I woke up in Stefan's bed, with his arm heavy across my stomach. It wasn't the first time. But it was the first time that there was nothing between us. Warmth crept up my body as I remembered our current situation. Oh. That's right. Besides the strip of light coming from the illuminated living room through his cracked door, the room was still dark. We had to get up. We were supposed to be on the road early. I just couldn't make myself untangle my body from his.
He jostled slightly and rolled over to face me. "Good morning," he half-whispered, his voice hoarse from sleep.
"Good morning," I said shyly, unable to hold back the smile that lit across my face. I bit my cheek and looked away.
"You know," he started, rubbing his fingertips across my forearms, "I half expected you to steal away in the middle of the night."
"I thought about it!" I lied, grabbing his hand and toying with his daylight ring.
"Yeah?" he asked, "Well...I'm glad you didn't." He leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips. Somehow, even after everything that happened the night before, this little display of affection surprised and moved me.
Suddenly it was very obvious that we were both naked and that our legs were twisted together, our hands interlaced and our lips softly brushing. Stefan threaded his hand through my hair and deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping against mine and sending blood coursing through me all over again. God. I could really get used to this.
His hand was inching back down my stomach, but I suddenly slipped out from beneath him and pinned him to the bed. He looked surprised, but smiled as I straddled his hips. His hands found my waist, then my ribs, then my breasts. I rocked against him gently as his thumbs brushed across my nipples. He moaned at the sensation and grabbed my waist to hold me close to him. I smiled at his worry that I might actually go somewhere right now. No. I was exactly where I wanted to be.
I lifted up just enough to give him room to slip into me. We both hummed in pleasure at the sensation. This was different than last night. More calm, gentle, intimate. But the heat was still there, threatening to ignite me from within. His hands tightened on my hips. I admired the sight of his long fingers digging into my pale skin. He lifted up and I wrapped my legs around his back. He kissed me long and deep as we finished together.
Twenty minutes later and I was back in my own room. Showered, dressed, packed and ready to go. Stefan handed me a to-go cup of coffee and a blood bag as I stepped out of the living room. Apparently he had run out and made a few stops while I was getting ready.
"Thank you," I said brightly, sipping the warm vanilla coffee. When I looked back up, he was shyly holding a bouquet of yellow roses toward me.
"Stefan!" I exclaimed, simultaneously giddy and embarrassed.
"It's the least I could do," he said, shyly, referencing our little experiences. I blushed and took the flowers, smelling them. He rubbed the back of his neck. "You, uhhh, all packed? I checked us out already."
"Yeah, I'm ready," I said. Speaking more about my emotional readiness than the suitcases stacked up on my bed. I pressed my nose back against the flowers to hide.
"Okay," he said, "Let's hit the road then." He gathered up our bags and carried them out the door.
I stepped out onto the balcony for one final look at the ocean. This morning was perfect. Cooler and sunny, the ocean was calm. I was surprised when Stefan's arms encircled me from behind. He rubbed his cheek against mine and kissed my hair before going back to the luggage. Again I caught myself thinking...I could definitely get used to this.
Looking around, I walked back through the hotel room toward the door. We'd put it to good use, I'd say. Could have been better if we'd started certain activities earlier, I thought. I smiled to myself.
Then we were on the road again. Things seemed okay. Normal. Pretty much the way it had felt before. We were still friends. We still fought over the radio. Still talked. And laughed. Even the tension was still there. Somehow it was even worse now that we knew each other more...intimately. His hand kept finding its way to rest on my bare thigh. Mine drew lazy circles on his hard chest beneath his soft worn t-shirt.
We stopped for gas after a couple of hours. He watched me as I pumped it and smiled appreciatively.
"You look very cute," he said, gesturing to my white crop top, cut offs and baggy crocheted shawl. I had tossed my wavy hair into a messy ponytail for the long ride back home. "You look like you could be going to that, uh..that thing you were talking about.." he snapped his fingers, trying to remember, "that music festival, Bon..Bonnaroo!"
I laughed and looked down. I did look a little boho. "Oh! We should go!" I said excitedly, putting the gas pump back and closing the lid.
"Now, Caroline..." he started, mock scolding me and wrapping his arms around my waist, "We agreed that going home was the right thing to do."
"I know, I know" I said, rolling my eyes and putting my own arms around his neck. He placed a kiss on the tip of my nose and the sweet gesture wiped the pout off of my face. I never expected to be so comfortable being this way with Stefan. It came so naturally that I almost wondered how we'd ever been just friends.
A pesky thought entered my mind and I started speaking before I thought it might be better not to. Classic Caroline, I thought to myself.
"Stefan..." I started, questioningly, dropping my hands from his neck and walking toward the shade trees next to the gas pumps, "What do you think we should do about...us...when we get back?" I was immediately kicking myself for mentioning it. What if there was no "us"? What if what I thought was "us" was actually just regular Stefan and Caroline having a night of fun. And a morning of fun. And a few extra cuddles. And flowers. And nose kisses...I mean...there was an us, right? I couldn't be imagining it.
He followed me and stood with his hands in his pockets, watching me pull Spanish moss from the tree next to me and twirl it around in my fingers.
"I mean...nothing has to be different" I clarified, hoping to take some of the heat off of my previous question.
"Things are different, Caroline," he quickly corrected me, possibly as if only just realizing that fact for himself. I wasn't sure that he was completely thrilled with that revelation.
"So..how do we..." I stammered, hoping that he would be the one to lay out the rules of our new, slightly altered relationship. Because I had no idea.
"Well...how do you want to handle it?" he stepped closer to me, taking the moss from my hands and tossing it aside, then wrapping my hands up in his, "What would make you most comfortable?"
I smiled, looking down at our joined hands then up to his clear green eyes and feeling the comfort to say exactly what I was thinking.
"I don't know...ya know...Elena is..was...IS...my friend and you're...you..and we don't even know what she's thinking or feeling right now. Maybe it would be better if..." I trailed off, not really wanting to finish that thought.
"If we...just be friends?" he said, cautiously, dropping my hands. They felt cold without him.
That wasn't exactly what I was suggesting. And it stung that he considered that an option.
"What do YOU want?" I asked, crossing my arms. The warm, fuzzy feeling I had a few minutes ago was gone.
"We can do whatever you think is best, Caroline. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable or weirded out. Especially you," he reached out and squeezed my arm then. And I remembered that, at the end of the day, he was still my best friend and I wouldn't lose him. Not now. We were in this together.
We left it at that and loaded back up in the car. I had this uneasy feeling like we weren't on the same page. I wasn't even sure what I had hoped to gain from that conversation, or what I had just agreed to. I wondered if he knew what we were talking about any better than I did.
Elena texted a few more times. Directions to the hotel that she was staying at outside of town. I kept forgetting that we weren't actually going home. Couldn't go home. The only thing more confusing to me than what was happening between me and Stefan, was Elena's "plan" and what exactly we were going to be able to do to help. I hated how skeptical I was about everything. But now, more than ever, every instinct I had was just telling me to move on. I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for Stefan.
I glanced over at him in the driver's seat. His eyes steady on the road. Hands firm on the wheel. I reached out and put my hand on his knee. He looked down at it, then back to me and smiled. He turned it to a pop station and rolled his eyes, before turning them back to the road. I smiled and bit my lip. Same old Stefan.
"It'll be a few more hours," he said after a minute, "Take a nap if you want."
I considered it for a second. It wasn't a BAD idea. I reached into the backseat for a pillow and his eyes raked over my bare midriff. Again. I wanted to laugh. But I didn't. I just fluffed my pillow, put it on the armrest between us and snuggled into it. I purred in complete contentment and Stefan chuckled softly. He reached out a hand to smooth my hair and trace tiny shapes on my bare shoulders and arms. I shivered. Yep...this was definitely going to be interesting.
"God, are her compulsion skills broken or what?" I said, repulsed, as we pulled up to the sleazy motel that Elena had told us to meet her at.
"Hmmm" Stefan made a little sound of confusion himself as he looked around the over-grown, moldy old building. "It is a little strange..."
"You don't think this is some kind of trap, do you?" I asked, suddenly worried that we were being lured to certain demise.
"I don't...think so," he said, a little unsure for my taste.
"Stefan!" I shrieked, slapping his arm.
He laughed. "I'm sure it's fine, Caroline. Maybe she's just...laying low or something. I don't know."
It seemed off, but I trusted Stefan not to lead me into danger and I knew I could handle myself even if he did. So I unbuckled my seat belt and stepped out of the car. The dirty gravel crunched beneath my glittery gladiator sandals. I shielded the sun from my eyes and looked for Elena.
Stefan closed his car door and walked around to stand next to me. My instinct was to tangle our fingers together, but I fought it. I had gotten used to our comfortable closeness.
"Well," I said, impatiently, throwing my hands up, "Where is she?" Stefan looked around and shrugged.
Just then, a door creaked open and out stepped Elena Gilbert. I looked her over. Skinnier, more pale, her dark hair wavy and messy in a way that I didn't know it could even be, jeans and a black tank top all but hanging off of her. There was no smile on her face. But she was still beautiful. Always beautiful. What surprised me most was how actually happy I was to see her. And I was even more surprised when I heard my own voice.
"Elena," my voice said, then I was moving toward her cautiously. She didn't look very approachable. Stefan was hanging back.
"Hey Caroline," she said, finally, releasing her hold on the doorway and stepping toward me. She sounded exhausted, and her voice was shaky as if she hadn't used it in a while. She smiled weakly.
I found myself stepping forward and wrapping her in my arms. She was tiny, and smelled like a musty motel room and tequila. After a hesitant moment, she gently returned my hug.
Letting her go, I turned around to look at Stefan. His eyes were locked with hers. They were having one of their fated doppelganger moments or something. They had a silent conversation that I wasn't privy to. Stefan caught me staring at them, and then snapped out of it. He nodded to her in greeting and then cleared his throat and shuffled his feet.
Awkwardness. Already. Great.
"You look great, Caroline," Elena said, "Very healthy and...happy." She looked from me to Stefan then...a question in her voice that neither of us were going to be answering. She turned to walk back inside the motel room, not inviting us in but leaving the door open.
I met Stefan's eyes. We both took a deep breath. And followed Elena inside.
"Here we go," I mouthed.
Stefan clicked his tongue and raised his eyebrows. "Yep." he said, placing his hand on the small of my back as he followed me inside.