WARNING: NSFW
Ivan wanted to protest; but Matthew's very last words struck deep and his shoulders slumped; he couldn't possibly say no when Matthew was so scared. "I— Alright…" He sighs softly as he hangs his head in defeat.
"R-really...?" Matthew almost couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"…Really."
"T-thank you." As his eyes began to sting, Matthew couldn't find a reason to care about tears. He felt so relieved that Ivan wasn't rejecting him or disgusted by his plea.
Ivan doesn't reply to that, but upon glancing up and noticing Matthew's expression, he gave a small frown and reached out to caress the other's cheek. "Don't cry Matvey." He murmurs as Matthew slowly reached for him; the guardian was shaking like a leaf.
Taking the frightened young man's hand, Ivan stroked the back of it with his thumb gently, to comfort him and to have a moment of thought. "...You know I'm not exactly... experienced in this area, don't you...?"
Matthew blinked in surprise before frowning softly as a feeling of guilt began to coil around him for asking this of Ivan. "N-nor am I..." The guardian was realizing how much he was taking away from Ivan by asking this of him; he had never really thought that Ivan would have kept to chastity. Is it important to Ivan? Matthew's heart ached from fear at these thoughts. A loss of virginity by the act of -as Ivan saw it- sodomy. Because of my selfishness... If it were true, then would Ivan feel tainted after this?
"Perhaps we should have let Francis teach more intimate lessons?" The winter prince suggests with a soft, awkward chuckle to break up the silent tension.
"M-maybe..." Matthew tried to laugh along, but his throat felt tight. "B-but I don't think you would have wanted that."
"No, I wouldn't have." Ivan admits with a wry smile.
The guardian fell quiet then, trying to calm himself down. Ivan had agreed and this would be more than enough to bring an end to his own selfish desires. "You... you can keep your clothes on i-if you'd like to." He says, looking over Ivan's clothed form nervously.
Ivan flushed faintly as he moved up off of the floor to sit next to the other. He still held one of the young man's hands in his as he hesitated for a few moments, unsure. Slowly, he leans forward and tentatively gives the other a kiss on the lips, causing Matthew to gasp softly and flinch away, his eyes downcast.
"Y-you don't have to-"
Ivan huffs softly, then cutting the other off with a mumble. "It's as good a place as any to start." He wasn't sure where else to start. Well, he knew, but the thought of just getting to it right away was more than a little uncomfortable and disconcerting.
Matthew nodded in understanding, mumbling a small apology as he closed his eyes. He had to let Ivan make his own choices about this. He was already pushing so much onto the prince; it wasn't right or fair. So now he let Ivan come to him, not pushing himself on Ivan like he had been doing before.
Ivan leaned forward again and kissed Matthew on the lips briefly before pulling back to speak. "It's... alright if you follow your instincts for this. Perhaps it will help."
Matthew opened his eyes a little. "I don't know... it's frightening. I may lose control again... b-but I will try."
"It will be alright if you do, I think." The prince murmurs, stroking the back of the other's hand soothingly with his thumb once more. "And," He gave a soft smile. "You don't need to be scared. I'm right here, right…?"
An ever so brief smile appeared on Matthew's face. "You're right." The young man closed his eyes again and leaned forward for another kiss. He did his best to move slowly, keeping the kiss soft and gentle for a long while, wanting to ease them both into it comfortably, but a moment or two later, Matthew began to make the kiss deeper, much their first kiss. Ivan seemed uncertain about this, but was trying to keep up despite his uncertainty.
To help get rid of the awkwardness between them, Matthew slowly pulled the man's hands to rest on his sides before placing his own on Ivan's; to which the prince gently pulled the blond closer to him in reply.
The guardian moved the kiss along more and as he did this he thought about how to get Ivan more comfortable, perhaps it would help him to think of this as mating with a female rather than a male. But Ivan surprised him and his thoughts were interrupted as he felt the trailing of the other's hand across his skin, tentatively exploring. He gave a small gasp and shivered from the touch as it continued, bare fingertips grazing down the line of his spine. There was a moments pause before a full hand caressed back up, resting just below the guardian's wings where it usually rested before dancing, and stroking the skin there ever so softly. The guardian's wings reacted with the shivers of his body, giving a little jolt, and fluttering ever so slightly, reminding Ivan of the time he was told of the other's sensitivity.
While their kissing continued, Matthew hummed in off tones, his fingers now running through the prince's hair as Ivan smiled a little. "Does that feel good?" He asks in a murmur, stroking the spot below the other's wings again softly as a faint moan slipped out from Matthew.
"Y-yes. Very. Don't stop... please." The young man stuttered out in a hushed tone, then kissing Ivan with a bit of hunger for the other.
"Alright." The prince breathes into the kiss, causing Matthew to give a sharp whimper when he continued the soft stroking.
The guardian's hands slowly dropped to explore more of Ivan's clothed backside, his heart pounding against his rib cage mercilessly. If Ivan were to reach up a little bit more he could grab hold of the feathered base of his wings, and Matthew wanted that. He wanted Ivan to run his hands though his feathers.
Just imagining it makes my stomach flip in the strangest way.
Ivan, like the wonderful man Matthew sees him to be, practically reads his wings' language. He breaks the kiss to breathe a whisper in the young man's ear. "Let me know if there is anything in particular you would like for me to do." He then leaves soft, experimental kisses trailing from Matthew's jaw to his neck.
The guardian trembles, breathing heavily as his face finally becomes flushed red. He was more than grateful for Ivan's willingness to comply with his needs; he could have cried. Ivan was always so good to him, too good to him. "F-feathers..." He almost whimpers. "M-my feathers... Please."
Ivan takes both of his hands and slowly, tenderly slides them up the base of the guardian's wings and into the feathers, stroking them softly. He was a bit taken aback by the texture. It was so soft and plush there; warm even, like a kitten's fur and gentle silk ribbons. A most odd first connection, but the feathers just felt so delicate that he didn't think he was doing anything for the other. "Like this...?"
Matthew doesn't get a chance to speak. He cries out sharply, startling Ivan for a moment and leaving himself feeling winded. His wings spread to the point that they shook, unable to stretch out any further as his back arched as far as Ivan's hands would allow him to. His breathing was ragged, sounding like he was almost having trouble with it, but before he could gather himself from such an embarrassing display, Ivan leaned forward and captured his lips in another kiss.
The prince ran his fingers though Matthew's feathers; experimenting with the amount of pressure he put on certain spots. He was breathing heavily as well, Matthew's sounds making him shiver a little in pleasure. He'd be lying if he were to say he didn't want to hear the other make that sound again.
The guardian gasped and moaned at every movement of the man's large, gentle hands through his feathers, doing his best not to break the kiss with Ivan. His wings twitched from the strain as he was flooded with arousal. His body felt like it was on fire and he wanted Ivan to feel what he was feeling, wanted Ivan to experience this overwhelming rush of pleasure. So tentatively and gently, he moved one hand to caress around the other's ear, a light warning of his intentions. He then lightly dipped his fingers under the fabric of Ivan's scarf, just testing to see if he was okay with it after everything that had happened.
There was a soft, startled gasp from Ivan at the presence of fingers so near his neck, his own fingers stilling in Matthew's feathers. He took a few moments just to breathe, and when he speaks, his voice is just barely above a whisper. "You may remove it."
"If you're sure." Matthew says softly, using both hands to unwind the soft cloth and carefully set it aside. He took one last look over Ivan's neck before softly running his fingers over the scarred flesh of the man's neck, glancing up to double check that it really was acceptable for him to do this. This wasn't like Matthew's feathers; he had asked for the touch, Ivan hadn't.
Ivan's breath hitched softly at the touch as a soft shudder ran through him, his breath shuddering as well when he exhaled, and Matthew smiled brightly for the first time that day. It felt amazing to bring Ivan pleasure and he wanted to give him more; he wanted Ivan to feel good too. He was a little unsure at first, but he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on one of the larger scars on the man's neck.
Oh. "That feels wonderful..." The man whispers breathlessly as his fingers twitched, tightening around the feathers slightly, causing Matthew's breath to catch. The guardian's whole body was shuddering, but now with Ivan's approval, the young man placed more kisses and even a few soft licks along the grooves of scarred skin.
Those sensations brought forth soft, wavering moans and shivers from Ivan, his eyes fluttering briefly. His hands and breathing were both a little shaky as he resumed stroking the feathers, causing Matthew to moan against his throat and shiver at the feeling. As the guardian decided to add in the movement of his hands over the skin that was currently not being given the loving attention of his lips and tongue, a choked moan left the prince's lips. His eyes fluttered shut as he tilted his head back, baring his throat to give the guardian more access; that, if anything, showed how much he trusted Matthew.
As his fingers gripped at the base of the wings tighter for a moment, it brought forth another sharp, but beautiful cry from the blond's lungs moments before he was pulled onto Ivan's lap. One arm was wrapped around Matthew's waist, while his free hand went back up to stroke the base of the wings, earning another soft cry of pleasure from the guardian as he was planting more kisses and licks on Ivan's neck.
Matthew felt a new form of pleasure as he was pressed against Ivan and it made a moan build up in his throat, but he held it in. Oh god, what is- Oh! It's- It was his member pressed up against Ivan's evening coat; most likely poking the prince in the belly from all the touches Matthew was being graced with, not that Matthew minded, though he hoped Ivan didn't mind either. To be honest, he had never thought it would feel this amazing just to be touch and be touched by Ivan.
After another minute or so, the prince gently pulled away from the touches to his neck, removing his hand from Matthew's feathers and instead lightly tracing patterns on the skin in the small of his back. He kissed down the other's neck softly, moving to do the same to his shoulders and collarbone to give them both a chance to catch their breath.
The feeling of Ivan's lips down his neck was not as powerful as the prince would feel it, it still felt wonderful and the guardian gave many mewls of praise at the caring touch. Soon, the young man brought his hands to gently glide over Ivan's chest; even through all of the heavy fabrics, Matthew could still feel the man's strength. Hearts were pounding in a wild symphony within their chambers as hands grasped at familiar, yet foreign bodies and he couldn't help but feel grateful that the pause to catch their breath gave him a once in a lifetime chance to explore Ivan like he never could before. He wanted to memorize everything about Ivan's body while he could; every scar, every muscle, every dip, and rough edge.
"You may remove my coat and shirt if you would like to." Ivan murmurs against the guardian's soft skin after a few minutes of placing kisses on his shoulders and collarbone. "They're rather stifling right now." He felt overheated and the shirt and coat still being on him was sure to be part of the reason for that.
Matthew felt uncertain, but Ivan seemed to want this as well so he complied. His hands were a little shaky at first as he began opening up the coat. He couldn't help but feel a little excited; Matthew couldn't deny himself that much.
Once the coat and shirt had been tossed aside, the guardian leaned forward, ever so slightly resting his head against Ivan's chest as his arms wrapped lazily around the man's waist. He took a deep breath, taking in Ivan's scent after a day's workout but before a bath. "South winds... You smell incredible." He moaned out softly, though it was more like a purr.
Ivan could feel his cheeks heat up. "Really…?" He sounded a bit skeptical though the guardian's tone of voice sent a thrill through him and made his pants feel tighter.
Matthew blushed as he could just barely feel the growing arousal underneath his own upper thigh. "Yes... you smell wonderful, Ivan." He purred, letting his arms tighten around the other's torso as he took another deep breath. He was a countryman so the smell of the earth and hard work was refreshing. It reminded him of home, of what life had been before; a good day's work on his small till of land, earth under his feet and nails, odd runabouts for deliveries in the village... He could practically feel the sun on his skin.
Ivan pulled the young man closer until their chests were flush up against each other and both of them shuddered at the wonderful feeling of skin on skin, Matthew placing a soft kiss on Ivan's shoulder as the man held him close and nuzzled him softly, both content with their embrace for the moment. A full minute or two passed like this before Ivan spoke softly in Matthew's ear. "…What would you like for us to do next?"
"I-... I don't know." The guardian relaxed and tried to let his instincts take over, because he didn't know if either of them were ready for the biggest part of the actual mating yet. Slowly, he felt something that he believed his body was guiding him to do. The young man was confused, but let his body lead him into what felt like a rotation of his hips and a slight motion down. It was very slow and at first he didn't think he was really doing much of anything, but the second time he went a little faster, used slightly more pressure, and emitted a small, shrill sound as he felt his lower region pulse with heat. There was a soft gasp from Ivan at the suddenness of it, followed by a small noise of pleasure as well, and Matthew's face flushed deeply as he had just grinded down onto the prince's lap. He hadn't meant to be invading Ivan's private area so forcefully; fear came at him fast and he tried to push away. "S-s-sorry, I-I'm sorry… m-my body—!"
Hands came up to gently cup Matthew's face as foreheads were pressed together carefully. "Shh, shh, shh…" Ivan coos, a soft concerned look on his face as he tenderly stroked the guardian's cheeks with his thumbs. "It's alright, I understand. Don't be afraid of your instincts…" Smiling softly, he gave the young man a short but sweet peck on the lips. "And don't worry about upsetting me. If I'm not enjoying it, I'll tell you. If I don't say anything, assume that I'm enjoying it... alright?"
Matthew takes a deep, shaky breath before nodding a little. "Y-you're still wanting to do this...?"
"Mm." Ivan gives a slight nod and smiles at the young man reassuringly.
The guardian doesn't say or do anything for a little bit, needing to build up the courage to trust his body again. Ivan is completely fine with waiting, lowering his hands slowly to rest on the other's waist gently, his fingertips lightly tracing patterns on the skin there.
Once Matthew's ready, he closes his eyes before giving Ivan a soft grind, pausing to enjoy the feeling before doing it again as soft sounds of enjoyment come from both of their lips at the friction. It felt nearly as good as touching each other's particular erogenous zones, and the blond continued with the movements, adding a little more pressure each time and it wasn't long before Ivan ground up as Matthew was grinding down, making the guardian gasp in both surprise and delight and dragging a soft moans from both of their lips. "A-again... please."
Ivan nodded and repeated his actions with the added pressure of his hands pulling Matthew down onto him. He gave another pleased sound, his breaths trembling a bit; shudders ran though them both as this cycle repeated, the pressure steadily being increased to bring more pleasure, and it continues until Matthew begins to whimper, finding that the sensations just weren't enough anymore.
This time when Ivan came to meet his grind, instead of moving down, he pulls back, pushing his knees into the mattress as he falls onto his backside, bringing Ivan down on top of him. A small grunt escapes him as the man's form squishes him for a moment, but he doesn't seemed bothered at all and even rolls his hips up against Ivan's thighs. "H-how are you holding up...?" Matthew swallows thickly as he slowly rubs one of his legs against Ivan's, liking the small tingling he felt run up his thigh.
"Fairly well." Ivan says as he quickly situated himself so he wasn't squishing Matthew. "Though I can't recall a time when these pants have ever felt tighter." His already flushed cheeks darkened in color as the words left his lips. Matthew blushed deeply at this as well and couldn't help but look down to see for himself, bringing Ivan to blush a bit more, not needing to look to know how tight they were.
After a moment Matthew reaches down to undo the buckle around Ivan's waist. "Are you in pain...?"
"No... Though it is not very comfortable." The prince replies with an awkward smile.
"W-why didn't you say so sooner?" Matthew tossed the belt aside and grasped the top of his trousers, then freezing to look up at Ivan. The prince blushed and gave a little shrug at the question before gesturing that it was fine for him to continue what he had been doing. Matthew then gave a few quick tugs until the clothing was pooled around the man's knees, and while pressure was relieved somewhat, one garment still remained. Upon the removal, Ivan gave a slight gasp as the cool air hit his bare skin, though gave a content little sigh afterwards, greatly relieved to have the restricting cloth gone.
Matthew blushed brightly; when their bodies were like this, they looked so different than when they'd shared a bath. His heart sped up as he then realized that they had reached the last stage in mating and his eyes were quick to look up to the man hovering over him. Being this close made Matthew's body feel like it was aching, almost hurting, wanting more. He couldn't do this on his own either; he needed Ivan's instincts to kick in as well.
The guardian laid his head back down as he drew up his feet tentatively so they were closer to his hips, he then parted his knees and could feel the area around his hips throbbing as he did so. His face couldn't get any more flushed and he hoped that either Ivan understood or his instincts would guide him. He really didn't feel like explaining this part to him, but he would if the other needed it. After all, the prince was being kind enough to go through with this with the male guardian.
After a moment, Ivan leaned down and kissed Matthew softly; they were both in a delicate state in one way or another, and one misguided act could shatter their emotions. "I know the basics of how it works with a woman... but not with a man." He was blushing quite a bit at needing to ask. "Well- I know where, but... not how to do that without hurting you." He mumbles. "I don't suppose you know…?"
Matthew let out a somewhat shaky breath, relieved that he didn't have to explain, but slowly shook his head in response. "S-sadly I— I do not know. At most, I've only dealt with couples once or twice that have a same sex partner... but never about this, or anything to do with this." He frowned and looked away from Ivan, his hands shaking as they rested on his torso. He was feeling a bit spooked again, both from thinking about pain and from not knowing what to do. "B-but..." I still want this.
There had to be a way that this could be done without any pain. It wasn't likely that it would be an easy place to slip into after all. Slip...? "C-could you get up for a moment? I'm going to get something..."
"Of course." Ivan sits up and moves to sit beside the guardian, watching as Matthew crawled across the bed and over to their bags. After a moment, the prince took this as an opportunity to untangle his trousers from his legs as well as untie and remove his boots.
Matthew soon returns to his spot and holds the purple lily vial out to Ivan, his hand shaking slightly. "Here... This should help." It couldn't hurt to try with an added substance.
Ivan blinked in surprise and reached out, taking the vial from the young man with a slight nod.
"Do you... know what to do with it?"
"I-I'm fairly certain…?" The man replies, blushing embarrassedly.
"J-just... Don't use a lot. It would be similar to drinking too much." The guardian says softly, not making eye contact.
"Of course." Ivan says just as softly, giving a small nod, but taking notice as Matthew sat there with his arms around his legs; looking too nervous to lay back. Is he still scared? The prince set the vial down on the bed and shifted closer to the young man, reaching out and gently rubbed his biceps in what he hoped was a soothing manner. "Matvey?"
"Yes?" The young man looked Ivan in the eye, getting a small shiver from the touch.
"If it's of any comfort to you...I'll try not to hurt you."
Matthew smiled slightly. "I know... Should I lay down now?"
"That would probably help." Ivan smiled back. He waited patiently as Matthew slowly laid back and shifted a little to make sure his wings were in a comfortable position. When the guardian was ready, Ivan moved back over him. He took the lead this time, kissing the other deeply and letting his hands gently roam the young man's body. He even ran his fingers through the feathers a few times, wanting both of them to be absorbed in the moment again before they progressed any further.
The gentle caresses of each other's skin slowly brought forth pleasure and soft sounds as they both enjoyed the feeling of warm flesh under their hands while they relaxed and let go of their uneasy thoughts.
Had Ivan opened the vial when he'd first been given it, Matthew might have been too nervous to try. However, now that he was riled up once more, he felt eager to do it, even if he didn't know what to expect. He just hoped the prince wouldn't use too much on himself or they would both feel more than just a tingling sensation in the morning.
Ivan used only as much as he thought necessary, though it was much colder than he'd expected when he slicked himself with it. He put the stopper back in the vial and set it aside before moving up close and positioning himself. "Ready?" He asks quietly, placing a hand on the other's hip and looking down at him for confirmation.
Matthew's breath catches a little and his heart speeds up a little in anticipation as he looks up at Ivan and nods, giving the other a small smile before lowering his eyes to watch. He's curious and nervous, but he trusts the other man completely.
Ivan takes a deep breath before starting to press in slowly, his breath hitching but his eyes locked on Matthew's face, watching as the guardian flinches a little at the feeling. He goes still when the young man's face scrunches up in pain and he shifts, reaching to stroke the other's wings soothingly. His breathing is a little shallow at the feeling as he leans down to kiss Matthew softly. "Is it too much?"
"N-no." The guardian relaxes slightly at the touches to his wings and he returns the kiss before speaking. "G-go on, I'm fine. Just something new to my body."
"Alright. Just let me know if it- hurts too much." The prince breathes out before he starts to press in slowly.
"I-I-! I will." The sensation was very uncomfortable for the guardian and it hurt, but he could bare it, surely it couldn't hurt more. Even if his breath was hitching every time Ivan moved, even if it was hardly any movement at all.
Ivan continued to press in slowly until he was about a third of the way in and then he stilled, moaning lowly and breathing heavily.
The guardian was breathing heavily as well and his breath would hitch if he so much as adjusted his foot. His eyes were closed tightly and he was doing his best to hide the pain. The first time always hurts... He repeats like a chant in his mind, as if it would help him through it, but dear god did it hurt. It was a miracle that he hadn't cracked yet. Please don't move…
Ivan's head lowered to rest on Matthew's shoulder while he moaned at the feeling of the other tightening around him. "Try to relax..." He breathes, stroking one of the young man's wings softly. "I-it may make this easier for us."
Matthew nodded. "Ivan... B-before you mo-ve..." He pants out against Ivan's neck. "Reach under me...grab the ba-ses of my wings... instead of my sides." It would work better that way; Ivan could help keep him relaxed and also have something to grip when he moved in deeper.
Ivan nods, just breathing for a few moments longer before slipping his hands underneath the other and grabbing the base of each wing. "Like this?"
A small moan came from Matthew lips and he gave a small nod. "Yes. J-just like that." He then made an effort to breath as deeply and slowly as he could manage; he had to loosen up, even just a little so Ivan could come closer. Even if it felt like he was being ripped open, he focused on Ivan; he wasn't worried for the other though, as it looked like the prince was receiving too much pleasure from this.
Ivan waited a few moments after the guardian had eased up before breathing a warning that he was moving again. He rubbed the base of the wings gently as he resumed, slowly easing himself into the young man more.
Matthew whimpered and his wings flexed, mixes of pleasure and pain running through him; Ivan's hands felt wonderful on his wings, but at the same time the man was slowly forcing the guardian's body to make room for him. As painful as it was, it was not unwanted. Matthew so desperately wanted this, to be one with Ivan, even if in the end he felt nothing but pain. The young man swallowed, almost yelping a few times as his inner muscles clenched, trying to stop the intrusion.
Ivan kept pressing in slowly, stopping when Matthew clenched around him, waiting for the young man to relax before continuing. He rubbed the bases of the wings as he moved, lifting his head to capture the guardian's lips in a deep kiss, wanting to distract him from the pain he was undoubtedly feeling.
When he was what felt like two-thirds of the way in, Ivan paused once more, giving them both time to breathe and relax a little. Matthew felt wonderful and he wasn't even fully in yet. It's so warm... like the hot spring. However, he did feel bad that he was causing the young man so much pain; he'd clearly heard Matthew give a gasp and a pained groan of relief when he'd stopped moving.
Matthew was breathing heavily, shaking, and starting to sweat. He admired Ivan's control over his own body; he wished he had the same so he could stop tightening up around the other. Unfortunately, thinking about how snug he was around Ivan made him reflexively clench his muscles together. His hands grasped at the covers and his toes curled as a few tears finally fell from his eyes. "Gi-!" God that hurt; he needed to breathe, to relax; he didn't want to hurt Ivan. But it hurts! It hurts so much!
For Ivan, it was a suffocating sensation both inside and out, and he groaned as the guardian tightened around him. Truthfully, this level of self-control was rather difficult to accomplish. He wanted to be fully immersed, to move, but he didn't want to hurt Matthew more than the young man already was hurting either. "Breathe..." He murmurs, gently kissing the tears away and nuzzling the young man, his fingers caressing the bases of his wings. "Relax."
"I-... I-I'm... trying." Matthew's breath wheezed as he gasps for air. The other's touch was helping at least a little, but he would need more.
"I know." Ivan replies softly. "Don't tense up... against the pain." He presses soft tender kisses to Matthew's skin to distract him even a little. "Just bare with it… it should go away soon enough." Or so he hoped.
"Y-you really want... me to let it happen?" Matthew asks as he tries to focus his eyes on Ivan.
"Yes... tensing up will— hurt more."
"P-promise me this... D-don't stop, unless I-I need you to."
"I promise." The second the words had left his lips the prince couldn't help but wonder if he would soon regret such a promise.
"T-thank you..." Matthew took a slow breath, closing his eyes as he focused on all the pain and horrible weight he felt in his hips and riding up his spine.
He takes a shaky breath.
One.
Tears well up in his eyes.
Two...
A choked sob leaves his lips.
T-three...
The tears start falling quickly as the guardian lets the pain be carried throughout his body and soon he's crying; shaking as he wails out in pain. Hiccups wrack his body as the sobs become more agonizing with every sharp inhale. The young man hid his face in his hands so the other didn't have to see him cry, even if that did little of anything at this point. The other thing that was happening that couldn't be seen was that the guardian's natural healing abilities could do nothing, even as the energy jumped around his body looking for the injury, it was all wasted.
Ivan pulled Matthew close, caressing his wings tenderly as he slowly pressed in the rest of the way, while the guardian cries and wails as he is fully stretched to fit him. Somewhere within, a part of Ivan cried out in relief as he was fully sheathed, and tightly too. For a brief moment his jaw lay slack, but his words came low and not by his own will. "So hot..." God, Matthew was so tight and the heat was stifling. The sensations were overwhelming, but he could feel his body shaking for more; he wanted to feel more. He gave himself a few brief moments to breathe, but no longer since he had promised Matthew that he wouldn't stop.
The guardian was still shaking and lightly sobbing under the man, but had pulled his hands away from his face to wrap them around the prince's shoulders, to hold him. Whether it was for Ivan or Matthew himself, he didn't know, nor did he care, perhaps they both needed it. Either way, Ivan leaned down into the embrace, holding him close and stroking the bases of his wings to relieve as much of the pain as possible. It was only for the brief moment that Ivan stopped that things had become quieter. No wails, no great sobs coming from the younger male, but this small moment would not last long. Ivan slowly started to thrust in and out, nuzzling the other gently and murmuring an apology for the pain.
Matthew realizes too late that he just might have asked the worst promise for Ivan to keep. He could be crushing this man's heart as he lay here taking in all the pain. This same man that couldn't even stand the memories of the guardian falling out of a window, an event that he himself didn't even so much as shed a tear for. But here Matthew was, writhing in pain beneath the man he cherished most in the world, crying out, after making him promise not to stop unless he was told to.
Matthew cries, whimpering, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" almost every moment that he can. For Ivan to go on while the younger man sobs right in his arms… it must be painful. Excruciating. To be the sole reason for one's pain, to hear their suffering and not be given the choice to stop. To not comfort them as you always have.
It was painful, it made Ivan's heart ache; he knew the reason the young man was saying it, but he felt like he should be the one saying it. The sobs and wails from Matthew were painful to listen to and he hated that it was his fault. Hated that the tears were because of him and that he couldn't do anything to change that. He had promised he wouldn't stop unless he was told to, but it was harder than he'd thought it would be. His body wanted more of the pleasure, but his heart was screaming at him to stop hurting Matthew. For the moment, he settled on just letting his body overrule his heart because he'd promised not to stop.
Screams of agonizing pain echo off the walls as Matthew let the pain wash through him. Ivan's thrusts are slow, but he could feel the contracting and stretching of his walls. If there had been any injury to the guardian though, it was long gone; his healing was going wild. It was pulsing like blood beneath his skin, overflowing into Ivan's body.
Ivan was suddenly aware that he could feel his and Matthew's hearts beating out of sync. It was an odd, almost unreal feeling, like Matthew's heartbeat was an echo of his or that his was an echo of Matthew's. He gave involuntary jolt of surprise at an abrupt pain, his grip tightening for a few moments as he feels a bit winded. While he'd felt worse and the pain was hardly bothersome, he can't understand why he could suddenly feel pain; it made no sense. In addition to the pain, there was also a feeling of love and of loneliness, but it was an almost ethereal emotion; it didn't feel like it was his. It didn't seem to belong, but it was there nonetheless.
Matthew was beginning to fear that Ivan would never want to touch him again after this. Would Ivan hold this against the guardian his whole life? Cast him out for forcing such things onto him? Yes, it hurt Matthew greatly and he kind of did want to stop, but it had briefly felt incredible, and— Just once. I want to be held, kissed, touched... loved, by this man... by Ivan. Even if it's all in my head... just once I wish to be a part of him.
Ivan closes his eyes tightly and presses his face into the side of Matthew's neck, his breaths shuddering as his thrusts gradually picked up speed as he lets his body do what it wanted to. The guardian's body felt so good, unbelievably good around him, but God Matthew's screams hurt to listen to.
It hurt so much at the start, the cries he gave. With every thrust Ivan gave, Matthew felt like he was choking on his own breath. However the more Ivan picked up speed the less the guardian screamed or cried, to the point that the prince had gotten to where all the young man would do is breathe or pant heavily with a silenced grunt or a pained hiss. Matthew was able to handle the pain better now and keep himself relaxed for the other.
Ivan was greatly relieved when Matthew stopped crying and screaming in pain. He was glad that the guardian was able to stay relaxed now and even moaned softly now that he could focus on something other than how much he was hurting the other. It seemed highly unfair that Matthew was in so much pain for something he'd wanted to do in the first place though. Ivan let go of the base of one of the wings, slipping his free hand out from under the young man, reaching between the two of them instead to stroke Matthew's limp arousal.
Matthew gave a startled gasp from Ivan's strokes, but it did feel good and he was able to moan lightly for the first time in a while. That little moan encouraged Ivan to stroke it a bit firmer, occasionally brushing his thumb across the tip. He wanted the guardian to feel pleasure like he was.
Matthew continued the soft moans until Ivan struck something inside of him; it was like a surge of heat washing over him, numbing all the pain for the moment it happened. With a sharp intake of air the guardian's whole body locked still, clamping up; his arms and legs tightened around Ivan's form, even the young man's insides held him.
Ivan's breath hitched as Matthew tightened around him; the other was practically clinging to him. It didn't seem like the younger man was in pain from it though, more like he was surprised by it. The guardian tried to say something, but his voice was too strained, so Ivan thrusts in the same place again, pulling his head back a bit to watch the other's expression as he did so. The young man's eyes went wide as he gasped again, his face reddening, still wet from the tears before. He then tightly shut his eyes as he let out the biggest moan yet since they started, sending a shiver down the prince's spine. Most of Matthew's body instantly became limp, aside from him doing something he never expected himself to do; he pressed his hips back against Ivan and gave a quiet whimper. "A-again... please."
Ivan looked a bit surprised at Matthew's reaction, mainly that the guardian had pressed back against him, though at the whimpered plea, he gave a bit of a nod and aimed to hit that spot each time he thrusts. "G-good?"
Matthew could barely nod in reply, his moans still just as big as the first and somehow, he got another "Again." out. Ivan nodded, moaning at how the other clenched around him when he did so. His hand resumed stroking the other as well, trying to match the speed of the strokes with his thrusts.
Matthew was panting and moaning with pleasure. He wondered if it could get any better, and if so, how? He wanted that— for both of them. To be filled with pleasure with Ivan.
The prince continued to thrust and stroke, leaning down to capture Matthew's lips in a kiss. This felt wonderful and it felt even better now that he knew the guardian was feeling pleasure instead of pain. It was even more pleasurable when the other started pushing his hips up to meet Ivan's thrusts; it felt unbelievable.
The guardian moaned even louder, rolling his hips as he lightly grasped at Ivan's neck, forcing a gasp and a moan from the prince. Thrusting a little bit harder and getting slightly erratic, Ivan could feel a greater heat and pressure start to build between them as he continued his actions.
"Ah!" Matthew's walls begin tightening from the building weight and heat he feels growing and his voice is dripping in moans and pleasure. He never thought that he'd feel this good in his life. "Ivan."
The prince moaned as Matthew tightened around him, thrusting more erratically at the feeling building up. "Matvey." He pants out, still stroking the wing and rubbing his thumb across the tip of the young man's arousal.
Matthew's body couldn't take any more of Ivan's penetration and touching. The guardian threw his head back with the loudest moan of pleasure as his whole body tensed and he released into the other's hand. Ivan gave a choked off moan as he tightened around him and Matthew wrapped his legs tightly around the prince's waist as the man climaxed. His wings came up to blanket the pair after that; it was a bit of an instinct, to keep away the cool air. Matthew didn't care if they got covered in sweat.
Ivan panted, wiping his hand off on the sheets before wrapping both arms around the guardian again and holding him close. The feathers felt nice against his back as he gave Matthew a chaste kiss, pressing their foreheads together and just looking at the other while they basked in the afterglow.
After the guardian wasn't breathing as hard, he gave Ivan a tiny smile. He didn't really know what to say at this moment, all he knew was that he didn't want it to end; he didn't want this to end. Matthew wanted to be able to hold Ivan when he wanted to, to share a bed with him without needing a reason, to kiss him without any rejection, and to love him without fear. But... after this night, things would be going back to normal. Ivan would be married in a year, become king, and build a family while Matthew… would be here, in Vernal, and he would maybe get to see Ivan once a year.
The prince smiled back softly, shuddering slightly as he pulled out of Matthew's heat. He didn't move much more other than that though, content to embrace the other and be embraced by him for the moment.
"No, s-stay... please..." Matthew shut his eyes and gave a small whimper, his arms tightening the embrace; he didn't want Ivan to leave.
Ivan swore his heart had skipped a beat when he'd pulled out and he unintentionally tightened his grip just a little at the following feeling of a rising panic that wasn't his. "Shh, I'm not going anywhere." He murmurs softly.
"B-but." The guardian started hyperventilating, but he couldn't find the words. All he knew was that he felt like Ivan was going to leave, even his instincts were telling him keep the man close; it was confusing.
He needed to calm and think with a clearer mind. It didn't make sense that his instincts were affecting his thoughts right now. His instincts should still be set on the season, but he shouldn't be feeling pushed by them for a while, not after he just- Matthew's eyes suddenly opened, darting off to the side, just barely spotting the vial amidst the mess of blankets and clothes. Oh no.
His head quickly started spinning and clouding over, he now understood why his instincts- no. It wasn't really instinct; it was the season, his hormones. Because they had used the medicine for lubrication, it was now in their systems. Well, Matthew's system definitely and now it'd had had long enough to take effect, aiding his body with recovering. It wasn't specific on how, so on something like this... It was still possible that it worked.
The guardian took a deep breath through his nose to try and keep himself calm. Bad idea. He got drowned in a flood of Ivan's scent. God… He smells even better after mating… Matthew bit his lip; he couldn't lose himself again. If he waited too long he wouldn't be able to let Ivan go. So with a shaky breath, he forced himself to let his arms and legs go limp, but he couldn't move them from the prince. He just wanted to hold him a little longer without his body taking control. "I-Ivan… You have to push me away, I can't- I can't…" His heavy breathing and hazy mind was making it hard for him to talk coherently.
Ivan was confused, from Matthew's words and actions as well as from the lingering ethereal emotions he could sense. He took slow breaths, trying to get his bearings amidst the foreign feelings. He'd heard what the other had said, but for some reason he was reluctant to listen. He didn't want to leave Matthew's embrace yet; he wasn't ready to. "Why?" He whispers in concern, trying to look the other in the eyes. "What's wrong?"
Matthew closed his eyes, unable to meet Ivan's gaze; he felt pitiful. His words were feeble, as he did not wish to share his reasons. "I... I fear I may seek more if we stay close."
The room was silent aside from their breathing for several long moments while Ivan thinks that over in his mind. When he breaks the silence, his voice is soft and slow. "What- do you... need?"
"Don't. Please don't." Matthew whimpers. "I-I've already asked for too much."
Ivan gives a soft sigh and shifts slightly, bringing a hand up to brush the sweat-damp hair from the young man's face. It wasn't really in the way, but he was sure the gesture would get the guardian's attention; it might even get him to open his eyes. "Matvey, I'm serious." He says gently. "What do you need?"
The guardian's eyes opened ever so slightly. "Right now...Just you, Ivan... Just you."
As Ivan could feel the loneliness that was not his own return, he couldn't help but wonder if perhaps these foreign emotions had something to do with the way guardians were. "In what way?" He asks as he locks eyes with the young man. "...I'm here for you."
Matthew's hold tightened on Ivan once more, pulling him closer so that his forehead rested against the man's shoulder. While he had no idea what the future held, indecent thoughts did cross his mind once more when Ivan asked. Even when they had just finished and Ivan had no reason to continue.
"Could you move one of your wings?" Ivan whispers after a few moments of silence. "I'm going to roll us over but I don't think I can do so with your wings where they are." The wings moved without hesitation. It was cooler without their coverage, but Ivan didn't mind, and after a moment, he slowly rolled them so he could lie on his back and so Matthew could rest on top of him. The wings lowered to lay as a blanket over them as Matthew snuggled in close, a familiar feeling of happiness beginning to return.
Ivan smiled softly, closing his eyes and holding him close. He wasn't entirely sure if the feeling of happiness was his own or not, but either way he was content to hold the other right now. After a few moments he even pressed a soft, tender kiss to the guardian's temple.
Matthew's breath hitched at Ivan's kiss and a few tears rolled down his cheeks as he shut his eyes, face nestled in close to Ivan's neck as he tried to get some sleep.
Hello all! GQ and RQ here, we are sorry for the slow updates in all the stories. Some of you who follow us on tumblr may already know of the changes in our free time over the past few months. But I (RQ) am here to tell you that I have finished my extra classes and now have much of my free time back. Thus I shall be working on all the stories more often. (Maybe with luck we can get back to the once a week updates that we once had. XD)
Thanks for sticking around and we hope that you continue to enjoy our stories!