"Note: - this story is not all about events as much as it's about feelings and inner thoughts

- there's someone that wrote a review saying that I am wasting your time with this story and that in the manga they are not in love. Well duh this is exactly what fanfiction is all about, plus if you dislike this ship don't read about it.

Hikaru POV

"You'll never get what you truly deserve if you remain attached to what you're suppose to let go of" dad once told me. But what if I can't do otherwise because I care about the other person and I don't want them to get more depressed because of me? How in the world am I going to move on without losing too much , is it even possible not to hurt the people you care about for what you really want? "OW!" I've hurt my chine while shaving "aah man.." I sighed and looked at my reflection in the mirror "Kaoru.. "fixing him first is what really matters now.

I washed my face and went out of the bathroom "are you ready?" I asked my brother who was sitting on his corner. He looked at me then jumped out of his place and opened a drawer and walked back to me. He put a plaster on the scratch in my chin "kaoru..thank you!" we shared a fast look before Kaoru turned his face to the other side "we're late" he said and went out of the room in a hurry. I smiled to his lovely behavior, maybe he decided to not be so hard after all.

Ouran University for art. Gardens surround the huge buildings, it is ten times bigger than Ouran high and has students from all over the world, once the car stopped Kaoru went out and entered one of the buildings " Oh! Hey wait for me !" I ran after him, even though he was hiding his eyes with his hair people noticed we look alike and I actually enjoy that attention. I decided to attend all of Kaoru's classes with him, if I was to gain his trust again I got to know what kind of daily life he has.

While my brother was walking ahead of me some guy hit his shoulder and Kaoru was about to fall down but I held him from the back , the guy apologized and kept walking but Kaoru turned to face me "huh! Kao?" his eyes were teary " I told you not to touch me!" he shouted and ran away "What! But you were about to fall down !" I ran after him..what have I done. "Kaoru wait" I shouted but he didn't stop. There's no point in chasing him so I stopped and sighed "is he your brother? You really look alike" I looked behind me to a normal looking girl "eh yeah he's my twin brother actually " I noticed that Kaoru entered his lecture hall "he's a hard headed guy , it's impossible to deal with him " that's not true , he used to be too kind "it's just..he's been into too much, oh I am late! " I waved to the girl and left to the lecture , Kaoru was sitting on the end of the row beside the window so I took a seat beside him "hey.." he ignored me and doodled on his notebook. I took my notebook out of my backpack and wrote " I'm so sorry I didn't want you to fall down!" he read it and wrote " next time let me fall down but don't touch me" he is making me feel like an alien. After 5 minutes the professor entered the hall and started talking about the history of architecture in Rome. Despite the fact that it was super boring, Kaoru didn't stop doodling, someday I'll steal that notebook. We went out after an hour and sat on a chair in the garden

"Hikaru.."

"yes.."

"I feel strange"

"how is that?" I looked at my jacket instead of looking at his eyes. One thing I noticed about the new his is that he doesn't like people to look at his eyes while he's talking

"it's..my space is suddenly filled and.. " he took a deep breath. this time I decided to listen before saying anything " I don't like that, Hikaru.." he hugged my backpack and hid his face on it " I've isolated myself from the whole world and..I am so scared to open up. That you and everybody else will hurt me again " he took a deep breath "and I don't like to get hurt anymore" I see it all now "I am not strong anymore, I am totally broken " it's not only me, everybody around him was judging him and hurting him for a year now. Not only that , they've built a wrong image about who he really is without giving him a chance to explain himself, that happened before when we were little kids. We wanted people to tell us apart but whenever they messed we used to cry and close in ourselves even more. It's happening again now. He coughed and I gave him some tissues " do you wanna go for a walk?" I asked and he nodded " Hika..it's okay if you wanna ummm.. hold my hand " he said touching his hair and I smiled "you'd let me?" he nodded and that made me happy ..he started trusting me again, as gentle as I could be, I engaged my fingers to his. I missed holding his hand and be a part of his world.

After finishing his lectures we went to the cafeteria to have our tea break, the place is super classy as well so once we sat around the table , maids walked to us and took our orders. "mom told me you have eating disorder" I said and he nodded" I don't mind tea though" he said and I smiled to him

"Oh lord , so the rumors were right , Kaoru happened to have a sexy hell of a brother" I heard two girls talking from the table behind us "yeah , could you believe that they are twins! I mean how could that messed up punk Kaoru be a twin of a guy that looks like a super model!" they laughed "he's so desperate I bet he must be jealous of his brother" they laughed again and I looked at Kaoru who was looking at his notebook with a cold face that didn't show any sign of hurt "I got to try my luck with him " she said and I looked at her "WILL YOU SHUT UP! " I left my seat and walked to them "hika.." Kaoru called me but I kept walking, I can't let this happen anymore , not when I am here "WHY WOULD I THINK OF DATING SUCH SCUM BAGS LIKE YOU!" I held a cup of water that was on the table and splashed it on their faces "keep the shit in your mouths to yourselves" they were shocked "AAAAAAA!" one of them screamed and the maids ran to her "I WON'T FORGIVE YOU , HITACHIIN !" she shouted but I gave her a cold shoulder "ugly girls with ugly personalities .."

"let's go" I gave my hand to Kaoru who got shocked too. He took my hand and we went out of the cafeteria

"you shouldn't do that, I am used to hear that .." he said. Didn't he ever bother insulting them back? He is so depressed to even .."oh my god!, Kaoru you don't fucking deserve this!" I stopped him and looked straight to his eyes putting my hands on his shoulders

"Hikaru?"

"listen to me dear brother! I love you the way you are and the way you want to be and I won't allow anybody in the whole world to hurt you again , not even myself! you get it! You deserve to be loved and respected for who you are!"

His eyes glowed to the sun light..he frequented and looked to the floor then slowly he raised his hands and wrapped them around my body "Kao.." he hugged me and sniffed "do I really..deserve..?" he sniffed again. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him, I like being this close to him "yes you do " I brushed his hair with my fingers. He shouldn't feel insecure again. As a matter of fact , I started drawing a picture in my mind for the things he destroyed before ,just to try and build them up again.

"Hikaru ..one day I'll tell you about something, will you promise me not to leave me alone after knowing it " our faces were an inch apart while his eyes were glowing and he blushed. "I promise I won't " I know exactly what he's talking about ..and he knows that I know.

It was the first reason why I dated Haruhi and left with her. I knew about the kind of feelings he has for me long time ago even though he didn't confess, I don't know when did that start to happen, maybe when we joined the host club ,but it scared me a lot and I didn't want to get into that because I , myself started thinking about those feelings. And this was the time I decided to take a different path and run away with a girl that I already love and respect.

Thanks for reading YvY your reviews made my day ,I'll upload soon 3