A/N: I know my cliffhangers are a little mean, but dear readers, they keep you coming back, right? ;) Thanks for sticking with me thus far. Just a half dozen chapters to go now, maybe even less!

(For disclaimer, etc. - see prologue)

Chapter 41

Rory didn't know what to think when she opened the apartment door and found Dean there. They really hadn't talked at all since she returned to Stars Hollow with Jess and announced she was pregnant by him. There was a screaming match in the street that one time when Dean had suggested the baby might be his own. That had ended with Jess telling Rory's ex a few home truths and popping him in the mouth for good measure. Since then, Rory sort of assumed Dean was avoiding her, and certainly if she saw him she crossed the street because it just seemed easier that way. Now here he was, in her home, the one she shared with Jess. The last time they had been alone together, Rory and Dean were lying in the glow of making love for the first and only time. Only later when she shared a bed with Jess did Rory realise quite how wrong she had been in allowing Dean to be her first. Now it was just a strange distorted memory, almost like she dreamt it all and it never really happened. She really wished it hadn't.

Dean just looked as if he wished he were anywhere but here right now, which was strange since he was the one who chose to come over. Rory certainly wouldn't have invited him, but when he showed up on the doorstep wanting to talk, she didn't really see what harm it could do. Strangely, he had yet to say a word since he sat down in the armchair opposite her spot on the couch. Rory checked her watch and sighed.

"I don't mean to hurry you, Dean," she told him. "But you said you came here to talk and my mom is going to be here in the next twenty minutes or so. I'm not saying I'm worried about explaining why you're here, but I don't even know the reason yet," she pointed out.

Dean's fingers laced together and unlaced again a moment later as he sat there still, his elbows on his knees. He was barely looking at Rory at all, more focused on the carpet or the far wall, but he certainly wasn't talking. Another long minute, a pause that Rory felt compelled to pierce with more words when suddenly Dean pushed his hair back off his face with his whole hand and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Rory," he told her then.

"Sorry you came here?" she checked, a little confused by the sudden apology that she really wasn't expecting.

"No, well, yeah, but... well, I'm sorry for a lot of things actually," he tried to explain and seemed to feel miserably every time he tried. "That day when we... when we were together..." he said awkwardly.

"Yeah, I think we're both sorry about that," she shifted in her seat, hand going absently to her pregnant belly.

Dean saw the movement and shook his head.

"It seems so crazy. You're gonna be a mom," he smiled slightly.

Rory smiled too, much more genuinely than her ex could manage.

"Yeah, in three weeks or so," she nodded. "Trust me, it still seems a little crazy to me too, but I'm happy," she assured him. "This is nothing like the plan I had for my life but honestly, I really am so happy now."

"That's good," Dean nodded. "Y'know, Rory, I always wanted to be the one to make you happy. I know it's not cool for guys to think about the future and stuff, not when they're still in high school. I mean, my friends were all for dating as many girls as they could just for... well, you know what for," he cleared his throat. "But I had you and I loved you. I thought we were forever..."

"Dean..." Rory shook her head, feeling so very awkward.

"It's okay, I'm not saying I think that now," he assured her. "I... I don't even want to anymore. I mean, I did, even after... You and Jess, me and Lindsay, I don't know what it was, I just... I couldn't let go. Losing you the way I did, and I know it wasn't all your fault..."

"It was a lot my fault," she told him easily. "Dean, I didn't treat you right. At the very least, when I first realised I had feelings for Jess, I should've told you. I should've had the decency to let you know it was over instead of leaving you dangling the way I did."

"Agreed," he nodded. "But honestly, Rory? I know I wasn't treating you the way I should either. I guess I got kinda jealous, even before Jess. I can only apologise and blame it on the teenage hormones?" he smiled slightly. "I don't even know anymore."

"It was a long time ago," Rory shrugged. "Forget it."

"Maybe we can forget way back when in high school, but last Summer..."

"Also a long time ago," she told him firmly. "At least it feels that way, doesn't it?"

Dean seemed to consider her words a long time before he could answer.

"I guess it does, yeah," he admitted. "You know, when you left, I told myself I had to get over you. You obviously regretted what happened to leave that way, and then when you came back with him... with Jess," he said, trying to be more reasonable in the circumstances. "I just... It took me back to before, the last time you left me for him. I felt all that jealousy come rushing back, but it was stupid, because I'm married to Lindsay now."

"And she deserves better, Dean," said Rory firmly. "She's your wife and she loves you. If you stay with her but go looking elsewhere for love, then you're only doing to Lindsay what I did to you. You're not that guy, Dean. At least, you shouldn't be."

He knew she was right. She could see in his face the guilt for doing exactly what she described. Lindsay did deserve better. She deserved a loving and committed relationship, or nothing at all, a clean break so she could start over with someone else.

"I told her what happened with us," he admitted then. "About the day we slept together."

Rory's eyes widened a little at that. She really wasn't expecting Dean to say it, had no idea why he would have made such a confession, and yet she was oddly proud of him for doing so.

"Um, when did you...? What did you say?" she asked, not sure what she wanted to know first.

Dean smiled.

"It was a while ago, when you first came back," he explained. "She was weirdly okay about it. I knew she should be mad, she ought to have thrown me out... or thrown things at my head," he smirked a little. "But she was just disappointed in me, I guess. I hated that."

"But you're still together," said Rory encouragingly. "That's good, right?"

"I think so," he nodded his agreement. "Some days it feels good and real, y'know? Like I made the right choice marrying Lindsay and she really can make me happy. Other times... I don't know, I'm not so sure."

He looked so sad that Rory actually felt sorry for him. She hadn't expected that, not now, not after everything. She knew Dean hadn't been treating Lindsay all that well from the get go, but she just seemed to take it, and so the vicious cycle went on. It ought to be fixed or end, in her opinion, but it wasn't really her place to say, at least she didn't think so. Rory bit her lip thinking about it. Dean mistook her expression for pain.

"Are you okay?" he checked. "I mean, I heard what happened at your grandparents' ceremony. It was all over town within an hour."

"The beauty of Stars Hollow," Rory rolled her eyes and giggled. "I'm fine. I just have to stress less, so I'm pretty much confined to the apartment, and someone is here to watch over me all the time," she frowned then checking her watch. "And my mom is going to be here any second for her turn."

"Then I should go," Dean nodded, standing up fast.

Rory struggled to get up herself, and he automatically moved to help her. It felt a little weird to Rory to have his hands on her body after so long, and it sure wasn't as comforting as it had been years ago. No exciting tingles, no warm feelings inside. All of that only happened with Jess, and this was just Dean, he didn't mean that much anymore.

"Thanks," she smiled up at him. "For the help, and the apology. All of it, I guess."

"You're welcome, I guess," he smiled then, looking like the boy Rory used to daydream about and yet not enough to have any effect on her anymore. "Um, thanks for letting me in, listening to me ramble on..."

"Hey, you're talking to the Queen of the Ramblers here, or at the very least the heir apparent," she considered, thinking quite obviously of Lorelai. "I never wanted us to be enemies, Dean, you know that."

"I know," he agreed. "But I don't think your fiancé is much going to like us being friends either," he said as they walked to the door.

"Maybe not," Rory considered. "Although, Jess has kind of mellowed in some ways... but maybe not that much," she laughed lightly as she opened the door to let Dean out.

From the hallway he looked back and smiled at the girl he used to love, grown up into a woman with a life he no longer had a place in, and he knew it too well.

"Take care of yourself, Rory," he told her.

"You too, Dean," she replied in kind and then he was gone.

Rory closed the door and turned around, contemplating if she should make another trip to the bathroom before returning to the couch. Getting up and down wasn't so much fun and this way she would eliminate one more struggle from the day. On the other hand, she didn't really want to be otherwise engaged when her mom arrived. The decision was made for her when a knock had her turning around again and opening up the door to reveal a harried looking Lorelai.

"Hey, Mommy's here!" she declared with a grin, moving to hug her daughter.

Rory hugged her back with a genuine smile on her face, and tears in her eyes that she couldn't quite explain.

When Jess got home from his shift at WalMart he wasn't surprised to find Lorelai and Rory in fits of giggles on the couch, empty candy wrappers and potato chip bags on the coffee table, and Rory's toes painted ten different colours.

"Hey, the Boy Wonder returns!" said Lorelai with a chuckle.

"I don't even wanna know, do I?" Jess shook his head but smirked all the same as he closed the door behind himself.

"I told you, Jess would so be a superhero and not a sidekick!" Rory said definitely.

Lorelai put on a squeaky girly voice, her hand over her heart in over-dramatics.

"My fiancé is so dreamy. He's my Superman!"

"Aw, geez!" Jess groaned and made a hasty exit to the bedroom, whilst the Gilmore girls continued to laugh like drains.

"Have to stop now!" said Rory breathlessly. "Seriously, Mom, it kinda hurts," she complained, though the giggles wouldn't stop coming, bringing tears to her eyes.

"Aaaw, I'm sorry, babe," Lorelai apologised. "I guess we had a little too much fun for you two to handle," she said, rubbing the bump under which the baby lived. "Not long now, huh?"

"Nope," said Rory with a sigh. "I don't know whether I'm excited or nervous or both. Probably both."

"Sounds right," her mother agreed. "Oh, sweets, I can't believe this. I know I've had months to get used it already, but my kid is having a kid of her own. It's so crazy!"

"Tell me about it."

"I know this wasn't the plan we had, but I am so incredibly proud of you. You know that, right?"

"You're proud of me for getting pregnant at nineteen?"

"Well, the timing could've been better, but hey, not exactly the person to judge," said Lorelai with a knowing look as she pointed to herself. "But look at how you're coping with everything, you and Jess working together, making it happen. I'm so proud of how grown up you are, both of you, and I'm incredibly happy for you too."

"Thanks, Mom," Rory said softly, tears running down from her eyes.

"You're welcome, babe," Lorelai smiled as she got up from the couch and came over to plant a kiss on Rory's forehead. "Now, I gotta go. Jess?" she called through to the bedroom. "Tag, you're it!"

"Thanks, Lorelai," he said as he emerged from the bedroom, finishing the buttons on a clean shirt. "Er, can you let Luke know I'll be over to start on the books tomorrow morning?"

"Sure thing, kid," she agreed and then with one last wave, she left.

Jess moved to join Rory on the couch, flopping down into the cushions with a sigh.

"Long shift? asked Rory.

"Crappy shift," he corrected. "But whatever. Hopefully once we figure out all the financial stuff with the diner I won't need to work two jobs anymore. That's one of the things I need to talk over with Luke tomorrow."

"No more crappy forklift job would be good," said Rory with a nod as she shifted to sit closer to her fiance, his arm going automatically around her shoulders to hold her close. "Awkward shifts just mess up your sleep pattern and make you Mr Grumpy Pants."

"Hey, five minutes ago I was Superman," he reminded her. "Or at the very least Robin."

Rory giggled and looked up at him.

"I'm not sure you'd look all that great in a cape."

"The Superboy act was more your ex's style," he shrugged, immediately regretting bringing up Dean at all when he saw Rory's expression darken. "Sorry," he muttered quickly.

"It's fine," she said softly, looking away.

Now was the perfect opportunity to tell Jess that Dean had been over to the apartment today. She wanted to, at least a part of her did. Withholding the truth was the equivalent of telling a lie, and Rory didn't want that, she didn't want what she and Jess had now to be sullied that way. Still, telling a tired, stressed-out person that your ex came over to talk today, an ex he really, really didn't like, that seemed like relationship suicide.

"Rory?" Jess checked when she went so quiet on him all of a sudden.

"I, er... I saw Dean today," she forced out. "He came over to visit."

"When Lorelai was here?" asked Jess with a frown.

"No, before she got here. Right after you left," she confirmed.

Now that she thought on it, Rory could only assume Dean had been waiting out front for Jess to leave and then come in. He couldn't really have known that Lorelai would be late, but he sure seemed to have planned his avoidance of Jess, which made sense. It was kind of sneaky though.

"Are you mad?" asked Rory.

Jess shrugged his shoulders.

"Why would I be mad?" he asked, though his expression proved he wasn't amused in any case. "You didn't invite him here, right?"

"Of course not," she sighed. "He just showed up. He wanted to talk, to apologise mostly, for how things went with us," she explained. "Then he got to talking about Lindsay. I told him he should treat her better, but he seemed to know that. I think they're still having problems. Anyway, I'm telling you this so you don't find out later and end up getting mad because it was kept from you. I don't keep things from you, Jess, any more than you keep things from me."

That made him wince. Not that he had any secret girlfriends or illicit liaisons he was keeping under wraps or anything, but Jess hadn't been entirely honest with Rory about his worries over the baby and her, his concerns that he might yet prove to be rather too much like Jimmy. Bringing that up now seemed pointless, though something told him if Rory was on an honesty kick, maybe he should be too. He leaned down to kiss her lips, then pushed her hair back over her ear with a smile.

"Thanks for telling me," he said softly. "Y'know, I... I'm not the world's best at sharing myself, but lately I just... I kinda had this stupid thing going on where I was feeling a little freaked out about the whole baby/future life thing, and I want you to know, Rory, that I am not going anywhere. I swear to God, I meant what I said before, about being here for you and for the baby, no matter what. It just bothers me sometimes, when I think about Jimmy and... and how he left. I thought if he was capable of that, maybe I am too, but honestly? The idea of leaving you scares me way more than facing whatever life can throw at us together."

Rory couldn't say anything to that. It meant so much to her that Jess would share his fears. Usually he professed not to have any at all, and though she knew he must do, he wasn't much for admitting such things. Confessing all this to her now, it just proved how truly committed he was, way more than the actual words he was saying.

"I love you, Jess Mariano," she told him when she eventually found her voice, pulling him close for a good long kiss.

As tough as things seemed sometimes, Rory knew they really were going to be okay.

To Be Continued...