Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favourites, it means a lot. Here is the second part, I hope it is everything you guys are hoping for. Enjoy.
The Precipice
Part II
She stands there with the cold breeze swirling around her. Eyes closed, ready to make a choice. As she's about to take her step she hears a rustle of leaves behind her and someone call out her name.
"Hanna?"
The voice is familiar but not immediately recognizable.
Sighing, she turns just enough to look over her shoulder and see the intruder.
Tall and thin, long brunette hair, and hazel eyes that almost glow in the darkness.
Paige.
Not sure what to do, she frantically wipes at the tear tracks on her cheeks and folds her arms tightly to her chest, not wanting the other girl to see the angry red lines adorning her flesh. She knows that she's going to get blood all over her top, but she can't bring herself to care.
Slowly she turns all the way around, facing the other girl, who looks both startled and suspicious.
"Hey Paige."
The taller girl just nods, but doesn't say anything. Her eyes rake over Hanna, from the dishevelled state of her black and blonde hair, to the mascara still smudged on her cheeks. Honestly Paige isn't really sure what to say, she's never encountered anyone else up here, but she can see that Hanna isn't okay.
Before she can say anything, Hanna speaks again.
"What are you doing up here?"
The question is almost accusatory but Hanna's voice is shaky, and she can't seem to meet Paige's eyes.
"Sometimes I come up here to think, get away from it all you know? Sometimes I just need a break from everything going on."
Hanna does know; she knows all too well. So she nods.
"I don't usually run into anyone else up here though…"
Paige doesn't finish the sentence letting her words trail off. Hanna doesn't answer.
"What about you?"
Blue eyes look up and meet hazel for the first time, and Paige sees exhaustion written across the girl's features, but it doesn't take her long to realize it's more than that, it's defeat.
Hanna sighs, hugging herself tighter internally wincing at the pressure on her fresh wounds.
"I just… I needed some space."
It's a half-assed response, but it's the partial truth. She did need space.
"But I'll get out of here so you can have the place to yourself."
Paige doesn't miss the way Hanna glances over her shoulder looking out over the edge of the cliff. Her shoulders visibly slump and she scuffs her boot in the dirt.
"No, it's okay. I wouldn't mind some company."
Originally Paige had wanted to sit up here alone, but she could tell the blonde wasn't ready to go.
"I don't want to intrude…"
"Stay."
Without another word Hanna turns around, picks up her jacket and puts it on careful not to let Paige see the wounds on her arms.
Slowly the taller girl makes her way over towards the blonde and sits down on the edge of the cliff, letting her feet hang over the edge.
She pats the space next to her indicating that Hanna should sit beside her and the other girl does.
They sit in complete silence for a long time, minutes turning into hours.
Hanna lets her thoughts roam again, back to the mess of her life, but somehow her pain didn't seem as bad with Paige sitting next to her. Just the thought of another person, who doesn't hate her, being near makes her burdens a little bit easier to bear, even if it's only for a little while.
Slowly she turns her head, just enough to see Paige staring out into the night. She wants to say something, wants to thank the girl for sitting up here with her, for not being repulsed by her…
"Paige, I…"
Hanna tries to speak but her words die in her throat, she doesn't even know what she wants to say. But somehow Paige understands.
"You're welcome."
The taller girl offers her a small smile.
Another few minutes pass before the brunette speaks again.
"When I first saw you, it looked like you were thinking about something intense, if you need to talk, I'm a pretty good listener."
The gesture of kindness and sincerity in the other girl's voice is enough to break her.
She and Paige have never been close, although she knows the other girl relatively well because of Emily, but she can't help herself. Her burdens are getting to heavy to bear, she has so many feelings bottled up inside of her, so much self-hate, so much pain, and tonight the cuts aren't enough of a release.
So sitting there on top of the clearing, legs dangling over the edge, her leather jacket pressed tightly against the cuts on her arms she lets go, the words spilling out of her.
Hanna tells Paige about her feelings of self-hatred, the pain that having Alison back is causing her, the guilt she feels over not accepting her former friends apology, the return of 'A', her slip up at the brew, her feelings for Caleb, Zack's advances, her mother's preference for Alison, her personal spiral out of control, but mostly she talks about Aria, Emily and Spencer.
She talks about the other girl's accusatory looks, and biting remarks, about Spencer and Emily calling her a liar, about Aria blaming her for everything, about how the most important people in her life are making her feel even more worthless than she already does.
And Paige listens, with open ears and an open heart.
She acknowledges everything Hanna tells her, passing no judgement.
Because if anyone understands its Paige. Paige who's spent the better part of her life hating herself for one reason or another. Paige who's fighting her own inner demons because of Alison's return. Paige who's lost the person that she's loves, because like Hanna, she seems to ruin everything she touches.
By the time Hanna is finished she's crying again. And Paige lets her. She could offer comforting words or a gentle touch, but she understands that Hanna NEEDS to cry.
And in a small way, it helps. Hanna can feel the weight on her shoulders lessening.
She wipes the tears from her cheeks and offers the other girl a tiny smile.
"Thanks Paige."
Paige smiles back, just as a shiver runs through her. She decides it's time to leave; they do have school tomorrow after all.
She stands up and stretches, then offers her hand to Hanna.
"Hey, it's getting late, let me walk you home."
Hanna hesitates for a second, looking out over the precipice. Then she turns back to Paige, and takes her hand.
"I actually don't have a place to go, maybe you can just walk me to Aria's house, my car is there still, I can just figure something out from there."
The sadness in Hanna's voice isn't lost on Paige, but after listening to Hanna's heart breaking tales, she doesn't have to ask why the girl doesn't want to go home, she already knows. Alison.
Slowly she puts her arm around the smaller girl's shoulder in a friendly, comforting gesture.
"My parents are out of town for the week, why don't you crash on my couch tonight."
Stunned, Hanna turns toward the other girl. She can't understand why Paige is being so nice to her; she's really not worth it. But regardless of her shock, she finds herself nodding. Anything is better than going home, or back to Aria's for that matter.
So together the odd new pair head back into the woods, towards Rosewood, towards the life Hanna almost left behind.
Half an hour later Paige is putting blankets out on the couch. Hanna comes out of the bathroom wearing a pair of the taller girl's Rosewood Sharks sweats and a white tank top.
Paige stops short when she sees that Hanna is also still wearing her leather jacket.
Instead of commenting on it, she motions for the blonde to sit on the couch, Hanna obeys.
She's absolutely exhausted, mind, body and soul. Her eyes are swollen and puffy from all of the crying, her heart feels like it's been ripped into a million pieces, and the cuts on her arms pulse with every heartbeat.
For a second she zones out, eyes glazing over. It's just enough time for Paige to really get a good look at the girl. And suddenly she sees. She thought she'd understood before, thought she'd seen the pain swimming behind blue eyes, but now the whole picture is clear.
Paige's heart breaks for the blonde.
But instead of saying anything she walks into the bathroom, grabs a washcloth, runs it under cold water and returns to the couch where Hanna is sitting.
The brunette kneels in front of the blonde, who has her eyes trained on the floor. Using her free hand she lifts Hanna's chin until their eyes meet.
It's snaps the smaller girl out of her daze, and she can't help but feel slightly confused at Paige's actions until shaky hands find her shoulders and start to push the jacket off.
In a panic Hanna tries to jerk away, but Paige is anticipating it.
She just holds onto thin shoulders, not moving, not letting Hanna pull away. After several long minutes the smaller girl sucks in a breath, fighting the tears, and meets hazel eyes again.
There is something in those sparkling orbs that she recognizes, the same demons she sees when she looks at herself in the mirror these days. They stare at each other a long while and things start to make sense to Hanna.
She understands why Paige is doing this, why she's taking care of her even though they really aren't even friends.
With the realization she takes a deep breath and shrugs the jacket off of her shoulders.
Paige helps her remove it the rest of the way and together they toss it aside.
When the girl makes no noise of disgust at the angry red cuts along her arms, she knows that she's right about Paige's demons being the same as her own.
Silently Paige takes the damp cloth and gently cleans the wounds, wiping away the dried blood.
When she's finished she takes her own long sleeves and rolls them up, holding her arms out to the other girl.
Hanna, like Paige, doesn't make a sound as she stares at the white scars that litter the other girl's forearms and wrists.
Slowly the blonde runs her fingers along the marks, tracing each scar, her arms will look like that someday.
But what she really notices is that there are no fresh wounds, no scabs or healing cuts, only the scars.
It's Paige who finally breaks the silence…
"I know it hurts, and I know you feel like you're alone, but I'm here. I'm your friend. I care, because you are worth so much Hanna. Don't forget that."
Those words are everything Hanna's needed to hear. They don't fix anything, not really, but for the first time is a long time she feels something other than self-loathing swell in her chest. Hope.
Hanna wants to thank the girl, but she can't even find the words.
Instead she pulls her into a hug.
Paige squeezes her tight, reassuring the blonde that she isn't going anywhere.
When the pull apart Hanna smiles at her.
"Get some rest okay? If you need me I'm just down the hall."
Hanna nods and craws under the blankets.
Paige tucks her in.
"Good night Hanna."
When the blonde's eyes close, Paige quietly walks over to the lights and flicks them off.
She pads down the hallway into her room letting out a sigh. Before now she and Hanna had never been that close, but she knows that after tonight they will always have a bond that no one else will understand.
Suddenly remembering something she pulls out her phone and looks at the conversation that's still up on her screen.
October 12, 2014 6:48 pm
From: Caleb Rivers
Hanna's missing. I'm worried about her, she's in a bad place. I don't know how to help her, she needs someone who understands…
October 12, 2014 6:49pm
To: Caleb Rivers
I know where she's at. Same place I always end up. Leaving now. I will help her. I promise.
October 12, 2014 6:51pm
From: Caleb Rivers
Thank you Paige.
Quickly she types out a response, hits send and crawls into bed. Tomorrow will be a long day, but Paige is bound and determined to do everything she can to help Hanna, and she's sure of one thing. Caleb's right, she's the only one who can do this.
Closing her eyes she drifts off to sleep.
Across town, Caleb's phone chimes, he picks it up and opens the message.
October 13, 2014 3:18am
From: Paige McCullers
She's safe. I'm going to do everything I can, I'll keep you posted.
SOOOO I know I said that this was going to be two parts, but I'm seriously thinking about doing one or two more chapters, I've got a few more ideas. If you'd be interested in reading more, let me know! Hope you enjoyed it.