"Sitcom Royal Rumble"
Rated T for mild language and violence
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney, Nickelodeon or TBS. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy!
Chapter 3: Nerds Attack!
Both Steve Urkel and Sheldon Cooper had their faceoff. Now who was gonna throw the first punch? The decision was clear.
After seconds of that tense faceoff, Sheldon slapped the taste off the nerd!
JBL: Oooh, what a slap to the kisser!
Jerry Lawler: I think the Statue of Liberty felt it from here!
A single slap was followed by many slaps coming from Sheldon.
But strangely, Steve Urkel started to slap back, therefore making this into a childish slap-fight against the two nerds.
Michael Cole: *disturbed* Wow, this is a bit strange.
JBL: Are you kidding me? I wanna see fists flying, not some toddler slapfight.
Jerry Lawler: Well, despite being nerds, not much of them have a lot of fighting experience.
Suddenly, Urkel had the upperhand in the nerdy slapfight. He had Sheldon mounted on the mat as Urkel followed his slaps with a ten salute head-pound.
One by one, he kept pounding Sheldon's head repeatedly like a basketball.
JBL: Look at this, this is turning into a total cat-fight now!
Michael Cole: Maybe, yet you can't blame for the new-found disgust they have for one another.
Jerry Lawler: Both Sheldon and Urkel are dying to win this, no matter what it takes!
After several seconds of headpoundings, Sheldon managed to counter Urkel's slaps by turning him over. This time, Urkel was being pinned to by the floor.
From there, Sheldon managed to reply with fist-shots to the face. As a scientist, he grew pretty tired of the slap-shots, and decided to hit away with his fist!
JBL: Now this is what a fight really looks like!
Jerry Lawler: Yeah, I must admit that the slap-fighting put me to sleep.
Michael Cole: I agree. Anyway, we have 10 seconds before the next entrant comes in! Who will it be!
After fighting each other off for now, both Urkel and Sheldon took a little breather. From there, they looked at the timer (which stood next to the entranceway), indicating that the third entrant was about to make his way in about...
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #3: Dez Wade (Austin & Ally)
As the buzzer sounded off, a ginger-haired teenager with a black shirt (which was covered by a green shirt) and green plaid pants made his entrance by running down the aisle and giving fans a high-five.
JBL: *rolling his eyes* Oh great. We have a geek...
Jerry Lawler: Maybe, but he's feeling determined to win this!
Michael Cole: Drawing in #3 is Dez Wade from Disney Channel's 'Austin & Ally'! I can't wait to see what he does!
As Dez entered the ring, he started going to work immediately by throwing dropkicks to the two nerds.
Then it was followed by separate hip tosses.
Jerry Lawler: Dez is cleaning house immediately!
JBL: I'm surprised! He can actually fight like a geek!
Michael Cole: So far, nothing is stopping Dez!
The momentum was now on Dez's side.
He then dodged a clothesline from Steve Urkel, only to grab the nerd and hit a Spinning Back Suplex.
JBL: He put Urkel in the suplex!
Michael Cole: Dez looking to prove everyone wrong in the Rumble!
After taking care of Urkel, Dez went to work on Sheldon, as he tried to deck Dez with a clothesline.
Just like his encounter with Urkel, Dez managed to counter the nerd's clothesline and hit him with a Russian Leg Sweep.
Jerry Lawler: A big Russian Leg Sweep!
Michael Cole: Urkel and Sheldon may need a gameplan to slow him down!
JBL: I'm really starting to like this kid! He's much whiter than Sheamus is!
Dez was feeding off the energy from the capacity crowd, who started chanting 'Dez' in YES-form. So far, he was the favorite.
Grabbing Sheldon's hair, he pointed to a 90 degree angle, which indicated that an elimination was about to take place.
JBL: Oh man, he's gonna eliminate one of the nerds! I love it!
Suddenly, Dez managed to whip Sheldon close to the ropes...
...
...only for Sheldon to counter, therefore sending Dez running over the top rope and onto the floor in an instant!
Dez's shocking elimination was greeted by a few boos by the way.
Jerry Lawler: Well, there goes Dez!
JBL: No kidding. That was a disappointment if I ever saw one.
Michael Cole: Dez is the first man eliminated in the Sitcom Royal Rumble!
1st Eliminated: Dez Wade; Eliminated by: Sheldon Cooper; Duration: 0:42
As he was looking down at an eliminated Dez, Sheldon took another bit of a breather, but suddenly...
...
...Steve Urkel surprised him out of nowhere and lifted up Sheldon's feet, therefore sending him over the top rope.
Luckily for Sheldon, he managed to hang on to the middle rope, which managed to prevent his elimination.
Jerry Lawler: Whoa! Sheldon was almost doomed there!
JBL: Crap, that was close.
Michael Cole: Sheldon, of course, very aware of sneak attacks just like the one we saw now.
JBL: Hopefully someone else can try to eliminate him. That and Urkel.
As Sheldon re-entered the ring from under the ropes, the countdown clock began winding down to the 4th entrant of the match.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #4: Martin Payne (Martin)
As the buzzer sounded for the 4th time, a black man with a flat-top and dressed in a white tanktop with black jeans began sprinting to the ring and yelling 'WHADDAP!' as he ran.
Jerry Lawler: Well, this Rumble's getting very interesting now!
JBL: Haha, I love this guy! He's crazier than a raccoon on juice!
Michael Cole: How will Martin Payne do in the 'Sitcom Royal Rumble'? We're willing to find out!
As Martin entered the ring, both Urkel and Sheldon decided to team up by ganging up after him.
JBL: *looking upset* Look at this! He's getting beat up by skinny nerds!
Michael Cole: Urkel and Sheldon not giving Martin a chance here.
After beating Martin down, Sheldon picked Martin up by his shoulders, which gave Urkel a free shot.
While Martin was trying to break free, Urkel was showing the loud-mouth his footwork that he displays in fights like this.
Jerry Lawler: Look at Urkel paying tribute to Ali there!
JBL: He may float like a butterfly, but I highly doubt that he stings like a bee.
Martin Payne: *to Urkel* Ah, hell naw! There ain't no way you hittin' me!
Before Urkel could even think about hitting him, Martin managed to kick the nerd away.
In addition, Martin lifted his left leg and hit Sheldon with a low blow from behind.
Jerry Lawler: Oh, there go Sheldon's crown jewels!
JBL: That's right, Martin! Show those nerds what you're made of!
Michael Cole: *to JBL* You're not very much nerd-friendly, are you?
JBL: Only when they're gone!
As Sheldon was left to hold his nuts in pain, Urkel was shoved to the turnbuckle.
While the nerd felt groggy, Martin rushed after him by hitting a Shining Wizard, and following it with a running bulldog!
JBL: Martin hits a bulldog there!
Jerry Lawler: Martin's trying to fight the whole world!
Michael Cole: Urkel and Sheldon haven't been catching a break since Dez entered the ring.
JBL: Yeah, and it's still haven't been the same since he left.
After taking care of Urkel, Martin focused his attention on Sheldon Cooper (who was still holding his balls in pain).
He grabbed the skinny nerd and held him upside down. With the blood getting to Sheldon's brain, Martin dropped him via Piledriver!
Jerry Lawler: Good god, what a piledriver!
Michael Cole: Martin's picking up both Urkel and Sheldon's bones every chance he gets!
JBL: It's all just a matter of time!
While Martin was busy taking care of Sheldon, the 10-second countdown clock played on the entrance way, which meant number 5 was about to make his way.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #5: George Costanza (Seinfeld)
As the horn sounded, a thick middle-aged man with glasses and a combover made his way down the aisle. Knowing that he was from New York City, he got a tremendous ovation for a hometown hero.
JBL: Oh, here he comes! One of New York City's finest!
Michael Cole: It's George Costanza from "Seinfeld"! Perhaps one of the funniest sitcom characters there ever was.
Jerry Lawler: CostanzaMania's running wild over New York City!
As George got inside the ring, he had trouble finding out who to fight.
Whether it was Martin, Urkel or Sheldon, George was a bit confused on who he wanted to target first.
George Costanza: *looking around* Oh man, who to fight, who to fight...
JBL: What are you doing there? Go for Urkel!
Jerry Lawler: I don't know. He may be thinking second thoughts about being in this!
George started staring at Martin, who was busy beating Sheldon down.
Before he could actually think about striking him, Urkel managed to get up and drag George to the left turnbuckle, treating him with turnbuckle kicks! One by one, Urkel was making Costanza's ribs tender than good old-fashioned barbecue.
Michael Cole: Urkel going all-out on Costanza.
JBL: Is George Costanza that plain stupid?
Jerry Lawler: Well, I do admit he's not that very bright when it comes to decisions!
While George was roughed up enough, Urkel whipped him to the other turnbuckle.
Suddenly, when he was rammed into the turnbuckle, George stumbled forward, hitting Steve Urkel with a spear! That thunderous impact brought a huge pop from the loyal NYC fans!
Michael Cole: *surprised* WHOA! What a spear!
Jerry Lawler: I admit, I didn't see that coming.
JBL: Who knew George had it in himself to do that?
As George got back up, he looked at his own hands in awe. Not to mention staring down at Urkel's broken down body. He was horrified, yet fascinated at what he pulled off.
George Costanza: I can't believe that. Did- did I actually do that?
JBL: *shouting to George* What are you waiting for, George! Eliminate him already!
Hearing JBL's voice shout to him, George picked up Urkel and sent him dragging to the top rope.
Using his strength, he managed to lift Urkel up the top rope. But Urkel managed to hang on to the middle rope, preventing elimination for now.
Meanwhile, Martin had Sheldon grounded at the upper right turnbuckle. He decided to lift Sheldon up so that he could climb the middle rope. Apparently, Martin had something high-risk in mind.
Michael Cole: Uh-oh, this is high-risk, ladies and gentleman!
Jerry Lawler: I'm certain this is a place that both men don't want to be now!
Martin then began tugging Sheldon's pants in hopes of getting a superplex. But Sheldon managed to hang on to the top rope in leverage.
As the nerd hung on, Sheldon began hitting away at Martin's ribs. After a couple of shots, Martin went down on the mat.
Jerry Lawler: Looks like that superplex failed.
JBL: Yeah, but what on that nerd's mind? You think he's gonna slip and fall on the floor?
Michael Cole: I really doubt that would happen.
Taking a deep breath, Sheldon managed to turn around. And yet, he managed to look behind his shoulder to see Martin getting up from that botch.
With yet another deep breath, Sheldon leaped and flipped his body back, hitting Martin with an unbelievable moonsault!
Jerry Lawler: Wha... no way!
JBL: I can't believe Sheldon pulled it off!
Michael Cole: Sheldon with an unbelievable moonsault from the top rope!
JBL: There was absolutely no way that nerd could do that to someone like Martin!
Jerry Lawler: *chuckling* Well, he's definitely eating your words as far as I'm concerned!
As George was still struggling trying to get Urkel out of the ring and Sheldon and Martin were laying down on the mat, the clock started over to 10. This meant that the 6th entrant of the match was about to enter anytime soon.
Michael Cole: We're about to find out who'll be number six!
JBL: Can't wait to see who it is!
Well, that was the first chapter everyone! Now that we got that out of the way, here are the stats!
Eliminated: Dez Wade
Still in the ring: George Costanza, Martin Payne, Sheldon Cooper and Steve Urkel
Entrants in the ring: 4
Entrants still left to go: 45
Who will be number 6, you ask? You'll just have to find out til next chapter! Until then, Happy Fall Season!