Hikaru POV
"YOU WERE WITH HER ALL NIGHT ! YOU FUCKIN' LIER ! .." Kaoru sniffed and moved his tears with his sleeve "I shouldn't have trusted you ..Hikaru you suck..you're making everything worst " I didn't mean to hurt him and it's my personal life he shouldn't get hurt. "you're making a big deal over it ..please calm down " I wanted to hold him but he pushed me away "Kao!" I didn't expect that , he gave me a hurtful look then went and sat on his corner "don't come closer" he said hugging himself. I sighed ..how far am I going to take this before I rage. I took a deep breath and calmed myself.
"Nothing would ever change if you keep running to your corner every time something that you don't like happens" I said to him but he covered his ears "oh boy.." now he wants me to fuck off like everyone else.
I brought a chair and put it beside him but not too close and I sat there for sometime "okay..I am sorry . I will stop seeing her and we'll break up .." I said so, not really meaning it but I hopped that it'd cheer him up
"it's not that.." he said , still not looking at me
"then what's wrong ?" I left the chair and sat beside him "I don't know .." he said staring at his hands
"how can I help ?"
" I don't know"..
"okay wait here , I'll do something and come back to you.." I left the room to the roof and decided to build a blanket nest for him. When we were little kids we used to build them and hide there for hours , it made us feel better and safer. I think it'd help him a little.
I went back to the room and knelt beside him " okay. I made you a nest. Do you want to come?" he hesitated and moved his hair from his eyes "okay.." I gave him my hand. We walked to the roof and he looked at it carefully "get in " I said and he entered while I sat out beside him. After awhile he held my hand "Does that help ?" he nodded and that made me feel good "can I join you?" he went to the side leaving a place for me . we didn't say anything for hours and he slept there. I felt comfortable under the blankets too so I didn't felt like moving. The warmth was tempting so I felt sleepy as well , I brought Kaoru closer to me and slept like that.
Kaoru POV
Do you ever miss yourself? The person you were before you had your first heartbreak or before you got betrayed by a person you trusted?..I do.
"it's just another day " the rain against the window and my cheek against the rain "I'll go to visit Tamaki, are you coming?" said my brother from his place in the red sofa while I touched the water drops with my fingers "to make sure he's still alive?" I asked and he touched my hair "maybe " he brushed his fingers to my hair "Hikaru smells like trees" I whispered that note to myself "do I?" I looked at him and didn't say a thing. I put my shoes on and we walked to Hikaru's car "didn't you visit Tamaki or the others the past year?"he asked
"..no" I actually did , many times and in the last time that happened I got a small tattoo on my arm. I sat on the back seat "so you can have your girlfriend sitting beside you " I said "girlfriend.." and repeated the word to myself " umm yeah..thanks.." he was confused. I opened my doodle book and started sketching while Hikaru drove to the commoners neighborhood "you know , you may have to say hi to her and act normal " he looked at me from the front mirror "mhm" I gave him a glance and drew a line "eh..I thought you'd get mad.." he said wondering "Hikaru .. I am shattered and you were trying to stick me together with glue.." there is no point in trying to fix someone who's completely broken just to try and break them down again. "don't worry dear nothing can break me anymore.." I smiled to him and he looked confused "you don't have to act like you're alone like there's no one that understands you.." he gave me his hand and drove with his other hand and I held it "I am not just some face you used to know , I know all about you and you should know that there's someone that cares about you" I held his hand "you're finding ways to break the bonds but they are stronger than you realize , Kaoru , you can say I haven't tried enough and I've let you down and left you behind but I am here now" and I know it's a lie from the sparkle in his eyes when she entered the car and he doesn't smell like trees when she's with him. "Oh ! Kaoru you are here too! Long time no see how are you?" she asked me , she's speaking to me. I have to answer her and not to embarrass Hikaru. But there's only a blank I can't utter a word with her, I don't want her to look at me "eh, Haruhi , did you get the direction to Tamaki's house?" Hikaru asked her and she took her eyes away from me and I breathed.
the ride was hell to me. I wished we'd just suddenly arrive so I'd go to a corner. I didn't want to hear Hikaru talking to her, I got my headphones out from my backpack and put them on. The words he said to me kept repeating themselves to the music I was listening to " ..like there's no one that understands you.." I whispered to myself " and you should know that someone cares about you" I whispered and they were laughing. I closed on myself and drift into a deep sleep.
Hikaru POV
"I suppose it's that mansion on the top of the hill " Haruhi said and I drove , the street was bad and branches and stones were almost covering it but finally we made it there and the gates were opening to us by the guards. I stopped the car beside the main doors and we went out. I almost forgot that Kaoru was with us in the car , he was too silent and actually asleep. "I'll wake him up , you can enter " I said to Haruhi , she nodded and entered. I opened the backseat door , moved his headphones from his ears and put them aside when I noticed his doodle book on his lap.. it won't bother if I take a look right..
I sat beside my sleeping brother and opened the book. First page said " purity lost in vain " and there were a lot of poker faces. I flipped it to the next page and I saw a doodle of me , it was so well done! when did Kaoru get that expert in drawing! I loved the picture a lot. The next page was another drawing of me with him , the only thing is that my face was well drawn while his face was colored in black and there was a word written on it with a pencil while the drawing was done in ink. I tried to read it , it said " why ?" I noticed that he moved a little so I put the doodle book back beside him "oh I was about to wake you up, we've arrived." I said and he removed his hair from his face , looked around for the doodle book and the headphones and he put them in his backpack and went out of the car, I sighed and followed him inside the house.
It was big and sort of gloomy. "welcome masters Hitachiin , master Tamaki is waiting for you on the living room. We entered the hall where Tamaki was waiting for us, Haruhi was sitting on one of the couches while he was sitting on the other one. His hair grew longer, his blue eyes looked old and sort of dead. "Hello man , how are you doing " I said to him "have a seat..Hikaru " I sat on one of the couches while Kaoru walked to Tamaki and sat beside him on the couch. To my surprise I didn't know what to say , but I didn't think that Kaoru would ever agree to sit beside anybody excluding me! " Hey Kaoru " he said in a weird tone and gave my brother a cigarette. Kaoru accepted it and I shared a questioning look with Haruhi. I saw them smoking in silence untill suddenly,Tamaki's doge , Anttonet, ran into the hall and jumped on Kaoru's lap and licked his face , I stood up to take her off of him but Kaoru stroked her head "good girl " he said to her and she woofed ! I got the feeling that Kaoru was visiting Tamaki before. "so how's everything boss?" I broke the silence " everything is fine Hikaru , everything is fine. "
Neither Tamaki nor Kaoru spoke a word all that night unless they were asked a question. We had dinner together and decided to stay the night in here since the weather was horrible outside.
"hey Kaoru .." I put my arm around his shoulder " stop it " he pushed my arm away "yeah sorry , I'll go sleep , good night ." he's acting weird again. Is it because Haruhi is here? He walked to his room and I saw him shutting the door. "Hikaru, let's go" Haruhi took my hand and we walked to one of the guest rooms.
"what do you think should we do?" I asked Haruhi
"we should do nothing " she answered and sat on the huge bed "this is not our fault "
"what do you mean it's not our fault? " I sat on the sofa beside the bed , taking off my shoes "they are both damaged because of us.. maybe if we kept our relationship a secret from the beginning with.." I took off my jacket and she took it and hung it in the closet room " don't you think it's too late now for this talk? I don't feel guilty. it's my own life and my own choices after all ..you know , it's not our fault if they can't go throw it and man up" she said taking off her blouse "yeah but..Kaoru's depressed and Tamaki's eyes are full of… hatred" I said leading her to bed "how about we stop thinking about others and just be ourselves? I mean look at you , all you've been talking about since we arrived back to Japan is Kaoru and Tamaki! " she was annoyed and I knew that but it was too much for me to concentrate on her now that I now recognized how much damage I left on these two .."well *sigh* good night " she was annoyed and didn't look at me. Hours passed and I couldn't sleep so I put on my shoes and decided to go to Kaoru's room.
The corridor was dark but I could see the light coming from his door. So he's still awake , I guessed right.I walked to the room and knocked it then opened it. He was such a mess "Kaoru.." his hair was messy his eyes were red and tears were running out of them , he was holding a bottle of Champaign and standing on the corner of the room "Hikaru I am crazy..I wanna die.." he said in a broken tone and sniffed. I entered and closed the door behind me "I am sorry …" he apologized "for being a burden ..*sniff* I mean..she must be mad at you now..an-" he stopped mumbling cause I took the bottle and wrapped my arms around his shaking body and we sat on his corner "Kaoru .. you are more important to me " I fondled his back till his breath was normal again. "you should..go back to her.." he said looking to my hands. "Kaoru..you know what ? I am the one who's crazy and it's the only way to save you and Tamaki.." he didn't know what was I talking about but it was the only solution left , I brought the blanket and wrap it around Kaoru "put your shoes on " I went to the room where Haruhi was sleeping peacefully and took out my keys and went back to Kaoru.
I lead him to the garage and entered the car "Hikaru, what are you doing?.." he asked and the garage gate got open
"isn't it obvious? I am leaving her and running away with you " I said to him and he got shocked. I drove out of the gate and out of the house , the weather wasn't helping but I could drive anyway
"you left her with Tamaki.." Kaoru said holding his backpack
"yes , she needs to take some responsibility and have a serious talk with him" I said
"she won't be able to leave the house , it's in the middle of nowhere.." he said
"yup"
"what if she..ermm no forget about it.." he said and shacked his head
"you mean what if they fall for each other again? Well…I don't know what to do then. But what matters to me now is you and only you" I said and he opened his eyes in surprise. he lent to my side and left a kiss on my cheek. "you are weird " he said crossing his hands.
It was raining heavily so I stopped the car on the side of the rood " I can't see my way , I suppose we're going to spend the night in the car. " we fixed the car seats so now we can use them to sleep. It was too dark I couldn't see Kaoru "this reminds me of the old days when we used to hide inside one of the cars in our house and spend the night there" I held his hand and shared the blanket with him " yes Hikaru , and they used to lecture us every time" I laughed to that " and then dad told us about the monster that lives in our garage so we stopped going there "
"yeah that was funny " he laughed too
"finally! ..Kaoru you're laughing again! "
"I am a little bit happy, Hikaru"