"Sitcom Royal Rumble"
Rated T for mild language and violence
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney, Nickelodeon or TBS. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy!
Chapter 6: Everybody Hates Julius (Not Really)
As soon as Red Forman got inside the ring, he started punching everyone he saw from Beck to Sheldon and to Mike at the same time!
Jerry Lawler: Wow, Red's going all out!
JBL: You know for an old guy, he still knows how to put up a fight!
After knocking the trio down, he heard his son cry for help as Eric Forman was getting a wedgie courtesy of Bob Duncan. Or pretty much the fact that Bob was trying to get Eric out of the Rumble to begin with.
He was totally ashamed by the way Eric screamed like a girl.
Eric Forman: *crying in pain* Daddy, help meeeeee!
Red Forman: *rolling his eyes* Oh, for pete's sake.
With a sigh, Red Forman took in a three-point stance.
By then, he took off while raising his foot backwards...
...
...
...and swinging it right to Bob's butt, getting his foot straight up his ass! Everyone in the arena cringed in horror seeing this.
Michael Cole: *cringes* Oh maaaan!
Jerry Lawler: I can't believe what he saw!
JBL: I think Red just shoved his foot up Bob's womb! And he doesn't even have one!
The pain to his butt was so excruciating that Bob started running all through four corners of the ring. Heck, even he started scooching on his butt like a dog.
That gave Austin Moon and Liv Rooney an opportunity to grab the back of Bob's shirt, throwing him over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating him instantly!
JBL: Well, there goes the exterminator!
Jerry Lawler: His chances of winning of the Rumble are totally squashed now!
7th Eliminated: Bob Duncan; Eliminated by: Austin Moon & Liv Rooney; Duration: 8:32
While Bob left back up the aisle painfully, the action continued as Red Forman managed to sweep Mike Seaver off his feet. Literally.
He managed to trip his feet in order to launch him as a catapult. But when Red suddenly launched Mike Seaver to the upper right turnbuckle, he crash landed right onto both Steve Urkel and Sheldon Cooper, who were fighting against one another (Sheldon was giving Urkel a 10-punch salute). What was more painful was that Mike's face landed right on the nerd's butt!
Jerry Lawler: Oh man! Talk about getting someone's head up their ass!
Michael Cole: I'm certain that's gonna be a long time for Mike to forget that image.
As Mike was laid out on the mat unconscious, the 10 second clock lit up on the titantron, awaiting the 16th entrant of the match.
JBL: Oh, I cannot wait for sweet number 16! Who's it gonna be?
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #16: Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)
Suddenly, as the 16th horn sounded, a metrosexual man with a casual business suit and spiky blonde hair made his way through the curtain. He was suddenly given a mixed reaction all of a sudden. Apparently, all of the cheers came from women and the boss all came from men.
JBL: All right, I like this guy! He's a playboy!
Michael Cole: We got Barney Stinson from CBS's hit sitcom, "How I Met Your Mother".
Jerry Lawler: Yeah, so far, he's not being met by a good reaction, that's for sure. Except if you count the ladies!
But before he could approach the ring, Barney grabbed a microphone sitting at ringside.
And as he got on the ring apron, he began to speak into the mic.
Barney Stinson: Hello, skags!
However, Barney's little skags comment forced a lot of boos for this man.
Barney Stinson: I can see why all the ladies around here love me in New York. They deserve someone this hot and sexy like me. Not those snot-nosed, fart-inducing, nose-picking New York sweathogs they should be around with.
Suddenly, part of the male demographic broke out in boos so loud, they were nearly about to blow up the roof.
And as he got into the ring, Barney met up with Liv Rooney, who wasn't impressed by his comments whatsoever. But that didn't effect Barney as he gave her a smile.
Barney Stinson: *to Liv* Hey, sugar pumpkin. You look delicious and feisty. Why don't we blow this Rumble and blow something else. That way, you can make me better in stereo.
Liv Rooney: *to Barney* Oh, go blow this!
And just like that, Liv ended up kicking Barney painfully in the balls! That of course, got a tremendous ovation.
Jerry Lawler: *chuckling* AH! Oh my god!
JBL: Oh, man! Barney is never gonna be the same again!
Michael Cole: I didn't think so anyway!
While Barney held onto his balls for dear life, Liv yanked his blonde locks tightly.
In just an instant, Liv ended up tossing Barney Stinson over the top rope and onto floor, therefore ending his time in the Rumble!
Jerry Lawler: Well... so long, Barney!
JBL: He didn't stand a single chance.
8th Eliminated: Barney Stinson; Eliminated by: Liv Rooney; Duration: 0:27
Meanwhile, as Barney Stinson was dragging his entire body up the aisle, Liv Rooney went to go help Austin Moon eliminate Sheldon Cooper.
However, Barney's long rant on the microphone wasted a good minute, which was long enough for number 17 to come out due to the 10-second countdown clock.
Michael Cole: Number 17's coming up! Who will it be?
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #17: Julius Rock (Everybody Hates Chris)
As the horn sounded off for the 17th time, a man wearing what seemed to be a blue plumber outfit came down the aisle in full speed, while being treated to an acceptable response from the crowd.
JBL: Uh-oh, we got the big guns!
Jerry Lawler: Oh, this guy's gonna run through everybody!
Michael Cole: We got Julius Rock from "Everybody Hates Chris" at number 17!
JBL: Everyone take notice!
Everyone was in fact, taking notice. Mostly Eric and Red Forman, who were busy huddling on what to do against this hulking giant.
After a last-second gameplan, Red forced Eric to rush against Julius, whom he connected with a big boot to the face!
Jerry Lawler: Ow! So much for Eric!
JBL: *chuckling* He's gonna need to replace some teeth there!
Watching his son go down, Red managed to confront the big man with his hands forming into fists.
Red Forman: *to Julius* Who do you think you are, dumbass? That's my son you just hurt! You're gonna put him back up or so help me, my foot shoots straight up your ass so bad, you wish you were back in Bed-Stuy!
JBL: *chuckling* Uh-oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you!
Julius wasn't pleased with the comments that Red made out to him.
In response, Julius lifted Red up by his upper body, and slammed him with a spinebuster!
Jerry Lawler: Uh-oh, looks like Red Forman paid for it, dearly!
Michael Cole: It wasn't a smart move for sure.
As Red was wrenching his back in pain, both Beck Oliver and Mike Seaver were busy double teaming on Sheldon Cooper.
After Beck connected on Sheldon with a thunderous body slam, Mike decided to go to top rope. As Beck spreaded both Sheldon's legs side to side, the entire LA crowd all stood up in anticipation. Mike looked around the crowd, smirking as he was about to channel his inner Dudley.
JBL: Uh-oh, this is not gonna be good for Sheldon!
Jerry Lawler: His atoms are about to get smashed right here!
Beck Oliver: *to Mike* WHAZZZZZZZZZUP!
But before Mike could 'Whazzup' back, Liv Rooney whipped Urkel to the ropes, which forced Mike to fall down on his nads, failing the attempt.
At the same time, Austin Moon came running in and dropkicked Mike off the top rope, sending him down to the floor in elimination.
Jerry Lawler: Looks like Mike's prayers weren't answered here tonight!
JBL: Nope! Mike Seaver's going home!
9th Eliminated: Mike Seaver; Eliminated by: Austin Moon; Duration: 6:44
While Mike Seaver left the ring disappointed, Austin Moon managed to dig out a kendo stick that was hiding under the ring apron.
At the same time however, Liv pushed Beck out of the way so that she would spread Sheldon's legs in a wishbone position. And without any warning whatsoever...
...
...
...Austin slammed the kendo stick around Sheldon's 'atoms', making him wail in pain!
Michael Cole: *cringing* OH MAN!
JBL: Goodness! Sheldon's gonna feel that in the morning!
Jerry Lawler: *also cringing* Heck, he may even feel that for a year!
While Sheldon was busy crying for his 'meemaw' in pain, the countdown clock lit up. Which meant it was time for the 18th entrant to appear.
Michael Cole: Here comes number 18! Who's it gonna be?
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #18: Zack Morris (Saved By The Bell)
As the horn sounded, a teenager with a Bayside High basketball uniform and with slicked back blonde hair made his way down the aisle.
Suddenly, a drove of teenage fangirls all screamed loudly for this guy, who was also considered as another favorite to win the Sitcom Royal Rumble.
JBL: *rolling his eyes* Oh no, that's what we need. Another high schooler...
Jerry Lawler: *to JBL* That's not just any high-schooler, that's Zack Morris from "Saved By The Bell".
Michael Cole: We had A.C. Slater early on today. Let's see what Zack can do here.
But before he could enter the ring, he noticed the camera was shooting right at him.
So he took the time to focus on his head-shot and go on his fourth wall-breaking rants.
Zack Morris: *to the camera* So here I am in the Sitcom Royal Rumble, where besides me, I have to deal with 49 guys in order to win over a million dollars. I tell ya, if I manage to win, I'm gonna take Kelly out on the most expensive date that I can ever dream of. Dinner, dancing and a nice show where the music's playing and...
However, he was cut off by the referees, who told him to get in the ring already. Wasting his good 30 seconds, Zack Morris decided to close things out.
Zack Morris: Yeah, I gotta close this out. I wasted too much time as it was. Anyway, wish me luck!
And then, Zack finally ditched the camera and got inside the ring, where he saw Julius Rock slamming Steve Urkel with a high-raising spinebuster.
Trying to sneak around like a ninja, Zack made a leap towards Julius, who caught him in midair and slammed him with another spinebuster!
Jerry Lawler: Oh, goodness!
JBL: Well, talk about a first impression! Zack Morris made a lousy one at best!
But Julius wasn't finished with Zack just yet.
After slamming the youngster with the spinebuster, he managed to hold on to his legs. With Zack's legs under his arms, Julius decided to spin the youngster around with the Cesaro Swing!
Jerry Lawler: Uh-oh, someone's going for a ride!
JBL: *chuckling* Yeah, Zack Morris deserves it.
Michael Cole: Zack is definitely not gonna feel good here!
Meanwhile, as he was spinning Zack, he decided to knock the rest of the contestants down with the swing.
Using Zack as a weapon, he managed to knock down Austin Moon, Liv Rooney, Eric Forman, Red Forman, Beck Oliver, Steve Urkel and Sheldon Cooper in one full setting! Julius was spinning Zack around in full 2160 degrees, right before swinging him away. Suddenly, the crowd was in full effect, thanks to Julius's act of strength!
Michael Cole: Julius just knocked out the rest of the roster in the ring!
JBL: This guy's unstoppable!
Jerry Lawler: I don't know if anyone's gonna stop him though. He's on a roll!
Feeding off the "Julius" chants from this NY crowd, Julius looked to the stage to see the Rumble clock ticking down to its next entrant. Whoever was next would be ready for Julius to fight next.
JBL: Here comes number 19 now!
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #19. Bull Shannon (Night Court)
Then suddenly, the Night Court theme song played out across Madison Square Garden.
And coming through the curtain was bailiff and New York's own Bull Shannon, in which he got a huge hometown pop. Feeling appreciated by this capacity crowd, Bull and Julius were having one total face-off far away from each other.
JBL: Oh yeah, here's another one of my favorites!
Michael Cole: From "Night Court", here comes Bull Shannon!
Jerry Lawler: And check this faceoff right here between him and Julius! I can't wait to hold on to my seat for this one!
To be continued...
Well, now that we got Chapter 6 out of the way, let's see what we have!
Eliminated: Dez Wade, Martin Payne, Leroy T. Brown, George Costanza, A.C. Slater, Pops Williams, Bob Duncan, Barney Stinson and Mike Seaver
Still in the ring: Austin Moon, Beck Oliver, Bull Shannon, Eric Forman, Julius Rock, Liv Rooney, Red Forman, Sheldon Cooper, Steve Urkel and Zack Morris
Entrants in the ring: 10 (soon to be)
Entrants still left to go: 31 (soon to be)
Will we see the face-off/fight between Julius and Bull?
Will Sheldon and Urkel ever get the chance to fight back after lasting so long in the ring?
Will the alliance between Liv and Austin keep going on?
The next chapter will be revealed soon! Until then, feedbacks are welcome!