Chapter 6
Flashback
A/N: Hello, everyone! Apparently, some of you want me to keep going on this story and convinced me that it really doesn't matter how I depict Rise. It is fanfiction after all. Thank you so much for encouraging me to keep writing it! I owe it to all of you! ;) So, this story is back in action, and please enjoy! ;)
**Rise's POV**
When I was little, my life was truly wonderful. I was a perfectly cheerful and healthy child and got along with my parents very well. I was only 6 at the time. I was always willing to play with them whenever they had the time and they would often take me to exciting places, like amusement parks, aquariums and even the park. I remember this one time where we went to one park with a playground and I insisted on having Mom push me on the swing set. So she did and she actually enjoyed it as much as I did. My father just stood by and watched while smiling. All in all, my family life was perfect.
When I turned 6, and I was still in kindergarden, I used to have fun interacting with the other kids. In fact, there's this one time when I saw a group of kids wanting to play tag and I ran up to them and said, "Hey, can I play, too?"
One girl turned to me and smiled. "Sure! In fact, we needed one more person to play tag with us!"
I jumped up and down in excitement. "Yay! I get to join!"
From then on, the four of us played together every day. We got along very well and became the best of friends. We had played every day during recess and enjoyed ourselves to the fullest.
Yes, I had a happy life the whole year since elementary school. However, at the start of 5th grade, my life was turned upside down.
It all started when I was about 11. Mom and Dad were busy doing some stuff when I came into the room. For some reason, I wasn't feeling very well, mostly from my throat. Something inside was bumpy and I could even feel it in my neck. Mom looked over to notice me walking unusually slow to her.
"Honey," she asked as she picked me up. "What's wrong? Did you choke on something?"
Then, she noticed it. The lump on my neck. Her eyes widened and showed it to Dad.
"Hiroki!" Mom cried. "I think something's wrong with Rise-chan! She can barely speak, plus her neck is swollen for some reason! We need to call the doctor right away!"
My dad nodded as he phones the hospital immediately. Mom looked over at me in worry as she tried to comfort me the best she could. I, however, didn't really know what would happen to me at the moment. For all I know, if this doesn't get treated soon, I could die.
As soon as the ambulance came, I was rushed the hospital and the doctors started a few tests on me. They had examined the lump in the neck and had knew exactly what was wrong. From what I can remember, the doctor had told my parents something that made them tremble.
"Mr. and Mrs. Matsumoto," he said. "I'm afraid that your daughter is suffering from throat cancer."
Mom gasped as she clutched onto her husband. "Wh-what? How is that possible? I thought she was a perfectly healthy child!"
The doctor sighed. "Well, from what we had examined from the lump of the neck, she may had gone near some smokers while walking around. Were you watching her lately?"
Dad shook his head. "No."
I remember now. Out of curiosity, I noticed one of the smokers drop their cigarette in some kind of area where all cigarettes go while Dad and I were outside of a mall, waiting for Mom to come back. I picked it up and took a whiff at it while it was still active and it was a very, very strong and painful smell. And somehow, most of the smoke had caught my throat. I thought I had gotten rid of it once the pain in the throat was gone, but the result of it wasn't really good.
Mom glances at Dad and then at the doctor. "Is there anything you can do to save Rise-chan!?"
"There is one way," the doctor says. "Ms. Matsumoto needs to have surgery or else the condition will worsen, causing death to your daughter."
Mom grabbed onto Dad's shirt in plea. "Hiroki, we have to do this! For our Rise-chan!"
Dad nodded. "You're right, Natsumi. Rise has to be cured. Can you do this, doctor?"
"We'll do whatever we can," the doctor said. "You just have to sign these papers to confirm an agreement. We'll begin the process tomorrow morning."
Mom nodded as tears were falling from her eyes. I couldn't bare to see her sad like this, so all I could do is hug her in comfort. Mom hugged me back, sobbing, fearing that if the surgery didn't go well, I could lose my life. I didn't want to die either. I had so much more that I could do right now that I haven't done yet. Dad soon joined in the hug, comforting all of us. We wanted everyone to know that everything is gonna be fine once I get the surgery. Then, our lives will be back to normal.
Later that night, I had a hard time sleeping. What if the surgery didn't go well? Will I die anyway? What would happen to my throat once it's done? Those questions float around in my head like ghosts wandering around and never stopping. Fear had kept me awake for most of the night.
Finally, the day of the surgery had arrived. My parents drove me to the hospital first thing in the morning, and followed the doctor to the surgery room and set me on a tall chair. After the doctor told them a bit of information on what they were gonna do, Mom and Dad step closer to me. Mom was mostly crying because of her fear of losing me.
"I love you, Rise-chan," she sobbed as she gives me a hug. "Please, be strong and you'll get through the surgery in no time. I promise."
"And once we're done with all that," Dad said. "We'll all have a celebration on your success on your surgery, if that's possible."
I just nodded as I hugged them back, hoping for the best. And then, after our last few moments together, the doctors asked them to leave and more doctors came in the room as they left. I felt a sting on my arm, supposing that they're injecting me with Anastasia. I felt a sharp pain in my head as I rested my head back on the chair, felt my eyes close until everything goes black.
It felt like I was in a dream. I was floating in some unusual dimension, like I was in space or something. But the thing is, all I could see is reddish purple. Now, why is that? I was still floating in the air when something caught my eye. A white light. It seemed be miles away from where I was. Curious, I began to see some ground as I landed on it and began to run towards the white light. But as I ran, it seemed as though I wasn't getting any closer to it. It was farther away than earlier. I ran faster and faster to get closer to my target, but I wasn't getting anywhere. The light remained in the same place.
However, after a while, the light seemed to get closer this time. My mouth formed into a smile as I gained some speed at running towards it. And the white light began to get brighter the closer I got. I felt like I was getting somewhere and a bit curious to know what's behind that white light. Suddenly, when it felt like I was gonna make it, I felt something quick just jab my throat. I stumbled backwards until I fell on my back. I slowly used all of my strength to raise my hand to touch my neck and when I took a look at it, I saw something that I didn't want to see: blood. As soon as I saw it, more of it came out of the light, which was now red. In fact, everything turned red again and I was completely drowning in it, making it impossible for me to breathe. I struggled and struggled to hold my breathe, but I had lost the ability to do that once I felt the need to let it out. And then, everything goes black again as I heard some tiny voices around me.
"No. What have we done?"
"It's too late. There's nothing we can do at this point."
As soon as the surgery was done, I was carried back to my parents, who were waiting anxiously for my arrival. Mom was the first to stand up and run up to us.
"How is she!?" she asked. "Did it go well? Will my baby be okay!?"
The doctor's expression made Mom gasp as he hangs his head low.
"Huh?" Mom said as she turned to me. "Rise, are you okay!?"
I opened my mouth to speak. But, I heard nothing but a quiet whisper in my voice. Huh? I tried to speak again, but it came out as a whisper again. Wh-what's happening to me?
"Mrs. Matsumoto . . . Miss Rise went through the surgery successfully . . . after a few minor errors."
"Errors?" Dad asked. "What do you mean?"
"Somehow, one of the needles struck Miss Rise's vocal cords too hard, causing it to bleed and we had to do something to cover it up," the doctor explained. "Fortunately, we covered most of it and went through the rest of the surgery. But . . . the result of this minor error caused her inability to speak."
Mom gasps again as tears start to form, cupping her hands on her mouth in the process. "No! My Rise-chan!"
"She . . . can't speak?" Dad asked, feeling that he might have heard wrong. "Are you sure?"
The doctor nodded. "Miss Rise might never speak again due to this. She can only speak in soft, quiet whispers."
"ISN'T THERE ANYTHING YOU CAN DO!?" Mom shouted as she comes closer to the doctor, feeling the need to grab him by the shirt. "PLEASE! WE CAN'T LIVE A LIFE WITH OUR RISE-CHAN NOT SPEAKING!"
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Matsumoto," the doctor said sadly. "But I'm afraid . . . it's the truth. Miss Rise has to live the rest of her life in this condition, even if you two tried to cure her."
My eyes widened at the sudden news. So . . . my vocal cords were damaged, causing me to never speak again? I can only speak in quiet whispers? This was the most depressing news I had ever heard in my life.
"Rise-chan!" Mom sobbed as she buried her head in her hands as Dad tried to comfort her, but failed.
Tears formed in my eyes as well. How am I supposed to live a life without a voice, or barely even having the ability to speak except for soft whispers? When it's all over, the three of us headed home, not saying anything the whole ride back.
As soon as we got home, all Mom and Dad could do was go up to their room with me standing there, helpless. Once the door closes, I heard something that I didn't want to hear at all.
"WHY!? WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO RISE-CHAN!?" I heard Mom shout.
"Honey, will you please calm down," Dad said.
"CALM DOWN!?" Mom shouted. "CALM DOWN!? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING LEAVING RISE-CHAN ALONE LIKE THAT AND GETTING INTO THE CIGARETTES!? SHE WOULDN'T HAVE SUFFERED LIKE THIS IF YOU HAD KEPT WATCH ON HER!"
"Look, Natsumi, I'm sorry I didn't watch her properly!" Dad tried to reason with her.
"YEAH, YOU'RE SORRY ALRIGHT!" Mom shouted. "IT'S MORE LIKE YOU DIDN'T EVEN CARE ABOUT OUR DAUGHTER AT ALL!"
As Mom and Dad continue to argue, I sit there, having tears in my eyes. The happy family I once had, was broken apart like glass. I can't do anything to make my family happy again, or even myself. My life was also shattered and can never be put together again.
School was even harder. Ever since that incident, everyone had a hard time understanding me, especially my friends from recess. All I got was the same thing: "I'm sorry. I can't hear you." The teacher was even difficult to communicate and had to call my parents. They had explained my condition to her as soon as Mom got the call. The teacher had suggested that I should write everything down to communicate better. I had thought that would've solved things by now. However, not everyone was willing to accept it. Some of the other 5th graders started to make fun of my condition and say that me writing down everything is just stupid and that I should just remain the quiet girl that I am right now. However, despite all that, I never stopped.
My life at home was now a wreck since I'm in that condition. All we could do is sit in silence. Mom was taking it the hardest since she had loved me so much and couldn't believe she had to live a life with a silent daughter for the rest of her life. Dad felt bad as well, feeling very guilty that he could've watched over me more frequently. As the days went by, none of us were speaking to each other because I wasn't speaking. Usually, I was full of energy and been able to talk to them whenever I wanted, but now that I was in this condition, nothing like that was happening anymore. Even if I wrote down everything that I wanted to say in front of my parents, it didn't change anything. They had really missed hearing my cute sounding voice that I used to have that was severely damaged during the surgery. There was nothing we could do about it.
At first, I thought my parents would get used to it by now, but apparently, I was wrong.
It all started after I had turned 12. It was in the middle of summer vacation and I don't start middle school in a couple of months, though my parents had never registered me to one since I was in this condition now. Things never changed as the year went by. Mom remained feeling depressed while Dad was trying to busy himself with loads and loads amount of paperwork to keep his mind off the guilt that's been haunting him for a while. I, on the other hand, was still trying my hardest to keep my family happy, even though it was impossible. For the whole year, Mom was teaching me how to cook, clean and do my own laundry and I had learned quickly, however, as it went on, Mom started to teach me more complicated stuff. She had taught me how to shop on my own, pay the bills and so on. Now, I really had no idea why she wanted me to do all those things at this age, but Mom would never tell me why. She just told me that just to be prepared when I'm older.
And then . . . it was almost like everything was happening so fast. One afternoon, both of my parents told me that they are going to run errands for a bit and I just nodded my head in understanding. But for some reason, I could see some sadness in their faces and . . . regret? Mom came over to me and gave me the longest hug I had ever gotten.
"We love you, Rise-chan," she said, now close to sobbing. "I just want you to know that despite you having this condition, we love you anyway. Things have gotten a little out of hand since that day, but we're used to it now, right, Hiroki?"
"Yes," Dad said. "And you're growing up to be a big girl now and learning some important responsibilities from your mother. So here's our advice . . . when the phone rings, answer it just like your mother taught you. It might be something really important for you while we're gone. After you've taken the message, be sure to text us."
Mom nodded as she stood up to wipe her tears. "We'll get your message. You don't have to worry about a thing."
I just stood there, staring at them. I whispered something to them, realizing that I had forgotten my notebook and pen. Mom sniffles as she just shakes her head.
"I'm sorry, Rise-chan," she said. "We could've had the courage to help you get better and we had done everything. But . . . I think it's better that all of us just accepted it."
Dad looked at his watch. "Come on, honey. The traffic is gonna get bad if we don't hurry."
Mom nodded as she gave me one last hug. "Good-bye, Rise-chan. We love you very much. Never forget that, okay?"
I nodded as I hugged her back, not wanting to let go. After about a minute, Mom and Dad leave. I just stood there, staring at the door as I heard the car start and drive away. For a while, I was left wondering why they would say these things. They were just leaving for errands, right? I looked around the house and felt the need to clean for a bit, even though I had done most of it last night.
After about an hour and a half, I had done the rest of Mom's laundry, dusted some shelves and desks and washed the rest of the dishes from breakfast and lunch. Then, feeling very accomplished, I sat on the couch and turned on the TV to Dad's favorite news channel to see what's going on, weather wise. However, they didn't show the weather, but a news flash at some car accident. The camera from the helicopter's view, zoomed in on a familiar red car that had crashed into a building for some reason.
"We're just at the sight where the crash was located," a woman reporter was saying. "Witnesses say that a man and a woman were driving on the road when all of a sudden, they had increased speed and turned towards this building right here. Now, none of us are not quite sure how or why this happened, but . . ."
Now the camera was focusing on the wrecked car and I see one hand sticking out of the driver's seat, now lifeless and bloody.
"Now police had gotten a hold of their license and their names are . . ." My eyes widened as soon as the two pictures came up. "Natsumi and Hiroki Matsumoto. Considering this major impact on this car, there is one possibility: could it be suicide?"
I gasped as I think back to what they had said to me earlier.
"I just want you to know that despite you having this condition, we love you anyway."
"You're growing up to be a big girl now and learning some important responsibilities from your mother."
"I think it's better that all of us just accepted it."
"Good-bye, Rise-chan. We love you very much. Never forget that, okay?"
I felt my eyes start to water as I realized what they had done. They couldn't handle this depression anymore, nor could accept the fact that they are living with a quiet girl that no longer has the ablility to speak. So, their only choice was to end their lives . . . for my sake. But . . . why? Why would they want to commit suicide just for me!? I didn't want to live like this either! It was really hard for me to accept it as well, even though I tried to. But now, Mom and Dad were gone, leaving me completely alone in the world . . . with no one to turn to.
A week later, I had attended Mom and Dad's funeral. I received a phone call about their suicide after hearing about it on the news and I just whispered a "Thanks". It was very cloudy outside, plus some rain began pouring down, so I had an umbrella with me when I got there. Looking at both Mom and Dad's grave, I felt the need to cry again. I still couldn't believe that they would even do this for my sake when I couldn't even accept my condition. Still, they had loved me no matter what condition I was. I still remembered that before they left.
It was about an hour when the funeral was over and I just remained standing there, staring at their graves, feeling the need to be with them just a bit longer. Then, all of a sudden, I felt a gentle hand touch my shoulder, making me startle a bit. I looked up to notice a young woman with shoulder length blonde hair with a side bang covering her right eye. Her expression seemed gentle and reassuring as I stared at this young woman.
"It must have been hard for you, isn't it?" she said.
I nodded.
"Well, since you have no place to go, do you want to come to my place? It's quite warm there."
I gasped as I was trying to take in what this woman was saying. However, I realized that we're both strangers to each other, so without thinking, I whispered to her.
"Oh? Hey, now. Don't be afraid. We're starting to get to know each other, you know?"
I gasped again. Did she just . . . understand what I was saying? To test it out, I whispered to her again.
"Of course I can understand you," the young woman said. "How? Well, it's hard to explain really. Maybe it's that I have a special hearing ability to hear even the most softest whispers, or I must have tried really hard to understand your mouth movement."
As I stared at this woman, I felt myself blush. But why am I blushing? Was it because of her awesome beauty? Or maybe it's because there was someone like her who was able to understand what I was saying for the first time? I whispered for her name.
"My name is Nana. Nana Nishigaki," the young woman said. "And you are?"
I whispered again.
"Rise Matsumoto? What a nice name. Well then, Matsumoto, why don't you come with me to my apartment to spend the night?"
I nodded as both of us got in her car and drove for about a half an hour to our destination. Then, we went up to the fourth floor to her room about 6 doors away from the elevator. After unlocking the door, Miss Nishigaki let me into her room and closesdthe door. She prepared some tea for the both of us and we sat down on the couch next to each other in silence for about a minute. This whole time, I was feeling very uncomfortable because I'm spending the night with someone whome I just met. I shyly whispered to her while looking down at the floor.
"Oh, I'm sorry if I'm causing any trouble. I just thought maybe if you had nowhere to go, I might as well help you out."
I whispered to her again.
"You sure? Well then, I'm glad that you're very grateful. Now then, can you tell a little about yourself? What had caused you to talk like this?"
Even though it's very hard to talk about it, I knew that she wanted to know the truth, so after taking a few deep breathes, I told her the whole story. As I was telling it, I could tell that Miss Nishigaki was understanding every bit of it, making me blush even more. I couldn't believe that she would even understand my miserable life. And that really made me happy. Once I finished, I felt some tears starting to form in my eyes.
"Oh, my," Miss Nishigaki said. "That really must have been hard for you and your parents. No wonder they wanted to commit suicide."
I nodded as I tried to wipe the tears that were trying to come out. I didn't want to cry anymore, but thinking about it was just too much. I had missed my parents so much. And I really hate my life right now and living with this condition was like torture. However, Miss Nishigaki didn't think so.
"Matsumoto, don't make the same mistake your parents did," she said in a serious tone. "They really did accept your condition in the end. They were depressed for way too long and couldn't live like this forever. The reason why they wanted you to live because you might find something that will change your life forever. And hey, I found you and offered you to spend the night at my apartment. That's a good start to a new life."
I nodded as I whispered to her.
"I'm glad you understand. Your parents loved you for who you are now after all. And they had told you to never forget it." In an instant, I felt her arms wrap around me. "So, please, Matsumoto. Keep on living and I'll help you get through any problems that you might have."
Finally, I couldn't hold it any,ore and let out my soft sobs into her shirt. I was really happy and grateful that Miss Nishigaki was there for me when I was sad. No one had ever done that for me ever since I was in this condition. After a long tender moment, I pulled away and whispered a "thanks" to her.
"You're very welcome," she said. "Oh. You can call me Nana from now on. We're friends' right? And . . . I'm now your guardian. What do you say?"
I nodded many times as I whispered to her.
"Then, it's decided," she said.
From then on, my new life had gotten better and better. First off, Nana helped me attend an all-girls' middle school called Nanamori, purchase my uniform and guide me through the school. Nana had applied as a teacher there as well. Then, a few weeks later, Nana wanted me to attend the student council because it might work well for me. However, I felt uncomfortable because I was wondering how people would nominate me if I was in this condition. Nana told me not to worry and she'll help me a little bit. And then, as if it was a miracle, I got nominated as student council president. I had asked Nana how this was possible, and she told me that it must have been that cute appearance of mine and an amazing teacher I have. I wasn't really sure if that was the reason, or if she had just manipulated some people.
Since joining the student council, I got to meet some new friends: Ayano-chan, Chitose-chan, Himawari-chan and Sakurako-chan. They were all happy that I got to be student council president and I even got a warm welcome. These few weeks of school had been the best part in my life. And I have Nana to thank for that.
That afternoon, Nana and I were at the park on a small hill, having some smoothies from the mall we went to earlier. Looking at the sunset, I glanced at my new teacher and then back at the beautiful orange sky and whisper.
"Yes," Nana said. "Sunsets are always pretty, isn't it?"
Both of us sat down and scooted closer to each other up to the point where we touched our shoulders. Nana smiled as I rested my head on her shoulder. Nothing could've been a better day than having it with my new teacher. I felt myself blush even harder than before. What are those feelings anyway? Why was I feeling this way?
"You know," Nana started. "I'm really glad you're even here. If you were to take your own life like your parents did, you would've missed on what happened a few weeks ago. Look, you were even nominated as student council president and made some new friends."
I nodded in agreement as I whisper to her.
"Yes. You wished your parents were still here to see this. But you know what? I think they were also trying to send you some kind of message."
I lifted my head up and whispered to her in question.
"Well, you may have this condition, but they still accepted it. They must be trying to have you figure out how to communicate better to the world, even if you are unable to do other things like calling on the phone or shouting for help." She took my hand and placed it gently on her chest to where her heart is. " People may not understand you as well as I do, but if you speak with your heart, your words might reach out to them. Maybe then, they'll understand what you're saying."
I repeated in whisper.
"Yes," Nana said with a smile. "Always speak with your heart. I'm really not an expert on this, but if it works, then your words will reach out to people. Remember that, Matsumoto."
It was then that a small smile crept on my face and gave her a tight hug. Nana, there was no one like you who would say those things to me. Nana returned the hug as she stroked my hair gently. None of us wanted to let go as I felt myself blush again. Now I realized why I'm having those feelings. Whenever I'm around Nana, these feelings start again. And that's when I realized: I'm in love with Nana Nishigaki. In fact, I accidentally whispered that since I was getting into the tender moment.
"You . . . love me?" Nana asked, shocked that I said that to her.
I blushed as I nodded as whispered again.
"Matsumoto . . . I . . . I don't know what to say." It was so surprising to her that she was left speechless. How could a student like me love a teacher like Nana? However, the shock soon went away as she smiled. "Well then, shall I return the favor and say that I had feelings for you, too?"
I gasped softly and whispered.
"Heh, I guess when we spent our time at the apartment," Nana explained. "I don't know why, but I suddenly had some feelings for you. I wasn't really sure if a teacher could love a student, so I kept my feelings hidden this whole time."
I whispered my confession as well.
"You kept your feelings hidden, too? Well, I guess we're both the same then."
I whispered to her again as I looked down at the ground.
"Eh? You want to keep this a secret?"
I nodded.
"Hmm . . . You know what? That just might work. But for now, let's spend every last moment together."
I nodded again as I whispered to her while starting to lean in closer to her.
"And I'll never leave your side either, Matsumoto."
And with that, both of us touched lips, making it a complete kiss. That was something that I would never ever forget. My first love was with Nana. I had loved her very much as she loved me. And so . . . from that day forward, our start of our relationship begun with a simple secret. And . . . my feelings for her never changed, even when I turned 14.
So this was my life of being the quiet girl I am today and my love for Nana will and forever be mine.
A/N: Whew! That was the longest chapter I have ever written! I don't even know if I got any of this right, but let me know, okay? Anyway, thanks again for encouraging me to get back into the story. But still, with the third season of Yuru Yuri coming out, I'm afraid that they'll put in something about Rise, but who knows? So, the next chapter goes back to the present day. What will Rise have in store for her as she tries to keep her relationship a secret?
Feel free to give out any suggestions, questions or concerns and don't forget to review! ;)