I love this song and I love Halestorm. I originally planned the plot out before I began writing but then something happened and this is the result…A lovely review would be nice telling me what you think, and again I play into a strong Nell and Kensi friendship. this is after Sidorov but no 'Tacos' and no Afghanistan.

Enjoy, and I do not own the song or the show.

Love Bites

Chapter 5

Nell's P.O.V

It started weeks ago, Deeks coming in with a larger smile than before and naturally everyone looked to Kensi thinking that she was the cause of it, that they had figured out the infamous thing…but Kensi had become the polar opposite of Deeks; she was near silent and brooding, every person she interrogated in the past few weeks quickly revealed their secrets in hopes that "The scary woman wouldn't come back in…"

After about a week of this I cornered Kensi at her apartment…her CLEAN apartment. That should have been my second clue. "Kensi, what is going on?"

"I don't know what you are talking about Nell," she grits, her voice devoid of any and all emotion as she stares at her TV, not even paying attention to the people walking down the runway on it. I tentatively sit next to her.

"Something is going on Kens…everyone can see it, you are angry all of the time…"

"Not everyone sees it…not the one person that matters." She says looking to me, everything about her screams that she has given up.

"Talk to me Kensi…what is going on?"

"Deeks…he um…we were having a movie night two weeks ago and he told me he had a girlfriend…" I reach out for Kensi's hand, but she doesn't register my touch. "The first week I thought you know it is just a fling…that he couldn't have given up on our thing so easily," wow that was big Kensi admitting her thing with Deeks. "But then I saw them last week, they were at the beach and…he was teaching her how to surf and he…he looked so happy, looked at her the way he use to look at me." She says quietly.

"Kensi that doesn't mean…"

"But I understand…she isn't…she isn't broken, he won't always wonder if she is going to get scared and run…like I did before Sidorov…" she shakes her head and pulls her hand out of mine. "I'm done talking about this; please I would like to be alone."

I nod and silently make my way to the door and let myself out, but stay rooted to her doorstep…Deeks has a girlfriend…a few minutes later, that is when I hear a strangled sob. It takes me only seconds to rip her door open and run to her side as she cries.

The shock of seeing Bad Ass Blye cry will always be ingrained into my mind, till the day I die. I wrap my arms around her as she clips to me for dear life. She fists my shirt in her hands and buries her face into my neck. I can feel every breath, every sob, every rise and fall of her chest and the sounds of her cries makes a few tears fall down my cheeks, Kensi morns the loss of Deeks' love and I morn Kensi's happiness.

That was three weeks ago, and every day that Deeks talks with the team about Jessica is another day I go to Kensi's place and hold her shaking form as she cries again. There are good days where I go over and Kensi seems like her old self, just with a slightly more haunted look than before. I learn about her past, I learn that she took singing lessons when she was younger, but the most important thing that I learned in the past three weeks was that Kensi was only partly Bad Ass Blye, but she was also a desperately haunted woman…something I am sure Deeks knows, because I have no filled his spot on the couch…he has no doubt heard all of the things and more that Kensi speaks about. And that thought makes me see red; how can he do this? does he not know that she loves him, but with a past riddled with heartbreak and death, Kensi was scared of fully opening up to him.

It is that thought that has me talking to Hetty late one night, Kensi, Sam and Callen at their desks absentmindedly filling out paper work. But tonight would be a night I held a crying Kensi…I heard over the comms as Deeks talked about wanting to settle down with this Jessica. When Kensi remained quiet at his declaration, Deeks asked her what was wrong…again he was met with silence and what I know was a blank stare from the female agent as she broke a little more.

"Hetty…I am worried about Kensi…it seems like every time he talks about Jessica she deteriorates a little more."

The small woman nods. "Yes I agree Ms. Jones; I take it that you have an idea to maybe lift Ms. Blye's spirits?"

I smile, she really does know everything. "Yes, she may have mentioned that she likes to sing, according to her mom she is quite good too."

"Go, with them to the gym, I am sure Mr. Hanna and Mr. Callen would agree to help put Ms. Blye at ease with their participation." She says with a sly smile.

I nod and walk to the gym, Sam and Callen look up and I nod again telling them that we are a go. I stand in front of Kensi's desk and wait till she looks up. "What Nell?" her voice is strained.

"Well we all agreed that this last case was a bit hard on all of us, so we have a plan to relax a little, so what do you say?" she looks up then back at Hetty who is talking on the phone then to Sam and Callen who have stood and are looking at her with pleading eyes.

"Come on Kens, we got beer and music." Callen says. She sighs and stands, following us to the gym where we had set up a karaoke machine with large speakers.

Kensi stops walking and turns to me. "Nell no…"

"Come on Kens we are all going to sing and get drunk, we all have things we want to erase about today." I plead with her, watching as she thinks back to the intense case of the past few days, but I know the instant her thoughts go to Deeks and how he is no doubt seeking comfort in the arms of another woman when her face falls then lifts into a scowl as she walks to the table set up and opens a beer, downing the bottle quickly.

"Who's going first?" she asks as Eric walks into the gym.

"I vote Sam," Callen speaks up. "I mean you were the one to go undercover as a groupie…"

And then we go headfirst into a night a drinking a singing. Nobody gets drunk, but we are not exactly sober either. We are all pretty terrible but we get Kensi to laugh and that is all that we really care about.

When we finally get Kensi up there again I see movement out of the corner of my eye, it is Deeks and Hetty. While Kensi picks another song to vent her frustrations under the guise of Karaoke night I point them out to the guys. Callen and Sam scowl and turn back to Kensi and putting a smile back on their faces, though slightly more strained. No one on the team could understand Deeks' complete 180 after Sidorov, but we all understood that it was silently killing the female agent they thought of as a sister.

The song she chooses is a fast beat song that starts and immediately I know that this is the song she really wanted to sing first but felt that she needed to ease into it, even morning the loss of love she still does things with intensity. As she begins she fails to notice Deeks watching her intently

Dont listen what your girlfriend says
She reads those magazines
That say you failed the test

I must concede to that point, when we met Jessica she did seem like the type to take those Cosmo quizzes to heart, and I know Kensi thought this too, because she started mentally kicking the blondes ass, but did Deeks notice this? No, he was to busy looking at Jessica as though she was the only woman in the bar, only serving to piss Kensi off. That night back at Kensi's apartment was the worse.
You dont have what she needs
I slither like a viper
And get you by the neck
I know a thousand ways to help you forget about her

That bitch can eat her heart out!
Love bites, but so do I, so do I.
Love bites, but so do I, so do I.
Love bites!

The guys are clapping, which is almost inaudible over the beat of the song as I look back to Deeks, who seems like he saw a ghost. He must feel my eyes on his because he looks to me and I shake my head at him as Kensi keeps singing.

My lips are pale and vicious.
Youre foaming at the mouth.
Youve suffered in the darkness.
Ill suck the pain right out.
So come and taste the reason
Im nothing like the rest.
I kiss you in a way youll never forget about me.

I see Deeks gasp, no doubt thinking about the kiss, not the one on the hilltop at Sidorov's place, no everyone knew about that one. I am talking about the one about a week before Deeks revealed he was dating Jessica…for the past three weeks. Kensi and him argued in the bullpen oblivious to my presence on the second floor. I don't remember the argument I just remember Kensi growling angrily before stalking towards Deeks and grabbing his face and dragging his lips down to hers.

I remember smiling thinking that the tension was over as I saw him kiss her back but then he almost violently pushed her away before shaking his head looking at her with an expression close to disgust, before walking out of the Mission with his final words… "Do not ever do that again." And with that he was gone…I watched as Kensi touched her lips and a look of deep sadness and heartbreak on her face. She turned to her desk and grabbed the picture of her and Deeks bonding with the team hurling it over Sam's desk and against the wall shattering on impact.

That chick can eat her heart out!
Love bites, but so do I, so do I.
Love bites, but so do I, so do I, so do I!

Kensi was wary of love before she met Deeks, but now while she thinks he is in Jessica's arms she despises the emotion, giving the next verse more meaning than we can't comprehend.

It checks you in and kicks you down,
And chews you up and spits you out.
It messes with your sanity by twisting all your thoughts around.
They say its blind they say it waits but every time it seals your fate.
And now its got you by the balls it wont let go until you fall.
I was down and out, got up I said Hey love Ive had enough!
Ive felt pleasure without pain.
My soul youll never tame!

Love bites, but so do I.
Love bites, but so do I, so do I
Love bites, but so do I, so do I, so do I!
Love bites, but so do I, so do I.
Love bites!
Love bites!

She finishes and we stand and clap as her breath heaves causing us to stop as she lets a tear fall in front of her teammates. I run to her and catch her as the fatigue that has been constant in the life takes over. She clings to my shirt as the guys help me carry her to her seat. I stand in front of her my hands cupping her face motherly as she stares at me.

When she looks over my shoulder I know she sees Deeks, I can hear his footsteps as he walks closer, but is quickly halted by Sam and Callen blocking his path, Eric kneeling by Kensi's side. She stares emptily at Deeks as he tries pushing past Sam and Callen, pleading with Kensi to let him pass. She speaks no words, just keeps staring. I look over my shoulder and see what she sees…there on his neck is a hicky…Hetty's call must have interrupted something. Kensi's shoulders sink further as she stands haling everyone's movement, Hetty is staring on with a sad look.

"Kensi…Kens please tell them to let me go." And still she stares at him, the tears gone and a sad look of acceptance in her polychrome eyes as she lowers her head.

Without a word she turns and walks out of the gym and into the night. The guys still do not release him, knowing he would go after her and we all still had some choice words for the Detective.

"Let me go, I have to find her…" on the turn of the dime I see red, feeling the need to speak for Kensi, caring not that I was about to let the whole team in on how bad the situation really was.

"Are you kidding me!" Deeks' stops struggling and looks of surprise on all of their faces. "You have destroyed her Deeks, what the fuck happened with you to just turn around and jump into bed with some woman!"

"What was I supposed to do Nell," he yelled back pulling out of Sam and Callen's hold. "She ran from ME on that hilltop! Then after Sidorov she doesn't even mention it!"

"Do you know why! It wasn't because she didn't want to Deeks! She was scared that you weren't ready; you weren't here those months that you wouldn't talk to her, we were," I argue motioning to everyone including Hetty. "She was a mess, took unnecessary risk, almost died a few times, she gets you were recovering, but damnit Deeks she didn't want her partner back she just wanted you to trust her to help you." I shake my head. "God she is going to kill me, but she loves you, and when you pushed her away when she kissed you in the bullpen to her that was you telling her that she wasn't enough, the same thing that she told herself when her father didn't come home, what Jack reiterated when he left Christmas morning, and that night in the bullpen to her it became concrete."

I am no longer yelling, my voice soft. "I…I need to fix this…" he stumbles but when he sees me shaking my head he stills.

"Deeks I don't think that this CAN be fixed…"

-A. Grayson