Summary: This is Hermione and Draco's final year at Hogwarts. They are Head Girl and Head Boy and share living quarters. Neville overhears them having an argument.

Disclaimer: This is a work of (fan) fiction using the world and characters of Harry Potter belonging to J.K. Rowling. Only the plot belongs to me.

Rating: T

Genre: humor/romance

Characters: Hermione G., Draco M., Neville L.

A/N: This story is AU and OOC. - Reviews not necessary but always welcomed!

Ron's is Bigger

Neville had just reached the Head's tower when he heard the yelling. He cringed slightly as he wasn't looking forward to walking into the middle of another argument between the Head Boy and Head Girl. As he stepped up to the entrance of their common room, he realized the portrait guarding it was slightly ajar which explained why he could hear them so clearly. Just as he was about to knock, he caught what was being said and stood there with his mouth wide open in shock.

Inside the Head's common room

Hermione let out an exasperated sigh. "Merlin, why do you have to be an arse about it? I just said that Ron's is bigger. I don't know what the big deal is, Draco." She gave him a piercing stare and continued, "Why do you even care?"

Draco didn't normally give a shite about anything to do with the weasel but the way Hermione had stated the size of it infuriated him. As if she'd know anything about it. "It's not the size that matters, Granger. It's all in how you handle it." He stalked closer to her, backing her up against the wall.

The witch was not about to be intimidated by the Slytherin so she stood as tall as her petite frame allowed, pointing her chin out defiantly. "It shouldn't matter. I mean, Ron is taller so his should be bigger." She taunted with smirk.

The blond wizard just shook his head in disbelief. "How do you even know if it's bigger? Personal experience? I thought you two weren't that close anymore." Draco retorted with a sneer.

Hermione's cheeks reddened slightly. "So what if I have? It's none of your business, is it? Not like you've offered me use of yours." She huffed.

Outside the Head's portrait

Neville's eyes were in danger of popping out of his head as he continued to eavesdrop on the fight between the Gryffindor and Slytherin. He knew that he needed to deliver a message from the Professor McGonagall but he didn't want to get in the middle of the two hot heads. Especially if they started to hex one another. So he just continued to stand there, unenthusiastically listening.

Inside the Head's common room

Draco couldn't believe what he heard. Did the sexy bookworm just complain that he hadn't offered her use of his? The wizard placed his hands on the wall on either side of her head, trapping her. His eyes softened and his sneer changed to a genuine smile. "Is that what you want, Hermione?" He asked huskily. "Just say the word and I'll let you. In fact, I'll insist."

Hermione couldn't seem to concentrate on anything but Draco's beautiful stormy eyes and all that she saw in them. She slowly licked her lips which seemed to fascinate the blond that was towering over her. "I have never had personal experience with Ron's. I was just going by what he had said." She bit her bottom lip and looked down, the blush on her cheeks deepening.

Draco felt a great sense of relief when he heard her confess that she hadn't any familiarity with Ron's equipment. He watched as she bit down on her bottom lip and it made him almost groan out loud. Did she have any idea how arousing that was? He leaned in a bit closer and Hermione placed her hands on his chest, not pushing him back but gripping his quidditch robes. "Tell me Hermione. Tell me you want mine." He demanded.

Hermione felt the heat between herself and the strikingly attractive wizard in front of her. Her hands tightened on his robes as she answered, "Yes, Draco. I want to grab yours with my hands and put it between my legs and then ride it until I scream!"

Just as she finished her sentence, Draco's mouth came crashing down on hers. He licked the seam of her lips and she parted them so he could push his tongue inside of her mouth, dueling with hers. As they deepened their kiss, a loud squeak and thump were heard from right outside the entrance. Reluctantly they parted in order to find out what or who was outside their common room.

Neville was on the floor in a heap. Hermione pulled out her wand and cast "Rennervate" on him. The heads watched as he regained consciousness and looked around. When he spotted them, he slowly stood.

Draco no longer held his old prejudices but he couldn't help but tease the other wizard. "What's the matter, Longbottom? Just realizing how bloody good I look in my quidditch gear?" He smirked.

The witch swatted the head boy in the arm which earned her a frown from him. She turned to her fellow Gryffindor, "Are you okay, Neville?" She inquired kindly.

Neville nodded for a bit until he realized the two heads were observing him expectantly. He suddenly remembered the disagreement he had overheard and his eyes immediately widened. "Uh, that is to say..." he stammered. "I mean, Professor McGonagall wants to see you both." He began nodding again and walked away before Hermione or Draco could respond.

"Well, that was interesting." The Slytherin remarked. Quickly putting it out of his mind, he turned to the brunette and drawled, "Now where were we?" He leant down to capture her lips with his but she side stepped him.

Ignoring his scowl, she began walking down the corridor. "First we see the professor and then I'll come watch your practice. I want a ride after you're done." She insisted giving him a wink.

Draco was no fool so he smartly followed the head girl towards McGonagall's office and enjoyed the view from behind. Abruptly, he stopped as a sudden thought occurred to him. "We were talking about broomsticks, right?" He asked.

Hermione giggled as she turned to face him. "Only when I said that Ron's was bigger." She spun back around and continued towards their destination.

Draco couldn't help the immediate tightening of his pants when she had shared that tidbit of information. "Sweet Circe's left tit! Wait up, Hermione!" He called as he ran to catch up with her.

The End