a/n: sorry this took so long to update!

Freddie stood there staring at Carly. He forced himself to think instead of fantasize about the bare breasts right before his very eyes, which was incredibly difficult to say the least.

The cold wet feeling against his skin reminded him of his own clothing dilemma. He quickly pulled his shirt over his head and positioned himself next to Carly.

"Freddie!" Carly covered herself. "Stop looking at my boobs!"

"I couldn't help it," Freddie kept staring at her. "I think you're beautiful, Carly. I always have."

"Awwww, Freddie!" Carly kept one arm over her chest and reached out the other arm and hugged him. "You are the best friend ever!"

Freddie wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him and running his hands along the soft skin on her back. He looked over her shoulder as he slid his hands down further until they were cupping her naked ass.

The dryers shut off and that's when Freddie heard the giggling. Carly heard it too and together they looked toward the source. A group of girls had come in to use the showers. They were in bathrobes and flips-flops with bath caddies in their hands.

"We're not interrupting are we?" one of them asked with a laugh.

"Uhhh," Freddie looked at Carly who was nine shades of red. "Could you give us a minute?"

"A minute?" the girl laughed again. "Sounds like you need to work on your stamina."

"I…I…," Freddie stuttered as Carly ripped the shirt out of his hands.

She turned her back to the girls and slipped Freddie's shirt over her head. Quickly they both left the bathroom on their way back to Freddie's room.

"Freddie!" Carly tugged at his arm. "They saw my butt!"

"You have a very nice butt. I'm sure they're all jealous."

"I can't believe they saw my butt!" Carly repeated drunkenly.

"They saw my butt," Carly told a random student walking down the hall.

Freddie grabbed her arm and pulled her toward his dorm room before she made a total ass of herself.

When they came back in the room Sam was sitting comfortably on Freddie's bed helping herself to his private stash of Dorskitos.

"Hey Gibby!" Sam laughed as a shirtless Freddie entered the room.

"HA HA," Freddie replied. "What the hell Sam!" he exclaimed as he ripped the bag from her hands. "This is a birthday present! MY birthday present."

"Give it back," Sam made a grab for the bag, but missed as Freddie held it over his head. "And who gives a person Dorskitos for their birthday?"

"My RA," Freddie reached into the bag, fisting a handful of the tasty snack and shoving it in his mouth. "MMMMMM," he chewed obnoxiously.

"Dork," Sam commented as she took another sip of her beer.

Suddenly there was an ear shattering blast of music.

"Ahhhhh! Carly!" Freddie and Sam yelled as they covered their ears.

"Ooopsies!" Carly yelled over the CuddleFish track that was playing.

Freddie rushed over to his laptop and lowered the volume, watching as Carly pulled Sam off the bed. They both began jumping around screaming the lyrics.

"Hey!" Freddie yelled.

"HEY!" he yelled louder. When they didn't respond he turned off the song and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Freddie!" Carly and Sam moaned.

"What's your problem? That was a great song!"

"It's time for more shots," Freddie reminded them as he rubbed his palms together.

"Yes," Sam's eyes sparkled, "Time for shots. In fact, I'll pour this time."

Freddie noticed the way the blonde was eyeing him and he knew it meant trouble.

Sam took the shot glass and filled it to the brim with Jack. "Here you go Freddie," she smiled.

"What did you do to it, Sam?" Freddie frowned as he accepted the glass.

"Nothing," she shrugged.

"Did you spit in the bottle?"

"Nope," her grin got wider.

"Did you pee in the bottle?"

"No," Sam rolled her eyes. "I would never waste good alcohol. You know that."

"What number is this?" Carly asked as she threw her arms around Sam hugging her.

"Eleven," Freddie answered as he set the lip of the shot glass against his mouth. Keeping an eye out for Sam's reaction, he tipped his head and poured the whisky down his throat.

He coughed and sputtered. His eyes started watering from the burning sensation.

"Ugh!" Freddie choked as he grabbed Sam's beer to use as a chaser. As the sweet carbonation filled his mouth, he saw Sam's triumphant smirk. He realized as he looked at the label, that Sam had replaced his watered down Jack with the new bottle that he'd bought just that day. Bitch.

"I believe that is Shot Numero Uno, Freddilicious," Sam laughed as she took her beer from him, "only twenty more to go."

Fuck. Freddie thought to himself.

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

-o-

Six Shots later…..

"Come on Freddie!"

"You can do it!"

Sam and Carly cheered as Freddie tried to shuffle a deck of cards. He was still able to do the first part, where you interlace the two piles together but when it came to making the 'bridge' the cards shot everywhere.

"Aw man," Freddie snorted as he picked up the fallen cards.

"One more shot," Carly said as she held out the shot glass, "and you get to make a wish."

"He already got a wish," Sam told her, "he doesn't get another one until he gets to fourteen shots."

"Sam, it's his birthday," Carly replied, "and look at him," she gestured to Freddie who as was dropping more cards than he was picking up. "He probably won't even make it to ten."

"So," Sam argued, "it's the ethics behind it."

"Do you even know what ethics means?" Carly started laughing.

"Yeah, sort of….," Sam trailed off as she drank her beer.

"Here you go, Freddie," Carly took the cards out of his hand and replaced them with the shot glass. "After this you get to make a wish."

"Finally," Freddie sighed as he downed the alcohol. "So for my wish," he began wiping his mouth with his hand, "I want to have sex tonight."

Sam and Carly looked at each other.

"Ok," Sam shrugged.

"Ok!" Freddie's eyes widened with excitement. Oh yes! I am soooo getting laid.

"Come on Carly," Sam got up and headed for the door.

"Wait. Where are you going?" Freddie went after them. "Aren't we going to have sex?"

"We. As in you and me. I don't think so Freddie," Sam laughed.

"But you said 'Ok'," he frowned.

"I said 'ok' to you having sex," Sam patted his head. "Carly and I are going to find someone for you. I'm sure there's a fat girl with low self-esteem somewhere on campus."

"Sam," Carly yanked her arm. "Don't worry Freddie, I'll make sure the girl isn't too…., well… I'll make sure whoever Sam picks is actually a female."

"No!" Freddie threw himself in front of the door, blocking them from leaving. "It has to be one of you!"

"See ya later, Carls," Sam tried to wedge herself between Freddie and the blocked door.

"I'm not doing it!" Carly exclaimed. "I think you should do it, Sam. You were his first kiss."

"He doesn't want me," Sam wrapped her hands around the door knob, "he's always liked YOU!"

"That's not true!" Carly shouted back, "I happen to know that Freddie likes blondes."

"OK. Fine," Sam walked away from the door, "Why don't we let Freddie pick?"

"And whoever he picks HAS to do it," Carly crossed her arms over her chest.

"Ankle swear," Sam met her friend's gaze.

"Ankle swear," Carly repeated.

Freddie laughed as the two girls went through their Ankle Swear routine from middle school. They hadn't done that in years.

"Ok, Freddie," Carly said as she and Sam turned to face him. "Pick."

Freddie stood there grinning like an idiot, "I pick...," he paused dramatically looking back and forth between them, "Both of you."

"Both!" they exclaimed.

"At the same time?" Carly blushed.

"Sounds good to me," Freddie ran his tongue over lips, envisioning his wildest fantasy coming true.

"Keep dreaming, Nub," Sam rolled her eyes. "You only get one of us."

"I believe you Ankle Swore that, and I quote "whoever he picks HAS to do it" and I picked both of you," Freddie raised his eyebrow triumphantly.

"Ankle Swear or not," Sam shrugged, "I'm not having sex with you."

"Freddie," Carly put her arm around him, "why don't Sam and I just go find someone for you?"

"What the hell?" Freddie furrowed his brow at them, "Am I THAT repulsive?"

"No. Not at all," Carly told him as she poked Sam in the side, hoping she would say the same thing.

"Then why won't either of you have sex with me," Freddie shouted. "I mean Sam sucked Spencer's dick! Spencer!"

Sam let out a loud sigh, "He snuck me into a wedding. There was an open bar and a buffet. It was a thank you."

"You've been drinking MY alcohol and eating MY food all night," Freddie replied. "I think you should be thanking me."

"He's got a point, Sam," Carly looked at the blonde girl.

"Alright," Sam cracked her knuckles as she glared at Carly, "I'll commit to a blow job IF you have sex with him."

"Uh," Carly stuttered as she looked at Freddie.

"I like Sam's idea," he said with a smile.

"So what do you say, Carly?" Sam leaned her head side to side, cracking her neck.

"OK, but you go first," Carly told Sam.

Sam mulled it over for a moment, before agreeing.

Yessss. Freddie pumped his fist in victory. A blow job and sex. This was going to be the best birthday ever.