Humility

Merrill stood before the mouth of Sundermount's highest cavern, feeling a chill blow through her. Hawke's arms wrapped around her waist.

"You don't have to do this," she murmured, fear giving strength to her clenching fingers. "Not if you don't want to."

"I've come too far," Merrill said, gently untangling herself from Hawke's grasp and looking her in the eye. "And you're the only one I trust to be by my side when I do this."

"So what am I, darkspawn shit?" Isabela asked, hopping up beside her.

"You'll follow Hawke. You always do," Merrill said, smiling at her.

"And I'm just here to take the demon claws to the face, right? That seems to be my job these days," Aveline grumbled from behind them.

"Well, if you don't mind," Merrill replied. Aveline just grunted in response, and the three of them let her lead them into the cave's winding passages. More of a ruin than a cave, really, Merrill thought, running her hands along the stones set into the walls by the ancient elvhen. Just the sort of place I used to go with-

Merrill very much wanted to swear at what she saw in the central chamber.

Sitting before a cross-legged statue and mimicking its pose was none other than the Hero of Ferelden. Merrill could barely recognize her but for her Warden-issue armor - her hair was an unkempt mess, even worse than the last time she'd seen her, and she'd lost the tip of her left ear. Her face sat placid beneath what seemed to be a layer of grime and dried blood, left over from a gash on her forehead that she'd apparently never cleaned up.

And, Merrill realized with a start, there was no hint of demonic energy in the air. The spirit that had been trapped in the statue was gone.

"Mahariel," Merrill said at last, stepping into the chamber. "What have you done?"

Mahariel looked up and smiled. "I've saved you," she said.

"Oh, what in the name of Andraste's tits," Hawke sighed as soon as she caught a glimpse of the Warden.

"I heard from my spies that you were heading up to Sundermount today. The Keeper knew what you would do," Mahariel said, rising to her feet. "She wanted to do it herself, but you're my burden."

"What did she do?" Merrill asked, her voice squeaking despite herself. She drew closer to Mahariel, looking into her eye, fearing what she might find there.

"She forced the demon into my body. If you kill me, it dies too."

"Isn't that exactly what we didn't want to have to deal with?" Isabela moaned as she stepped in. "Possession was not the point of this, you know."

"It would have happened anyway," Mahariel said. "I wouldn't let Merrill be taken."

"No!" Merrill shouted suddenly, stomping her foot down. "I would have never let him into my body! How-how could you do this?"

"Because I love you," Mahariel said.

A chill came into the room. Aveline's anxious pacing behind the two elves filled the silence as they stared at each other.

"Please," Mahariel said. "End this."

"You can't ask me to do that. And I-I won't." Merrill's mind raced as she remembered stories, legends, things she'd heard in the Fade in her dealings with spirits-

"She says she has to die, Merrill," Hawke said gently, putting a hand on Merrill's shoulder. "Is she right?"

"No. She's not."

Mahariel visibly paled. "No! This is the only way to end this now. I made sure of it. The Keeper said-"

"The Keeper doesn't know blood magic. She fears it. Just like you." Merrill reached down and slipped a knife out of her boot. "But I can reach into your mind through the Fade and find the demon's dwelling-place. I can destroy him and leave you intact."

"That ritual requires a total sacrifice!" Mahariel argued, her eye growing wide. "I know of it! Someone tried to convince me to do it once!"

"Perhaps the one that person knew did. Or they didn't know how to change it. I can draw enough energy from two lives and leave them intact. It won't be fun, but we'll live," Merrill said, turning around. "Lien-"
"I'll do it," Hawke said immediately. "I'm not letting this happen on my watch. Not next to my city."

"Can you make it a three-way?" Isabela asked. Aveline scoffed. "I mean draw from my blood, too," Isabela added with an annoyed glance. "That way, we'll all be less drained when we have to walk all the way back down this stupid mountain."

"No, no, no, you have to kill me, it's the only way it can all make sense," Mahariel pleaded, shaking. "Don't do this, don't try and fix me anymore, Merrill, just let me die, please, please-"

"You don't want to die. If you did, he would have taken you over by now. You would have let him in," Merrill argued.

"No it's-I can't let him in because-"

"Liali," Merrill said, touching her fingers to Mahariel's forehead, "Sleep." She sent a burst of power through her fingertips, and Liali swayed and started to fall. Merrill caught her and gently laid her down before the statue.

She turned back to the others. "Aveline, I need you to watch us. We're all going to be asleep for a long time," Merrill said.

"Wonderful. I can catch up on Varric's guard serial," Aveline said sarcastically. "I'm in full support of this plan, by the way. Use blood magic to kill a demon. Seems reasonable."

"Trust me," Merrill begged.

"I don't have much of a choice."

Isabela and Hawke both stepped up next to her, the three of them forming a triangle. "Are you sure about this, kitten?"

"Not at all," Merrill said with a smile, "but I'm not letting her die."

"I honestly like this plan better," Hawke said. "Less chance of my favorite elf getting a plus one."

"You're always behind me, ma vhenan."

"You know it."

"All right. Hold out your wrists." Merrill readied her knife. "And hold still." She drew three quick lines across their arms, then raised the knife point between the three of them. Blood soared out of the wounds, eliciting cries of pain and surprise as it gathered into a ball. Merrill felt her own consciousness slipping as the power in their blood was brought out, and finally she let it switch from being in her head to being inside the sphere of viscera at the tip of her knife. As she jumped, the bubble burst, the three women dropped to the ground, and Merrill found herself floating above her own body.

She was floating freely as if in the Fade, bound by nothing but her own will. Aveline turned and saw her spirit, gasping, but she had no time to explain. Merrill flew over and positioned herself above Liali's prone form. She reached her fingers into Liali's forehead, and a great gravity pulled the rest of her inward.

She found herself at the top of a tower, surrounded by fire and corpses. A massive dragon reared up before her, bleeding from the stomach and scrabbling along the ground, trying to gain the strength to raise its head. Liali's voice called out from behind her.

"Let me take it!" she begged as Merrill turned to see who she was talking to. Liali had a brown-haired human man by the shoulder, stopping him from charging the beast. Merrill started to see that she had both eyes again. "Please. I can't let you die. This is my duty. You should lead the Wardens."

The dragon roared, a horrible sound that forced Merrill's hands to her ears.

"I'm not giving you a choice," the man said quietly, putting his hand to Liali's cheek. "I love you."

He broke from her grasp and charged right through Merrill, but before he could make it to the dragon an arrow caught him in the back of the knee. He stumbled and fell as Liali rushed by, grabbing his sword on the way. He and Merrill watched helplessly as Liali slid under the dragon's neck, tearing a long gash in its throat and covering herself in its tainted blood. As the dragon's head dropped to the ground, Liali sidestepped it, then plunged the blade into the top of its skull.

A pillar of light shot out from the beast, piercing the heavens with power, Liali caught in its ray as she tried to extract the blade. A shockwave blew her over, thrusting her off of the beast and into the man's arms. In the silence that followed, the man leaned down and kissed her. "You did it," he whispered as she stirred. "And you survived."

"No," Liali groaned, squirming in his arms. "This isn't-this isn't how it happened-this is a lie-"

"Shh, my dear. You're so much stronger than anyone thought you were,"

"No!"

Before Merrill's eyes, the two of them switched positions - only the man wasn't moving, and Liali sobbed into his chest as his dead eyes stared blankly ahead. "You died," Liali moaned, rocking back and forth with the body in her arms as her face twisted into the scarred version Merrill had just seen in the cave. "You died because I didn't stop you, because you thought you had to, but I should've been the one, I'm nothing, you were a king's son and a Warden and so much more than me..."

Merrill cautiously walked forward, waiting for the pride demon to try another illusion to feed off of Liali's emotions and truly take her over. Liali's head jerked at the soft sounds of her footsteps. Their eyes met, and the blood drained from Liali's face.

"What now, monster?" she hissed, standing up and dropping the body. It faded into nothing before it hit the ground. "Are you going to try to use her against me, too?

"You think you're so much better than her," Merrill found herself saying, the words flooding out of her body like vomit. "You brought me into your body because you think she can't handle it. Your pride won't allow you to think that she might be stronger than you. That she might break the taint's hold on you."

"N-no, that's not true, I just want to protect her, I don't want her to suffer the same fate as me," Liali argued.

"Lies you tell yourself. Like you told in the Mother's chamber," Merrill continued, her muscles clenching as she tried to break the demon's hold on her. And the Fade shifted and warped around her, to an underground island reaching out into a green lake. Liali had her dagger out, and a truly horrid creature stood at the end of the island.

Merrill hadn't truly understood what a "broodmother" was until that moment, when she saw the bloated, twisted mockery of the human form wailing at the end of the island. Merrill looked behind Liali and saw two humans and a dwarf fighting off flesh-colored tentacles while the broodmother laughed. Liali ran past her and clambered up the layers of fat and skin that made up the lower end of the broodmother, and started stabbing her in the throat. The Mother flailed her claws and tore chunks out of Liali even as she continued to slam the dagger, two-handed, into the Mother's chest over and over. Finally, as Liali buried the dagger in the Mother's eye, the Mother's arm thrust through her chest, fingers wriggling out of her spine.

Merrill hunched over and threw up, tears spilling from her eyes even as the pride demon forced her to gloat, "There. Now you've made the sacrifice and become the martyr, just like you planned when you made that mad dash. Now you don't have to continue on, getting uglier and sadder and lonelier the longer you persist on in the life you never wanted. Now, you're a real hero. Like Alistair."

"No," Liali whispered. Merrill looked up to see her pulling herself off of the Mother's arm, falling backwards off her body. She stood up, the hole in her stomach slowly knitting itself back together as Merrill watched, shaking. "No, that wasn't-it wasn't about pride, I needed to save them, I didn't care if I lived or died-"

"You wanted to die," Merrill said.

"Because I'm no leader!" Liali shouted. "I never wanted to be! All I ever wanted to do before that fucking mirror was-was-"

Liali ran forward, embraced Merrill, and forced their lips together. Merrill closed her eyes, and the cave faded away, the sounds of birds and shuffling forest creatures replacing the dead silence. When Liali broke the kiss, Merrill opened her eyes to find her young again. Sixteen, she thought, looking around at the quiet ruins, bathed in the orange light of sunset. She remembered what she was supposed to do; she was supposed to blush, look down, and nervously grab Liali's hand. This was supposed to be the happiest and most confusing time of her life, she knew. She could still feel the butterflies in her stomach. And when she spoke, it wasn't the demon's voice, at long last.

"Liali," she murmured, brushing Liali's hair behind her ear. "I'm so sorry. For all of this."

Liali's eyes widened. "Merrill? You're really here?"

"I came to save you, remember?" Merrill said. "You've broken its hold on me."

"Is-is this another trick? To make me proud of that?" Liali drew away, her scars breaking through the Fade's illusion.

"No," Merrill said, "but as soon as I said that, I felt him leave. You were proud, so he's coming. He's going to try to take you by force now, now that we've fed him."

The forest dropped away, leaving nothing but the two of them on a rocky plain, a green sky and the Black City above them.

"Liali, grab your bow," Merrill said, taking her staff from her back. "We have the power to destroy him. Together."

And he fell from the sky. A massive, violet, scaled humanoid creature, horns extending from his head and spines from his elbows, dropping right in front of the two of them and sinking his claws into the ground. He rose up to his full height, staring down at the two of them. If he had lips, he would grin, Merrill thought, seeing the glint in his eye.

"So you plan to fight, do you?" Audacity asked, stomping forward. "You want to kill me after all. Merrill, Merrill, I thought we had such a close and friendly relationship."

"I always knew what you were," Merrill declared, stepping between Audacity and Liali. "I was never going to let you take me."

"That was never my plan," Audacity said with a chuckle. "I wanted the mirror finished. I reside near the very crossroads that it's connected to, and I could finally leave this prison and enter your world. But your Keeper and this worthless, depressed elf already saw to that."

Liali shrank behind Merrill, clutching her chest in fear at the sight of Audacity. Merrill stood her ground, drawing power from within herself, charging her staff for the fight to come.

"But that doesn't mean we can't still have an accord," Audacity said, leering. "How is this: You leave, let me have this body, and I will give you the passphrase to reactivate the Eluvian. You can have knowledge none have known for centuries, at the cost of just one life."

"Never." And with a twirl of her staff, Merrill sent a bolt of lightning straight into the demon's chest.

He stumbled backward, growling, then slammed his fists into the ground as Merrill started peppering him with firebolts. He charged, and Merrill grabbed Liali by the hand and dragged her to the side to dodge him. "Come on!" she urged. "You have your bow, look!"

"She is broken," Audacity claimed, standing up tall again and gathering green flame in his hands. "It took so long to gather the pride from her, I had to eke it out, find it underlying all the self-hate and despair. She will die here, no matter if I live or not."

Merrill readied a shield for the coming inferno, a white bubble around herself and Liali. Audacity chuckled.

"Last chance, Dalish," Audacity goaded. "Drop the barrier. Let me take her, and the secrets of the elvhen are yours."

An arrow shot through from Merrill's side of the barrier and struck Audacity in the face, taking out of one his many eyes. The flames he'd been preparing suddenly broke loose and ignited his flesh. He screamed as arrow after arrow thudded into him, his head, his chest, his stomach, Liali emerging from behind Merrill's shield to continue drawing and firing, drawing and firing. Her face twisted into a snarl of rage, she cried, "Get out!" and rushed him as he reeled back, smouldering and bleeding. She drew her dagger and leapt for him, clinging onto the cracked ridges on his throat and shoving her blade under his chin. Light poured from the final wound, and expanded until his whole body shone like a beacon, and then vanished from under Liali.

She dropped to the ground on all fours as the Fade became dark around her. "Thank you," she said quietly.

Merrill found herself staring at the glowworm-studded ceiling of the Sundermount cavern, an ache infesting her entire body, dried blood on her wrist. She groaned as the weight of the ritual made itself known.

In front of her she heard Liali stir, a soft sound of recognition accompanying her waking. Aveline grunted from the front of the cave. "Please tell me that worked," she said.

"It did," Liali said, her voice a harsh croak, echoing through the cave. "She did it."

"Thank the Maker for small miracles, then."

Merrill tentatively sat up, wincing at the pain in her back, and found that Aveline had moved the three of them to the cave wall and set them up on top of their bedrolls. Liali had been left where she was, lying in front of the statue, and she too was just beginning to rise. Finding the act of holding herself up exhausting, Merrill let herself fall back again. She closed her eyes and listened to the shallow breaths of Hawke and Isabela to her right, reaching out for Hawke's hand blindly and intertwining their fingers.

"So, what's the plan now?" Aveline asked. "The other two woke up a little while ago, but they said they were tired, so..."

"We'll need rest," Merrill said from the floor. "At least a few hours."

"And where's she going?"

Liali's feet shuffled on the stone floor as she stood. "I don't know," she said quietly. "I told the Wardens I wasn't coming back."

"Stay with us," Merrill said. "Just for a while."

Liali sat down crossed-legged beside her, and Merrill turned her head to look. "We should get you cleaned up," she mused as Liali fidgeted. She reached out a hand to stroke her hair. "Cut this. Wash it. Wash you. Polish your armor." Liali caught her hand and held it tight with both of hers, her fingers shaking. "Audacity was right about one thing, you know," Merrill continued, putting her head back to look at the ceiling. "You could use a little more pride."

Liali swallowed. "Are you sure you want me back in Kirkwall? Back in your life?"

"Mhmm."

"And what will she think?" Liali asked, pointing over Merrill's head at Hawke.

"I'll convince her when she wakes up." A wicked, sleepy grin came to Merrill's face. "I'm sure she'd love to be able to say she slept with the Hero of Ferelden..."

Liali's squeak was matched with an "Oh, Maker," from Aveline. "I-I-Are you really saying-you want to-" Liali stammered.

Merrill giggled. "We can talk more later. Just come down here and keep me company, until this ache passes."

As Liali's skinny, armor-clad body pressed against her own, Merrill smiled to have her two lovers beside her. She happily turned to her side and nestled against Hawke as Liali's chest pressed into her back, her arms encircling her stomach.

"What about the Eluvian?" Liali asked, after a moment had passed.

"It's just a mirror."