"Sitcom Royal Rumble"
Rated T for mild language and violence
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney, Nickelodeon or TBS. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy!
Chapter 8: The Mighty Has Fallen
As everyone was knocked out by Tyler's moonsault, the 10-second clock began running down to it's next entrant.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #23: Howard Wolowitz (The Big Bang Theory)
With the buzzer sounding for a 23rd time, a skinny nerd with a red Olympic-style wrestling outfit and a Beatle haircut came running down the aisle. He wasn't alone though, as he brought some gym bag with him.
JBL: *groaning* Oh no, not this guy!
Jerry Lawler: Oh, I'm afraid so!
Michael Cole: Here comes Howard Wolowitz from "The Big Bang Theory"!
JBL: This is gonna be a disaster, I can tell. We already had enough nerds as it is!
As soon as he got to the ring, he stopped for a minute.
Only to put his gym bag down, and pull something out, which seemed to be wrestling-type headgear.
Jerry Lawler: *chuckling* I think Howard's trying to be fully equipped here!
JBL: This is just ridiculous! He should quit trying to prepare, and get in the ring already!
Meanwhile, as Howard was still preparing himself, Zack Morris saw Austin Moon recovering on the ropes.
Seeing this opportunity, the slicked-back blonde tried to set Austin up for a clothesline, but the rockstar managed to duck. Which sent Zack Morris flying over the top rope, and racking right into his nuts, which sent fans to cringing down their spines!
Michael Cole: Oh man!
JBL: Oh, that's not gonna feel good!
Jerry Lawler: You're telling me! I don't think Zack won't be having kids any time soon!
While Zack started crying like a baby in pain, Liv Rooney approached Austin Moon as they got both their hands on the ropes. With the Bayside High student's life flashed before his eyes, Liv and Austin both decided to take Zack on a little ride.
So they decided to shake the ropes, making Zach jump up and down painfully! It was nearly like riding a horse with bruised nads on good measure.
Jerry Lawler: Oh man, that's not a place that Zack Morris wants to be, let me tell ya!
Michael Cole: I'm gonna feel bad for him in the future.
With one final rope ride, Zack was bounced back into the ring, trying not to cry again.
Meanwhile, still outside, Howard Wolowitz was busy putting on his elbow pads and knee pads slowly at a time. However, one of the impatient referees (which was Charles Robinson) ordered Wolowitz to get in the ring.
Charles Robinson: *to Wolowitz* Okay, you've had enough! Get it in the ring!
Howard Wolowitz: *shouting to Charles* Don't rush me, I need to put on some baby-oil here!
JBL: I don't know about you, but I'm just a minute away from pushing that guy in the ring.
Jerry Lawler: I'd like to see that, except you don't count as a sitcom character!
As Howard was still trying to apply baby oil around his arms, Zack Morris was busy trying to recover from that double team attempt by Austin and Liv.
Suddenly, Red Forman saw Zach bend over on the ropes. With a smirk on his face, Red lifted his foot and slammed Zack right on the ass, therefore making him leap over the top rope and onto the floor!
Michael Cole: Zack's out! Zack's eliminated!
JBL: Zack never had a chance in hell.
14th Eliminated: Zack Morris; Eliminated by: Red Forman; Duration: 5:49
While Zack remained on the floor with bruised nads, alongside Howard still preparing himself up, the 10-second clock lit up on the titantron.
Jerry Lawler: Well, while Howard's still trying to soak himself, we might as well see who number 15 is!
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #24: Eddie Winslow (Family Matters)
As the horn sounded, a man with a flat-top and dressed up in a Chicago Bulls jersey came through the curtain.
He was quite awfully big for a teenager due to his intimidating size.
JBL: *groaning* Great! Another punkass kid!
Michael Cole: Here comes Eddie Winslow from Family Matters!
Jerry Lawler: That guy is awfully big! Not as big as Bull though, but still!
As he got inside the ring, he automatically went right to work, throwing right hands to Austin, Bull, Carl, and Tyler at the same time!
After he took care of them, Eddie looked to the upper right turnbuckle to see Sheldon Cooper trying his best to superplex Steve Urkel.
Jerry Lawler: Uh-oh, you know with Urkel in the ring as well, I know who Eddie's gonna help out!
With no surprise at all, Eddie managed to grab Sheldon's legs and hold him in a powerbomb position.
With Urkel on top rope, the nerd managed to leap in the air and hit Sheldon with a Blockbuster the same time Eddie put the nerd down with a powerbomb!
JBL: Wow! What a move!
Jerry Lawler: Hard to believe you see a move like that!
As soon as Urkel and Eddie shook hands in unity, Howard Wolowitz was still outside the ring putting on deodorant.
Suddenly, the rest of the Big Bang Theory fans were growing restless. They wanted to see Howard in the ring immediately. Instead, they were treated to a little warm-up session all hosted by Wolowitz.
JBL: *groaning angrily* Why the hell is he taking forever?!
Michael Cole: Howard is still preparing himself.
Jerry Lawler: He takes a lot of time getting ready than all the competitors standing in the ring!
However, one of the audience members grew tired of being impatient.
Because of this, a female hispanic teenager hopped over the barricade and grabbed a steel chair. The camera got a good shot at her, in which the audience member was identified as Tyler James's girlfriend, Nikki Ortiz!
Jerry Lawler: Hey, look at that!
JBL: Hold on a second, since when did she come from?
Michael Cole: Apparently, if you haven't been watching "Dog With A Blog", that's Tyler's girlfriend, Nikki!
Like a ninja, Nikki tapped on Howard's shoulder.
As the nerd turned around, the hispanic girl swung a chair at him, which forced Wolowitz to run to the ring in safety!
JBL: It's about time that damn nerd finally got in the ring!
But unfortunately, as a fully-equipped Howard got inside the ring, Tyler James rushed at Howard and clotheslined him over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating him at record time!
This sent the entire Madison Square Garden in total laughs!
Jerry Lawler: *laughing* Uh-oh! That didn't last!
Michael Cole: Howard was eliminated faster than he got in! I can't believe this!
JBL: Yeah, what a waste of time for Wolowitz!
15th Eliminated: Howard Wolowitz; Eliminated by: Tyler James; Duration: 0:01.8
As Howard got up the floor, his jaw dropped in disappointment. He couldn't believe that he was dumped faster than he got in the ring.
Because of that, he started throwing a fit down at ringside. Kicking into the steel steps or cussing at the audience wasn't gonna help him at all one bit.
JBL: What a crybaby.
Jerry Lawler: Well, you definitely can't blame him.
As Howard still argued down at ringside, Bull Shannon got a good hold of Liv Rooney down at the turnbuckle.
As the popstar remained grounded, Bull managed to place his giant hand on her chest (wink wink), and slapped it hard in a non-dirty way! This forced Liv to hold out her chest in pain!
Michael Cole: Oh my!
Jerry Lawler: Yeesh, that was right in the vocal cords!
While Liv was trying hard to breathe from that giant chop, the Rumble clock lit up on the titantron, giving way to another entrant!
JBL: Oh well, we might as well find out who's number 25!
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #25: Bud Bundy (Married... With Children)
As the buzzer sounded, a teenager who was wearing his infamous Grandmaster B costume made his way down the aisle.
To his surprise, he got a huge ovation from the crowd (mostly from the black community).
JBL: Oh, that's special. We just got ourself a pervert...
Jerry Lawler: Apparently, he's not just any pervert, that's Bud Bundy from Married... With Children!
JBL: Like we don't have enough bratty teenagers anyway!
Before Bud Bundy got inside the ring, he dug into the apron, pulling out a steel chair!
And as he finally entered the ring, he started whacking everyone in sight from Steve Urkel to Red Forman to Eddie Winslow!
Jerry Lawler: I think Bud's pulling out some furniture here!
Michael Cole: This may start to look like the 2001 Royal Rumble!
JBL: I only hope that doesn't happen.
Bud Bundy's next target on his hit-list was Austin Moon.
After hitting the rockstar in the gut with the chair, Bud Bundy set the chair down and grabbed Austin Moon with a DDT. But as soon as he could hit it, Austin lifted Bud up and sent him slamming down on the steel in pain!
Michael Cole: Oh man!
Jerry Lawler: That's like hitting the cold pavement there!
While Bud was wrenching his back, Carl McMillan was at the top rope, trying to catch Bull Shannon by surprise. He then turned to his girlfriend, Victoria, who was cheering him on to attack the bailiff.
And as Bull Shannon turned around, the policeman leaped in the air for a flying body press...
...
...
...only for the bailiff to catch him like a baseball!
Jerry Lawler: Whoa, look at that!
JBL: Uh-oh, bad move there, McMillan!
Holding him in a backbreaker position, Bull noticed Bud still lying down next to him.
With a smirk on his face, Bull spun Carl around and nailed him with a powerslam, landing on top of Bud!
Michael Cole: Oh man, that's gotta hurt!
JBL: Bull just slammed Carl on top of Bud Bundy! Talk about getting laid!
Jerry Lawler: I can only hope that's not a sexual pun!
As Bull Shannon turned to the crowd and raised his fists in victory (mostly just to show off to his hometown crowd), Tyler James came out of nowhere and dropkicked Bull right on the back of his head, making him stumble on the ropes!
Jerry Lawler: WHOA!
Michael Cole: Where did Tyler James come from?!
With Bull losing a bit of his momentum on the ropes, Tyler asked the others to come for help.
And just like that, Tyler enlisted the help of Urkel, Eddie, Sheldon, Austin and Liv to team up and eliminate the big bailiff. They all charged after him one at a time, and only 10 seconds later, the big man was over the top rope and onto the floor, leaving out New York City torn in a mixed reaction.
JBL: Uh-oh, looks like Big Bull's going home!
Michael Cole: The biggest man in the matchup so far has been eliminated!
Jerry Lawler: Bull's gotta be really disappointed, and so is this New Work crowd.
16th Eliminated: Bull Shannon; Eliminated by: Steve Urkel, Eddie Winslow, Sheldon Cooper, Tyler James, Austin Moon, and Liv Rooney; Duration: 6:48
As Bull left ringside feeling a little disappointed, the Rumble clock lit up again, giving way to the 26th entrant of the match.
Jerry Lawler: Anyway, we're about to see number 26! I can't wait!
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #26: Maxwell Sheffield (The Nanny)
As the buzzer sounded, a stranger with a formal gray suit and his trademark black hair (with a white streak) came through the curtain.
And just like Bull Shannon, he also got a tremendous hometown pop. Despite being British himself, he actually resides here in New York City, because of his job as a Broadway producer. He wasn't alone by the way. By his side was his good friend and confidant, Niles the Butler.
Michael Cole: Oh man, is this about to get interesting!
JBL: Oh yeah, another good friend of mine and New York's finest, Mr. Maxwell Sheffield from "The Nanny"!
Jerry Lawler: Look at this crowd go nuts for him! They really love their New Yorkers, even though he doesn't sound like one!
JBL: Can't wait to see what Mr. Sheffield's gonna pull off here today!
To be continued...
Now that we got Chapter 8 over and out, here's the stats we have so far.
Eliminated: Dez Wade, Martin Payne, Leroy T. Brown, George Costanza, A.C. Slater, Pops Williams, Bob Duncan, Barney Stinson, Mike Seaver, Beck Oliver, Julius Rock, Eric Forman, Gilligan, Howard Wolowitz, Zack Morris and Bull Shannon
Still in the ring: Austin Moon, Bud Bundy, Carl McMillan, Eddie Winslow, Liv Rooney, Maxwell Sheffield, Red Forman, Sheldon Cooper, Steve Urkel and Tyler James
Entrants in the ring: 10 (so far)
Entrants still left to go: 24 (so far)
Longest time spent in the ring so far: Steve Urkel, Sheldon Cooper (I think around 28 minutes.)
Shortest time spent in the ring: Howard Wolowitz (0:01.8 seconds)
Most people eliminated: Austin Moon (4)
Tyler is on a roll! Will he surpass Austin Moon's eliminations?
Will Sheldon and Urkel keep on fighting to the end just like last chapter?
How will Mr. Sheffield fare in the Sitcom Royal Rumble?
The answers will be revealed next chapter! Until then, Happy early Valentine's Day, folks!