Matthew had moved, maybe too quickly, to sit down on his bed with his head in his hands; thinking over and over what had been going through his head when he'd done that. Well, he knew what, but what had he been thinking?! Had that whole thing been instinct?! For the first time that day, Matthew brought his wings out, feeling a great relief as he did so. He then inched back onto the mattress, curling up with his wings acting as a veil over his body. He was scared and didn't know what to say.

Ivan didn't know what to say either; he wasn't sure whether he wanted to bring up what had just happened and ask about it, or just act like it hadn't happened at all. He did feel like he should give Matthew some space though, so he quietly excused himself and went to take a bath. He used this time as an opportunity to just think, and for the first time in a long while, his thoughts were all about Matthew, and... just what were they doing?

He was coming to... His tongue ran tenderly over his bottom lip. It was still a little puffy and stinging from the bite that Khutulun had given him earlier... me right? I'm not over thinking this am I? With a sigh, Ivan sunk further into the tub, staring at his faint reflection in the water. It felt as though his emotions were getting mixed with the fake expressions that he had been practicing for his bride. What am I feeling? Is it real? Is Matthew feeling the same? Ivan shook his head feverishly to rid his mind of such outlandish thoughts. No. It's just— Matvey is lonely here in this castle. I... I leave him to himself and I go out to court a woman that could possibly become my future wife. It made sense and it was almost pitiful that Ivan only noticed now. He was soon going to have something that Matthew did not. The guardian had often said on their travels that he wanted a family after all, and Ivan— I may be taking away his time to find himself a wife. Even if he weren't, it would almost seem as if he were rubbing it in Matthew's face. I apologize Matvey; I should be more considerate...

By the time Ivan returned, Matthew was fast asleep. He was still curled up, though his body was much more relaxed and his wings lay limp, flooding the bed, one even rested on the floor. Ivan smiled softly and double-checked to make sure the door was locked before going to his own bed and getting in it. He lay awake for an hour or so, just thinking and watching the guardian sleep before he finally let his mind rest and fell asleep as well.

)*(

At dawn, Matthew woke a little earlier than he did most times and stretched out with a yawn. He was surprised at how fast he had fallen asleep last night. Remembering the previous night and the act that he'd almost committed caused a blush to appear on his face once more. I need to calm down. Ivan will... forget? He sighed sadly as he opened the window to let in the morning light, welcoming the cool breeze that came in. It felt nice as it danced over his feathers; he could feel the wind move under each one as he lifted his wings from the floor to rest against his back comfortably, and as he looked out across the castle grounds, his eyes and ears were drawn to two females, most likely out for a morning stroll.

"So you have made your decision then?" The older asked before the younger replied with a simple answer.

"Yes. I have indeed, mother."

North's wind! Is that the Queen and her daughter?! Matthew ducked under the windowsill; regardless of how far off the ground the room was, he did not want to be caught watching them. What were they doing out at an early hour such as this anyway? He knew he shouldn't eavesdrop, but he wanted to know— No, he had to know if she was going to marry Ivan.

The two continued talking as they passed under the window. "When do you plan on telling him?" The Queen asked.

"This evening at dinner, I have plans to take him to the training grounds today and perhaps challenge him to a friendly duel as well. I wish to see some of his strength in action before my bed is his."

"Khutulun, keep in mind that you will have to abide by his beliefs in marriage, not ours. So your bed will be anything but his until the ceremony, not when you have given him your word." The mother said firmly as they made their way under an archway to a different sector of the gardens. "Don't forget anything that I or your father have taught you."

The daughter stopped and with the opportunity to take a peek, Matthew thought she looked like she was going to argue with her mother, but then-

"A bird should be out to count worms, should he not have enough to make it through the day." Was that a family saying? Matthew hadn't a clue, but when he went back to paying attention, he found his gaze locked with Khutulun's fierce glare. Now, he'd swear that he hadn't squeaked and hidden like a child, but he had. He could almost hear the princess laugh at him. "You're not much of a manservant if you can't handle a stern look, are you?" With that she continued walking with her mother.

Matthew knew that he had just been insulted. But I don't care because that's not what I am to Ivan. The one thing he did know now was that Ivan was getting a wife. As he slinked away from the window, the realization set it and... he had never felt so sad and hurt in his life. He shouldn't be feeling this way; he should be happy and filled with pride. He had helped Ivan get the one thing that the man had set out for.

The guardian wasn't getting much slack this morning as he just about jumped out of his feathers when Ivan awoke with a groan, sitting up with a stretch. Matthew blinked a couple times before messing up his hair and trying to look like he was brushing it out. "Morning."

"Morning Matvey." Ivan turned his head to smile at the boy. After a moment or two, Ivan got out of bed to get dressed and ready for the day.

"Um. Have a—nice day Ivan and... best of luck." Matthew says as he sat on his bed, doing his best to smile. He was hiding his red eyes behind his messy hair, not wanting Ivan to know that he was just about to burst into tears.

Ivan looked over at Matthew, tilting his head a bit. Something felt off about the boy's behavior this morning, but he wasn't sure how to bring it up. After a moment he shrugged it off and smiled. "Thank you Matvey." He responds, going over and ruffling Matthew's hair affectionately. He then finished getting ready and left the room.

The guardian just about crippled over in near silent sobs as soon as the door was shut and locked. "I-it'll be alright, it'll be alright, Matthew. Y-you did it; you've helped Ivan find his m-" He took in a big gulp of air before becoming strangled by his own words. "M-mate..."

But— it's not... is it?

)*(

The day went as the princess had planned; after breakfast they spent the morning with light sword fighting, turning it into a bit of a game with body points and Ivan having bested her eighteen to three. The prince couldn't help with a bit of gloating, making the princess want to knock his teeth in, but it all was ended in laughter and a promise of revenge. Ivan grinned, as he doubted that she could truly beat him in anything other than archery.

After lunch she got into a bit of a sparring match with Ivan that she enjoyed far more than anything, and again Ivan won, though not as easily as he had won at sword fighting; she was hard to hold on to. With wrestling, dueling, and some bruising, the day had felt more like training, but Khutulun had gotten to know more about Ivan physically and she was more than pleased with her finds. Ivan was a very well suited man for her and she made it official in her mind. This is my King.Now she couldn't wait for dinner to come around, but this one was going to be with only Ivan, the Queen, and herself. No other family was going to be present at the same table when tonight's dinner took place.

)*(

The meal was wrapping up and it was nearly the time that Ivan normally excused himself for the evening and brought his "ill" manservant something to eat. The Queen was taking a sip of her wine when she turned to the young man. "Prince Ivan, would you mind staying for a little while longer before you settle in for the night?"

"No, I would not mind at all." Ivan replies, smiling at the Queen.

"My daughter has something to tell you." Her hand gestured to her daughter who nodded with a confident look.

He turned his head to look at Khutulun. "Oh?" He asks with a curious look. "Then by all means, tell me."

"After having taken the time to get to know you and thoroughly think everything through, I have chosen to take you up on your offer, Prince Ivan. I shall do my best to serve as your wife and queen." Khutulun gave a small smile and bowed her head as she waited for Ivan's reply.

A brilliant smile appeared on Ivan's face. "Wonderful! I am both honored and thrilled that you have accepted my offer. I greatly look forward to having you as my wife and queen, Princess Khutulun."

The Queen gave a delighted chuckle before speaking to Ivan. "I have just a few more questions for you before you retire for the night, Prince Ivan."

Ivan turned his attention to the Queen, his smile still in place. "By all means, ask away."

"I know it may be too soon to ask, but how much time do you think it will be until the wedding? I know this is not a question I should be asking you, but your mother. Although... seeing as only you are out here with a manservant, I can only guess that your mother has passed on."

Ivan tilted his head in thought, considering things for a few moments before answering. "Yes, you would be correct to guess that. And I will have to give notice of it first, but I should think it will be between six months and a year given how far apart our palaces are from each other."

"I'm sorry to hear that, I would imagine your mother would be very proud of you." She gives the man's arm a gentle pat before moving to her next question. "Should I lend a hand with the plans or do you plan to have your father help you?"

He smiled softly at her condolences. "My father would not get involved in this even if I asked. He has a daughter to marry off still after all and other things that are taking up his time." He says with a soft chuckle. "I greatly appreciate your offer, however if my step-mother does not lend a hand with the plans, then my elder sister surely will." An amused look appeared on his face. "She took it upon herself to fill a mother's role when we were younger, until our father remarried. So I have no doubts in my mind that she will want to be fully involved in the wedding plans."

"Ah, wonderful. Now my last question, will my daughter need to come back with you once you leave or will giving you the family seal do until the wedding day?"

"The family seal will do just fine."

"Very well, I shall have the document ready for you in the morning. I assume you will be rushing home to inform your family of the news right away." She smiled brightly.

Ivan laughed softly. "Yes, I will."

"Well, I bid you good night. Sleep well."

"Good night, my fiancé." Khutulun bows her briefly once more.

"Good night to you as well." He says to the Queen before turning to Khutulun and giving her a charming smile. "And good night to you, my future queen."

)*(

Today wouldn't have been much different than yesterday if not for the heartbreak; Matthew can't recall hurting this much over one person ever before. Sadly, today no amount of Ivan's shirts or other articles of clothing would spare him any pain, nor did being in the man's bed. After hours of trying and trying, Matthew gave up. He was running himself in circles and it was tearing himself apart inside. And... it all came down to one thing, trying to reassure himself that— that what he was doing was alright, that it wasn't wrong.

It's fine.

Nothing is wrong.

It's fine, Matthew.

Retreating to the bathing room, he drew himself a scorching hot bath and he stayed in there cleaning himself, even as the water burned and the scrubbing hurt. When another round of tears fell from his eyes, it was not due to the bath. Running his shaky hands over his eyes, Matthew spoke aloud, as if hearing the words aloud would give him more courage. "I-it's fine, it's fine... I-it's fine, everything is just fine M-Matthew, be strong... it's f-fine..."

Hours later after the bath water had become cold, the guardian got out of the tub. His skin and his body ached everywhere from being rubbed raw with soap. He was near certain that the only part of him that still smelled like him was his wings, which still had buds of moisture hanging on them from the steam at the start of the bath. At least now he was calm and felt in control of himself again, though no less miserable.

Matthew halfheartedly dried his shivering body before walking back into the bedroom and sitting down on Ivan's bed. It was still a mess of covers and clothing; even Ivan's pack was a mess from Matthew pulling the items out. The guardian took a deep breath as he looked to the floor, his wet hair clinging to his neck and face. He thought this over and over in his mind as he waited for Ivan to return from dinner with great news. "It's fine..."

)*(

Ivan nearly forgot to get food for Matthew in his excitement, but managed to make a plate for the boy before retiring to their room. He entered, grinning widely; the door shut and locked behind him and the plate set down on the bedside table swiftly. The prince might as well be dancing with how fluid the action was.

"Matvey! Guess what wonderful news I have to share." Matthew blinked away some newly forming tears, but didn't look up from the floor or move. He knew what.

Ivan was a bit confused when he didn't get a response and paused a moment to look at Matthew, blinking in surprise upon noticing the boy was nude with sopping wet hair. He frowned a little and then he noticed the covers of the bed in disarray, the clothing tossed about, and the mess by his bag. Those are my clothes...

"…Matvey…?" Something seemed off here; this was very odd of Matthew and the room never looked like this when he got back. The only response was the guardian's wings slowly lowering onto the bed, one of them sliding off the edge and becoming a puddle of feathers at his feet, though Matthew seemed not to notice.

Ivan knelt down in front of Matthew, then reaching out and gently holding Matthew's head up. "Matvey… look at me?" The blonde's face scrunched up a bit before he slowly opened his eyes a little, though his gaze was distant and unfocused. "Matvey?" Ivan softened his tone a little, dropping the frown and replacing it with a concerned look. "Matvey, please look at me?"

The young man does and tries to give Ivan a small smile, which Ivan was all to relieved to see, though the man still looked concerned. "Are you alright…?" Ivan asks carefully.

"Yes." Matthew whispered, finally speaking to the man.

"Are you sure...? The room is a mess and you are sitting here with dripping wet hair and no clothes on."

"I... took a bath."

"Yes, I can see that." Ivan smiles softly, removing his hand from Matthew's head. "But you will get sick if you do not dry off properly." He rose and went to grab a towel before returning to kneel in front of Matthew. The towel was placed over Matthew's head and Ivan started to rub his hair dry.

Matthew made no sound, not moving as the man's strong hands tossed about his hair, but slowly he moved in close to Ivan. After a little bit, Matthew made a sudden, swift move: his arms sprung up, wrapping around the prince's neck as his lips made contact with Ivan's in a deep kiss. Ivan's hands halted in their motions as he went completely still, a startled noise leaving his lips at the kiss as his eyes went wide in shock.

God, Matthew breathed in deeply, quivering and feeling a tight pinch in his chest from the sheer sensation. God, this feels good.

"Mat-" That was all he had the chance to say during the brief moment that the other inhaled before their lips were together again, deeper this time.

Matthew still couldn't believe it, Southwinds, did Ivan's lips feel better in person than in his dreams. He should stop, this should never have happened, but at the same time he couldn't help it with his need for the man's comfort, the season, and his bottled up feelings for the other. It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. Matthew's thoughts repeated to him. His hands began to roam into Ivan's hair, grasping at it gently as he pulled the prince in closer. Again his lips left the other's to tilt his own head slightly before kissing Ivan a third time with a more comfortable position.

Meanwhile, Ivan still hadn't moved or responded to the kiss at all yet, his mind reeling. What? What? Ivan's hands came up to grip Matthew's shoulders, but he didn't shove him away. He breathed through his nose as he tried to make sense of the situation and figure out how to respond to such an unexpected thing. Why?!

The guardian's movements didn't halt when the others hands grasped him, if anything, Matthew's kiss become a little hunger filled. He just couldn't bring himself to stop, it just felt too good and he needed it too much, had needed it for too long.

It took several more long moments before Ivan could get his limbs to listen to him properly. Gently, he pushed Matthew back and held him an arm's length away, eyes wide and cheeks pink. He looked startled, very confused, and very flustered. "M-Matvey-!" He gasps out in protest. "W-what-?"

At first the younger freezes, his eyes closed, expecting to be scolded. He opened his eyes a few moments later, a weak, hurt look in his eyes and his lips trembling as he tried to find words to say to explain this. Any scolding words Ivan had been about to say died in his throat at that reaction. He loosened his hold on the boy's shoulders before slowly letting his hands fall into his own lap, a confused look on his face. "Matvey…what...?" He just asks instead, his voice soft.

Matthew swallows and quickly speaks, though it came out sounding more like a whimper. "M-mate with me... p-please..."

Ivan's expression went blank in shock for several long seconds. His lips moved but no sound came out. It took a few tries before he could actually get words out past his shock. "I— what in the world is going on here?" His words weren't much louder than a whisper and his expression was both incredulous and absolutely baffled.

Matthew trembled a little and he decided to explain it as quickly and as simply as he could. What he had been telling himself all this time, what was fine to do; that there was nothing wrong. "I-I'm i-in heat, I-I feel like I'm going crazy, p-please Ivan..."

Oh. Well... That would explain the kissing. "Matvey I—" Ivan stumbled over his words as he spoke, not really sure how to handle this situation. "You—I-I just got engaged Matvey, I—"

"I-I know..." Matthew whimpered, dropping his gaze for a moment before looking the man in the eye. "I heard... this morning."

Ivan's eyes widened in shock. "T-this morning...?"

The guardian nodded, though his eyes grew extremely focused on Ivan's face, more so on his lips. "Though the window... the princess and queen were talking about it."

"O-oh, I see…"

"Ivan..." Matthew slowly reaches out to touch the prince, and he wished Ivan wanted the same, to touch him.

Ivan did not move away, but he did not move towards it either. "Matvey…" His expression showed he was clearly uncertain about this whole situation, unsure what was the right choice to make. He'd been in a lot of difficult situations in his life that he'd all handled decently for the most part, but this was one of the few times where he hadn't a single clue what the correct decision to make was.

"Please?" Matthew brought his hand back before contact was made. "I-I'm not asking you to give up your bride. I-I just—" He took a shaky breath. "I-I just can't take it anymore, being trapped in this room out of fear, with no one but you coming and going. G-going into heat— I t-tried, I really tried! For so long... b-but—!" He inhaled sharply, all of his words becoming whimpers as his hands were moved to grasp his own face."Y-you don't have t-to kiss me or hold me or be romantic. J-just mate with me... P-please, j-just one night a-and I wont e-ever ask anything of you a-again, I swear... P-please Ivan, you're the only one I— I can do this with... I-I'm scared."