I just surprised myself by realizing how much I like writing this. But I do love writing about broken hearts, anger, angst, etc :p

Thank you all for reading, I hope I won't disappoint you down the road! More peeks into Michael's life later (obviously September is quite eventful, so expect a few more Sep updates ... more about his life will be present in later chaps, so far I have to stick to canon)

gratefully yours, w.

(2)

I opened my eyes, waking up. I hadn't even realized when I fell asleep. I was sitting on the floor, leaning on one of the bags.

Darkness was still around me. I felt for my phone, finding it a few inches from me. I looked at the time – it was only a few minutes past four. I hadn't slept long, but I didn't feel tired.

I got up, turning on a light. The sudden light irritated my eyes; I shielded them with my hand while squatting and opening bags, one after another, searching for blankets.

I finally found one. I went to the bedroom, only to remember I hadn't made the bed yet.

I sighed and went to the living room, thinking I could sleep on the couch. I threw the blanket on it and went looking for pillows. I went through all the closets in the apartment, but couldn't find any.

I decided to take towels from bags. I rolled them and put them under my head, pulling up the blanket. I closed my eyes, hoping the sleep would suck me back in.

It didn't. It was an early morning hour, and I had slept for only few minutes. But I felt like I had slept for two days straight. I was turning around for the next two hours, getting more and more frustrated. At seven I finally kicked the blanket off me and got up. I took a shower, and despite feeling rested, I looked awful. My eyes were red, blood-shut, and my face was pale. There was nothing I could do about it, though.

I didn't need to be in the lab until ten, but I got dressed anyway. I glanced at the unpacked luggage, leaving them for later. I left the building and started wandering around Tsukuba. It was still early, but the city was waking up. I wished my enthusiasm too could come back, but it remained dearly departed. It was pathetic, really. I was on the verge of making something great, making history, even, and I had never felt gloomier.

I walked by countless diners. I remember wondering if people in Japan really ate noodles for breakfast. I wasn't in the mood to find out, I wasn't hungry. All I wanted was just to start working on the Cardioarm and get it over with. That prototype was the only thing I had left in life.

I arrived at the laboratory almost two hours early. To my surprise, I wasn't the first. Three people from my team were already there, drinking tea and looking over the plans. They offered me pastry and we finished breakfast, and by ten o'clock the work was already in the full swing.

I thought being in the laboratory, meeting my coworkers, working on my own invention would fill me with joy, make enthusiastic again. But I felt tired, still empty. It made me even angrier with myself.

I tried not to show it. I tried to shake it off, appear upbeat and excited. It seemed to be working.

It was only my first day, but I kept working, I would probably work late in the night, if it suddenly didn't struck me that as long as I was there, so were my coworkers. My conscious didn't allow me to stay in the lab any longer; I called it a day and wished everyone a pleasant evening.

On my way back to the apartment – whatever it was, it didn't feel like home – I stopped at McDonald's for a take out. I didn't bother looking for plates. I just plugged in the TV – I didn't dare use my laptop, I didn't want to see pictures I surely would bump into – and while watching a game show I didn't understand I ate my dinner. The silence was settling in, taking me in, making me feel like the biggest failure again.

The last thought before falling asleep was wishing to hear her voice.

The sound of my phone ringing woke me up. I flinched, for a moment not knowing where I was. I sighed with disappointment when I realized it was all true.

I frowned at Boris calling. I didn't know what reason he could possibly have for calling me. Furthermore, I was sure it couldn't mean anything good.

I still picked up.

"I hope I am not waking you," Boris said.

"Oh, no, I wasn't sleeping," I lied, pausing for a moment. "How are things at home?"

I used plural, but I meant only one thing, one person. The awkward silence coming from Boris confirmed he knew it too, making me hate myself even more.

"Everything is fine," Boris said, he too lying. "How are you settling in?"

Boris and I had been friends ever since being bandmates in Skinner Box. But I never figured we were such good friends he'd call me all the way to Japan to ask me how I was doing. While I was touched by her gesture, I sensed there was some hidden reason for his calling.

"Alright," was all I said, waiting for the necessary formalities to be over, so we could conquer the obvious elephant in the room. The urge to talk about Mia was proving to be stronger than the despite I was feeling for her actions.

"I am happy to hear that," Boris said with a voice that was clearly forcedly stripped of all emotions. "Well, I just wanted to say that … um … I am glad you are settling in alright. And … well, if you need someone to talk to, or if I can do something for you, I am here for you. I just want you to know that."

I frowned. If he could do something for me? What was he talking about?

In a way I felt relieved. If he was calling to lend me his support, then a burden fell off my shoulders. For a second I was afraid something might have happened to Mia. But if it did, I guess I would have heard it from Lilly by now.

"Thank you, Boris, I appreciate it," I said, feeling every word. He went on to tell me about the concert he was preparing for, and after he hang up, I thought of Lilly and the fact she was the one sending me the article in New York Post.

How could I not have thought of this earlier?

Something wasn't right.

And suddenly I got very, very afraid.

Without delaying it for a second, I called her.

I knew something was up after she let it ring five times before picking up. Her cold, restrained voice didn't help the matters.

"Hello, brother, I am glad you still remember me, how is Japan? As glamorous as you imagined it?"

"It's fine, Lilly. What is going on?"

It took her a while to respond.

"Any specific area of your interest?"

"You know what I mean," I was getting impatient.

"Do I?"

"What the fuck did you do, Lil?!" I screamed.

"What I did?" she yelled right back. "You are picking on the wrong one, Michael. I didn't do anything. And why the fuck would you even care if I did?"

"Why did you email me that article?"

"So that you would see it, obviously."

"What did you do to her?" I asked and the anger was on the verge of exploding in me.

"I didn't do anything. I haven't even seen her since Friday. She's at home with bronchitis or whatever. Why do you even care? She broke your heart."

A relief overwhelmed me. Mia being ill was definitely better than being in school, exposed to Lilly's lack of mercy.

But there was a point in her words. Why did I even care? She did break my heart. I never wanted to see her, think of her again, no matter my heart trying to convince me otherwise.

"Don't pick on her, Lilly. Whatever happened, happened between us. Don't give her hard time."

I refrained myself rom saying please. Lilly would never let me hear the end of it.

"See, brother dear, this is where you are wrong. Whatever happened between you two, also happened to me, because, a, you are my brother, and b, somehow in this mess I managed to lose my boyfriend who mysteriously is her new consort. So, yeah, it does concern me, a lot, and do not even try telling me to leave it alone!"

I grumbled something in response. I had always been a master of avoiding high school shit, and now I was the center of this mess. And so it was really true, not just press shooting their mouth of? Was she really with JP now? What a class act, both of them. Maybe they deserved each other, after all, I wondered with my lips pressed tightly, angrily together.

My mind was torn again. As much as I wanted to protect Mia from Lilly, I wanted to see her hurt at the same time. Why bother, if she just threw it all away, in a blink of an eye, running straight to the first consort-wannabe?

And what the fuck was JP thinking, playing like this with my sister? I wanted to break his face again, all the way from Japan.

"Just leave it alone till you calm down," I somehow managed to say, lying to myself in the first place.

"I will never come down," Lilly exclaimed before hanging up on me. I cursed into the phone, despite knowing she couldn't hear me.

I sat there, with the screams of a Japanese game host being the only sound. I didn't understand the word he was saying, and it just increased the feeling of not belonging. I turned the television off, hoping the silence would help me think.

With every breath I took, Boris' words were echoing in my mind even louder. Was he psychic, calling me as if knowing there was something he could do for me?

And so I called him back. He picked up immediately, like he was sitting by the phone, waiting on my call.

"Boris, there might be something you can do for me," I said, scaring myself with how beaten my voice sounded. She was killing me, and she was in New York and I stuck in Japan.

"Of course, what is it?" Boris acted like it wasn't obvious from my voice.

"Look, I don't understand what is happening over there, but from what I gathered while talking to Lilly … could you watch over Mia for me, for a while, I mean? Until things calm down? I am afraid of what Lilly could do to her."

"Your sister can certainly do bad things when she outs her mind to it," he said. "Of course. I'll do what I can, Michael. Do you want me to tell you when things happen?"

I wanted to ask him what he meant by things, but caught myself soon enough. Just thinking of possible developments awaked the anger in me again. She wasn't seriously going out with him! She couldn't possibly!

"I would like that," I said and suddenly felt very, very tired. So tired, the feelings overwhelmed me, almost knocking me down. And it hurt, it hurt so much it brought the pressure into my eyes.

"No problem, Michael," Boris quickly said, as if knowing how I was feeling. "And don't worry, things will work out. They have to, it is the only right thing."

I didn't have the strength to tell him things more often than not go down the wrong way, ending in the worst possible outcome.

To Be Continued.

Broughttoyouby:::winter.