A/N: Sorry about the hiatus, had three special projects that are just insane... Grr!
Also, just a head's up. I will very likely be posting nothing at all for the entire month of October and possibly the first week of November. After that it'll be back to regular schedule.
On we go!
Melara's head was spinning as she made the walk across the field from Goruba's silent megalithic form, back to the prefabs that housed the other anchor. Everything seemed to have narrowed and quieted to a dull roar of nothingness both in her head and her chest, the world slowly rotating as if a whirlpool had formed in her consciousness, swallowing up all emotion.
Vina had gone to search Athena's body to see what, if anything, could be discovered. Melara realized dully that she was going to have to inform Eír and the Wolf what Athena had done, and that their only child was dead.
Despite what she'd felt about Athena in life, the knowledge of her death brought no closure, no satisfaction. It was as if all sense of feeling had been wiped out of her.
Liara might be dead. Bethayla was dead, killed trying to save Mel- swatted aside as if she were nothing more than an insect.
Even centuries dust and ash, Osco is still managing to destroy lives.
A megaweapon was on its way into their galaxy right now, and in just a few short days it would destroy everything- everything her parents had fought and bled for-if they could not do the impossible and find an answer to it.
With all of that to feel, it was little wonder Melara's very heart had retreated from emotion altogether.
As she neared the prefab she saw Ashley striding her way, the look on her face grim. Mel drew to a halt as they reached each other, her voice almost disinterested as she spoke. "Report?"
"They're doing surgery on your mother right now," Ashley said, jabbing a thumb toward the prefab. Near the door a knot had gathered. Mel could see Sam there, looking as if she had been gut-punched.
"In the prefab?"
"Your niece ordered it. Didn't want to move her another inch, apparently," Ash said. "One of the medics passed on that your sister is doing some kind of a life-support thingy…?"
Mel accepted that news with a dull flutter of her eyelashes. Irie too now. If Mama dies Irie will go with her…
For a moment, she considered that good news. Better both Liara and Irie go now to be reunited with Shepard-or even black oblivion-than to live to see the last days, the end of all.
Even in her weary apathy, however, she gave that thought no more than a bare moment's entertaining. Somehow, they were going to survive this. Somehow, they were going to win. Melara didn't have the foggiest idea how, but she knew that they were going to fight- all of them-until the last breath left their lungs.
Touching Ashley's arm, Melara stepped past her and continued on. As she reached the knot outside the prefab and got to Sam's side, she gently touched her shoulder. Sam looked at her, clearly struggling to hold her emotion. Something in the way Mel looked at her shattered that struggle, and she sucked in a sob, covering her mouth.
Melara hugged her tightly. "Mama isn't going to give up," she said to her. "She's not leaving us like this. Not now."
"I wish I could take it back," Sam said miserably. "I wish I could fix this, make it all right again."
"You did nothing that needs taking back," Melara said. "As for fixing this…so do I. So do I."
Daenys appeared soon thereafter, in fresh clothes. Mel still had blood smeared all over her but was paying it no mind, pacing about outside the prefab whilst simultaneously holding nearly four conversations at once over her omni-tool. As Dae approached, she paused and embraced Sam, whispering softly to her a moment, before coming over to Melara's side.
"Mel…"
"We have less than two hours now before we need to put in our communication to Spectre T'Soni," Mel was saying to EDI via her omni-tool. "Provided she's informed Dr. Shepard about our situation that data packet needs to be ready to go."
{The packet will be prepared in time,} EDI replied calmly. {However, it will likely take Dr. Shepard –and whatever experts they have assembled- days to go over the information. If Ashley can be surrendered, Goruba has adequate power to continue searching through the alternate volumes with my and Pio's aid. We have identified her home volume, however, we can still look for volumes that may have other experts in the field of biotics and dark energy who may also be of help.}
"Any additional experts we find will also take days to get up to speed," Melara said with exasperation, then shook her head. "Do it. If nothing else more information is better than less."
She switched off her omni-tool, glancing first at Sam before turning her eyes to her wife. "They're still working on Mama," she said. "I've been trying to get hold of Eír without success."
It wasn't that surprising. It's not like there were comm bouys or a QEC network in dark space. All communications had to be funneled through the Citadel relay if they wanted it in any kind of real time, and right now it was a safe bet that any bandwidth they had for such communications was being taken up with the news from the krogan and salarian fleets and their hastened return home.
"Come," Daenys said gently, reaching out and taking Melara's hand. She was not surprised when Mel balked a little, glancing toward the prefab. Reassuring she added, "We will not go far, I swear it."
Wordlessly, Melara allowed Daenys to lead her around the prefab and toward the trees at the edge of the large clearing, only a few dozen yards away.
As they entered the treeline, Mel balked again. "Dae, I have a million and one things to be-"
Dae halted, turned, and took Melara's face gently in her hands, resting her forehead against hers. "I am sorry…" she said softly.
"Dae, please…" Mel said, feeling the dam holding back her emotions starting to crack.
"Mel, I am sorry…" she said again, more intently but still gentle. "I am so, so sorry…"
"Daenys, don't…"
But it was too late. Her throat seemed to close off as the feelings came rushing to the fore of her mind again, sharp and agonizing in a way no physical injury could be. A sob broke free and her strength seemed to leave her. She collapsed down to her knees, Daenys joining her without leaving her touch. Pulling Melara close, Daenys hugged her tightly, her own tears appearing on her cheeks.
"She killed her," Melara moaned into her wife's shoulder. "That goddamn bitch killed Beth. She killed Beth and she killed Red without even thinking about it. She cared about Red, and she just shot her dead without hesitating because she was afraid she'd ruin her plans! And now Mama could die too, and I can't…I can't fix any of this. I can't stop any of this!"
Daenys held her the tighter, just being near, as Melara broke out in another sob. "Bába was so strong and fierce, there wasn't anything she couldn't do. Everything broken, everything…and she fixed it. She fought and she bled but she fixed it, she stopped it! Mama and Irie are so smart but I can't be either. I'm not strong or fierce enough to fix this, and I'm not smart enough to figure this out! Why? Why did she have to kill Beth?"
A curled fist slapped weakly into Daenys' back- not nearly enough to hurt, and she did not loosen her grip. She said nothing, only held Melara until the sobs had softened and died away into exhaustion. Only then did she gently loosen her hold enough to touch her forehead to her wife's again. Gently, she probed out with her feelings, and as Melara accepted them their eyes shifted to black.
Mel's place of peace within her had always been a forest river, bright gold and green sunshine filtered through gently whispering leaves, the soft rush of water over algae-slick rocks. Daenys's was her mother's library, rich with the scent of real paper and leather books, filled with comfortable warmth and silence. As was usual in such Joinings, the one who needed that peace the most was the one to set the tableau, so the river and forest appeared around them.
But it was changed. Usually it was spring or late summer. Here, it was winter, with the branches bare of all but the most tenacious leaves, crisped and brown and withered. The sound of the river water was muffled and stilled by snow and ice. Everything was cold and lonely. There was no peace to be found here, and so Daeny's pulled Melara away from that scene and into a formless environment filled with nothing but love and comfort, letting her feel how Daenys felt…letting her see herself through her bondmate's eyes.
No matter what happens, win or lose, we are fighting this fight together. You are every bit as brave and strong as your father. You are every bit as smart and insightful as your mother and your sister. I am here for you, Melara. We are one, and we cannot be separated. Bethayla is in the care of your father now, in the care of the Goddess. She is watching over you, loving you, as fiercely as she always did. As fiercely as I do. If you need courage and strength, take mine. If you need hope and love, take mine. All that I am is yours, all that I can give is yours. Please…do not lose hope.
Lily was feeling the strain of the conditions, and of working so intently, hunched over, for so long. Normally, surgery was done with the patient lying more or less at waist height on a biobed. Here, Lily and the other medics were literally on their knees on the hard floor, hunched like carrion birds and practically laying over Liara at times in order to work.
Every few minutes, when she could afford even a momentary pause, Lily glanced over at her own mother. Though she was no longer supplying blood, Irie was still lost in the joining that was keeping Liara alive. Her face looked serene but pale. Her eyes were partly open, and beyond the azure lids they remained the darkest obsidian. Every breath she took was mirrored by the asari on the ground. Every beat of her heart, the same. Their body temperatures even matched.
Lily accepted another tool from one of those aiding her and bent back to work, carefully closing the last of the sutures and resealing the torn skin over the wound. Liara's brainwaves had strengthened a bit, moving away from near death into catatonia, and now into unconsciousness. Nodding at her assistant Lily directed that the sedative in her oxygen be increased, to prevent her waking from her sleep unexpectedly.
"I think she will live," she said, passing the last of her tools back and sitting up a bit as her assistant gingerly plastered a sterile dressing over the angry looking wound. "She is stable enough to move now. I want a gurney in here to transfer her to a proper medical facility."
Now came the tricky part, and Lily was unsure how to proceed. Liara's vitals were now strong enough to keep her alive on their own, no longer requiring Irie's support- but how did one end such a meld? Would Irie be able to sense she was no longer needed and withdraw on her own, or did she need some kind of signal, or help to break the meld?
As the assistant went to fetch the gurney and inform the others that Liara would live, Lily regarded her mother with tentative worry.
"Mama?" she said softly at first, carefully touching Irie's shoulder. "Mama, you can stop now. Grandmother will be all right…"
There was no response. Irie's eyelashes did not so much as flutter, her unfocused obsidian gaze unwavering.
Lily could not just break their hands apart- even with a normal meld, such a sudden and abrupt interruption could cause distress and damage. One such as this, it was guaranteed to do significant harm, likely to both of them.
"Mama," she tried again, her touch a bit firmer, taking Irie around the shoulders and giving her a gentle shake. "Mama, please. Please, hear me. Grandmother is going to be all right. You need to break this meld, Mama."
Nothing. Lily thought desperately for a moment.
Perhaps if I sedate her? If I give her a high enough dose to make her sleep, the meld will break naturally…no, but I cannot. The sedative effect on her vitals may make her or Grandmother go into shock- this is already a strain on both their systems.
She cannot hear me, I cannot pry their hands apart, I cannot sedate her…
Lily's brows knit a bit, and she took a deep breath. She could hear the voices of the others outside…Sam, and Melara, and Daenys. They'd want to see Liara, see for themselves she was still alive and recovering.
I just need to break through, just for a moment. Just enough for her to hear me…
Lily reached up, and lightly placed her hand on the side of her mother's neck, where the soft slope joined her shoulder just above the collar of her dress. This would not be a joining or even a melding…just a quick 'psychic' nudge to get Irie's attention, impart a message that she could stop.
The moment she opened the connection though, fast and shallow though it was, something ripped through her body. She heard a distant scream and part of her thought it must be someone outside. She did not recognize her own voice.
For the blink of a moment Lily saw her mother and her grandmother, standing on a grand golden beach that held a beauty beyond imagining. Then it was as if the fire of the sun itself poured into her veins, erupting through her head, turning every cell of her body into molten lava.
The pain was so intense she thought it alone would kill her, but almost the moment she felt it, it was gone again. A feeling like a bucket of cold water dumped on her replaced it, and she jolted, gasping for air.
"Lily, don't move! Are you hurt?"
She recognized her aunt's voice and realized she was slumped face down on the prefab floor next to Liara. The ground seemed to be leaning and swaying drunkenly and she pressed her palm to it as if to steady its motion, and gasped again.
The swaying and dizzy rush seemed to be connected to a tingle along her flesh, and as her mind cleared she realized she was lit up with biotics. She damped them down again, and things seemed to steady.
The others had clustered inside. Mel was crouched beside her, looking at her with worry. As Lily focused on her, Mel reached out and took her shoulder.
"What happened?"
"I-I was just trying to get Mama's attention," Lily replied, her voice shaking. "To tell her she could break the joining…"
"Did you meld?"
"N-no, not even that far, it was just a nudge…by the Goddess, what hit me?"
Melara supported her as she sat up, still feeling dazed. Glancing over, Lily saw Dae was helping Irie up as well. Irie looked even more dazed than Lily felt, drawn and confused, but her eyes were their normal color again.
Concern as a daughter and as a doctor rising in her, Lily tried to shift past Melara to check on Irie and make sure she was ok. She felt Mel's gentle grip on her shoulders tighten hard to prevent her, and gave her aunt an irritated scowl.
"I need to check on Mama-"
"In a moment," Melara said, looking at her intently. "That's all you did, Lily? You just 'nudged' her to try and get her attention?"
"Yes, that is all," Lily said. "She was not responding to my verbal attempts nor when I simply touched her. I could not forcefully break the meld but I was hoping a little push would get her attention- and then I found myself on the floor. May I check on my mother now?"
The last was said with rising worry and frustration. She did not understand why her aunt was stopping her.
Melara did not let her up, instead looking over at her wife. "Dae, is she ok?"
"I can see no physical wounds. She is dazed but seems to be clearing up a bit. Irie, can you hear me?"
"What…yes, I can…wh-what happened?"
"Take her out to the fresh air and…check her," Melara said to Dae before Irie could respond. "Have the medics look at her outside, and make sure they get Mama moved- no, Lily. Sit still."
Lily had attempted to rise again, only to have Mel halt her.
"Why?" she demanded. "She is my mother, and I am a doctor. I am not injured, Melara! I should be tending to my mother and my patient-"
"Right now, you are going to do nothing but what I tell you, Lily," Mel said firmly. "You are certain all you did was nudge Irie? The meld went no deeper?"
"I am certain!" she said. "I am not a fool, Mel. I know better than to force a Joining, especially when another of such an intent and delicate nature was going on. Throwing a third nervous system into the mix would have caused incredible damage to Mama and I, and would have killed Grandmother with the overload!"
Mel's eyes softened a bit. "No one thinks you're a fool, Lily, I just-"
"What? I am fine. I need to make sure that Mama is all right-"
"Lily, I'm not convinced that you're fine. I'm not sure what happened but-"
"But what? What makes you think that I am not-"
"You were lit up when we ran in-" Melara said.
"Yes, I felt it. It was just a reflex response to surprise, that is all!"
"No, Lily. You were lit up- both you and your mother- but not with biotics."
"What are you-"
"Try it. Just a little…try lighting up again," Melara said. "I need to see if…if what I saw is what I saw."
Lily lifted her hands in front of her face, then harnessed her biotics, just enough to make them glow and ripple with light. As they did, she suddenly jolted in horror, recoiling back a little as if she meant to flee her own hands.
"H-how…how did this happen?"
Instead of blue, the energy around her fingers and palms crackled a brilliant purple…lashed with tongues of white.