Hmm…I guess a long car ride and an ipod means another chapter…here is another evanescence song, I just love Amy Lee and the emotion in her songs, I particularly love this song and thought it would describe Kensi's state of mind in dealing with a PTSD Jack

Before NCIS and Deeks. Jack is back from the war and Kensi finds solace in music. Which inevitably brings her a music store and to Deeks…

Artist: Evanescence

Song: The change

Need to Know You

Jack is back from the war but has changed. Kensi stops by a music store and plays a song catching the

Kensi storms out of the house and gets into her car and drives off. She doesn't know how much longer she can take this…how much longer she can be the only one dealing with Jack's PTSD. He was no longer the man she loved, he was a shell of that man; he did not make her laugh anymore, did not make her feel special…hell he hadn't had sex with her since before he was deployed, and that was a year ago. She was not a nun, she was a woman damn it.

She drove mindlessly for a few minutes but it seemed her body knew where her mind wanted to be…she was parked in front of the music store just a walk away from the beach. She huffed and walked inside nodding to the store clerk, he knew…she did not know how, he just knew, so he let her sit at his own personal piano whenever she wanted or needed.

He understood the calming nature that music had on her, the way it soothed her injured heart, even if just for a time. Today was no different, the clerk was even helping a man, only his back and head of shaggy hair visible. She walked over to the grand piano and sat down, facing the open floor of the store. She took a breath and began…

Thought that I was strong
I know the words I need to say
Frozen in my place
I let the moment slip away

She knew she had to leave…she could not keep doing this, but every time she brought it up Jack would yell that she was selfish, that he was the one suffering not her…so no she sits silently…

I've been screaming on the inside
And I know you feel the pain
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?

She watches as he falls back into another flashback, his eyes glazed over and empty, staring right through her, it is a strange and scary feeling. She knows that he knows that he is the source of her emotional pain and yet he sits there silently…

No matter how much she screams his name he doesn't respond… the shaggy man at the counter turns at the sound of the piano and sees a beautiful woman, her fingers ghosting over the keys, her voice so full of pain, and he has the strange feeling of wanting… no needing to comfort the woman…

"Who is that?" he asks the clerk that is holding his violin, the broken cord nearly poking the top of his head. The clerk looks up and his eyes land on the woman.

"Do not know her name, she comes in almost once a week, sits at my piano and plays. But there is to much emotion behind her voice for the songs just to be her favorites, something is going on and it is hurting the poor woman." He says then goes back to his work.

The shaggy man turns back to the singing woman, a deep and profound sadness tainting her polychrome eyes…

Say it's over, yes it's over
But I need you anyway
Say you love me but it's not enough

He claims to love her, but his nightly routine is now hollow, there is no feeling of love anymore behind the word…she needs to leave… she becomes aware that the shaggy man is watching her now with rapt attention…

Never meant to lie
But I'm not the girl you think you know
The more that I am with you
The more that I am all alone

Jack wasn't the only one to change while he was gone, she was no longer the woman he left at the airport over a year ago…she lies every time she parrots 'I love you' back at him… she is alone even while he is there with her…she doesn't love him anymore…

The man's heart breaks as she sings about being alone…he may not know her but he knows that she is special…she is a rare gift upon his eyes…

I've been screaming on the inside
And I know you feel the pain
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?

She can't take this pain anymore…the shaggy man senses her inner turmoil and takes a step closer, then another and another until he is leaning over the piano, entranced by the way her fingers glide over the keys, the way she moves her head and her face scrunches up in strong emotions as she sings, she is letting the music consume her so he does the same…he listens and feels her words…her melody

Say it's over, yes it's over
But I need you anyway
Say you love me but it's not enough

Not that I am so different
Not that I don't see
The dying light of what we used to be

She looks up into the shaggy mans eyes, internally she paused, outwardly the words spill out of her…this is her therapy, she doesn't need to talk to feel better, to sort out her feelings, she just needs to let it go…that man is staring at her like she is the only woman in the world…who is he…what is his name…Jack never, not once looked at her like that…why was her heart starting to feel free under is blue gaze… why?

But how could I forgive you?
You've changed
And I'm a liar by your side
I'm about to lose my mind

When she looks up at me my heart stops…god she is beautiful…who hurt her enough to make her sing this…to feel these emotions…why does he care…he needs to know her…he needs to make her happy…why?

'Cause I've been screaming on the inside
And I know you feel the pain
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?

You've been dreaming
If you're thinking that I still belong to you
I'll be dying 'cause I'm lying to myself

Say it's over, yes it's over
But I need you anyway
Say you love me but it's not enough

She plays out the melody that is living in her heart, mindful that the shaggy man is still staring at her, he is close…it feels good, better than Jack being close…when Jack is close she is filled with dread…but this stranger…he makes her feel safe and she hasn't even heard him speak.

They stare at each other till he speaks, his voice was filled with awe and it was music to her ears. "You have a beautiful voice…" he almost looks sheepish as he says it.

She smiles and holds out her hand, he takes it causing her to gasp, the electricity was toe curling. "I am Kensi." Her arm is tingling…she could get lost in those blue eyes…she is lost in those eyes…in his smile… she needs to know him, inside and out.

"I am Marty," he says softly, his arm is tingling…he was lost in those beautiful eyes the moment he say them…god her smile is so perfect…he feels a sense of coming home looking at her…he needs to know her, inside and out….

A. Grayson