Lowtown Rain

Merrill carefully fit a shard into a gap in the mirror, then ran two fingers over the line that divided them. Whispering an elven prayer, she felt magic flow through her fingers, and shut her eyes as the power from within her knit the glass together like bone, a high-pitched tone emanating from the site of healing and spreading through the entirety of the little hovel she called home. She opened her eyes and surveyed her work with a smile; while one huge crack still ran down the center of the mirror, she assured herself that it would only take another month or so to gather the power to finish it.

Maybe by then, she'd hear something about Liali.

A knock at the door provided a reason to stop staring at her wrist, and she quickly jumped into her living room. As she approached the door, she slowed, the sound of rain slipping through the leaks in her roof reminding her that this couldn't just be a pleasant social call. None of her friends went out into Lowtown when it was raining; they'd all heard the most awful stories of slipping on wet cobblestone and being gored on the spikes. She eyed her staff next to the door, then decided to simply open the door and face whoever it was - it's not like Varric would let the Templars find her.

As the door swung open, she spotted a glint of moonlight reflecting off the back of blue and grey armor, a short, retreating figure covered by a hood. "Hello?" Merrill called, and her visitor stopped in their tracks.

"I was starting to think you weren't home," a familiar voice murmured. Merrill cocked her head, trying to catch a glimpse of the stranger's face. "Or that you didn't live here anymore."

"Well, I'm here now," Merrill said. "I'm sorry, but..." Her voice failed her as the figure turned around. The firelight from the doorway lit up the griffin on her visitor's chestplate, and the five long scars that crossed the blue lines on the right side of her face, lines Merrill knew well.

"Ma vhenan!" Merrill cried, rushing forward to embrace her. "Oh, Liali, I've missed you, I've missed you so much..." she mumbled into Liali's shoulder as the rain soaked her hair.

Liali chuckled, drew away, and gave her a quick peck before suggesting that they continue this when they weren't getting rained on. Merrill ushered her inside, holding her by the hand - but as soon as the door shut and she turned to see her lover's face, her heart sank as she realized just how deep the scars ran. One of Liali's brilliant blue eyes had been lost forever, nothing but a horrid gash left in its place. Merrill swallowed and put her fingers to Liali's cheek as she pulled off her hood, freeing a mass of wild black hair.

"What happened?" she asked softly, running her fingertips down the lines.

"A...a broodmother," Liali answered, taking hold of Merrill's wrist with both hands and drawing it away. "I'd run out of arrows, and she was distracted, so I took my dagger...I ran up her body and slit her throat, but she got one good slash in at me before she was done. More than one, in fact, but you can't see those," she explained, looking down.

Merrill's breath caught in her throat, but she leaned forward and took Liali's face in her hands. "My brave hunter," she whispered, kissing those scarred lips.

Liali let out a self-deprecating laugh. "Hardly. I was terrified. I was sure I was going to die, but..." She drew in a deep breath. "In death, sacrifice. Right?"

"Oh, da'len," Merrill sighed. "Soon you won't have to live like that anymore. I promise."

"Being a Warden is for life, Merrill. I told you that, didn't I?" Liali said. "And besides, even if-"

"I've got something to show you," Merrill interrupted, taking her hand. "Come and see, come and see! I can fix you!"

"Merrill, what are you-" Liali gasped when they entered the bedroom, eye fixed on the mirror. Her hand slipped out of Merrill's grasp as she backed up into the wall.

"See? I went back and I gathered up all the shards I could, and I purified them, and now I'm going to fix it!" Merrill said, gesturing wildly at the mirror as Liali put a shaking hand to her mouth. "And I figure, if when it's broken it makes you sick, when it works it should cure you, right?" She turned eagerly to Liali.

"This is why you left," Liali said numbly. "Why nobody in the clan wanted to talk about you. Why the keeper told me..." The skin seemed to pull back from her head as she stared past Merrill into the blank glass of the Eluvian. "Merrill, Creators, Merrill..."

"What?" Merrill's face scrunched up. "Ma vhenan, you're a Warden, surely you know that-"

"Merrill, gods, you used blood magic, didn't you? You...you did, you slit your wrists to bring back the mirror that killed me." Liali pointed at the scars on Merrill's forearms. "You...how could you do this? You left the clan behind, you're destroying yourself, gods, Merrill, I never wanted this to...I never..."

"For you!" Merrill cried, rushing forward and forcibly interlocking their fingers. "Ma vhenan, it can fix you, I know it can, the spirit told me-"

"A demon of pride told you what you wanted to hear!" Liali shouted, shoving her off. "Merrill, you can't keep this thing, it'll kill you. Go back to the clan, give up this ridiculous fantasy!"

"I don't care about the clan!" Merrill said, tears starting to form in her eyes. "The only reason any of them even tolerated me was you. When you left, suddenly the only one who wanted me in the clan was the Keeper. And then they condemn me for trying to get you back! I sacrificed everything for you, my heart, for you!"

"I've had enough of the people I love sacrificing themselves for me," Liali said darkly, looking away.

"You want me to throw it all away? Two years I've spent waiting for you, praying for you, working for you, hoping every day that you'd come back to me, and this is how you repay me?" Merrill's voice wavered, but she pressed on. "I can't give this up now. I've come too far. Even if it can't save you, who knows how much it could teach us if I just made it work!"

"Merrill," Liali said, and Merrill's heart sank to her stomach. "Either you destroy that mirror, or I walk out of here. I won't come back until it's gone."

"It doesn't have the Blight! Can't you tell, you're a Warden-"

"If you start it working again, how long until it breaks? I can't condone this, Merrill. Not as one of the Dalish, and not as a Warden," Liali interrupted. "I won't change my mind. And if I leave, I will have Wardens watching you. I can't let you do this."

Merrill stared into the eye of the woman she'd spent years pining for. She saw memories of long hunts for ruins that ended in lips locking for what seemed like hours; she saw the tension in Liali's muscles as she drew her bow back, eyes locked on a deer, tongue sticking out absurdly; she saw years of pining before the first kiss, and years of pining after she left. She swallowed all of it, and said, "I won't."

"Then goodbye." Liali's voice broke as she turned and practically ran out of the room, drawing her hood up as she left. Merrill followed, not sure what she could say or do to make her change her mind, but sure that something would convince her to stay, she'd come out all this way after-

Her train of thought switched tracks as Liali gripped the door handle. "Why did you really come out here?" Merrill asked through a lump in her throat. "You didn't come for me. The Wardens are more important to you, aren't they?"

Liali looked over her shoulder, and Merrill caught a glimpse of her downward glance, the guilt in her eye. "We heard about an expedition," she admitted quietly. "But I volunteered because I wanted to see you." She shuddered and turned back to the door. "Please, Merrill," she begged, "be careful." But as she pulled it open, it revealed a tall young woman with a wet black ponytail who looked very guilty.

Liali reacted in an instant, drawing her dagger with one hand and grabbing the woman's collar with the other, shoving her inside and against a wall in less time than it took Merrill to realize what was going on. "What are you doing here?" Liali snarled, putting the dagger to the woman's throat just as Merrill finally caught up and asked, "Hawke?"

"Hey, Merrill," Hawke offered, waving awkwardly. Despite the situation, some humor still gleamed in those teal eyes. "Who's your friend? Just kidding, I know."

"Who is this?" Liali growled.

"She's the one who made it out of your expedition with all the gold," Merrill explained. "And my friend. Let her go."

"She hasn't told me why she's here," Liali said.

"Don't you remember me, from the Hanged Man? You asked Isabela and me if we knew an adorable Dalish elf with black hair in little ponytails," Hawke reminded her. "Isabela told me who you were, and I was a bit curious, so..."
"What did you hear?" Liali asked, stepping back and sheathing her dagger.

"Mostly raised voices," Hawke said with a shrug. "If you want to hear about the expedition, though, go down to Darktown and ask for the healer. You probably shouldn't do that in Warden getup, though." She grinned. "You're in for a shock."

Liali shot a meaningful glance at Merrill. "Just go, she's telling the truth," Merrill said, and without another word Liali stormed out of the house.

Hawke wavered a bit in place, staring into Merrill's eyes. Merrill suddenly realized that she was probably drunk, and yet had wandered out into Lowtown in the middle of a rainstorm to check on her. "Hey, Merrill," Hawke said, cocking her head. "You okay?"

Merrill tried to answer but it only came out as a sob, and she sank onto the bench in front of the fireplace and put her head in her hands. She couldn't cry in front of Hawke, not now, not ever, she'd think less of her, she'd-

She felt a strong arm wrap around her shoulders as Hawke sat down next to her. Even though Hawke was sopping wet, Merrill felt warmth spread through her, and she gratefully leaned her head on Hawke's shoulder. "It's all right," Hawke murmured, stroking her arm, "I'm here."

Merrill drew her hands away and looked up into Hawke's eyes. She was a hunter too, wasn't she? That's what the little dabs of blue paint under her eyes and on her lower lip meant. The Chasind marks of the hunter. Hawke told her that once. And she was an archer, and a hero even if she'd never say so, and-

"What was all that about?" Hawke asked as Merrill looked away, blushing.

Merrill had to remember why Hawke was here, why her eyes hurt so much. Her lower lip quivered and she covered her face again, letting out quiet, stifled sobs. She tried to explain everything, from her transfer into the clan to the first time she'd kissed Liali to the mirror and the Blight and Denerim and the deal with the demon and...but she wasn't sure she was doing a good job. When she couldn't manage anything more than a repeated, "I love her," she stopped talking and just rested her head on Hawke's shoulder again, drained and exhausted. Hawke's fingers tightened their grip on Merrill's arm.

"That bitch," Hawke spat, startling Merrill. "I should go out there and-"

"Stay," Merrill said, taking a handful of Hawke's tunic and holding on tight.

Hawke looked down and smiled. "Well, if you insist."

Merrill put her head against Hawke's chest and left it there until her breathing slowed. She put her hand on Hawke's thigh and heard her heart speed up, her breath catch in her throat. Merrill smiled despite herself, teasing out responses by drumming her fingers on Hawke's leg, brushing her hand over Hawke's.

"Merrill," Hawke said after Merrill snuggled closer, "I don't want to-I don't want to take advantage..."

"You're the drunk one," Merrill reminded her.

"Not really, just a little bi-"

Merrill rushed up and captured Hawke's lips, running her tongue over the sweet-tasting dab of paint, sucking greedily at it until the taste of the crushed Fereldan wildberries was utterly spent. She drew back to behold her work, Hawke's lip bare for the first time she'd ever seen, her eyes black with desire. "Maker, Merrill," she gasped. "I-that was - are you sure that-"

"I want something good to come out of tonight," Merrill said, taking Hawke by the collar and standing up. "I waited for her for years, and I haven't...in all that time..."

"Oh," was all Hawke could muster as Merrill leaned in for another kiss.

"Now let's get you out of those wet clothes," Merrill purred, "And you can show me what Isabela's always bragging about."