Okay guys...prepare for an apology...
I'm so sorry! I feel so bad for not updating! It's just, I just took my black belt test and I'm in the process of moving cities and there's been a lot going on and I don't want to give you all a mediocre chapter and and and-
Okay, I think I got it all. Please, continue reading. From here, the updates will get faster, I promise. Now GO!
Before The Bloodbath: Part 4
"Liliianne, are you alright?"
The elevator door slamming shut, I was dropped off at the Tribute's Apartments - well, thrown into - and I angrily pounded at the door, not sure what I could get from that action. Still I pounded and pounded, angry and shouting.
"No, Cornelia!" I shout at her, flicking the bangs out of my hair. "I am not alright!"
"Well I'm sure a little tea will calm down-"
"NO! SOME STUPID TEA WILL NOT CALM ME DOWN!"
My escort stares at me, her eyes wide. My heavy breathing halts, and I stare at her, equally wide eyed.
I've never shouted at someone so angrily in my life.
Everyone is around me now. CInna and Jaques are at my left. Cashmere and Cornelia in the front. Demetrius and Gloss on my right. They're all staring at me.
"I -" My mouth doesn't make words. "I - I'm-"
Through the small gap in between Cashmere and Jacques, I squeeze through, rushing myself away from them and into the safety of my Tribute bedroom. I close the door impatiently, fumbling with the handle, and rest my head on the cool door. Without moving my head, I peer down to see the blue dress still clinging on to my body.
I yelp and in panic I start pulling off the dress. I try not to break it or tear it, but I just wanted it off as soon as possible.
Anything to make me forget I was here.
The fabric and it's crystal falls to the floor in a small thud, and I jump out in my underclothes, to the bathroom. I see myself in the mirror, and I gasp.
My make up has stayed as it was, even with crying, anger, shouting, and hugs. While my hair dye is smudged, the blue is still contrasting against my blonde hair. Even my blonde hair is seemingly perfect - not like the dirty and pale blonde it was before, but bright and honey like. Skin clear, lips plump, eyelashes curled to perfection -
What the hell happened to me?
I frantically splashed water on my face, rubbing away the make up with a small towel and soap. After a few moments of trying to wash off my face, I look up at the mirror again.
Skin clear, plump lis, golden hair, eyelashes curled to perf-
I slam down the towel on the counter, freaking out with a cry.
I wanted normalcy again. I wanted life the way it was before. Not since I was nine have I ever been in the public eye with such fervor. Never have I had so much pressure on my shoulders. After seven years of living behind my family and my last name, after seven years of just going to school, running at the gym, and going home, after seven years of just living like a normal person - I was thrust into the spotlight, even morsoe than my sister, mother, and father combined. Everything belonged to the Capitol and her grandfather now. My fate, my future -
Even my face wasn't mine anymore. With its stupidly perfect skin and lips and eyes and eyebrows - just looking at myself made me want to cry. It wasn't the fact that I looked pretty - I was gorgeous, now, no doubt. It was the fact that I didn't want to be like this on these terms. I didn't want to be pretty for the Hunger Games.
It was like fattening a pig for slaughter.
"Why…" I grumble. "Why…?"
The sounds of Juniper's cries before she was escorted out of the room ring in my ears.
"No-Lilly-Please-Win!"
Knock. Knock. Knock.
I wipe my eyes quickly and make my way back into my room. Holding my hands on the frame of the bathroom door, I sigh.
"Who is it?"
"It's Cinna." His voice is muffled behind the door. "I'm here to pick up the dress. And, to tell you the show is almost over. They're on District 10."
I press my lips together hesitantly. Before I reach for the door, I look down and see I'm half naked.
It would be best if I put some clothes on.
"Hold on." I answer.
After fishing out a shirt and some shorts, I open the door. Cinna smiles genuinely, walking into my room and picking up the dress on the floor without a single cry of protest over it or a question as to why it was on the floor in the first place. I watch him do so, fumbling with the shirt that turned out to be a crop top, exposing my stomach. After a moment of silence, I settle on watching the ground instead.
"If I were you, I'd go to the viewing room. District 12 will be on soon."
My heart fluttered dangerously.
"Huh?"
Cinna chuckled as he folded the soft and silky dress.
"Hurry. When I left, the time said 20 seconds for 10. They must be at 11 now."
District 12. Alex. And Fern. Their interview. I nodded, knowing that he probably figured I would want to watch. I turned to make my way through the door frame, when Cinna speaks again.
"By the way, he looked really handsome when I passed him by the staging area."
I blush without permission to my brain, covering my mouth slightly. I turn to him before I exit.
"Cinna…thanks." I paused, then added, "For - for everything."
"Hurry up and watch him, now." He said jokingly, picking up the intact crystal from the dress and giving me a wink. I smiled and bounded off into the viewing room.
Fern's interview was bland.
Maybe it was bland because I'd seen (and heard) all of it before.
In my honest opinion, I expected more. Especially since Peeta Mellark - the greatest interview I'd ever seen - was her mentor.
The interview was simple: She's from the poor side of town. The Sow, or Seam, or whatever they call it. She's scared, but she's hoping the odds are in her favor. The Capitol is amazing and she's never seen anything so breathtaking in her life.
Give me a break.
I had to fight myself many times to keep from rolling my eyes excessively. I could've done that interview myself! And besides, still recovering from my freak out from earlier, everyone was watching me closely. In the rounded couch, I sat at the end with my legs up. Gloss, Demetrius, and Cashmere sat in the middle, and Jacques and Cornelia on the opposite end. We watched intently, each with their own commentary.
"That dress is fabulous." Cornelia breathes, staring at the high-low dress made of red floral print against creamy white backdrop, strapless with a rope-like belt.
"Eh, could be better." Jacques grumbles. "Ropes are so 70th Hunger Games."
"She looks like she's strong." Gloss says about a minute into the interview. Demetrius shakes his head.
"Nah, she's kind of average. I watched her during training."
"Well let's hope she's not hiding something." Cashmere replies, still watching the screen.
I say nothing until she finishes her interview and the buzzer sounds. Caesar chivalrously helps her up from her seat and thanks Fern for the interview. Then her answer makes me do a double take.
"Of course, Mr. Flickerman. I can assure you, these games will be the most…interesting game in history."
My mouth opens a bit as I pick up the innuendo she's making, but don't know what it's for. I look over at my team with a look of 'did-you-catch-that?', but no one looks my way and they stare at the screen blankly.
"Ladies and gentlemen, Fern Segovia from District 12!"
Her heavily outlined eyes give the crowd a look that only I seem to catch, because when she meets the camera, it feels like we're staring each other down. She gives a dismissive and quiet snort as she walks off into the staging area.
"So Lillianne, what did you think of the interview?"
Cornelia's hesitant question makes me look away from the screen, meeting her totally fake hazel eyes. I sigh.
"It was…stale." I say simply, my arms crossing over my chest. Demetrius chuckles.
"You would know, watching those games religiously for years."
"Oh put a sock in it, will you Demetrius?" I retaliate. He leans over to me, seeing as he's closest, giving me a cocky grin.
"You look cute when you're mad."
"Stop. Now."
He nears my face seductively but playful at the same time, and I back away, annoyed. I'm about to slap him away when something else grabs my attention.
"Now ladies and gentlemen, our final tribute, Alexander Romulus from District 12!"
My face turns to the screen quickly, eyes large, and I hear Demetrius sigh exasperatedly as he moves away from me. I straighten up.
Alex strides in with a sly grin, his hair waved instead of his natural curl. In a navy blue suit jacket and matching slim pants, he shakes hands with Caesar Flickerman, and sits while adjusting his light pink tie.
"Why pink?" Cornelia asks just as I begin to wonder. I shrug.
"So, Alexander, how are you?" Caesar begins. "Rumor had it that you pulled in to the Capitol with a fever!"
I make a silent gasp at the piece of knowledge I was unaware of. The crowd makes sounds of concern. Alex chuckles.
"I did have fever, but it was a short cold, is all. I'm fine now, Mr. Flickerman." He answers graciously. A bit too graciously. I smile a bit and raise an eyebrow, as if mentally asking 'Are you alright?". The crowd claps in approval.
"Please, call me Caesar!" Caesar bellows, "We're all friends here!" Alex smiles again.
"Alright, Caesar."
"Now, now, tell me - how do you think you'll do in these games?"
Standard question, I think to myself. Usually left until the end, but easy to answer. I watch carefully to try to assess anything that he'll say.
"I think I'll be the best tribute there ever was!" He says sarcastically, and the crowd laughs a bit at his overeagerness. I smile as he laughs a bit himself. "I'm kidding, but I do think that I have a great chance. I'm smarter than I look, Caesar." At that comment, he turns to the crowd and makes a funny face, sticking out his tongue. This makes the crowd laugh a little harder at the hilarious tribute. Even Caesar himself is smiling wide at Alex.
"You're a comedic one, aren't you?" He asks, nudging him playfully and Alex gives him a wink.
"Hey, someone's gotta lighten the mood in the arena!" He answers with a cheeky grin and a thumbs up. Flickerman agrees with another laugh.
"Why yes, and I know for a fact that your comedic attributes will soften sponsors!" He looks at the crowd with a suggestive look, trying to acquire sponsors for him. The crowd laughs and Alex goes along.
"Hope so, Flick!" He replies, shortening his name. The crowd eats it up, and Caesar gives him a fake 'watch it' gesture.
As the crowd dies down, he asks another question.
"So what do you think of this year's tributes? Any of them catch your eye or stand out?"
At this question, Alex is hesitant to answer, a blush creeping at his cheeks. I bite my lip.
"The competition is tough, Caesar. The tributes are all very…different in their own way. Some…" He grins to himself and looks down. "Some dazzle you more than others."
Caesar bites the bait. "May I ask whom?"
The crowd is silent. Our room is silent as well, and I don't notice that I'm basically sitting at the edge of the couch. He blushes.
"Well, it doesn't really matter now, does it?" He retaliates quietly. The crowd groans, as does Caesar.
"Come on, Alexander! Who dazzles you?" The crowd goes into a small uproar, trying to get him to talk. He sighs.
"I know she shouldn't dazzle me, what with her boyfriend or whatever-" He pauses, taking a breath, "But I've been blindsided. She's overwhelmed me completely."
"Who!" Caesar gushes. The audience is anticipating it.
"Well…her name's Lillianne Snow."
In our room, there's a loud noise. Cornelia's tea cup has fallen to the ground, shattered into a million pieces. My eyes widen and stare at the screen. Demetrius's mouth drops.
"What the hell!" He shouts. I don't answer. The crowd gasps loudly, not expecting this. Caesar's smiling hard, as if he'd won the lottery.
"Miss Snow has caught your eye?" He asks. Alex nods, giving him a sheepish look. Caesar rubs his chin. "But…how?"
Alex smiles. "She crept up on me, Caesar. Her eyes, her smile…the way she bites her lip, the way she averts everyone's gaze when she enters the room- Caesar, everything about her is just…wow."
All eyes turn to me. I press my lips together slowly, still watching the television and not meeting their eyes. I see from the corner of my eye that Demetrius crosses his arms across his chest.
Back on-screen, Caesar asks him if we've become friends behind the cameras. Alex gives a mischievous smile.
"Well, I'll just say that we're no strangers. And the cameras will show that." He winks at the crowd and the crowd applauds in excitement, already curious. Caesar laughs and the buzzer goes off on cue. The audience erupts into applause, and Alex blushes darker red, gaining a long "D'aw" from the viewers and Caesar himself. They shake hands and Caesar gestures him out to the crowd.
"Alexander Romulus, the Tribute from District 12!"
The screen goes black abruptly just as Alex gives the crowd a crooked grin. I turn to my side to inquire who has turned off the television, when I see Demetrius drop down the universal control to the couch. I raise an eyebrow at him and Cashmere stands.
"I think you two should get some sleep, its-"
"Lillianne. You and I need to talk."
I stay on the couch, my hands gripping onto the cushion.
"Why? Its late, we need sleep-"
"Damn it, Lillianne!"
I yelp as I feel Demetrius's all too familiar grip on my arm, harshly pulling me upwards and shaking me. Everyone stands frantically.
"Demetrius, unhand her!"
"Come on, man. You need to calm down."
"Let her go, Demetrius!"
I push him away and my legs find the floor, stumbling backwards.
"What the hell-"
"We need to talk, now." He says firmly. I stare at him, eyes wide, then look at the people around us, ready to hold Demetrius back. I sigh. He's right. We do need to talk. Today's events have gotten me tangled in a web of strategies and feelings that right now I wasn't sure what was going on. I turned on my heel to walk to my room, when Demetrius shouts behind me.
"Lillianne Snow-!"
"Calm down, Florence, I'm getting my jacket." I call over my shoulder. I slam my door for good measure.
"So what is this all about, Demetrius?" I ask, leaning against the banister atop the roof of the Tributes' Apartments. He sighs, running his hand through his hair.
"First of all," He replies, "I'm sorry about grabbing your arm."
I purse my lips to my left, not really buying the apology. "It's not new to me. Don't worry about it." I narrow my eyes at my last remark, and he looks down.
"Second of all," He continues, "I want us to sort out what's going on."
"So do I," I say with sarcasm, "Because it seems like you and Twelve didn't run your interviews through each other."
He scowls at my remark. I cross my arms over my chest, waiting for an answer.
"I should ask you then," He retaliates, "Are you two an alliance?"
"No." I say without skipping a beat.
"Are you two hiding something?"
"No."
"Did you know he was going to say what he said tonight?"
"No. I knew just as much as I knew what you'd say." I reply icily. He narrows his eyes.
"And are your feelings mutual to his confession?"
I open my mouth to answer 'no' again, but stop. Were they? Alexander Romulus was a creature I would never think twice of, ever. But in these short 4 days, I've learned to be his friend, maybe even more. His smile, his eyes, his charm- they enticed me. But I still couldn't bring myself to think of each other as more than two tributes who know one another.
Demetrius sighs. "Is that a yes?" He asks exasperatedly.
Glancing down, I shake my head. "It's…it's an-"
And then he kisses me again.
It's a short kiss, but a hard one. I feel myself getting pushed back onto the banister when he breaks the kiss, his forehead on mine. I look up at him, flustered.
"Why-"
Without missing a beat, he moves away from me, heading for the elevator. I turn to grab his arm.
"Stop. Demetrius, stop!" I shout. He stops.
"Why do you do that?" I scowl at him, "Why do you show me feeling that make no sense to me and then run from them?"
He turns away, shaking me off, but I run and stand before him. He narrows his eyes.
"Forget it, Lillianne-"
"No! I won't forget it! You've kissed me enough times for me to start to wonder what's going on! Is there something you need to tell me?"
His eyes search my own for a few seconds. He shakes his head with another sigh.
"There's nothing, Lillianne. Now come on, we need sleep." He sidesteps me and I grab his shoulder.
"Demetrius, this is probably the last time we'll talk before tomorrow. Tell me what's going on in that head of yours!"
"I told you, there's nothing left to say!" Demetrius shouts angrily, shaking me off again brusquely.
I stop him at the frame of the glass door leading to the small elevator room. He growls. My hands grab onto both sides of the door, holding my body upright. "Would it kill you to answer me once in a while?"
"It would!" He shouted at my face. He was incredibly close. We could see our breaths in between us, and he stared at me angrily. "It would get me killed the instant I let my guard down in the arena!"
I scoff. "So that's it? This is about what's going down int he arena? You're using me? To win?"
He rolls his eyes. "As if you didn't know, Lillianne!"
My glare weakened and my eyes widened. "I-"
"It's a game, Lillianne! You and I both know that!"
I froze. I always knew something was up with my District Partner, but I never thought he'd be so…sure. So ready to betray me for survival. My vision began to blur with the tears in my eyes. Demetrius's angry face went into shock. He stepped back and groaned.
"No. You didn't."
But I had. He head earned my trust, even if it was a fraction of it. I believed in him, and even though he was suspicious to me, I believed him to an extent. I hadn't fallen for him, oh no- I had started to trust him. To think of him as a friend. I felt bad because of his sudden crush on me. I felt bad because I thought I had been so blind. Because I had been so ignorant. But it was all…a lie.
"I should've known." I whispered. "No. I shouldn't have been so stupid."
My arms fell from their place, hanging loosely by my sides.
"Lillianne, I thought-" Demetrius's voice softened, "I thought we were on the same page. I thought you…understood."
"I thought so too." I answered. He came to me.
"You want the truth?" He asked. "Here's the truth. You and me, there's nothing. You and me aren't anything. We aren't lovers, we aren't friends- But to them, to them we're something. To them, we could be the love story of a century. We could be better than Twelve. We could go home. And then you and me will never have to see each other again."
Stepping a little closer to me, he continues. "Gloss told me that making you fall for me will ensure me a win. The gamemakers will go soft. And your grandfather…he'll thank me for keeping you alive. But I don't love you. I don't even like you. If none of this would've happened, we'd still be the same. I'd live my own life, and I'd bother you to go live your own. I wouldn't have kissed you, ever. I wouldn't have to hold your hand. I wouldn't have to smile at you like an idiot from afar ever, for the rest of my life!"
Finally, we're an inch apart. "But here we are, the lovers of District One! What can we do about it? Keep faking! Even if we did for the rest of our lives, I can't deny the fact that in reality, you mean nothing to me!
He shouts the last part in my face. Without my consent, a tear falls down my cheek. Another soon follows. I stare at his mad face, huffing and puffing as if it took a lot to say what he just did.
And with all the force in the world that I could possibly muster at the moment, I punch him in the face.
He staggers backward, holding his nose. Then I retaliate with the words that have come to my mouth.
"You, of all people- I trusted you! I believed in you! I almost even liked you! You had no right to play with my feelings- I don't care if that's the only way we'd win!"
He peered over the hands holding his nose, eyes watery and red. I came up to his face. "You're a low-life. You think you can play the role of protector? You thought you could fool me for the Games? I saw right through you! But I was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid! You had no right, absolutely no right to make me feel bad for you because you had some fake crush on me! You're a liar! A fake! A jerk! I took PITY on you! I BELIEVED YOU!"
Demetrius wipes his eyes. His nose is bleeding a bit, and purple starts to grow around his eyes and nose.
"We're done here." I say, finally, putting my pointing finger down. "I'll see you in the arena."
Tears are still falling from my face when he calls out to me. I stop.
"Remember, you're a career!" He shouts. "You still have to deal with me, wether you like it or not!"
I press the glass elevator's button with force and the door closes behind me. But even that doesn't prevent me from hearing him shout his last sentence.
"And you better hope I don't get my hands on your little friend Alex!"
So...review please? c: