Thank you guys for following this story! I gave a bit gas with this chapter. I obviously can't wait to get to the next episode and to the happier part ;)

Also I find it interesting everyone is already seeing Barbie as a hero and well we all know he sees himself anything but a hero.

Hero?

(S01x05 – Part 3/4)

After talking with that soldier from outside the dome with the help of Dodee suddenly it all started to make sense for Barbie. The butterflies, the Visitors' day, the reverend bubbling about MOAB, everything. They were well… fucked up. This was it, the end. Dodee was not taking it easy and as she was running to Big Jim for help, for solution, Barbie slowly walked towards them still in shock. No matter what, there was no solution, there was no survival from this. He was once in military, there was no hiding, nowhere to run from the Mather of All Bombs. He slowly got closer to Dodee and Big Jim and even before he saw Julia he sensed her nearby. By the time he stopped next to them, Dodde had already told Big Jim about what she had heard. Linda and Julia surrounded them frowning in worry. After he confirmed the shocking news, after it became clear it was true, that they planned to throw MOAB at them at 1.15, in less than 3 hours, everything happened fast. Julia suggested the old cement factory as a gathering point. It had under earth tunnels, the best chance they got for survival. They all went on their separated ways, Julia to the radio station to announce the news, Linda and him to the cement factory to turn it as safe as possible in the little time they had.

He was just finishing setting up some sort of lamp that could give them light… for as long as they needed it, when he felt the unmistakable tingling of his body telling him Julia was nearby.

"You almost finished batting down the hatches?" Her voice came from behind just as he put the cables together and light filled the rooms and tunnels.

"Yeah." He murmured. People were filling the old cement factory; some of them worried, some of them afraid but all of them hoping for the best.

"For what it is worth." he added his voice flat as he turned to her. She was watching him with intense eyes. "Julia, when that missile breaks through here…" he trailed off and he was not disappointed when she gave him a small smile in understanding.

"I know." They just stared into each other's eyes in a silent understanding. For a moment it felt like the last few days did not happen, like the fight between them had never happened. But it didn't matter anymore. They were dead in about 20 minutes. Barbie sighed and turned to grab his backpack.

"Hey. Dodee told me how you got the story." She said following him. "Said the soldier started talking when you showed him some sort of coin?" She asked watching his every move and gesture carefully. She was one curious little thing. But the question was if she seriously wanted to know or if it was only the journalist talking from her. Were they really back to being okay? She said she was not blaming him for Peter's mistakes but did she really forgive him for not telling the truth? He suddenly realized he wanted that. He wanted them to be okay. He was also very aware of the fact they were standing only inches from each other, his body reacting to hers as it always did. That sexual tension didn't go anyway during the last days… actually it got more intense. He could not take his eyes from hers and unconsciously he was biting down on his lips. God did he want to kiss her.

"I-I'm not asking on the record." She said, her voice shaking just a bit too. "Just you and me." She added her eyes flicking to his lips making him glance away before he lost all his control over his body. He took a deep breath. Okay, they needed to focus on something else than each other before he did something she might regret.

"That guy that we met. He probably only talked to us 'cuz he thinks I am…" He said looking everywhere but at her but ended up taking the risk to glance at her. Yeah, he was waaaaay too aware of her. He took a sobering breath and glanced away. "some kind of hero."

Julia watched him carefully. "You are not?" The question was so innocent, so honest he had to look back at her. She truly believed even after she found out he was lying even after everything, that he was a hero. That was appealing really, and the way her eyes shone bright up at him….The air started to charge between them yet again. Partly because they needed distraction and partly because he wanted to share something with her – however odd that was taken the fact he had never liked to share anything about himself with anyone – he started to talk.

"One of my deployments in Iraq, um…" He shifted from one foot to the other. It was hard to talk about it. He had never told it before to anyone. But he wanted her to know, he wanted her to know everything about him. He wanted her… and not just for one night for a few hours… No, first time in his life he wanted someone for real. It was a cruel joke from fate that they only had minutes left. He shook his head and taking strength from her warm eyes he continued. "my unit helped rescue a captured soldier from insurgents after her company had been killed by small arms fire."

"God." Julia whispered.

Barbie took another deep breath. Here it came, the truth. "The insurgents captured that soldier. They didn't kill her company." He stared into her eyes. God it was fucking hard to tell the truth. To say out loud one of the ugliest and most horrible thing that had happened with him in military. Yet again her warm eyes gave him the strength he needed. "We did." He almost whispered.

"We were on patrol. All of a sudden someone starts shooting at us and it's not until the dust clears that we realize…We had just shot up our own side." She said nothing, her emotions carefully guarded. Still he kept talking. He wanted her to know the absolute truth, wanted her to know he was not lying to her anymore.

"We killed every soldier except the one that the enemy hauled off." He finished with a sigh. There that was the story with every terrible details of it. "Maybe this is how I deserve to go." He glanced up a sad smile playing on his lips. Fate was an ugly bitch. He looked back at her. "More friendly fire." With that he grabbed his backpack and walked away from her. He needed time to calm down after he had told her everything and he was sure she needed time to digest it as well. He was no hero, far far away from it. And now she also knew it.

At this point I realized Barbie and Julia started to get back to where they were before the whole flu issue. The challenging thing is that they found their way back to each other pretty fast and as we all know, they ended up soon after in a relationship so very intense feelings again mixed with everything else that was going on around them. Challenging, the whole Episode 5 is challenging (:

Romantic in Denial, knuckles99heidi, yas-m, newtonks: thanks so much for the reviews they really made me finish this next part faster!