A week after the fireworks incident, Harry was working on a Charms essay in the Gryffindor common room when a tapping noise directed his attention to the window. Outside hovered three owls, two carrying a long, tubular package between them while the third bore a letter. Curious, Harry opened the window to let the birds in and was startled to see his own name on the envelope. He quickly relieved all three owls of their burdens, closed the window once they'd set off for the Owlery, and sat down to examine the parcel. Deciding he probably ought to open the letter first, he tore open the envelope and read the short message within:
Dear Harry,
This issue officially goes on sale tomorrow, but I thought you should have an advance copy. See page 32 for an easy way to get rid of the Blibbering Humdingers that no doubt followed the owls – they're rather fond of fresh ink and I think the magazine will be enough to entice them.
Regards,
Luna
Harry couldn't help the laugh that escaped as he read Luna's message – he'd definitely grown fond of the blonde Ravenclaw over the last few months, but he couldn't deny that she was rather quirky. Now that he knew what was in the package, though, he hastened to open it, popping the end off the tube and carefully extracting the magazine within. He nearly gasped at the image on the cover, not having been prepared for how utterly perfect it was – a series of hands were gathered in a circle similar to how a sports team might come together for a pre-game chant, except the hands in this photo were clenched into fists, and the black-and-white image threw the scars on each hand into sharp relief. Harry's own hand was part of the circle, and he made a mental note to compliment Colin Creevey – the boy really did have incredible photography skills. The banner above it was simple and didn't mention Umbridge's name at all, but Harry suspected that wouldn't matter – the photo alone was more than enough to capture people's attention. Eager to see if Rita Skeeter's article did the photo justice, Harry found the table of contents and flipped to the indicated page, his eyes rapidly scanning the text.
The Dark Side of Detention: What's Really Happening at Hogwarts
Just over six months ago, Dolores Umbridge, then Senior Undersecretary to Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge, accepted the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This appointment was met with great enthusiasm by parents who were concerned about their children's shaky education in the subject – indeed, Madam Umbridge is the fifth Defense instructor in as many years. She took on the role of Hogwarts High Inquisitor shortly thereafter, and was most recently appointed Albus Dumbledore's replacement when the latter left Hogwarts in mysterious circumstances. This rapid rise to power has yet to be called into question, and shocking new evidence suggests that this oversight might be our biggest mistake to date.
Detention is a standard punishment at Hogwarts, meant to discourage rule breaking and other unacceptable behavior – incorrectly mixing potions ingredients in ways that could be harmful, repeatedly neglecting homework, or pranking other students, to name a few. Specific punishments vary depending on the offense, but writing lines has always been a popular choice, so fifth-year student Harry Potter was not surprised when he was presented with said punishment in a detention with Professor Umbridge last fall. What did surprise him, however, was the exchange of his own quill for one belonging to Professor Umbridge, and the repercussions of using said quill – though Mr. Potter did not have a name for it at the time, he now knows the device to be a blood quill.
Blood quills are both highly controversial and illegal. Inky black in appearance, these quills do not require ink, instead drawing blood from their victim as the user writes on parchment. In the early seventeenth century, blood quills were banned at Hogwarts when an out-of-control malicious prank caused the death of a sixth-year student, and the Ministry of Magic declared them illegal in Britain just over a century later. In spite of the ban, however, there is no denying that the scar on Mr. Potter's hand is the work of a blood quill – 'I must not tell lies' is etched into his skin as clear as day. In addition, Mr. Potter is far from the quill's only victim – what follows is the firsthand account of nearly fifty students' experiences with this deadly device.
"I almost decided not to stop in today," a third-year admitted as we sat down to speak. The boy was trembling from head to toe and begged me not to print anything further than his class year, clearly terrified of the consequences should his name or house be unveiled. "I only had two detentions with [Professor Umbridge], but this scar will stay with me for the rest of my life."
And indeed, the brands I saw were as varied as the students who bore them – lying, homework, and respecting elders were just a few of the many topics I saw, and unless an as-of-yet unknown miracle cure for scars comes into play, these students will bear the mark of their misdemeanors forever.
The article continued in this vein for several more pages, each consecutive interview as gruesome as the last. Just as Hermione had promised, the article was full of pictures of students displaying their scars, and a long list gave the details of those students who were unable to be interviewed. Finally, Harry reached the conclusion:
This sinister practice has obviously gone unnoticed for some time, but now that the secret is out, we can only wonder – what else is Dolores Umbridge willing to do to retain her power? Have we made a mistake by allowing her such unrestricted access to our children? And more importantly – now that we know the truth, how can we let her continue to do so?
"Perfect," Harry said, grinning to himself as he closed the magazine. Rita really had kept her promise – cold, hard facts without any wild speculation or unnecessary embellishment. He allowed himself one last study of the front cover before rolling up the magazine and carefully stowing it in his bag, then scribbled a quick charmed parchment message to Draco and Hermione before heading upstairs to bed. Tomorrow was going to be interesting…
The first half of breakfast the next morning was like any other – some students talked quietly with friends, some stared bleary-eyed into plates of eggs and sausage as they nursed steaming cups of coffee, and some lazily flipped through textbooks as they gave a final attempt at grasping whatever it was they were learning that day. Harry took the empty seat between Ginny and Seamus, Hermione and Neville across from them, and poured himself a bowl of cereal and a tall glass of juice. Anxious though he was for the post to arrive, it was imperative that he act as casual as possible – Umbridge was bound to notice if he did otherwise.
Finally, the rustle of wings caught his attention, and he looked up to see the normal dozens of owls soaring through the Great Hall as they sought out various students. A glossy magazine fell into Lee Jordan's lap, narrowly missing his scrambled eggs, and as Harry glanced around the room to see more of the same, he realized that Luna must have sent a copy of the Quibbler to every student who'd participated in the interviews. Gasps and whispers rippled through the room as people took notice of the headline, pages ruffled as they flipped to the article, and indignant protests were heard as nearby friends and classmates demanded to know what was going on – Harry could even see some students grabbing the interviewees' hands and examining them intently, as if they couldn't believe what they were seeing. He took a chance and glanced up at the high table – Umbridge's narrowed eyes were fixed on the students, and it was clear she wanted nothing more than to stand up and demand that they explain the sudden commotion. However, the bell rang and sent everyone hurrying to their lessons before she could do anything.
By lunchtime, it was clear that Umbridge knew what had happened – if the rumors were to be believed, she'd confiscated and burned nearly a dozen copies of the magazine, given a week's worth of detentions to every student she'd caught reading it, and had already pushed through yet another decree that would expel anyone else she found to be in possession of the article, but nobody quite believed any of it. The students, who'd been empowered by the Weasley twins' fireworks display, were determined to stay one step ahead of their horrible headmistress and had spread around a charm that made the Quibbler look like pages from a Charms textbook if anyone but themselves read it – that the charm had been suggested by Flitwick himself was as of yet unconfirmed, but given that the teachers hated Umbridge only marginally less than the students did, it was definitely believable. Regardless of whether it had actually been banned or not, the threat of it only ensured that every single student at Hogwarts had read the article by morning break. The true extent of the damage, however, wasn't apparent until lunchtime, when a lone owl appeared in the Great Hall. Students and staff alike paused to watch the bird as it circled lower – post delivery usually only happened once a day, so everyone was very curious as to who the bird was after. As the owl approached, Harry recognized the snowy feathers of his own Hedwig, but his affectionate smile turned to an apprehensive gulp as he noticed the bright red envelope clutched in her beak.
"Best get it over with, mate," Neville advised as Harry accepted the envelope, which had begun to smoke. He fed Hedwig a bit of meat from his sandwich and stared hard at the envelope for a long moment before finally nodding and releasing the flap.
"HARRY JAMES POTTER!"
Harry had heard of Howlers, but he'd never actually heard one. His mother's voice, magically magnified to decibels that would've sent Fang running for the hills, echoed off the walls of the Great Hall, and many students visibly cringed or covered their ears.
"HOW DARE YOU KEEP SOMETHING LIKE THIS FROM US, DON'T YOU KNOW HOW HORRIFIED I WAS WHEN I SAW THAT ARTICLE-"
The Howler continued to shout for all it was worth, but the rest of its message was drowned out by the arrival of yet another round of owls, all of which headed straight for Umbridge. Easily two dozen birds were already dropping their envelopes, many of them scarlet, onto Umbridge's plate, and more were coming in. Umbridge tried to shoo them away, but the owls held firm and delivered their letters. Howlers, of course, only stayed still for so long, and there was a veritable explosion of noise as six or seven of them went off at once:
"NEVER, IN ALL MY YEARS HAVE I HEARD OF ANYTHING SO DESPICABLE-"
"MY SON IS PERMANENTLY SCARRED BECAUSE OF YOU-"
"I'VE ALREADY WRITTEN TO THE MINISTRY DEMANDING AN EXPLANATION-"
"I WAS NEVER TOO SURE ABOUT YOUR APPOINTMENT TO BEGIN WITH, BUT THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR-"
"I'LL SEE YOU IN FRONT OF THE WIZENGAMOT IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO-"
Umbridge tried everything, but the Howlers just kept coming, shouting out their contents for everyone to hear before exploding in little clouds of ash and shredded red parchment. Many students were trying – and failing – not to laugh at the headmistress's predicament, and the rest of the staff remained fixedly in their seats – Professor McGonagall's lips were twisted in her best 'good riddance' expression, Professor Flitwick was conversing animatedly with Professor Sinistra, presumably about the Howlers, and even Professor Snape wore a highly uncharacteristic, amused smirk of satisfaction.
"I told you not to keep this from your mum," Hermione said cheekily as the last Howler finally burst into flames. Harry rolled his eyes and kicked her under the table, then bit his tongue to keep from laughing aloud at the sight of Umbridge, her eyes wide and her fluffy cardigan covered in ash and soot.
The icing on the cake, however, came later that night in the form of a special edition of the Evening Prophet. The students cheered when they read the headline, and the professors made no move to stop them:
DOLORES UMBRIDGE SUSPENDED FROM HOGWARTS PENDING FURTHER INVESTIGATION, TRIAL DATE TO BE DETERMINED.
A/N: Oh, Howlers are fun to write...hope you all liked the chapter!
Thank you for the follows/faves/reviews, & for reading! Keep letting me know what you think.
JKR owns all things Potter, I just play. Please R&R, & enjoy! :)