Hello, sorry for taking forever to update. I know it's a pain to wait so long for each chapter, I am a reader too. However, I couldn't write and that's that. I would have update singer if I could. Thanks for being faithful and continue reading this story. I hope the next chapter will not take this long. Thanks for the reviews and the read :)

Ps. In case you have read my note from love lust attraction, I returned the laptop because the video quality was not the best and it was skipping. I don't have a laptop and its a pain to write without keyboard.

Taraah36: I know it's been so long since I last told you I would try to update this story, which I did my best, but still took me forever. Hope you are okay with the chapter. :)

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She was in love, and that terrified her. It should not be that way. Such sweet notion should not make a person felt so afraid.

She was in love but with the last person she should be giving her heart to. Sesshomaru was her captor. He was the one who had taken everything from her, her family, her peaceful life, her future, her purity, and even taken her emotions away from her. Sesshomaru would never return her love.

Ever!

Loving Sesshomaru was a mistake, she had zero to gain but everything to lose. She would only end up hurting herself. She had been so sure she could not be hurt again after locking her emotions away. She did not even mind when the demoness was forcefully but slowly ripping the life out of her. She could care less then if she died. She did not care about anything or what might become of her.

However, that was no longer true. Her armor, her indifferentness and her lack of emotions, was stripped off from her because her betrayal heart had snuck behind her back and fell in love with Sesshomaru.

She could already see her whole future playing before her eyes. It was not difficult to guess how it would end. Nao would be madly in love with Sessshomaru while the demon lord would throw her away once he was tired of her. This was nothing new; she had always knew that this was how her life would end. However, she was no longer the girl who could not feel. This time she knew her heart would shatter into tiny pieces when he finally discard of her. It would kill her.

She did not know how to handle with this situation, these overwhelm feelings. Her treachery had fallen for the person who would only return her love with pain.

She hated herself for loving him and loved him more than she believed a broken spirited person like her was capable. At this moment she knew she would never be free from him. Sesshomaru was not only the captor of her body, but her heart as well. So she did the only thing she could, cry.

Sesshomaru did not say anything, he seemed to be at a lost too, but he held her close. His embrace was firm yet so tender that she was afraid she would fool herself to believe that he cared, that she was more than just a passed time toy.

He did not cared about her, Nao told herself. It was impossible. She refused to allow herself to believe that he might saw her as more than just an object. She refused to give him so much power over. To love, to trust, and to believe in someone again was too risky. Once she allowed herself to believe in someone, she would began to trust that person, she would began to expect, and began to hope, and once she were betrayed, the pain would be that much greater. She had learned her lesson and refused to let anyone had that power over her again. However, it was not her options to choose. Her disloyal heart had already enslaved itself to Sesshomaru. It was no longer under her control. She knew what it meant and that terrified her.

She kept on crying because that was the only thing she could do. She cried as if a new born coming out to see the world for the first time, cried without any restriction or shame. She was once again just a vulnerable woman.

Sesshomaru held her firmly within his arms.

She hated it. She hated how safe those arms made her felt, as if nothing in the world could harm her. She hated that she loved the feeling of his hands wrapping around her as if declaring he would always be by her side and would never let her go. And what she hated even more was that she did not want him to let go. She hated that she found the sound of his sturdy heartbeats so soothing as if she was listening to a gentle lullaby. She hated that she felt so happy and warmed that he did not leave her even when she was crying hysterically. And what she hated the most was the realization of how much she had come to love him, that she could no longer live without Sesshomaru.

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Nao opened her hazel eyes to the soft sunlight filling inside the elegant room. She found that the pair of strong arms were still wrapping around her as if they were afraid she would vanish had they let her go. She had cried herself to sleep. And as it had appeared, the demon Lord had yet to leave her side. She studied the room and came to the conclusion that it was late into the evening. The direction of the sunray told her so.

She looked up to the demon Lord's handsome face. His expression was as guard as always, giving nothing of his thought away. He never did.

"How are you feeling?" he spoke for the first time since she started crying last night. His eyes softened ever so slightly, but she did not fail to capture that detail.

Her gaze fixed on his face, the face that she had seen countless times, but had never really truly looked at. She studied the structure of his near-perfection face, his fair skin, his straight nose, his soft lips that she had kissed more times than she could count, his elegant cheekbones that made him so alluring, his intense golden eyes that were now kept her captivated.

Gently, she lifted one of her hands toward his face; her thumb ran lightly across his cheekbone under an eye, her hand capping his cheek.

The demon lord's stoic face expressed surprised for a millisecond, but did not stop her or move away. It was hard to tell with his emotionless face, but he was waiting with anticipation for what she would do next.

Nao smiled.

Sesshomaru's eyes widened for the second because he never expect this. It was the first time she had smiled and not just smiled, but smiling at him.

"I love you." She confessed to him.

Once again, the demon lord was at a total lost. She could see the surprise look on his face. She smiled at him again reassuring him that she was sincere about her feeling.

It had been an overwhelming night and a roller coaster ride of emotions for her. She did not know what would happen next and did not expect a happy ending. She knew that she would get hurt and possible it would break her to the point of no return. She knew what she had gotten herself into, and her ending would be a painful one. There was no happy ending for her.

However, she refused to live the rest of her life feeling terrified. She was done living in fear. The moment she woke up indide the arms of the demon Lord whom she now loved, she decided she would live her life to the fullest. She had been hurt, betrayed, used, but she would not let that stop her. She would live what was left of her life with no regret. So she decided to love him.

She loved Sesshomaru. She would not hide behind her insecurity and buried her feelings. It did not matter what Sesshomaru thought of her or felt about her. It did not matter that the demon would never love her back. It did not matter at all what the world thought of her. Her resolution was to love Sesshoamru. She would love the demon with her whole heart; the heart that she thought had died a long time ago. She would love him with everything she got until her heart content.

If sshomaru were decided to kill her tomorrow, so be it.

She would embrace it with no regret and died with a smile on her face.

Because it was what her heart desire and the choice she made with her own freewill.

She chose to love him.

Thursday, April 16, 2015