Warning: This is one of the most heart-wrenching things I've ever written. I wrote it a few years ago but wasn't sure I would ever post it because, whenever I re-read it, it always makes me feel . . . miserable. (And I was never really sure which story it should be part of.)

One of these days, our love will lead you back.

Why did that song keep playing on the radio? He asked himself why he bothered turning on the damned thing. It was better than the silence, he supposed.

He couldn't blame her for leaving; it was all his fault. No matter what choice he had made, their daughter would be dead. Or both she and Layla would be dead. He would have wound up alone anyway. That was the inescapable truth.

And yet, he tried to escape it. The liquor only made things hazy. Pills had a variety of effects on his senses. Nothing could make him forget, but, still, he tried to find a way to get away from the pain, even if for only a moment.

But Layla? Oh, no, Layla wouldn't dare crawl into a bottle; she so rarely drank. She was far too sensible for that sort of behaviour.

She was too sensible for his sort of behaviour.

She was too good for him.

How many times had her father told him that? Even on the day of their wedding, Becker had reminded him. But, of course, he knew that. He'd always been aware of it. The very day they had met, he had thought he'd never have a chance with her. The fact that she wasn't even seventeen had merely confirmed that belief.

Over the ensuing year, though, she had come to feel the same way about him. He'd never dared to dream she could ever reciprocate his love for her, but that didn't stop him from -

It was too painful to think about the beginning of their relationship when it had so recently ended. He found some measure of comfort in the fact that he had not been served with divorce papers.

He took a deep breath and rose. He decided he'd had enough of wallowing in self-pity. He had to change.

Maybe she could see the good in him again if he could get back to being the man she'd fallen in love with in the first place.

But, first, he would have to change the radio station, take a shower, and eat a decent meal. Then, he could get back to work.

He turned the dial until he found another station; he didn't care which station, so long as they didn't play that Taylor Dayne song every hour.

". . . I just couldn't see it until my life fell apart. A second once in a lifetime isn't too much to ask, 'cause I swear from the heart, if ever you're in my arms again -"

He ripped the radio from its socket and hurled it across the living room. It gave him an odd sense of satisfaction to watch it shatter.

'Like my life,' he thought bitterly.

Half a world away, his Layla forced herself to get out of bed. She trudged to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face.

'Ugh, I'm a mess.' Her hair was sticking out at odd angles. Her nose was red. Her eyes were perpetually puffy from crying. 'When was the last time I actually slept through the night? Paris. The night before -'

She closed her eyes and forced the memories back down. She took a measured, steady breath, then another. She bit her lip, considering whether she should call Gregory.

Would he even speak to her?

It was her fault Leah was gone. If only -

She shook her head. A thousand what ifs couldn't change the past.

Another slow breath.

She had allowed herself to dwell in grief and sorrow long enough, and, although she knew the pain of loss would never disappear, she still had a life to live.

And, if Gregory would still have her, would still take her back someday, maybe she could come back from the abyss.

'But I'm the one that walked away. It was all my fault. If I had just been paying attention -'

She heaved out a weary sigh and stepped into the shower. The hot water roused her.

Once she felt like something resembling a human woman again, she went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. She turned on the radio to keep her company.

"And I can't stop thinking about, about the way things used to be -"

She ripped the radio from its socket and heaved it across the kitchen with a strength she didn't know she possessed. It gave her an odd sense of satisfaction to watch it shatter.

'Like my life, she thought grimly.

Love Will Lead You Back, lyrics by Diane Warren
If Ever You're in My Arms Again, lyrics by Cynthia Weil, Michael Masser, Tom Snow
Breathe Again, lyrics by Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds