"Sitcom Royal Rumble"
Rated T for mild language and violence
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney, Nickelodeon or TBS. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy! By the way, this chapter title is very similar to the episode titles in Austin & Ally, so enjoy!
Chapter 5: Rockstars and Starlets
As the carnage continued in the ring, the 10-second Rumble clock ticked down to it's 11th entrant.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #11: Mike Seaver (Growing Pains)
With the horn sounding for the 11th time, a teenager with curly auburn hair, white coat, blue shirt and black jeans rushed his way down the aisle and down to the ring in break-neck speed. He managed to get a decent pop from the L.A. crowd as well.
JBL: All right, it's one of my favorites!
Michael Cole: We have Mike Seaver from the ABC sitcom "Growing Pains"!
Jerry Lawler: He looks very psyched, I can tell!
As soon as Mike got inside the ring, he searched inside the trash can full of weapons.
And as Sheldon was approaching Mike, the first-born son of the Seaver family pulled out an unknown weapon and walloped Sheldon right in the head. The camera soon got a shot of the weapon...
...
...
...which turned out to be a bible!?
JBL: Did... did he just hit Sheldon with a bible?!
Jerry Lawler: *chuckling* Like it or not, he did!
JBL: How good is that gonna do?
(FUN FACT: Kirk Cameron, the actor who plays Mike Seaver on the show, is actually a born-again Christian in real life.)
While Sheldon was trying to recover from that unexpected attack, Eric Forman tried to surprise him with a clothesline out of nowhere, but Mike saw this move and ducked down.
And as Eric turned around, Mike walloped him with the Good Book!
JBL: And now he's attacking Eric with the bible? What kind of a rumble is this?!
Michael Cole: Talk about a Bible-thumper!
Suddenly, one at a time, he began hitting every contestant with the bible. He all decked out Beck, Urkel, Bob and Slater all in one sitting.
And as all the contestants went down, Mike pulled out the bible cover...
...
...
...only to find out it was a brick disguised as a bible!
JBL: Well, I'll be a son of a gun!
Jerry Lawler: It's actually a brick!
Michael Cole: Nice creativity by Mr. Mike Seaver!
While Mike was celebrating his impact, the bible-disguised brick attack didn't have any effect on Bob Duncan, as he soon shook it off.
As Mike tossed the brick aside, he turned around, only to eat a spear from the bug exterminator!
Michael Cole: Oh my god!
Jerry Lawler: What a spear!
JBL: Ha, that nearly took his shoes off literally!
That impact managed to knock Mike out, making him unconscious.
And as Bob started talking down to him, both Beck Oliver and Eric Forman teamed up against him by surprising him with a Double Back Suplex on top of a chair that was sitting there!
Jerry Lawler: Ouch! That's gotta hurt for his back.
JBL: Must be his age. I could tell because of his balding head!
Suddenly, Bob was writhing in excruciation pain because how hard his back hit the chair.
And as soon as he was recovering, the people in LA all looked to the titantron, awaiting another entrant.
Michael Cole: We're about to have the 12th man in the Sitcom Royal Rumble!
JBL: Who's it gonna be?
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #12: Austin Moon (Austin & Ally)
When the 12th horn sounded, all of the fangirls shrieked in excitement as a blonde-haired rockstar with knee-ripped jeans made his way down the aisle. Apparently, he was considered one of the favorites to win the Rumble.
Jerry Lawler: Look at this, the fans are going nuts!
Michael Cole: Apparently, it's for this man, Austin Moon from Disney Channel's "Austin & Ally"!
JBL: I can't hardly hear a damn word I'm saying! These girls need to shut up!
While those cries of fangirls were ringing JBL's ears, Austin had entered the ring, but decided to go to top rope instead.
Facing an unconscious Sheldon, Austin Moon leaped up and crashed down onto the genius with a leg drop.
Michael Cole: And Austin drops the leg on Sheldon!
Jerry Lawler: Talk about making a splash.
JBL: *plugging his ears* I still can't hear a damn thing!
As he got up, he noticed A.C. Slater struggling to get up on his feet from the brick attack.
Seeing this as an opportunity, Austin stanced himself in front of the high schooler from Bayside. As he turned to Austin, the rockstar struck with a superkick that sent A.C. over the top rope and onto the floor, resulting in elimination.
Jerry Lawler: Uh-oh, so long, Slater!
Michael Cole: Consider A.C. Slater's night over and done for!
5th Eliminated: A.C. Slater; Eliminated by: Austin Moon; Duration: 2:21
As Slater started leaving the ring in disappointment, Austin continued his momentum by picking up Mike Seaver off the floor and lifting him upside down.
With a smirk on the rockstar face, he dropped Mike on the mat with a piledriver!
Jerry Lawler: Hey, a piledriver! One of my favorites!
JBL: Mike just got dropped like a rock there.
As Mike still laid unconscious, Steve Urkel was trying his best to wedgie Eric Forman over the top rope and onto the floor.
Sheldon on the other hand, took his focus off of Bob Duncan, and tried his best to help him out. However, before he could help his fellow nerd out, Austin Moon came from behind and surprised the nerd with a jumping neckbreaker.
JBL: Wow, Austin Moon out of nowhere! Loved the way he stuck it to that nerd!
Michael Cole: I didn't know you were an Austin Moon fan.
JBL: I may not love his music that much, Cole, but if he eliminated either Urkel or Sheldon, I'd be happy!
Urkel was still trying his best to eliminate Eric, who was still struggling not to get out.
But out of nowhere, Eric managed to low blow Urkel with his foot! This forced the fans to cringe in pain.
Jerry Lawler: *cringes* Oooh, I know someone who ain't having kids soon.
JBL: Oh come on, King. I can hardly tell if he has a groin with the pants he wears.
As Urkel hung onto his crotch tightly, the Rumble clock began ticking down to the next entrant of the match.
Michael Cole: We got another entrant coming out.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #13: Liv Rooney (Liv and Maddie)
As the horn sounded for the 13th time, a blonde-haired teenager with a white jacket and a skintight pink dress came out of the curtain to a bit of a standing ovation from the crowd. JBL somehow responded in shock.
JBL: You gotta be kidding me. A woman's in this?
Jerry Lawler: That's not just any woman, JBL. That's Liv Rooney from "Liv and Maddie".
Michael Cole: And not to mention the show called "Sing It Loooooooooud!"
As Liv finally entered the ring, she was surprised by Bob Duncan, who nailed her in the face.
The impact sent Liv towards the ropes, but luckily for her, she managed to regain her balance. Out of nowhere, she rebounded and nailed Bob Duncan in the face with a clothesline, Dean Ambrose-style!
Jerry Lawler: Whoa, what an impact on that clothesline.
JBL: Huh, that makes my Clothesline From Hell look like a choirboy!
While Liv got up, Beck Oliver surprised her out of nowhere and caught in a German Suplex.
But while she was thrown, she managed to land on her feet like a frog. And as Beck turned around, Liv countered with a thunderous Codebreaker!
Michael Cole: What a Codebreaker!
Jerry Lawler: Hard to believe she's been taking lessons from Chris Jericho.
JBL: Oh come on, she clearly stole that move.
As Beck held his jaw in pain, Austin's momentum had clearly stopped as Urkel and Sheldon began double teaming on him.
After roughing him up with shots to the back, Urkel decided to go up on the top rope while Sheldon started picking the rockstar up on his shoulders.
Jerry Lawler: Oh man, I remember this move!
JBL: Huh, never knew the nerd (Sheldon) had such strength!
Sheldon was huffing and puffing all over, trying his best to keep Austin on his shoulders.
With picture perfect accuracy, Urkel leaped up in the air and hit Austin Moon with a flying clothesline, knocking him over like a flapjack.
Michael Cole: They nail the Doomsday Device!
Jerry Lawler: Very reminiscent of LOD!
JBL: Like I said, they stole that move.
As Austin was laid out on the floor, both Urkel and Sheldon gave each other a high five in total respect.
Suddenly, Liv took his focus off of Mike Seaver (who she was stomping a mudhole on) and onto Urkel and Sheldon. While they were distracted, Liv came out of nowhere and hit both nerds with a running double dropkick!
Michael Cole: Liv with a dropkick!
JBL: I like it! The nerds are dropping like flies!
Jerry Lawler: It seems like Liv's learning a lot from Daniel Bryan as well!
With Urkel and Sheldon nailed to the ground, the timer was displayed on the titantron, therefore revealing another entrant.
JBL: Here comes the next entrant!
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #14: Pops Williams (The Wayans Bros.)
After the horn sounded, an old middle aged black man with a white collared shirt, a red bowtie and an apron across his jeans came out and bolted through the aisle while high-fiving the kids sitting at ringside.
Jerry Lawler: Well, here comes an unlikely contestant!
JBL: We've got Pops from "The Wayans Bros."!
Michael Cole: Looks like he's happy to be here!
As Pops got into the ring, he saw Eric and Bob tieing up, hoping to push one another way.
While they weren't looking, Pops gave each of them forearm shots to the back. Therefore, both Eric and Bob went down on their knees.
Jerry Lawler: Look at Pops go right at them!
JBL: Looks like the 50-year old still has some fight left in him!
Michael Cole: Can he hold on for so long?
While both Eric and Bob were still stunned, Pops decided to take his time showing off for the crowd.
As the fans were chanting 'Pops', he decided to do his signature pose in front of his fans.
Pops Williams: *to the crowd* Hey everyone! Come to New York and taste my world famous Chili! *does pelvic thrusts* BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Somehow, Mike Seaver was disgusted of the fact that Pops was humping the air.
So just like a ninja, Mike grabbed Pops by the apron and flung him over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating him to a mixed reaction.
Jerry Lawler: Well, so long, Pops!
Michael Cole: Wow, that was short.
JBL: Yeah, his air humping makes me sick.
6th Eliminated: Pops Williams; Eliminated by: Mike Seaver; Duration: 0:13
Pops Williams soon got up on his feet and stared at Mike Seaver in total shock. He couldn't believe that someone like him could be out of the match that early.
Because of this, Pops tried his best to get his hands on Mike by whipping out his signature belt.
Pops Williams: Tell me you didn't eliminate me just now! That does it, I'm gettin' my belt...!
Unfortunately for Pops, all of the referees started holding him back. Pops tried to fight them one by one, but the force of those referees were too much for him. And this forced Pops to walk backstage in disappointment.
Jerry Lawler: Something tells me Pops is gonna remember this.
JBL: Can you blame him?
Meanwhile, as Mike waved goodbye to Pops, he turned around...
...
...
...only for him to eat a Zig Zag (Dolph Ziggler's move) by Austin Moon!
Jerry Lawler: Heh, so much for celebrating!
Michael Cole: Austin Moon with a Zig Zag out of nowhere.
JBL: Seriously, what's with all of the move-stealing today?!
As Mike was laid out unconscious, a scuffle between Steve Urkel, Beck Oliver, Sheldon Cooper, Bob Duncan and Eric Forman broke out in the center of the ring. Not too long ago, Austin joined in the fight.
Michael Cole: Looks like it's getting rowdy here!
JBL: Everyone's in it to win it!
Suddenly, Liv Rooney was the only contestant not involved in the scuffle. However, an idea came to her that would really make a huge splash in the Rumble.
While six contestants were brawling it out close to one another, the starlet went up on top rope, staring them down like a bird of prey.
Jerry Lawler: Oh man, what does Liv have in plan here?
Michael Cole: This is not gonna be good for the contestants!
As the rest of them all looked up to Liv, the star of "Sing It Loud" took a huge leap and crashed down on top of them, Dean Ambrose-style!
The crowd all reacted in shock and awe, breaking out a 'This Is Awesome' chant!
Jerry Lawler: What a dogpile!
JBL: This place is turning into total anarchy!
Michael Cole: Liv Rooney may be a new Rumble favorite because of that move there!
The move took a lot out of the contestants as they were rolling around in pain.
Especially Eric, who managed to drag himself to the lower rope in hopes of recovering. From there, he looked at the Rumble clock, ticking to the 10-second mark. Whoever was number 15, Eric could sure use himself some help now.
Jerry Lawler: Number 15's gonna join us soon! Who's it gonna be?
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #15: Red Forman (That 70s Show)
When the horn sounded for the 15th time, Eric had a smile on his face as a middle-aged man with nearly-balding auburn red hair and a long-sleeved plaid t-shirt came walking down the aisle.
Apparently, someone must've heard Eric's prayer and answered successfully.
Jerry Lawler: Looks like help's on the way for Eric!
Michael Cole: Here comes Eric's father, Red Forman from "That 70s Show"!
JBL: Oh, he's mad as he could be! Can't wait!
To be continued...
Now that Chapter 5 is over and done with, let's see what we have so far:
Eliminated: Dez Wade, Martin Payne, Leroy T. Brown, George Costanza, A.C. Slater and Pops Williams
Still in the ring: Austin Moon, Beck Oliver, Bob Duncan, Eric Forman, Liv Rooney, Mike Seaver, Red Forman, Sheldon Cooper and Steve Urkel
Entrants in the ring: 9
Entrants still left to go: 35
Will Red help out Eric in his quest? Will we see more carnage unfold. And will Liv and Austin keep stealing moves from WWE Superstars? Find out in the next chapter! Until then, feedbacks are welcome!