Heartaches

Chapter 52

By Kellyq

The next day Yusei was able to make it to Rudger's room without any problems. He stood there, taking a deep breath. Yusei reached out, placed his hand around the handle and opened the door. Godwin was sitting next to his brother, holding his hand. Rudger slowly turned and Yusei's eyes widened. The right sighed of Ruder's face was scrunched up, and his eye was closed tightly.

Yusei bit his lip, and slowly walked up. He felt awkward being in their presence. I wonder if my dad felt that way, Yusei thought.

"Yusei here wants to talk to you," Godwin spoke up, getting his brother's attention. "He also has Hakase's diary as well."

Rudger glanced at Yusei who pulled the book out and placed it on his lap. Rudger eyed it before giving Yusei a look.

"I skimmed the book over and my parents did care about you," Yusei explained.

"Know the truth," Rudger pointed out. He didn't want to know how Hakase felt about him. It was clear that he didn't want him.

"It wasn't like that at all," Yusei tried to reason. "My father did love you … even after you got hurt when the lab exploded, he tried to show it, but he was scared because you changed."

"What's the point in all this?" Godwin cut in. "My brother already knew that Hakase chose Hana because she stole his heart."

"My father did care about Rudger! But when he was in the hospital for so long, he didn't know who else to turn to!"

"You know what? This was a mistake!" Godwin said, snatching the diary, trusting it back to Yusei. "Take this, and get out!"

"No!" Rudger cut in. "Diary is the truth."

"But Rudger …" Godwin paused; after a moment, he got up. "Call me if you need anything."

Yusei and Rudger watched him walk out, closing the door. "Are you sure you're ready for this?" Yusei asked, glancing back Rudger. He nodded his head. Yusei pulled up a chair and sat down. He opened the book to the third page and started to read aloud. "This is all new to me and I hope writing it will help. I'll start off explaining that I'm a scientist working on Quantum Physics. My main idea is to create new energy that's more affective and cheaper. Right now I'm looking for some help."

Rudger remembered how Hakase explained it to him, and that got him and Godwin eager to help.

Yusei glanced up to see that Rudger had spaced out. He waited until Rudger was ready to hear more. After a moment, he was ready. "I had a successful day. I hired two guys, Rudger and his brother Rex, as my assistance last week! They showed much promise. Rudger especially; he pointed things out that I didn't notice and that helped advance our research. We might have a prototype by next year!"

Rudger remembered how they met, and it was the first time he felt something. Yusei turned the page. "Things are progressing and I'm starting to think that Rudger is taking too much responsibility for the project. I tried to talk him out of taking so much, but he gave me a smile and told me that he didn't mind. I don't know what to make of it. It's almost like he wants to be my friend instead of lab partners." Yusei's eyes shifted up at Rudger. "Is that how it started out, or did you love my dad like Godwin said?"

Rudger glanced down for a moment. Yusei waited for a moment and figured that he wanted to talk, but couldn't bring out the right words. Yusei sighed and turned the page. "Rudger has been showing a lot of support with my ideas that the other people in the lab say 'won't work'. The main one is Yiliaster. He never showed interest in what I've been doing until I brought Rudger and his brother on board." Yusei paused for a moment. "Wasn't Yiliaster a wealthy business man that worked on Quantum Physics and Robotics?" Rudger nodded his head. Then there's more to this than my dad knew! Yusei thought. He bit his lip, pondering if he should start asking questions about Yiliaster.

"Keep reading," Rudger insisted.

Yusei turned the page. "I've decided to take the day off and Rudger accompanied me around town. We walked around the park, had lunch, and talked about things other than work. It was nice to have someone to talk to and it wouldn't hurt to have him as a friend."

"Friends, yes," Rudger finally spoke up.

Yusei narrowed his eyes. "If you cared about my dad, why did you hurt him?" Rudger placed his left hand on his chest. "My dad tried very hard not to hurt you, but you wound up hurting him instead!"

"Don't get it!"

"No, you don't get!" Yusei argued back. "You scared him after the lab exploded and you turned right around and started to be abusive toward him right after you were released from the hospital! My dad didn't know who else to turn to but his childhood friend Hana! She understood how he felt about you …"

Rudger blinked a few times, vaguely remembering what Yiliaster said about Hana. Yusei could tell that Rudger was having a hard time adjusting to the piece of news. He flipped through the pages and found the entries he wanted.

Yusei glanced up to see that Rudger was still contemplating. "You don't feel anything, do you?" Yusei accused in a low tone. "My dad did say that after you survived the explosion, you changed and that's what drove him away and ended up with Hana," he explained.

"Yiliaster," Rudger said, trying speak clearly. "Hakase cared no more."

That's got to be the reason! He was lied to! Yusei thought. "Yiliaster lied to you. My dad did care about you even after he married Hana and I came into the picture."

Rudger glanced at Yusei. "Read."

He sighed and looked down at the diary. "Where we left off, or the entries that talk about you getting out of the hospital?" Yusei finally asked, making eye contact with Rudger.

Rudger shrugged. He remembered those times and they weren't pleasant. He felt so alienated from everyone, and seeing Hakase with Hana struck him hard. He felt that his feelings and his existence didn't matter anymore. The only thing that kept him going was his brother.

He's pretty messed up, Yusei thought. Yiliaster must've gone to great lengths to make sure that Rudger went after my dad after the accident. Yusei skimmed the page over before he gave Rudger his full attention.

"Did Yiliaster talk to you when you were alone?"

"Yeah …"

Now I wish I knew what Yliaster's purpose was? "My dad did try and find evidence how the lab blew, but he couldn't find any but a few wires that were tweaked. He asked you after you woke up if you remembered anything, but he said that you didn't. Do you remember anything now?" Yusei asked, thinking that if he read the book, Rudger would try to talk about what happened.

"Read," Rudger insisted, pointing to his head.

Yusei sighed. "It has been a month," he started to read aloud, "and Rudger hasn't woken up. I stayed by his side and I looked the sight over, and did a thorough search but all I found was a few wires that were tweaked. I never thought this would ever happen. Rudger doesn't have to suffer like this. I just hope he can forgive him for what happened."

Yusei turned the page. "Rudger finally made some signs that he might wake up soon, and when he's well enough, I'm going to just focus on taking care of him. Hana suggested that she could help. She's been a real support since the accident and I'm grateful that she understands how I feel. Rudger is important to me and I just hope that when he wakes up, he won't think that things have changed between us."

Rudger looked down, feeling a little embarrassed. He didn't pay too much attention to what he did when he woke up. When Rudger opened his eyes, the person he saw was Yiliaster.

"Should I stop reading?" Yusei asked, snapping Rudger out of his thoughts. Yusei didn't want to make him anymore uncomfortable than he was. Rudger shook his head. Yusei turned the page. "Rudger finally woke up. I asked the Doctor when he regained consciousness, but all he said was that Yiliaster wanted him to rest more until he wanted to see anyone. When I got there, Rudger was alone and waiting for me. I asked him how long he has been awake, and he told me a few days."

"Yiliaster say Hakase didn't come because of Hana …" Rudger tried to explain.

Yusei shook his head. "My dad was busy, but he and Hana made sure that you got the best care."

"Know that. Yiliaster said Hana wanted me live so could watch her take Hakase away," Rudger explained, trying to speak as best as he could, even though it sounded all slurred.

Yusei nodded his head. "My mom wanted you to live because she knew how my dad would have felt if you died."

Rudger looked down with shame. Now things made some sense. Rudger remembered having a talk with his brother when things started to get out of hand.

"Why Hana?" Rudger finally asked.

"You pushed my dad away," Yusei repeated. "He trusted you and gave you his all …"

Rudger held his left hand up in defense. "Know. Wolf."

"What you did to my dad is unforgivable, but I'm willing to let what you did to my dad and Kiryu go if you can stare at me apologize," Yusei said firmly. He waited for a moment and when he realized that Rudger wasn't ready, Yusei sighed. "I figured as much." He closed the book. "What's going to happen to you after you're release from hospital?"

"Rex takes me in," Rudger answered, finally making eye contact with Yusei. "Hakase proud of you. Sorry."

Yusei nodded his head, got up and walked out, closing the door gently behind him.

To Be Continued …