Continued: I am sorry. So very, very sorry...
Chapter Eight
Tom sat on the edge of the bed with his hand firmly attached to hers.
He thought about all the years they had together. Some riddled with angst, some riddled with not knowing but most filled with happiness. The two of them had shared so many good times.
He loved the big moments they shared and they came to his memory first when the years flashed by. Then the times they had that were just the two of them walking and talking. Sharing their dreams and hopes for the future. Quite often she babbled away while he just stared at her and listened. She was so beautiful and he felt so much joy just being in her presence.
He loved every minute of those times and would cherish them until the day he died. He remembered every word she said to him. Whether it was in anger, or confusion or in love. He always listened to her and was a confidante like no other she had ever had. She had told him this regularly.
He had watched her turn from a fine young lady to a beautiful woman. He had watched her social conscious develop from that of a fledgling to that of an intelligent opinionated woman. They had shared so many evenings chatting away until the wee hours about political events that were happening around them. They discussed the changing world and how things would be so very different in the future. Both of them were optimistic about what lay in store for them. Both of them were so happy.
They didn't always see eye to eye though. Some of their heated debates still rang in his ears as fresh as the day they had happened. Sometimes, one or the other of them would storm off in a huff only to return some time later with an apology fitting of their behaviour. They both loved it. And those days would ring in his memory for years.
But now, as he sat on the bed, her hand was getting colder by the minute and he lamented. The memories had suddenly been turned bittersweet knowing they would be the only ones they would have. Their time together had been tragically cut short the night before. She had taken her last breath then, with him, and Cora and Mary by her bedside.
They had all cried. The tragedy of a life cut so short had damaged them all but it was so soon that the true shock hadn't set in. He could still look at her and hold her hand. He could still kiss her forehead and talk to her in the flesh.
They would be coming to take her away soon and he wished nothing more that time would stop and he could sit there and hold her hand forever. He wanted to follow to her the place she was now travelling but he could not. Or could he? He could end his own life, but that was no guarantee that he would be able to stay with her. It was complicated but he didn't now how he would go on. For the moment he just held her hand and stared at her face. His thumb circled the skin and on the top of her hand and he could feel her getting colder still.
His soul turned cold as her hand did. He didn't want to think of tomorrow. Or the day after. Or the rest of his life without her. His heart broke more and more as the minutes went by and the finality of the situation became apparent.
She was gone. She had breathed her last. She had never taken another breath but he sat there, even hours later wishing and willing for a miracle. It would not come.
He knew it would not but he wished it still.
The light of the morning crept in the window and lit her face for him to see. He stared hard. Not wanting to forget a thing about her. Not that he would, but in a short time, they would take her away and he would never see her again.
He lifted her cold hand to his lips and kissed it. The feelings would never be felt again and his heart was shattered.
The tears flowed freely now. He didn't care if it was inappropriate to show so much emotion. He couldn't bottle it in anymore. His life would never be the same. It would never feel as complete as it had in the times that they were together.
The years they had spent were some of the best of his life. And now an unknown future without her as his backer would have to be faced. He would have to spend his days without her and discover new things and achieve new highs without her being there to hear all about it when he returned at the end of the day.
He would read poetry that she would not hear. He would pick her a flower that she would not smell. He would laugh at an article in the paper and never hear the melodious sound of her laughter ring over the table. He would never hear her sweet laughter again.
He held her hand tighter. He begged time to stop, but as it's cruel tendency was in times such as those, it did not.
Her lips had turned blue sometime in the last few hours. Or he just hadn't wanted to see it before. It was obvious now. And the end of their time together on earth was over.
His heart was broken. Completely.
He leaned over and placed his forehead on the bed and cried like there would be no stoppage to it. He let all of it out. He knew he couldn't be alone with her much longer. Others would want to say good bye.
He would be selfish to think that her death would only affect him. She had been loved by everyone who knew her as friend or family. He knew it, and would not deny the privilege of one last glance to everyone.
But he wanted one more minute. One more hour. One more day. He wanted it all. He wanted their future. But it was not to be.
He didn't hear the woman calling his name at first. It was distant, but it became louder.
He finally felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and it shook him...
"Tom! Wake up!" He recognized Mary's voice and it became clearer as she spoke his name again.
He sat up and opened his eyes and blinked hard at the light in the room. The final tears fell down his cheeks and he wiped them away quickly. The bed was empty. He reached out to touch the crisp sheets but they were cold.
He turned his head quickly to look at his former sister-in-law and she was standing beside him with such a look of compassion on her face that for a moment he wondered where he was and what had happened.
"Tom. You fell asleep...it's time to wake up."
"Oh!" He stood up and realized where he was.
"What were you dreaming about?" She asked him, the look of compassion was still on her face and he knew it was a rare emotion for her to express. They had both been through the night dealing with a circumstance they never had foreseen.
"Sybil. I still miss her so much." He attempted a lame smile at her. The last bits of sleep removed itself from him instantly and his full faculties came back. "Sybbie! Where is she?"
As he spoke, the nurses wheeled a stretcher into the room and shoved him out of the way to move her back onto the bed. They moved quickly and efficiently and in a breath or two, his daughter was was there in front of him. He grabbed her hand and felt the warmth.
The Doctor was only a second behind the nurses. He still wore an apron and a hat, having completed the surgery and come straight away to talk to the girl's father.
"Mr. Branson? We found the source of the internal bleeding and have repaired it. With a bit of luck now, and some time, we think she has an excellent chance at a full recovery. It won't be easy, I'll be honest with you, but if she has the support of her family she will thrive. She may wake up any time, we'll keep a close eye on her."
Tom exhaled. He didn't realize he had been holding his breath. He thanked the doctor profusely and pulled the chair that was there closer to the bed and he sat down. He took his daughter's hand in his and relished in the warmth of it.
"Tom! That's wonderful. She has all of our support, I hope you know that. And so do you." Mary spoke to him genuinely and placed her hand on his shoulder.
"Thank you Mary. For everything. If you need me, I'll be right here." He looked back to his daughter and watched her breath. Slowly and steadily and there was just a bit of light in his heart again.
Her hand felt so warm and he could have sworn he felt her give him just the tiniest of squeezes. Even if he had imagined it there was a glimmer of hope that she would be alright. In time.
Mary leaned over him and kissed him tenderly on the forehead.
"I have to go back to George, but I'll let everyone know how she is doing if that's alright."
He nodded. "Yes. Please. Thank you." He smiled a bit at her. "And Mary?"
"Yes Tom. Anything." She was honest.
"Can you tell George that I don't blame him for the accident and I have no hard feelings towards him? I'm sure he's very upset by the whole situation but sometimes, these things just happen."
Mary stared at him without saying anything much longer than she meant to. No. There was no need to tell him the truth. Sybbie needed the love and support of the entire house to get through this. With the reaction of Mr. Bates yesterday, there was no need to let her suffer more.
"He'll be relieved I'm sure."
She left the Bransons to begin their recovery and was so proud of her selfless son in that moment. Providing he was alone when she got back to his room, she would tell him so. She would never again take for granted any time they had together.
To be continued... I'm sorry... ;)