"Sitcom Royal Rumble"
Rated T for mild language and violence
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney, Nickelodeon or TBS. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy!
Chapter 10: A Bundy Strikes
With both Bud Bundy and Eddie Winslow looking on, Marshall (aka Beercules) stepped inside the ring and started going after the twosome with a pair of double clotheslines!
Jerry Lawler: Wow, look at Marshall go!
JBL: He took down both Eddie and Bud with a single clothesline!
Michael Cole: Marshall's looking fired up here!
With the two horndogs down, Marshall looked for someone else to beat up on.
So he decided to approach Liv Rooney and trap her with a torture rack! She was bending her like a pencil, hoping he would break the blonde-haired starlet in half!
Jerry Lawler: *cringing* Oh man, that's really painful to watch!
JBL: He's looking to bend Liv Rooney over!
Michael Cole: Definitely a pun intended!
While holding Liv on his shoulders, Austin Moon tried his best to save the popstar to the best of his ability, but Marshall Eriksen laid out the rock-star with a bicycle kick!
Jerry Lawler: *shocked* Oh gracious!
JBL: Ha! Austin Moon got it in the kisser!
Still bending over Liv Rooney like a straw, Marshall Eriksen finally managed to toss her aside.
However, he was forced to put Liv down when Shawn managed to slow Beercules down with shots to the gut.
Michael Cole: Look at Shawn go right at it!
Jerry Lawler: That's probably a smart move if I've ever seen one!
JBL: Yeah, but it may prove to be foolish!
Shawn fired out of all cylinders, bringing Marshall down to his knees, which he did successfully.
And then Shawn ran to the ropes and back again...
...
...
...only for him to eat a meat-hook clothesline, thanks to Beercules!
Jerry Lawler: Oh, HELLO!
JBL: There goes Shawn's entire jaw!
As Shawn was laid out in an unconscious state, Marshall managed to pick him up by the collar of his shirt.
Feeling dazed and confused, Shawn was thrown over the top rope and onto the floor in elimination! But suddenly, he landed on top of Fez, who was just getting back up.
Jerry Lawler: Well, there goes Shawn!
JBL: And down goes the foreigner! That kid is not catching a break!
Michael Cole: Shawn's out of the match!
20th Eliminated: Shawn Hunter; Eliminated by: Marshall Eriksen; Duration: 3:40
As Shawn slowly managed to get back up from his feet, Fez was yet again knocked out. So far, it's been a minute since he still hasn't gotten in the ring.
Meanwhile, Dan Fielding had trapped Carl McMillan in a tree of woe, putting the foot in the policeman's mouth. Steve Urkel was doing his best trying to revive Eddie Winslow, not to much success. As that was going on, the countdown clock lit up on the titantron, bringing in another entrant.
Michael Cole: Number 31's gonna make his way soon!
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #31: Theo Huxtable (The Cosby Show)
As the buzzer sounded, another large teen wearing a New York Knicks jersey came out to another hometown pop.
He looked more like Eddie Winslow, all except that the face was somehow different.
JBL: Another damn high-schooler?! There's way too much already!
Michael Cole: Another hometown favorite from NY!
Jerry Lawler: It's Theo Huxtable from "The Cosby Show"! And with Eddie Winslow in the ring, we're definitely gonna see one hell of a battle!
As soon as Theo got to the ring, he went to work on Tyler James, who managed to shove him off.
As Tyler was sent flying back, the ladykiller got back up, only to eat a big boot from Theo!
Michael Cole: And Theo connects with a big boot!
JBL: Time to call Tyler a dentist! His smile may need some fixing!
Theo was just getting started.
His next target was Dan Fielding, who was still putting his foot in Carl's mouth. Sneaking in, Theo managed to grab Dan by the waist, and flung him across the ring with a German Suplex. And yet, he still hung on to him!
Michael Cole: What a huge German Suplex!
Jerry Lawler: Wait a minute, Theo's not quite done with him!
With Dan Fielding trying so hard to get up, Theo managed to muscle him up to his feet.
But then, he threw him once again with yet another German Suplex!
JBL: Here came another one!
Jerry Lawler: And he's still going!
Michael Cole: Theo's channeling his inner Brock Lesnar here tonight!
Dan was growing a bit weary and tired from all the German Suplexes that he took.
So as Theo was about to lift Dan up for a third German Suplex, Carl McMillan managed to trip Theo on his feet, the same time he grabbed Dan's neck, slamming the district attorney down for a German Suplex/STO double-team move. And Theo didn't even know he was double teaming with Carl in the first place!
Michael Cole: OH MAN!
JBL: That might have broke Dan Fielding's neck!
Jerry Lawler: Any worser than that and Dan's career as a district attorney might have ended right there!
As Dan held out his neck in excruciating pain, Fez managed to finally recover.
However, he was finally instructed by ring officials to get in the ring, which made it clear that Fez wasn't even eliminated at this point.
JBL: It's about time that limey got up.
Jerry Lawler: I don't know what Fez can even do with such blurred vision!
Fez finally managed to get inside the ring, but however, the pepper spray attack that he suffered at the hands of Carl's girlfriend was affecting his eye vision, which made it very difficult for him to see.
But just as he got in the ring, Tyler James came from behind and threw Fez over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating him to a mixed response!
Michael Cole: Well, that didn't last long!
JBL: Good riddance for Fez! Now we don't have to see that pervert again!
Jerry Lawler: Well, you have to think Victoria for getting involved in the first place!
21st Eliminated: Fez; Eliminated by: Tyler James; Duration: 0:08
As the rest of the ring officials managed to check on Fez's blurry condition, the Rumble clock managed to lit up on the titantron, awaiting the 32nd entrant of the match!
JBL: I can't wait for number 32! Who is it?
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #32: Al Bundy (Married... With Children)
As the horn sounded for the 32nd time, a shoe salesman in his usual blue workshirt and brown pants came out to a roaring applause.
Suddenly, the entire New York crowd chanted 'Bundy! Bundy! Bundy!' in favor in this man.
Jerry Lawler: Well, business has just been picked up!
Michael Cole: We got another favorite coming in! It's Al Bundy from "Married... With Children".
JBL: I can't hear anything! They're going nuts for this man, and he ain't even in New York!
As Al entered the ring, he started going to work immediately, by hammering away at Steve Urkel and nailing a bodyslam on the nerd!
Michael Cole: Look at him go to work immediately!
JBL: If he actually went to work, it would be at a shoe store, not at a wrestling ring!
Austin Moon was the next man to taste the shoeman's wrath.
Austin tried to surprise him with a clothesline, but Al retaliated by striking him in the gut, and nailed the rockstar with a Russian Leg Sweep!
Jerry Lawler: Al Bundy's cleaning house!
JBL: It's not like they're even trying to take Al Bundy down!
Al Bundy's next man on his hit list was Marshall Eriksen.
From there, the two men were engaged in one intense faceoff. Both men were urging to hit one another as verbal exchanges between Marshall and Al increased.
Marshall Eriksen: *to Al* You ain't that bad!
Al Bundy: *to Marshall* You should take a look at Peg's mom, that'll clear your thought!
After the faceoff, Al Bundy and Marshall Eriksen both gave a test of strength, hoping to bring one of them down to their knees.
At first, Marshall had the upperhand, bringing Al Bundy down to his knees with ease. But slowly, yet surely, Al Bundy managed to get himself back up and bring Marshall, aka Beercules, down to his knees. So far, the crowd was split between two men.
Michael Cole: This is feeling very intense!
JBL: Yeah. Hopefully, I think Al is way drunk than Marshall is.
Jerry Lawler: I could tell because of the pudding belly Al has.
While both Al and Marshall had their test of strength, Theo Huxtable was trying to hard to eliminate Tyler James, Bud Bundy and Eddie Winslow at one time, which seemed pretty much impossible in Theo's case.
He tried to lift him up, but the body weight was too much for him.
Jerry Lawler: Look at this attempt right here.
JBL: No way Theo's eliminating three people at once. I think Eddie Winslow ate an entire fat kid for lunch.
Luckily, Theo managed to lift all three over the top rope, but unfortunately for him, all three men managed to remain on the apron for safety.
Michael Cole: Well, we almost had it happen!
JBL: I'm telling you, Michael, Eddie Winslow ate up a fat kid.
Meanwhile, over at the upper right turnbuckle, Liv Rooney started shoving her shoe across Dan Fielding's face, choking him on impact.
At the same time, the countdown clock lit up on the titantron, bringing in another entrant in the Sitcom Royal Rumble!
Jerry Lawler: Let's see who number 33 is so far!
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #33: Steven Hyde (That 70s Show)
As the buzzer sounded, a man with his familar short brown afro, aviator sunglasses and Led Zeppelin t-shirt raced down the aisle, hoping to waste no time getting in on the Rumble action!
JBL: Oh, come on! What's up with these crappy high-school punks!?
Michael Cole: Here comes Steven Hyde from "That 70's Show"! He's looking pumped up!
Jerry Lawler: I think it must be the stash that he smoked from backstage.
JBL: Huh, no wonder I smelled rosemary early in the night.
Instead of having to enter the ring, Hyde decided to enter via the top rope, hoping to get both Al Bundy and Marshall Eriksen in a sneak attack.
And as the shoe-salesman and soon-to-be judge looked up to the pot-smoker, Hyde leaped out of the top rope and crash-landed onto the duo with a double axe handle!
Jerry Lawler: Whoa, he really flew there!
Michael Cole: Talk about a first impression!
Steven Hyde was still rolling, especially when he encountered Theo Huxtable.
Theo tried to surprise Hyde with a chokeslam, but the teenaged smoker managed to counter the maneuver with a DDT!
Michael Cole: OH! What a thunderous DDT!
Jerry Lawler: That oughta send Theo's brains jumbling!
With Theo down and out, Steven Hyde picked him up and dragged him over the top rope, hoping to eliminate him.
While that was going on, another elimination attempt was going on. This time, between Austin Moon and Liv Rooney. The reason Austin was attacking Liv was because they botched a superkick attempt in which Liv tried to attack Dan, but ended up kicking Austin instead!
JBL: Uh-oh, Liv could be going out! No point of return for her!
Austin managed to send her over the top rope, but Liv managed to remain on the apron.
Yet, the rockstar wasn't done with her yet. Austin tried to push Liv off the apron, but the popstar had an ace up her sleeve. So she grabbed Austin's face...
...
...
...and kissed him hard! Suddenly, the entire New York crowd all engaged in a 'WOOOOOOOOOOOO' chant, seeing this hot kiss between them!
Jerry Lawler: WHOA! Look at that!
JBL: I did not expect that to happen!
Jerry Lawler: Doesn't that bring back memories, Cole?
Michael Cole: I have! It's like when Beth Phoenix eliminated The Great Khali back at the 2010 Royal Rumble!
The kiss took a lot out of Austin Moon to be exact.
Suddenly, Austin's knees was too weak to fight back, which sent him over the top rope and onto the floor in a shocking elimination!
Jerry Lawler: Look at this! Austin's out!
JBL: That may be the most smartest thing I've ever seen!
Michael Cole: *chuckling* Liv Rooney has just eliminated Austin Moon, all because of a kiss!
22nd Eliminated: Austin Moon; Eliminated by: Liv Rooney; Duration: 21:37
Austin felt shocked that he was eliminated in this kind of fashion. But suddenly let out an interesting smile, as he found it worthwhile to be eliminated by a pretty girl quite like Liv Rooney.
As he walked back up the entrance ramp, he looked back to Liv Rooney, who blew a kiss at him.
Jerry Lawler: Wow, Austin's gonna remember that!
JBL: It sucks. Why does Austin Moon get all the good stuff and I don't?!
However, the little exchange between Austin and Liv didn't last as Steven Hyde snuck up behind Liv Rooney, hoping to catch her in surprise!
And when Liv turned around, Steven Hyde kicked her in the but and brought her neck down to the mat with a Stone Cold Stunner!
Michael Cole: Stunner! Stunner!
Jerry Lawler: Steven Hyde with a Stone Cold Stunner on Liv Rooney!
JBL: I'm really impressed! He actually pulled off a Stone Cold Stunner!
As Hyde started talking down to a knocked-out Liv Rooney, Carl McMillan was busy stomping a mudhole on Bud Bundy, while Dan Fielding was busy giving Steve Urkel one hurtful wedgie.
Meanwhile, the Rumble clock lit up once again, which indicated that the 34th entrant was about to make his way down!
Jerry Lawler: Number 34's on his way! What an advantage he'll have!
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #34: Danny Tanner (Full House)
With the buzzer sounding once more, a man with a tall frame, curly black hair and a gray business suit came through the curtain, greeted by a bunch of boos.
Apparently, much of the New York crowd wasn't very Full House-friendly to be exact.
JBL: Oh, here comes trouble!
Jerry Lawler: I agree. Here comes Danny from "Full House"! And concerning the reception he's getting, something tells me this crowd is not very Full House-friendly here tonight!
Michael Cole: Well, we are in New York City after all! Can Danny survive in an atmosphere quite like the Rumble?
To be continued...
All right, we've got Danny Tanner in the Rumble, but unfortunately, he'll gonna have to wait until the next chapter to see what he's truly made of. Until then, let's see some stats!
Eliminated: Dez Wade, Martin Payne, Leroy T. Brown, George Costanza, A.C. Slater, Pops Williams, Bob Duncan, Barney Stinson, Mike Seaver, Beck Oliver, Julius Rock, Eric Forman, Gilligan, Howard Wolowitz, Zack Morris, Bull Shannon, Maxwell Sheffield, Red Forman, Sheldon Cooper, Shawn Hunter, Fez and Austin Moon
Still in the ring: Al Bundy, Bud Bundy, Carl McMillan, Dan Fielding, Danny Tanner, Eddie Winslow, Liv Rooney, Marshall Eriksen, Steve Urkel, Steven Hyde, Theo Huxtable and Tyler James
Entrants in the ring: 12 (so far)
Entrants still left to go: 16 (so far)
Longest time spent in the ring so far: Steve Urkel (I think around 28 minutes.)
Shortest time spent in the ring: Howard Wolowitz (0:01.8 seconds)
Most people eliminated: Austin Moon, Tyler James (5)
Can Tyler break Austin Moon's record of five eliminations for six?
Will Steven Hyde do even better than Eric, Fez, and Red combined?
Who will Liv Rooney flirt with next in order to keep going in the Rumble?
Will I keep confusing Theo Huxtable for Eddie Winslow?
Trust me, you don't wanna miss next chapter! Until then, happy late Valentine's Day everyone!