A/N: Wonderful, wonderful feedback! You peops that leave the reviews are the best - thank you! Now, excuse my dodgy Italian terms of endearment and such - it all comes from Google, because I don't speak the language! lol

(For disclaimer, etc. - see Prologue)

Chapter 10

"You need to take care of yourself, cucciolo," said Mrs Rossini, putting a hand to Jess' shoulder. "You are too pale, far too pale!"

"I'm fine," he snapped a little, flinching away from her touch.

In a split second he regretted it and let out a long breath, letting all the frustration go with it. This wasn't Mrs R's fault, not any of it, and he never meant to take it out on her for a second. It had just been a long night after a series of other long nights and days. Staggering home at six in the morning, more tired than he'd ever been, Jess had hoped to avoid having to meet anybody on the way back to his apartment, most especially Mrs Rossini. She worried so much about him and about Rory too. It bothered him to have this conversation, to have her tell him he looked pale and unwell. Jess knew he did, he knew all this work was slowly killing him, but if nobody reminded him he could try to forget and make everything okay. Screw being realistic, he could deal with this.

"I'm sorry, Mrs R," he told her, eyes closed a moment as he found the calm centre that seemed to be eluding him more often than not lately. "But I am fine, honestly. It's tough right now, all the work and everything, but I'm coping."

She didn't look as if she believed him. Mrs Rossini had lived in the world too long to be easily fooled by a kid of nineteen who was over-stretching himself. Her arms folded across her chest, eyes narrowing. Never had an old woman in a pale blue bathrobe and curlers ever looked so severe.

"I don't like when you tell me lies, Jess," she shook her head. "I am old, I'm not stupid."

"You? Old? No way," he smirked and leaned back against the wall by her door, turning on the old Mariano charm because it had never failed to get him out of an awkward conversation with a woman yet. "Experienced of the world, that's all. I would never call you old, Mrs R."

"You think you can flatter your way out of this?" she questioned, one eyebrow raised. "You are good, young man, but not that good."

Jess almost laughed, almost. Nothing was quite funny enough to produce a genuine chuckle through the sheer weight of fatigue right now. Not many could out-smart him or see through him. Two women that always could bore the name of Gilmore. Mrs Rossini was the third and only other he had ever known.

"I worry about you, bambino."

"I know," he nodded, pushing off the wall and standing firm on shaky legs. "But seriousy, Mrs R, you don't have to. Money is tight as it is and now saving for the baby, I'm not gonna lie, it's hard, but me and Rory, we got this," he told her definitely. "I'm working, so is she for as long as she can and... and we'll get by."

Mrs Rossini seemed happy enough with his explanation of things, though she made him promise to be careful, take care of himself as well as his girlfriend and unborn child. Jess said he would and then she finally let him go.

No longer needing to put on a smiling act for his friend and neighbour, Jess felt his whole body just want to give in the moment Mrs R closed her door. There was another flight of stairs between him and his own apartment. Suddenly those few steps felt like miles, and every muscle in Jess' body screamed to be allowed to give up, give in, just collapse in a heap right here and rest.

He was working too hard, Jess knew he was. His body was telling him loud and clear, even if he had been too dumb to do the math and realise he just wasn't getting enough sleep to balance out the working hours. Rory hadn't realise how much time he spent split between his three different jobs. She thought he stayed in and slept when she was out herself, but he hardly ever did. They saw little of each other these past couple of weeks, and Jess was suffering that blow on top of just feeling exhausted all the time. He staggered up to the middle of the flight of stairs, pausing briefly in the stairwell. He considered sitting there a minute to get his breath back and paint on a smile before he got as far as facing Rory. He changed his mind when he noticed the used needle in one corner, the broken glass in the other.

Jess ran a shaky hand over his face and fought to keep moving. They couldn't stay here. It was okay when it was just him, he had even made his peace with Rory having to live here at first, because she was tougher than she looked most of the time. Now she was pregnant and there was a baby to think of. This was no place for Rory to live in her condition, and certainly no home for child. They needed something better, but everything in New York was expensive and getting worse all the time. This was literally the best they could afford here, and Jess knew he had to tell Rory, even though he was dreading it.

She was almost three months pregnant now, and so thin she was already starting to show. Jess worried about her constantly, especially working in the busy coffee shop down the street. Rory shouldn't be doing so much, he was sure, even though she insisted it was fine. She cited women in Africa that worked in the fields, let the baby just come tumbling out and then carried on picking vegetables like nothing happened. Jess didn't always know how to argue with her, even when she was making dumb statements like that. It was hard to be sharp, clever, and witty when your brain cells were dying from lack of sleep and your body was giving in from over-exertion.

Regardless, Jess knew they needed to get out of New York, he just wasn't sure where they were going to go. Stars Hollow kept springing to mind, no longer seeming like such a hellish place in their time of need. He trudged up the last few steps, thinking vaguely of an argument he had accidentally started, a the few days after discovering Rory was pregnant. Wherever they were going to end up, he had expected her home town to be Rory's first choice. Even considering how he left, he still thought she would be eager to get back soon, but the moment he suggested she call Lorelai, his girlfriend had kind of lost it on him.

"No! No, I am not calling my Mom. She wouldn't... She won't understand!"

"Rory, I know you left in bad circumstances, but you can't avoid Lorelai forever. She can help you."

"I don't need any help, not from her, not from that place. I have you. We have each other, why can't that be enough?"

"It is. For me, it is, but Rory, you two were so close, and she's gonna understand what you're going through..."

"No! She'd hate me, Jess. Don't you understand? I did what the one thing she never wanted me to. I copied her in the one thing she begged me not to!"

Jess winced as he reached the front door, recalling Rory's tears soaking his shoulder as he held her tight, rubbing her back, promising her everything would be okay. Lorelai could never hate her, he knew that, and Rory knew it too. She had just freaked herself out about all of this. Sure, Lorelai would be disappointed to know Rory's life wouldn't be quite what they planned now, but she would never, ever hate her baby girl, any more than Jess could hate his own child. He already loved this baby, be it boy or girl, never mind the fact he or she wouldn't be born for another six months.

He was going to be a father. Jess knew it but once in a while it hit him between the eyes all over again. Walking into the apartment and seeing Rory lying on her back in the bed, the bump at her stomach only just visible beneath the sheets, he remembered all over again. He was going to be a father. Jess had never wanted to call Luke so badly in all his life, but he wouldn't. To tell Luke the truth was to tell Lorelai, and that they had agreed not to do until Rory was ready. It was the same with the whole subject of Yale and Stars Hollow. She wanted him to leave it alone whilst she made a decision, but time ticked by, day by day, and Rory never made any decisions. She worked, she cleaned, she tried to cook and failed badly. Jess worked even more, and did all he could to make sure she was happy and comfortable, but it didn't come easy. They saw each other very little, and when they were together they were mostly sleeping. It was no life, but Jess wasn't going to give up on it. He had Rory and a baby to think of. Nothing else really mattered.

Kicking off his shoes and throwing his jacket aside, Jess laid down on top of the covers next to Rory. Her eyes flickered open when the bed shifted and her hand reached out to him. Jess caught her fingers in his own and squeezed, then raised them to his lips to kiss.

"Morning," he whispered, looking across at her with eyes that barely wanted to stay open.

"Hey," she replied, the word barely a sigh as she turned into him and cuddled up close. "What time is it?"

"Around six," he told her, wrapping his arms around her, kissing the top of her head where it lay on his chest now. "How're you feeling?"

"A little chilly, but okay," she told him, hugging him tighter.

She didn't feel quite as warm as she should, mostly because the apartment wasn't well heated and barely insulated. Summer was on its way out already. The warm sunny days were all well and good but when they were over, even a single room apartment was hard to keep warm in the bitter cold of a New York winter. It reminded Jess all over again that they couldn't stay, and that there was at least one place they could go that'd be better. If Rory had never come here, well, Jess couldn't bear to think about that at the moment, but he did know she would be getting ready to head back to Yale right now. Sophomore year had to be starting up in a couple of weeks, and still she refused to talk about it. This couldn't go on.

"Y'know, you're going to have to at least call Yale, tell them you're not going back right now," he muttered in the half-light. "At least, if you're definitely not going..."

"You know I'm not," said Rory with a frown, her head coming up off Jess' chest too fast. "You know I can't."

"Depends," he shrugged awkwardly against the mattress. "I mean, if your grandparents are still willing to pay after everything, we could go back and..."

"Jess!" she huffed, scrambling to sit up.

She put her back to him and folded her arms across her chest, a sure sign she was pissed. Jess didn't blame her. Rory had asked him, practically begged him, not to bring any of this stuff up again, not until she was ready. He didn't want to. He would love for them to live in some bubble of happiness with no worries about money or the future. Unfortunately, this was the real world, and these things had to be dealt with. It had to be now too.

"Rory", he sighed, pulling his body up to a sitting position even as every muscle protested. "I'm sorry," he told her, wrapping the covers around her shoulders as she shivered. "I promised that you could count on me, and you can," he reminded her, trying to hug her but she shrugged him off. "But we can't live like this anymore. You need to go back to Yale, somehow, and we need to..."

"No!" she yelled, cutting him off in a second. "I'm not going back to Yale, and I'm not going back to Stars Hollow. Not now, not like this!" she said frustrated. "I cannot face my Mom, she won't understand!"

"Then what are we gonna do, Rory?!" he yelled back at her, unable to help it when she was being so stubborn.

"I don't know!" she told him, getting up from the bed, flinging her arms wide and letting the bed sheets fall. "I don't know anything anymore! I... I need to make a list," she said suddenly, running her hands over face and though her hair as she spun a full circle. "A pro-con list," she clarified as she hunted down pen and paper from the table by the bed. "It always worked before, it's what we need to do..."

"Oh, come on!" Jess all but exploded as he leapt from the bed to. "Can't you grow up and just think for yourself, Rory?"

It was a cruel thing to say, perhaps, especially now when she was vulnerable and all, but right now everything had just come to a head. They were both so tired, so frustrated with everything, with each other, with life. All the pent up tension had to come out somewhere, and now here it was, loud and nasty as it exploded all over the apartment.

"Really?" she gasped at his words. "I'm the one that needs to grow up? Mr Runs Out The Door At The First Sign of Anything? God, Jess, I'm surprised you're still here. Isn't it about time you were running away already!"

If she had slapped him it would've hurt less, she knew it the moment she met his eyes and saw the pain there. Sure, he had meant to wound with his words too, but Rory was sure she had gone too far this time. Jimmy ran out on Liz when Jess was born, the very day he came into the world, no less. It was true enough that Jess had left Stars Hollow, twice, without saying goodbye, but he had also told Rory a few months back that he had changed and could be reliable now. He had certainly proved himself since she came here. Finding out about the baby hadn't phased him at all. He worked hard to make sure they had enough money, enough food. He took care of her, they looked out for each other, and Jess had never once shown signs of bolting. Rory's shoulder sagged, all the fight going out of her.

"Jess, I... I'm sorry," she told him, clearing the space between them as quickly as her feet would take her to him. "I'm so sorry, I just, I feel so out of control with the hormones and everything. I didn't mean it," she insisted, reaching a hand out to his face, but he shied away.

"Yeah, you did, and it's fine," he told her quietly, eyes elsewhere as he tried to mask the pain she had already seen. "You're right, Rory," he said after taking a deep breath and feeling ready to meet her gaze again. "I gave you every reason to think I was useless and unreliable, okay? I know that, but it's different now. I'm different," he reminded her definitely.

She nodded sadly in agreement, one lone tear streaking down her cheek.

"I know," she promised, "but I'm still sorry."

This time when she reached for him, he let her. She kissed his cheek, his lips, and then went into his arms to be held close and safe from all the worries of the world. Jess wasn't sure how he was holding himself up, never mind her too, but he couldn't let go, not for anything in the world.

"I'm sorry too," he told her, kissing her hair. "You wanna make your pro-con list then we'll do it, whatever you want."

Jess never thought he'd see the day when he hoped one of Rory's pro-con lists would come out with a result like 'go home to Stars Hollow' and yet right now it seemed like the best idea in the world. He wouldn't say a word, not now. They needed to sleep for a while, before he had to be at his next job and Rory had to go to hers. There was so much to think about, so much to deal with. For now, all he had to concentrate on was holding onto the woman he loved, making her feel better about the future they had to face. He wanted to promise her that everything would be okay, but that seemed like it would be the biggest lie he ever told somehow. Instead he told Rory that he loved her, that he always would and that would never change. At least that was the truth, and it didn't cost a thing.

To Be Continued...