"Sitcom Royal Rumble"
Rated T for mild language and violence
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney, Nickelodeon or TBS. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy!
Chapter 7: A Ty-riffic Rumble
The crowd was on fire. Mostly it was because of the staredown between Bull Shannon and Julius.
JBL: You could feel the tension with a knife, here!
Michael Cole: Two of the biggest men in this matchup so far!
Jerry Lawler: One's looking to fall and other to rise!
As soon as Bull got into the ring, the staredown turned into an intense faceoff.
The crowd all chanted "This Is Awesome" as a result of Bull and Julius's head-to-head collision. One of them was pressuring the other to pull off the first punch. The crowd was so anxious, that even some audience members started biting their nails.
JBL: Who's gonna throw that first punch here?
To answer JBL's question...
...
...
...Bull managed to land the first punch onto Julius, but then Julius shot back to bull, trapping him in the corner with punch shots to the gut.
But it didn't last too long as Bull countered by sending Julius to the turnbuckles and landing punch shots of his own.
Jerry Lawler: Look at this, it's like total carnage!
JBL: *chuckling* I love it! Two giants going at it is worth it for me!
Meanwhile, as Julius and Bull were still fighting, Sheldon and Urkel decided to team up again by taking down Liv Rooney with a double spinebuster.
And when Liv was down, both the nerds held on both to her legs. Sheldon with the left one and Urkel with the right one. Apparently, they had something else in mind.
Michael Cole: *gulping* Oh no, please tell me this isn't gonna happen...
Jerry Lawler: I'm gonna feel sorry for Liv Rooney here!
Without any warning, both Steve and Sheldon performed a cringing wishbone on Liv, which forced to hold her groin in total pain.
Jerry Lawler: Oh man! That was right in the baby region!
Michael Cole: That's not gonna feel good for her!
Liv did manage to get up from the pain.
But suddenly, her head bumped straight to Eric Forman's hip. Noticing her like this, Eric grabbed her neck and planted a thunderous DDT, forcing Liv's head into the unforgiving mat!
Michael Cole: DDT! Eric Forman nails it!
JBL: I'm amazed that a skinny toothpick like him is even putting up a fight.
And as Liv laid down the mat unconscious, Austin Moon was busy trying to get Zack Morris over the top rope while Bull and Julius was still continuing their brawl. However, with Bull's slow walk to the ring combined with a time-inducing face-off, forced the countdown clock to light up on the titantron.
Apparently, another entrant was about to show up.
Jerry Lawler: Here comes number 20? Who will it be!
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #20: Tyler James (Dog With A Blog)
With the horn sounding for the 20th time, a teenager with a skin-green shirt, blue denim jeans, and white boots made his way down the aisle, but not without giving a high-five to the ladies for good measure.
JBL: Hey, wait a minute. Since when did Beck Oliver had a brother.
Michael Cole: JBL, that's not Beck's brother. If you've been watching Dog With A Blog on Disney Channel, that's actually Tyler James.
Jerry Lawler: He's psyched to be here, that's for sure.
As Tyler finally entered the ring, he was approached by one man who he thought he'd never meet up for the first time:
Beck Oliver.
With a snarl on his face, Beck started talking trash to Tyler.
Beck Oliver: Hey, you can't steal my look, you ripoff.
Tyler James: Oh please, that haircut is soooo 2010!
Being offended by Tyler's words, Beck struck him right in the face.
But that only pissed off Tyler much more as he tackled Beck to the growing, resulting in an MMA-like brawl! The fangirls went absolutely bonkers seeing two identical hunks battle it out.
Michael Cole: Uh-oh, here we go!
JBL: This is definitely blowing up here!
Jerry Lawler: And I think the fans are going nuts!
The brawl between Tyler and Beck managed to continue outside the ring. So far, Beck had the upper hand for a good second or two, before Tyler struck back with punches of his own. It was like Tito Ortiz vs. Ken Shamrock or perhaps Chuck Liddell vs. Rampage Jackson.
But it didn't last long as Beck pushed Tyler to the steel steps, bringing in 'ooh's from the crowd.
Jerry Lawler: Yeouch! What an impact!
JBL: Apparently, Beck Oliver is the superior pretty boy in this rumble so far!
Michael Cole: Um, don't forget Zack Morris and Austin Moon as well.
JBL: *chuckles* Sometimes, I'd wish I forget them...
After Tyler was knocked out at the ring post, Beck Oliver managed to get back into the ring...
...
...
...but only for him to eat a Codebreaker by Steve Urkel!
Michael Cole: Urkel nails a Codebreaker!
Jerry Lawler: I think he broke more than Beck's code here!
The impact forced Beck Oliver to take a step back to the ropes.
But it was huge mistake for Beck as Tyler James soon recovered from the steel steps shot. Leaping on top of the apron, Tyler managed to wrap Beck's neck in a head scissors, and used his leg weight to take Beck over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating him!
Jerry Lawler: Well, looks like Beck's not gonna be 'victorious' here! He's going home!
JBL: I can't believe he was eliminated by a Beck ripoff out of all people.
10th Eliminated: Beck Oliver; Eliminated by: Tyler James; Duration: 11:40
As Tyler hopped back into the ring, he saw Austin Moon trying to superplex Zack Morris.
So Tyler decided to capitalize by grabbing Austin's legs and slamming him with a powerbomb/superplex combination, that brought both blondes down!
Michael Cole: Dear god, what a powerbomb!
Jerry Lawler: Tyler is on a roll here in the Rumble.
JBL: I gotta admit, the kid's got a lot of spunk! I'll give him that!
As both Zack and Austin wrenched in pain from that impact, the rest of New Your City all turned to the titantron, awaiting the 21st entrant of the match!
Jerry Lawler: Okay, here comes number 21! Who's it gonna be?
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #21: Carl McMillan (Mike & Molly)
With the horn sounding for the 21st time, a skinny black man with a Chicago Police Department uniform made his way down the aisle. And he wasn't alone as well. He actually had his girlfriend Victoria Flynn with him.
Jerry Lawler: Oh, here's another interesting entry into the Rumble!
Michael Cole: We got Officer Carl McMillan from CBS's "Mike & Molly" entering the Rumble!
JBL: He's looking pumped up and ready to go.
Victoria Flynn: *to Carl* Go get 'em, Carl! Show them who's boss!
With a kiss from his girlfriend (who was now standing at ringside), Carl finally stepped inside the ring, looking to find out who he wanted to fight next.
Luckily, he saw Red Forman trying to pull in Austin Moon with a DDT. Seeing this, Carl managed to run to the ropes, leap on the middle rope and springboard back to Red, hitting him with a Beautiful Disaster kick!
Michael Cole: Whoa! What a disaster kick!
JBL: Wow, I never knew that Carl was such a high-flyer!
Carl had no time to celebrate though. He was soon approached by Eric Forman, who tried to superkick Carl's head off.
Luckily, the officer managed to grab his foot in time, and spin Eric around. While the teenager was disoriented though, Carl managed to nail him with a Zig Zag!
Michael Cole: Zig Zag from Carl McMillan!
Jerry Lawler: Carl's on a role here!
JBL: Yeah, but for how long?
Meanwhile, the battle between Julius Rock and Bull Shannon was intensifying to its core.
After hours of brawling and biting one another, Julius had the upper hand on Bull Shannon, especially when he dropped the bailiff to the mat with a powerslam!
Michael Cole: What a powerslam!
Jerry Lawler: That's definitely enough to close the case on Bull!
With Bull being knocked out, Julius managed to lift him in a backbreaker position and approached the ropes, hoping to eliminate him.
But out of nowhere, Red managed to wake his son Eric up from the mat and out of nowhere, they dropkicked Julius in the back of the head. Of course, that forced him to tumble over the top rope alongside Bull, and was instantly eliminated. All except for Bull, who miraculously remained on the apron.
JBL: WHOA! I didn't see that coming!
Michael Cole: Julius is gone and out of the Rumble match!
Jerry Lawler: Yeah, Julius can't believe it either!
11th Eliminated: Julius Rock; Eliminated by: Eric Forman & Red Forman; Duration: 4:39
Julius was in shock that he was eliminated early in the match. He tried to get back in, but couldn't because he was forced by the officials to leave.
In the ring, both Eric and Red started to celebrate in the ring.
JBL: I gotta admit, that's an accomplishment by a father and son!
Michael Cole: Both Red and Eric showing incredible team-work!
But all of a sudden, while Eric wasn't looking, Red snuck behind her son and threw him over the top rope and onto the floor! Leaving fans and commentators shocked.
Michael Cole: Oh my- OH MY GOD!
Jerry Lawler: WHAT?!
JBL: I can't believe it, either!
Michael Cole: Eric Forman has just been eliminated by his father!
12th Eliminated: Eric Forman; Eliminated by: Red Forman; Duration: 15:47
Some of the crowd's reactions were mostly mixed. Some were crying foul and some of them were cheering, because they were die-hard Red Forman fans.
Suddenly, Eric was shocked himself to see that his own father would do something like this.
Eric Forman: *to Red* Dad, why?!
Red Forman: *to Eric* Sorry, dumbass. I want that million dollars to myself!
Stunned, Eric managed to leave ringside without any explanation. While he was doing that, the countdown clock lit up on the titantron, which meant that everyone would be treated to the 22nd entrant of the match.
JBL: While Eric's crying like a baby, we'll see who number 22 is!
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #22: Gilligan (Gilligan's Island)
With the buzzer sounding for perhaps the 22nd time, a skinny stranger with his similar white Kangol hat, red sweater and blue jeans ran from the curtain. Suddenly, a huge pop around New York City occurred for this man, making him feel appreciated to be back on land.
Jerry Lawler: Oh man, I can't believe I'm seeing this!
Michael Cole: From "Gilligan's Island", here comes Gilligan himself! Can you believe this.
JBL: *nodding* I can. It was about damn time he got off that island.
Gilligan had finally stepped inside a wrestling ring for the first time.
But as soon as he was in the ring, he was met face-to-face with Bull Shannon. The bald bailiff was towering over the skinny Gilligan like he was staring into a plate of delicious nachos. With an angry sneer, he spoke down to Gilligan.
Bull Shannon: *with a sneer* Boo.
Gilligan: AAAAAAAGH! GIANT!
Being scared out of his mind, Gilligan backed away.
He was too scared that he went over the top rope, landed on the floor and started running away like a little frightened coward.
JBL: Well, that was a waste of time.
Jerry Lawler: Can you blame him? He was so frightened by that guy.
Michael Cole: So frankly, Gilligan eliminates himself from the Rumble.
13th Eliminated: Gilligan; Eliminated by: Himself; Duration: 0:20
After Gilligan's sudden walk-out, Sheldon Cooper and Steve Urkel tried to get Tyler James with a surprise back suplex.
But luckily for them, Tyler managed to miraculously counter by backflipping behind them. And then, Tyler managed to deliver a double dropkick to both the nerds!
Michael Cole: What a counter by Tyler James!
Jerry Lawler: He's really impressing me so far!
JBL: You know for two nerds, they've really lasted that long. I'm impressed.
However, Steve and Sheldon ended up stumbling into Austin and Liv, which resulted in a four-man (or woman) brawl.
And not too long ago, both Carl, Red and Bull joined in the fight as well, now ending in a seven-man melee. However, Zack was left out of the fight, because he didn't want to harm one single strand on his hair.
Jerry Lawler: Look at this, it's bedlam!
JBL: This is insane!
Michael Cole: I don't know about you, but look at Tyler James go up the top rope!
Seeing this brawl, Tyler managed to go to the top rope.
Carefully and patiently, he turned around, hoping the rest of the contestants would focus on him. When they did, Tyler leaped through the air, crashing on everyone with a high-risk moonsault! Suddenly, the entire NY crowd went crazy!
Michael Cole: Moonsault! Moonsault!
Jerry Lawler: What a leap by Tyler James off the top rope!
JBL: This kid's gone insane. He's loopy, I tell ya!
So far, everyone was down and out from Tyler's insane moonsault. As the rest of the contestants were busy trying to recover, the Rumble clock lit up again, bringing in another entrant.
Whoever would be out next would be in the fight of their life.
To be continued...
Finally, now that chapter 7 is done for and whatnot. Let's check out the stats.
Eliminated: Dez Wade, Martin Payne, Leroy T. Brown, George Costanza, A.C. Slater, Pops Williams, Bob Duncan, Barney Stinson, Mike Seaver, Beck Oliver, Julius Rock, Eric Forman and Gilligan
Still in the ring: Austin Moon, Bull Shannon, Carl McMillan, Liv Rooney, Red Forman, Sheldon Cooper, Steve Urkel, Tyler James and Zack Morris
Entrants in the ring: 9 (soon to be 10)
Entrants still left to go: 28 (soon to be 27)
Will Tyler perform more insane stunts that can risk his life?
Will Sheldon and Urkel keep fighting on to the end?
Who will try to get rid of Bull Shannon, the biggest man in the matchup so far?
And who will number 23 be?
All answers will be revealed in the next chapter! Until then, Happy Happy Joy Joy!