An Elder's Advice

"Neh, Usopp?"

"..."

"Usopp?"

"..."

"Usopp~? Yoo-hoo~?"

Luffy tried various times on getting the marksman's attention, but he only sat on the ground once he and Chopper returned from the Merry, staring lifelessly into the sand of the shore. Nami decided setting up camp would be more sufficient than walking all night in search of the precious treasure, so she sent the two back to the ship a few yards away for blankets. Needless to say, Usopp did not come back with coverage, much to the navigator's dismay, and sulked about something completely unknown to the rest of them. Chopper asked if he was hurt, which Usopp quickly disregarded, and Luffy had been poking him in his forehead ever since. Robin sat next to the orange-haired girl, legs crossed while extra hands continued to keep the recklessly put together fire going without so much as a sound.

"This isn't fun anymore. Normally you would've made a funny story about why I shouldn't be bothering the great Captain Usopp, but you're just all...boring and quiet. I don't like it," Luffy pouted, scooting away slightly. Chopper nodded in agreement; he had been like that the entire walk back to camp. The small doctor really wanted to hear another awesome adventure story rather than Nami ordering him to collect fire wood.

"I'm just...really confused about Zoro and Sanji-kun," Usopp finally explained, "I really want to know what's happening with them."

"Yeah, it's obvious Zoro lied to us about his wounds and bandages. But why? Also, Sanji-kun is acting a bit more out of character. There's not much evidence to go off of," Nami said.

"It's not just that. I could've sworn I heard Zoro..." the sniper visibly blushed, "...going 'meow' over and over again."

Nami suddenly stared into the sand with him, coping his blank, thoughtful expression perfectly. "That is really confusing," a grin broke her stale gaze, "But delicious blackmail!"

As the two crew members bickered about how incredibly wrong Nami was being, Robin announced that she would be nodding off early tonight. Everyone wished her a goodnight as she wrapped herself up snuggly in one of the blankets Chopper brought.

"I feel like Zoro isn't telling us something," Luffy interrupted, gaining their focus, "Something really important. But first mates don't keep secrets from their nakama, so whatever Zoro's hiding," Luffy chuckled good-heartedly, though he felt a bit of anger in his chest, "It must be really bad if it's worth me getting pissed."

:~:

It pained Zoro to sneak out of the cook's arms to go to the bathroom, though whether or not Sanji was purposely trying to cuddle in his sleep was beyond him. The swordsman worked up such exhaustion wriggling out of the other's tight, warm grip and almost woke Sanji with his heavy panting alone. So here he was, splashing water onto his hot face in front of the mirror, staring at his calm reflection. That is, until a mouth appeared to have formed on his forehead, along with flower petals.

"GYAH!" Zoro frantically felt above his eyes for it, but apparently it stayed on the mirror. A single ear and blue eye followed afterwards, and he wasn't stupid enough not to realize who they belonged to. "What the hell do you want, surprising me like that?" he questioned skeptically.

Robin chuckled, her lips curling, "I only wanted to check on you both, seeing as you've gotten everyone into a worried and confused state. Anything you want to share?"

"Like what? Nothing's wrong," Zoro insisted. Robin, however, prodded further for more elaboration.

"Oh, so you don't feel wrong about lying to us? How you lack strength? And you don't feel that anything is wrong with having sexual interactions with Cook-san? The latter is actually wonderful to hear; not so much the first part, though."

Wait a second.

Zoro's jaw nearly fell off. How the fuck did Robin know all of this? He saw her leave with everyone else! Unless..."How long have you've been spying on us?! You damn nosy woman! Don't you dare tell the others about this. They'll just worry even more."

"Are you afraid of them worrying-"

"I'm not afraid of anything!"

"-or are you afraid of how they'll react?" Zoro held his tongue as uncertainty crept up the back of his neck. Why did her words make his blood run deathly cold? Robin glared at him in disapproval, the one eye looking surprisingly menacing than two together ever would. "Kenshi-san, I've been watching over you since Queen Azami left; it was quite obvious that she took something of yours, but none of us could be sure what. Did you honestly think that your nakama would judge you? Call you 'useless'? I'm rather offended if you do. I suggest you come clean when we return, because Sencho-san is very impatient to find out the cause of his first mate's distress."

Zoro had been itching to ask if Robin knew that the cook did...things to him, but the question seemed too risky. And Luffy was upset about this? He wouldn't be angry if the captain decided to jump him for answers tomorrow; he'd be pissed as well if in the same situation. But this feeling, this hunch that telling the crew would cause trouble didn't fade, even while Robin assured him nothing terrible would happened from such a petty lie. An arm sprouted out of the mirror as Zoro was lost in thought, and struck his cheek roughly, leaving a minor sting. The swordsman winced and cradled it carefully, growling out, "What the fuck was that for?"

"That was for lying to us. I could always deliver another if you plan to keep this lie up-"

"Okay, I'll tell them! But I'm not..." Zoro swallowed as a slight blush dusted his cheeks, "I'm not telling them about me and the cook."

"And why is that?" Robin smiled; she was getting somewhere.

"'Cause it's-it's shameful! A man like me falling for a prissy cook. They would-"

"'Falling'? 'They would' what, Kenshi-san? Root for you? Congratulate you? It's about what you want, what makes you happy. What matters to you, will matter to us. I'm here for you, Kenshi-san; we're here for you. Please make the correct decision. I'd hate to see you miserable just because your pride got in the way," Robin's thin lips curled in a reassuring smile, though it seemed a bit sad. Zoro looked into her eye deeply, searching for something, anything else that the older knew, but she was amazingly good at hiding that kind of information. Although the swordsman didn't quite trust her, it felt like lying to his own mother if he didn't say the whole truth. Did she have that effect with everyone on the crew?

"You can choose to tell me yourself about Cook-san's actions, but you don't have to. I already know, and I wish to know what you will do about it."

"Robin," Zoro found himself calling, voice hoarse with fear. This was too much; she was overwhelming him with her sudden knowledge. No one should have known what was happening; that was the reason Zoro kept quiet. Now what was he supposed to do? Robin would tell the crew, wouldn't she? What would happen to Sanji if Luffy found out? Zoro's chest ached as if someone were stomping on it with all their might at the important thought. Would Luffy kick him off the ship for hurting another nakama? Would Zoro's words even matter? "Robin," he breathed out again a bit shakily, "I'm so confused. I...don't know what to do."

The archaeologist ran her fingers through his green, matted locks in comfort. "What do you want to do?"

"I...I just want the cook to stay. That's what matters to me, but I'm...I'm not sure," Zoro sighed as he headed for the widely open door (he'll be damned if he had to exhaust himself opening it again), "I'm gonna go lie on the deck. Staying inside isn't helping me very much." Robin vanished without a word of understanding, pink flower petals falling onto the sink's outer rim. Zoro held his face in his hands as he gathered himself, taking deep breaths repeatedly. This was going to hell, and fast.

:~:

Sanji stirred in his sleep, feeling the hard floorboards for the other body he had previously entangled himself in, but to his shock and disappointment, the other spot was cold and empty once he opened his eyes. He sat up, looking around the room for the swordsman, finding not another soul. Why did Zoro leave? I guess he really did just want the sex, Sanji thought to himself. Why did he feel betrayed if he convinced himself that he didn't care? Why did he have the sudden urge to search for the other man? I didn't think sleeping with Zoro would fuck me up this bad.

They had made quite a mess before falling asleep. The sex toy out in the open, the handbag had somehow been knocked over, a bit of their bodily fluids dried on the floor; the cook scowled in disgust. He left the mess with him?! That marimo bastard! He pulled on his pants as he mumbled colorful curses about the damn swordsman, until something caught his attention. The sex toy...it had a pair of pursed lips jutting out from the tip...had that been there before?

"Cook-san."

Sanji's heart plummeted into his stomach at the familiar voice. "Robin-chwan?"

"Yes. I have a bone to pick with you," she stated as an eye and ear formed as well on the toy's side, giving it a monstrous, deformed appearance. Two arms sprouted from under it, acting as legs, and walked closer towards the uncomfortable blonde.

The chef took a step back out of impulse, "That is beyond disturbing, Robin-chan. Like...I can't even swoon over your beauty when you look like that."

Robin scowled bitterly as she spoke, "I am not here for you to swoon over. I'm here to discuss why you've been harassing Kenshi-san, and using his lack of strength to your advantage. That doesn't seem like something nakama would do."

Sanji paled, "He...told you?"

"Yes and no. I've always known, but he sort of confirmed it. It's not his fault."

The cook wanted to disappear off the face of the planet, to bury himself alive, to escape this somehow or some way, but it was inevitable. Robin knew from the start, every dirty, embarrassing, assaulting thing he did to Zoro in his time of helplessness and confusion. He actually used and betrayed the other man for his own game, telling himself time and time again that he wouldn't care if Zoro never spoke or associated with him again, that he wouldn't care if Zoro would be hurt, that he could forget about this all together and simply not care about anything regarding the swordsman.

But apparently he was wrong. Apparently, Sanji did care, immensely. He cared about everything Zoro did, how he felt, where he went; the cook wanted to run out the damn door naked to look for him not even five minutes ago! And here he stood, caught in front of somebody who already knew about the cruel way he treated Zoro, not knowing what to do or say.

"Please," Robin said softly, her tone had gone considerably lower, "tell me what your reason was for hurting Kenshi-san the way you did."

There was officially no way out of this.

"Remember how...angry I was about the possibility of him being stronger than me?" Robin nodded sagely as he swallowed, "I wanted something over him that I could have if it did come to that. Something..."

"Personal? Something morally wrong to have over another person's head? I can't believe you would stoop to blackmail, Cook-san. Was it more important than Kenshi-san's trust?"

Sanji stared at the ground with obvious uncertainty to go on, avoiding the dildo's displeased attitude. Yes, it was a shitty thing to do; he didn't care if it was before. "But in the end, Zoro had wanted it," he said aloud, "He only wanted the sex. And he got what he wanted."

Robin stayed silent as she watched the other tearing up, not entirely surprised as she should have been. "I don't think you deserve to cry, Cook-san-"

"I'm not crying, Robin-chwan!"

"-but it shows that you know you've done wrong, and that you really do care. I hope you know what you need to do now," the older woman pressed. Sanji wiped his eyes (they weren't wet, dammit) and sighed. Would she really make him tell the crew? Who knows what Luffy would do? If anything, Sanji knew he should prepare for a punch to the face. Or to be thrown off.

Robin's body parts faded one by one, leaving only her mouth. "I do not think everyone needs to know, but it would be best to at least inform Sencho-san tomorrow."

Sanji began to protest as her lips left nothing other than flower petals, but his words would've went unheard, considering her current lack of ears. He sighed in exasperation, staring at the toy with a stomach full of anxiety.

Zoro stared at his sensei intently, confused as to why Koshiro stopped him on the way to the door. He was finally about to leave the dojo, to go out and make a name for himself, and suddenly Koshiro wants to stall? Typical. The older man smiled widely, holding a framed picture of a woman Zoro had seen only about twice in his life, considering Koshiro never took it out of the shrine. "Before you go, Zoro, a bit of advice," he spoke in his usual calm tone, though the swordsman could tell he was more ecstatic about something on the inside.

"When you find love out there, don't let it go. Do everything you can to hang onto it, to accept and cherish it. I don't want you to end up like a certain foolish old man I know."

"Why did you pick now to tell me about that woman?" Zoro asked respectively. He wasn't going to berate the elder about it, but it would be nice to know.

"Well," Koshiro gave a sheepish grin, as always, "I didn't think you were ready all those times you asked me before. Love is a serious yet wonderful thing, Zoro. You can't take it for granted or too lightly. Promise me that you'll live a happy life, and come back home to tell me about it some day?"

Zoro genuinely smiled, something he did quite often when with his beloved teacher, nodding sternly towards him. Of course he intended to come back and tell Koshiro about every enemy and challenged he'd faced, but love?

"Damn," Zoro sighed, "why'd he have to place this on me? Curse me right before I left? What kind of good-bye is that?"

"What're you going on about? Someone giving you the Marimo Plague?"

Zoro whipped his head around, forcing his neck bones to crack unwillingly. Sanji stood by the railing across from him, seemingly gigantic. The serious look in his single blue eye gave him a bad feeling. Was it because the swordsman left him on the floor alone? In retrospect, that seemed a bit wrong, but he wasn't thinking straight at the time.

"Zoro," the actual use of his name caught his full attention, "we need to talk."