A/N: Hey, I'm back! And weirdly, as we reach the middle of January in real life, this fic is back on Christmas! lol Hope that's cool with everybody. Here we go...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see Prologue)

Chapter 31

Christmas was right around the corner. Stars Hollow had gone for the usual over-the-top decoration and multiple festivals that made Jess want to puke because it was just too sugary sweet and sparkly. Of course he wasn't paying quite so much attention to the decorations and the trappings right now, he was thinking more about Rory. This would be their last Christmas together without a baby. Next year they would be parents, Jess would be a father. It still blew his mind to think about it, and though he'd never really been the religious type he was praying every day he handled it okay. No matter how much faith Rory, Luke, and even Lorelai put in him, Jess was still worried. He wanted to be committed, he kept saying he was and he meant every word, but the fear remained, the little voice in his head that told him to get ready to run. He wouldn't give into it, he couldn't, Jess just wondered how long it would remain there in his brain taunting him, telling him he was his father's son.

The comfort came from thinking that if he could cope with the way things were right now, Jess could probably cope with anything. Rory's hormones had been particularly crazy this week, and she had all but called him the devil incarnate on three separate occasions for pretty much nothing at all, and then cried her heart out when she realised she had been so mean. She was also well into the food cravings all of a sudden. She'd had some all the way along off and on, but things really ramped up these past few days. Strawberry ice-cream at three in the morning, spaghetti on pizza for lunch one day, and the always disturbing mashed potatoes with hot fudge sauce. Jess always knew Rory could eat, but some of the stuff she had been putting away lately was equal parts impressive and scary!

At least she seemed happy. Jess kept expecting one of Rory's out-of-the blue crying jags would include the words 'I never should've run to you' or 'I wish we weren't having this baby'. As bad as things got sometimes, as much as she could yell and scream when the fit took her, she never seemed to have regrets. Worries, sure, they both had those. The future was still so uncertain in a lot of ways, but things were coming together, and Rory and Jess always knew they had each other, plus Luke and Lorelai to watch their backs.

Apartment hunting had begun. There were some nice places as well as some real dives both in Woodbridge and in New Haven. Either place would work out pretty well for Yale and for Stars Hollow. Of course they only had the one car right now and that was Rory's that her grandparents bought for her eighteen months before. Jess wasn't sure what he would do about transport, since they couldn't afford much, but it was there in the plan to figure out and at least he felt that they were doing something about it now.

It had been pretty scary, the not talking about how things would be after the baby came. Neither Jess nor Rory thought the other was ready to deal and probably kept their mouths shut way longer than they should've. Now they were talking, more than ever, with each other and with Luke and Lorelai. Things felt less daunting when there were people to share with, though Jess was pretty sure nothing was ever going to completely eradicate his fear that they might not cope until life proved to them that they could... if they could.

Jess was so tired. He took in deep breaths of the crisp night air and only felt more sleepy. Working two jobs was not at all fun, and then making regular trips to the store for Rory, or just sitting up with her at night when she couldn't sleep from indigestion, nightmares, or whatever else, it was all taking it's toll. It didn't matter though. With Christmas coming, he was at least going to get a few days rest. Jess had never been a huge fan of Christmas when he was younger, mostly because it didn't seem any more special than any other day to a kid who had Liz for a mother. Luke made some kind of an effort when he moved to Stars Hollow the first time, and Jess at least had fond memories of one festive period with Rory before he skipped town like an idiot. Now he was part of a family, and that meant gifts, a tree, decorations, traditions, and a proper family meal on the day itself. It felt strange to be a part of something like that, and Jess wondered if he would ever get used to it, but he intended to try.

Headed down the street towards home, he stopped a moment to pull his cell from his pocket when it rang. He wasn't surprised to find it was Rory calling.

"Hey," he greeted her. "I'm just on my way home."

"How close are you?" she checked.

"To you or to the store that has the food?" he checked with a smirk because he had a feeling he knew what was coming next.

"I wish I could explain, but right now the only thing I can even think of eating is apples."

Jess didn't answer for a full minute as his brain processed that one.

"Ror, you do realise an apple is a fruit, right?" he checked. "As in an actual healthy choice?"

"Be nice to your pregnant fiancée!" she mock-scolded. "Bring me apples, hard working man."

"On my way," he promised and then hung up.

Jess let out a sigh as he turned and went back a few paces into Doose's store. He quickly dicovered they had three kinds of apples and there was no telling which Rory would want. He could call her back but it was likely she wouldn't know one type from the other if he asked. Jess got her a pound of each and hefted them over to the check out, not even paying attention to who was sat behind it until she spoke.

"Wow, somebody's feeling healthy today," said Lindsay as she rang up the purchases.

"Rory's latest craving," Jess told her with a smile.

He had no reason to hate Lindsay, only reasons to feel bad for her. Now that he thought on it, he had heard Lorelai mention that Lindsay had a part-time job in the store now, just as her husband once had. She was still with that idiot Forester, and nine times out of ten when Jess saw them in the street they were fighting or at least not looking happy. Nobody was to blame but Dean, that much Jess knew, and he chose to ignore the marriage on the rocks that was none of his business anyhow.

"How is Rory?" Lindsay asked conversationally. "I mean, I've seen her in town, and she's gotten so big. I was going to go over and ask her myself, but..."

"She's good," said Jess, knowing precisely why she would feel odd about talking to her husband's ex that he doubtless still pined for. "Well, as good as a person can be in her condition. I'm just doin' all I can to keep her happy," he said, paying for the apples will all the loose change his pocket held and gesturing to said food as evidence of his efforts.

"She looked happy when I saw her," Lindsay agreed, taking the money and counting it into the register. "I was wrong about her, and about you. Anybody can see how in love you two are."

Jess winced at her words, not because they weren't true or anything, only because he knew how much Lindsay needed to believe she wasn't the only one in loveless relationship that was out of her control. Rory moved on from Dean a long time ago, a temporary lapse of judgement a few months back not withstanding, and Jess truly believed that she loved him only. Lindsay had to play second best, potentially for the rest of her life if she chose to stay married to Forester, and it had to hurt. She didn't deserve it, but only she could make the decision to change her fate.

Glancing around, Jess realised there was nobody else in this part of the store, nobody to hear what they were saying. He leaned over towards Lindsay a little and spoke quietly.

"Y'know, my mother is on her fourth husband right now," he told her, "and I'm not sayin' she's a role model or anything, not a chance, but she at least understood that if somebody is making you miserable, you get out," he advised. "Just sayin'," he shrugged, offering up a brief smile before he turned to leave.

Lindsay considered his words a moment and then called his name. He turned in the doorway to look back at her and found her smiling sadly.

"Thanks."

He didn't answer, just nodded an acknowledgement and then left. There was really nothing else he could think to say anyway, and Rory would be getting antsy for her apples by now.

"Luke? Lukey!"

Lorelai reached across the counter to pull on his arm.

"Sorry, what?" he asked, tearing his eyes away from the window.

"Are you checking out other women while I'm sitting right here?" she asked, faking a scandalised look.

Her boyfriend rolled his eyes and continued with cleaning up the empty diner.

"I was looking at my nephew, wondering why he was carrying three pounds of apples home," he frowned slightly.

"Maybe he wants to keep the doctor away for a really, really long time," Lorelai considered. "Or, more likely, Rory is having one of her super duper food cravings again."

Luke nodded in understanding then, encouraging Lorelai to get her stuff off the counter so he could finish wiping it down.

"So, before the fruity talk," she smiled, turning around on her stool to follow Luke's movement. "I was thinking about Christmas gifts for the kids and I'm coming up empty," she sighed. "And then there's you."

"You don't need to buy me anything else, Lorelai, you just bought me a boat," he reminded her.

As if she could forget that, and it was true enough that it blew a hole in the money she had available for gifts and such, but it meant too much to Luke to let it go.

"That's not the same as a Christmas present," she reminded him, though somehow she doubted he was listening.

Poor Luke. His father's death had hit him hard at the time it happened, she knew, even though it was years before the two of them met. Every year on the anniversary of the day of William Danes' loss, Luke kind of went to a dark place. For years, Lorelai didn't understand why, and now for the first time she had been let into the secret. All she wanted to do was hug him and tell him it was okay. It didn't fix anything, but Lorelai got the urge to do it even now, so she did.

"You're not making the cleaning process easier," he smiled slightly as she clung to his back like an over-sized koala.

"Not trying to," she muttered, words almost entirely lost in the flannel of his shirt. "I'm sorry, Luke," she told him then. "I still feel like such an insensitive jerk, never knowing about your dad, and then just sitting there on an anniversary like that complaining about my parents..."

"Hey, you didn't know," her boyfriend told her, turning to pull her into his arms. "Besides, my father being gone doesn't make your parents saints. Hell, my dad wasn't a saint."

"But he was a good man, he had to be. Look how well you turned out," she smiled up at him, making him smile too.

"Y'know, there are times when Jess looks a certain way or says a certain thing and I see Dad in him too," he sighed. "It's crazy, I mean he looks a little too much like his own father most of the time, and sometimes like Liz, but every now and then, just like the grandpa he never met."

A strange look came over Luke's face then as he seemed to stare off into the distance. Lorelai actually tried to follow his eyeline but could see nothing of interest. That was a daydreamy kind of a look, which Luke almost never wore.

"You okay?" she checked.

Luke shook himself back to reality.

"You were talking about Christmas gifts," he said suddenly. "I may have just had an insane idea, but I think I know what to give Jess and Rory."

"Oh, well, okay," Lorelai nodded. "But first, let me tell you about my idea," she said excitedly, so glad to finally get to tell him all about the plan she had been forming in her head the last few days.

This was going to be the best Christmas ever!

To Be Continued...