, what she wanted to do, after Shelby had talked to her.

"I'm going to talk to Quinn today," Rachel informed Shelby over breakfast, as she moved a piece of pancake around the plate.

Shelby observed her with large eyes, and a small smile. "Good luck."

Two simple words. But Rachel tried to use them to fuel something like confidence as she walked through the halls, searching for Quinn. When she spotted Brittany alone at her locker, a bad feeling immediately settled in her stomach. "Hey Brittany, where's Santana? And Quinn?"

"I don't know, they said they were going to Santana's car. They might miss first period but they're getting lunch, they'll bring some back for me but they didn't think I should come because I need to get my grade up in that class."

There was disappointment in Brittany's voice, at being left out. Rachel knew that unless Santana had had a sudden change in character, and Quinn had decided to cheat on her again although she guessed it wouldn't really be cheating now, since they were no longer together...Santana would never leave Brittany out of something like this unless she thought she was protecting her.

"Oh, thanks," Rachel whirled around and walked in the direction of the parking lot, refraining from breaking into a jog until she was in the outdoor hallway. People stared, but she barely noticed. Nearing the parking lot, she broke into a sprint, then slowed to a fast walk to look around among the cars. She felt a little dizzy, and the adrenaline from her sprint made it hard to make her eyes focus on license plates, on people, standing beside their cars...then she spotted her, about to get in.

"Quinn!" she yelled, and started running. Somehow she knew that if she didn't reach her now, it wouldn't work, she wouldn't be able to talk her out of this over a text, and once she was inside those doors, she doubted that she would be going back.

Quinn didn't notice at first, probably caught up in the haze of her own thoughts, but Santana saw, and tapped her shoulder.

Quinn turned and her eyes struck Rachel, large brown, and filled with a mixture of shock, but more distantly now, sadness.

When Rachel panted to a stop in front of her, she saw Quinn's hand instinctively land on her stomach. This gave her reassurance that this was the right thing to do, and hope that it would work.

"Quinn," Rachel said. "Don't do it, don't get an abortion."

Quinn's expression was stiff, and her voice was equally so. "Rachel, we were just going out to eat lunch."

Quinn, the master of lies and manipulation, was failing miserably in this moment. Rachel smiled, sensing her lie and glad that she was able to, but also surprised at the part of her brain that instinctively believed Quinn, even though it was so obvious she was lying. There just getting lunch, Rachel It said. You just ran after them like a crazy person, and there just getting lunch.

"Okay, then, do you mind if I come with you?" Rachel was glad that she was able to think of this obvious solution, it wouldn't solve the problem indefinitely, but maybe she could talk it out with her over lunch, persuade her not to do it.

Quinn and Santana exchanged a look.

"Sure Rachel," Quinn said, voice hard. "Why don't you come to lunch with us?"

Santana drove, and Quinn sat in the passenger's seat beside her, leaving Rachel alone in the back. Rachel thought this was for the best, it would be even more awkward if they were closer together, but at the same time she felt disappointed, she missed Quinn's closeness.

"Where were you guys planning to eat?" Rachel said sweetly, breaking the silence, but her words were partly an accusation. They may not have decided where to pick up food for Brittany yet, if they weren't planning to eat food themselves originally.

"There's this new sandwich shop opening in the mall area by the school," Santana said. "We wanted to check it out."

The shop wasn't very crowded. They seemed to be the only people inside who were under twenty. Not many high school students skipped first period class, and the ones who did, didn't do it to go eat lunch. They were able to order quickly, (Rachel could only find one sandwich on the menu that was vegetarian) and Santana led them to a table at the back of the restaurant near a window.

"I'll be right back," Santana said. "I need to go get something for Brittany."

Quinn gave Santana a look that said don't you dare leave me here alone with her, but Santana glared back just as steadily. She already held Brittany's sandwich in her hand beside her own, but thanks to Quinn she also needed to buy Brittany some other gift, in the hope that it would make up for being away from her. She also hoped that if it was nice enough, Brittany would realize that she didn't have any time to do something with Quinn anyway, and think the whole point of their trip was to get her the gift.

"Santana's such a good girlfriend, don't you think?" Rachel said. "Always thinking of Brittany, even when she's not with her."

Quinn grimaced. "I do think of you Rachel," she murmured. "All the time."

Rachel slid her sandwich out of the bag. "Then why are you still lying to me?"

"I-...I'm not lying to you Rachel."

"Ugh, I hate how most places only have one vegetarian option...I'm not stupid, Quinn, I know you and Santana weren't just 'planning to get lunch'," Rachel felt a bit odd, her voice sounded different to her, what she was saying sounded different to her. Her anger was fueling the change, was fueling her confidence.

"I'm...Rachel you realize that I don't have any choice, right?"

"There's always a choice. But not for you, right? It wasn't your choice to sleep with Puck, and it isn't your choice to get an abortion, those are all just, predetermined facts right?"

"I didn't -don't- want either of those things to happen. I was pressured into what happened with Puck, and yes, I admit that I was also lonely, and drunk, and wanting you. But sex with him was horrible, awful, gross, just like it always is for me when it's with guys, okay? It didn't mean anything when I was with him, it felt so wrong, and that's why I needed to have it with you so badly afterwards, because with you it felt so right. Because I love you Rachel, I probably always will. But I can't have this baby, I would hate her, she would remind me of how I messed it up with you, and my parents would kill me before nine months was over."

"I wouldn't hate her," Rachel said quietly. "Do you know its a girl?"

"No, I, that's just the word I thought of."

"I don't think you hate this baby Quinn, I saw the way you put your hand on her in the parking lot. And even if you do hate her, you don't have to raise her. My mom can raise her, she still feels so guilty about abandoning me, she still wants me back, I know, the way that I was before, younger."

"Do you know for a fact that she would take her?" Her voice was curious, masking the hopefulness.

Rachel sighed. "I don't. But I know that if she won't than someone will. Hell Quinn, we could raise this baby together..." Rachel trailed off, she hadn't meant to say the last part.

Now light was gleaming in Quinn's eyes, but she wasn't naive enough to sound hopeful when she said, "You wanna get back together?"

"No, I, not now. But please Quinn. Do this for me, don't have an abortion for me."

"It's my body Rachel." Quinn said flatly.

"I know, and I know that it's unfair and too much to ask, but if you want to make it up to me, than don't do this. I'll help you with the baby, but please don't kill her."

"Why is this so important to you, Rachel?"

"Because my mom was going to kill me. She never said it but I just know, I know that she was really going to get an abortion. I think Chris, I think he must have stopped her..."

"You would always drag Shelby into everything wouldn't you?" Quinn said, dryly amused.

Quinn sighed heavily. "Fine. I love you too much Rachel. But you better be holding my hand when I squeeze this boulder out of me. And don't kill me if I accidentally scratch your hand."

Rachel smiled, a grin that slowly spread over her face into a teeth showing smile. "I'll remind you to cut your nails."