Does This Qualify as a Pact?
Those precisely chosen words set off an alarming amount of panic in the swordsman, which he would never admit, but he kept his expression stoic and unchanging as the cook closed in on him. Sanji stood over him for a moment before kneeling down, invading the other's personal space as much as he could without touching him. Zoro found himself staring into that spiraled eyebrow, and immediately thought about how helplessly lost he could get in them, but in a good way. Though, he had a hard time establishing how in the hell there even was a good way.
The blonde's breath ghosted warmly above Zoro's nose; a sensation he restrained himself from enjoying. Silence deafened them both before the first mate had the nerve to break it, regretfully. "Talk about what?" he questioned, yawning softly.
"Robin-chan...She knows," a bit of red painted the swordsman's cheeks; she confronted the cook as well? Sanji continued with a dull sigh, "And she's making me tell Luffy."
Sanji spoke with a tone Zoro had never heard before; he couldn't quite pinpoint what he was feeling. His single ocean blue eye seemed distant and somewhat cloudy, opened widely as it focused on only the mosshead. Or perhaps the cook was spacing out; Zoro wasn't entirely sure if he was looking at him or past him. Sanji suddenly dipped his head forward limply with a small chuckle, completely humorless, his shoulders moving along with the bitter sound. Zoro opened his mouth to speak again, (to ask what was so funny) but something unexpected forced his words back down his throat. Upon closer inspection, the chef trembled slightly in obvious agony and trepidation. Sanji leaned his forehead against Zoro's, flashing a sorrowful smile while pulling the other man into a slow, tight embrace. Zoro felt him shake harder as he bit something out into his shirt, making whatever he said inaudible. "What?" Zoro asked dumbly.
"Zoro...I'm, I'm sorry. So, so sorry," Sanji repeated over and over, allowing tears to fall down his face and onto Zoro's chin. Robin was right, he didn't deserve to cry. Being the emotional person he was, he couldn't stop the tear flow even if his eyes were permanently dried. Zoro chose to stay quiet, waiting for the cook to gather himself and continue, knowing he wasn't finished. "Chances are that Luffy'll kick me off when I tell him. And...the mere thought of losing everyone as nakama and family like that, losing you, it..." Sanji laughed again hopelessly, "I'm staring death in the face, Zoro. I'll never find people like the crew out there, another family as thoughtful and perfect as you guys. I'll die without them. Especially you. I'd rather die than to not be with you. And in these few last moments...knowing what Luffy will do in a few more hours...it feels like a part of me is dying. I'm sorry, Zoro! I'm so stupid for hurting you like this, for making you feel trapped and betrayed! I'm..." Sanji sniffled, burying his nose in Zoro's hair, "I'm just happy I could give you what you wanted in the end."
"What...what do you mean?"
"Don't make me fucking say it. The reminder will just make all of this even worse for me."
Zoro threw his arms around Sanji's waist protectively, submitting to the urge to hold him back. Seeing the cook terrified of losing everyone, of losing him, caused a large twinge in his own heart that stung for several minutes. "I'm not happy, Sanji. I didn't get what I wanted. If anything, I got the opposite," Zoro clarified.
It was the cook's turn to be puzzled, his grip on the swordsman loosening out of uncertainty. He didn't make Zoro happy, not even in the least bit? "Huh?"
"I'm not going to be happy until we confront Luffy. Hell, I might never be happy, but we won't know until the captain has made his decision."
Sanji stared in shock; the tears had ceased their onslaught of wetness, and pulled away from Zoro without releasing him. "What're you saying? Do you really want me off the ship that much? Do you...hate me?"
Zoro sighed heavily, avoiding direct eye contact with the other man. He couldn't bear to get anymore attached to those beautiful orbs. "Dumbass cook, a while ago, someone told me that if I found love in this world, not to let the person go, and I'm saying that I don't plan on letting good advice go to waste."
"Stop, Zoro."
"I don't want you to leave; I can't let you."
"Stop."
"Believe me when I say I hate you with every fiber of my being," Zoro finally glanced at him, finding the cook's eyes shut tightly, "for making me love you with all my heart."
"Zoro!"
The sudden pain in his back took Zoro longer to realize that Sanji was now hovering above him, visible eye bloodshot red, tear-stained face, and gaze full of blinding fury. Zoro didn't know what he did wrong.
"Don't say shit like that! You can't love me! I'm the fucking bastard who degraded you, took your pride and played with it! Don't...don't fucking give me hope when I know that the sun will rise in a few hours, when I know the crew will come back around lunchtime, when I know the outcome of this situation before it happens! When I..."
Zoro squeezed his forearm lightly, "Cook?"
"When I know that staying is inevitable for me. I've acted like a jackass, Zoro. You aren't justified to let me do or say or have anything from you, and neither is everyone else. Just remember, all the shitty things I did to you before, I'd kick my own ass for it now." Sanji tried to stand up, but Zoro's arm shot out quickly, catching the corner of the blonde's orange dress shirt. The chef smiled sadly, and continued to stand, but Zoro's grip was...surprisingly strong.
"How are you doing that?" Sanji breathed in amazement, "Is your strength back?"
The swordsman shook his head, leaving the other in a fit of confusion. How the hell was Zoro preventing him from getting up? "I can't let you go, cook," Zoro gave him a stern look, his entire arm trembling from the extra effort his hold took on his body, "I refuse."
Sanji actually laughed at the marimo's stubbornness, still slightly dumbfounded that Zoro could stop him physically. He noticed the swordsman's tightly clenched fingers laced with his shirt shaking, and pulled it away almost too easily, intertwining his long fingers with Zoro's. He yawned, the sudden heaviness of his body was too much. Zoro watched in horror as Sanji softly crashed onto him, dead weight making it useless to try to escape. A light snore followed, making the first mate sigh in defeat. In a coincidental sense, Sanji's warm, cozy body acted like a blanket. Maybe a quick nap wouldn't hurt.
:~:
Chopper and Usopp chatted ahead of everyone about medicinal herbs (or monkeys made out of mangos, which ever) carrying what little supplies they brought in backpacks. Nami, Robin, and Luffy walked in silence most of the way, each preoccupied mentally. Luffy couldn't stop thinking of what Zoro was keeping from him so diligently and if it had something to do with the sea witch or not. The navigator had similar thoughts, except they were somewhat based on the swordsman making animal sounds like Usopp claimed. Robin knew full well what needed to be done, but she had an eerie feeling that something eventful would happen as her eyes fell into the rhythm of the ocean's small waves. Perhaps it was good, or perhaps it was only the waters giving her this uncertainty.
Nami had been calling Sanji's and Zoro's names ever since they made it back to the Merry to let down the gangplank, but no one had responded or made any indication that they were on board. Robin gladly volunteered to help, quickly summoning extra limbs for the job. The orange-haired girl went on about how it wasn't the woman's job or responsibility, and where the hell the guys were while she boarded the ship. Chopper and Usopp immediately went to the galley, expecting the cook and a freshly made lunch to be presented on the table. They groaned disappointedly when they didn't even find the stove on.
"You guys ate fish not even an hour ago," Nami stated, taking a seat across from them, "And Sanji-kun probably assumed that."
"But my appetite came back," Luffy whined as he sat on the floor crossed-legged, holding his feet together. They didn't find the legendary treasure's whereabouts, which is maybe why Nami was in a bad enough mood to call him a bottomless trashcan.
Robin had vanished from the group once they returned. She did not find them in the men's quarters, storage, or the infirmary. Had the cook and swordsman left the Merry? It seemed unlikely, but the possibility became more of a reality the longer Robin searched. Why did she feel so compelled? Surely the cook wouldn't hurt Zoro anymore, on account of his sincere remorse he showed to her?
The sun shined brightly high in the sky, and it wasn't even noon yet. Robin sighed as she headed towards the stern; why was she feeling so uneasy? Climbing up the stairs, a blur of yellow and green caught her attention. Sanji was settled atop of Zoro comfortably, straddling him, face intimately buried in the other's neck, their fingers tightly tangled together, though it was obvious they were fast asleep. Zoro's free arm held Sanji's smaller frame as if it were extremely precious, in Robin's perspective. A soft smile grazed her lips at the scene, and then she huffed, tugging the ends of her hair irritably in frustration. Why was this public affection so undeniably adorable?! She was a mature, grown woman, ogling at how two men cuddled! Honestly, she didn't want to interrupt them. Telling Luffy could wait, couldn't it? There was no reason to rush...right?
No, the sooner this was over with, the better. Who knows, maybe Luffy wouldn't be so harsh on Sanji if he told him as soon as possible? Robin sighed once again, walking up to the two men entangled together, and tapped the cook's shoulder lightly. Sanji blinked a few times, thinking it was the swordsman and only snuggled further into Zoro's neck, mumbling about ruining moments. Zoro stirred as well, but ended up groaning for Sanji to move less and blanket more. The grin on the raven-haired woman's face grew tenfold.
"Cook-san, Kenshi-san, it's time to wake up."
Zoro's eyes remained closed as sleep took over his tone, "Ngh...damn...noishy woman..."
"Don't...talk 'bout Wobin-chwan like dat...bashtard..." Sanji slurred, squeezing the other's hand.
"But she ish..."
"No, she's not..."
"But Shanji..."
The cook yawned, sitting up slightly with an annoyed, tired scowl, "Ugh, dammit, marimo-kun, why're you-"
Robin met his confused gaze, and her smile quickly vanished, replaced with a moment of rage once she saw his profile. Her hand struck his unsuspecting cheek, leaving behind a red mark clearly visible on Sanji's pale skin. He hissed and fell off of Zoro, holding his face for dear life. As quickly as the rage came, it was gone in a flash, but the archaeologist still didn't apologize. Zoro only watched half-awake.
"Robin-chan, why?" Sanji pleaded desperately, his obvious love for women beginning to show. The swordsman shook his head, scowling at the pathetic look the blonde man sported. If he did that, he'd be halfway across the ocean with a fresh shoe mark embedded in his skull. Why did girls get better treatment?
"I forgot to do that earlier. You deserved it, Cook-san," Robin explained, keeping a stern frown. Having the sincere moment more or less ruined now, Zoro stood up shakily, not hiding the fact that even the simplest of tasks were difficult for him anymore. There was no point. Sanji groaned at the sharp pain, but accepted it as another form of punishment for his deeds. Zoro saw the obvious look of defeat of the cook's features, feeling a tad remorse. Realization hit him at an alarming rate; if Robin returned, wouldn't that mean the rest of the crew did also, including Luffy? The thought of his frighteningly strong and vengeful captain made the swordsman nervous of today's outcome. He didn't care what Sanji had done to him, he needed the shitty cook to stay by his side. After hearing that Sanji would literally die without them, Zoro soon realized that he would, too.
"I'll tell everyone about my problem," Zoro suddenly announced, gaining the raven hair's attention, "but I'm not telling them about the cook's...choice of action."
Sanji gaped at him as if he were completely psychotic. "Zoro-"
"No, cook," the first mate was tremendously determined as he spoke clearly, gazing at the blonde man, "We can't. I can't. Luffy will be furious at you; there's no telling what he'll do. I don't want to see you hurt. It would kill me on the inside, just knowing that you could be beaten to a pulp, and kicked off, potentially stopping the pursuit of your dream...I refuse! Robin, if you care about me as nakama, you wouldn't say a word of this. I-"
"Stop! Just-just stop, you idiot!" Sanji's face glowed a crimson hue in anger and annoyance, his fists clenched painfully tight. Zoro watched in shock as the cook lunged towards him, grabbing the sides of his face lovingly, yet firm, staring him deep in the eyes, as if looking into his very soul...
"You can't ask Robin to lie for us! .What I did was wrong, Zoro," Sanji whispered lightly, "and I knew that. I did before, but I still chose to go through with it. I deserve whatever Luffy does to me. But...that doesn't change the fact that I love you. I just wish it didn't take such shitty situations and a shitty long time for me to see it. You can't interfere, marimo. I don't want you kicked off, too."
Zoro could honestly say that strong, persistent tears were forming behind his eyes as Sanji headed towards the inside of the ship, burning his retinas the longer he held them back. He didn't see crying as a weakness, but emotional pain seemed to be the only real pain he couldn't bite back and train away. His heart ached painfully when the blonde rounded the corner, disappearing from his sight, and the dreaded tear drops finally broke through. Robin watched as the trembling swordsman fought the oncoming sadness, biting his bottom lip to trap his low sobs. She put a light comforting hand on Zoro's shoulder, but nothing was comforting at the moment. Except the thought of the curly-browed bastard he's come to love so much. Resisting the urge to double-over and never move again from his spot on the floor, Zoro reluctantly followed in tow of the older woman.
:~:
Luffy laughed at Usopp's poor attempt at singing an old sea shanty brightly as the cook and first mate entered the room. Robin silently strolled past them to sit at the table beside Nami, folding her hands together patiently. Zoro looked ready to collapse from depression and anxiety, eyes already bloodshot, his fingers twitching at his sides as he avoided so much as glances at the man a few inches next to him. Robin feared for a second that Zoro would pass out. The captain frowned once he spotted Zoro standing stock still behind him with possibly the most miserable expression he'd ever seen on someone. He immediately asked what was troubling him, but Zoro didn't answer. "Zoro, are you okay?" Again, no verbal response. Luffy kept prodding at the situation until the green-haired man let out a choked sob of his name.
"Luffy...I'm sorry for lying to you and everyone else about the sea witch incident. The truth is I'm not fine. She did take something from me, and without it, I couldn't do much of anything with it being a hassle. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want you all to think of me as nothing short of useless. Without my strength, everyone was in potential danger and didn't know. I'm sorry for my selfishness, Captain. I'm sorry for the important piece of information I kept to myself."
Luffy was shocked to say the least at his second-in-command's behavior. Yes, he was slightly annoyed, but Zoro told him the truth before something extremely life-threatening had time to occur. Regardless, Zoro was still staring at the tear-covered floorboards, not having the nerve to look him in the face. The captain's previous playful demeanor had changed long ago into something more caring and parental as he placed a hand on the other's forearm. "...It's alright, Zoro," Luffy nodded sagely, causing the swordsman to look up, "I forgive you. You shouldn't doubt your nakama and expect mock from them. You can tell us anything; you already know that."
"We all have our insecure moments that we wouldn't want to share, but eventually we realize that everyone is here to help with them," Nami interjected, along with positive nods from the little doctor. Zoro sniffled, wiping his eyes roughly with the back of his palm, the tear flow somewhat ceasing. Suddenly, a thud sounded throughout the room, and everyone's attention flew towards the ship's cook, who crashed onto his knees with his head bowed lowly. Luffy raised an eyebrow, "Sanji?"
"Zoro...wasn't the only one who knew. I found out the day it happened, but my choices were unorthodox and unacceptable." Sanji shook violently as tears of his own joined the ground beneath him. There was no going back; this was it. "I took advantage of Zoro for petty...egotistical reasons; when he was alone and confused in this, I...I wasn't there for him like I should have been. I'm deeply sorry, Captain, for everything. I've apologized millions of times to you, Zoro, but it seems that'll never be enough. I hurt you, and that's something I can never make up for. I deserve anything that comes to me, Luffy. Even being thrown overboard and abandoned on this island."
The air in the galley was thick and suffocating; this new knowledge striking everyone for the first time. Luffy stared the blonde man down with intensity as Zoro and everyone else waited in nervous impatience. Sanji didn't stop shaking. He'd never been so scared in his life, not even while facing death on that damn rock years ago. His friends, his family, his love, could all be taken away from him with a simple, short word from Luffy. He could lose everything in this single moment.
"Sanji...although what you said you did to another nakama is despicable," Luffy growled, clenching his fist, "and you've apologized for it apparently more than once, it's not my decision on whether you stay on board."
Chopper blinked, obviously not understanding the sudden drop of authority. "I thought it was?"
"No," Luffy shook his head, "it's not. It's Zoro's."
Said swordsman felt his heart drop. How?
Luffy turned to face him fully, seriousness overwhelming, "Sanji wronged you. Nakama stick together, side by side, helping one another. It's up to you to decide to cut all ties with him, or accept his forgiveness and trust him not to hurt you ever again. I'll even kick his ass for you, but not unless you want that to happen. It's about your opinion, too, Zoro. You're the victim here. Do you want to stay on the same ship as Sanji?"
The swordsman couldn't have nodded fast enough. He could hardly believe Luffy wasn't going berserk, ranting and raving like he would do to an enemy. He realized Robin's earlier words of sincerity were actually right. Everyone...supported him in what he chose to do. What did he expect from...family?