AN: Part of this chapter deals with the abuse Danni and Daryl suffered when they were kids. It's NOT happy stuff, but I'm putting it in as another example of how far they've come and how healing their relationship is. It's not extremely graphic; just a heads up in case it's triggering.
I also want to Thank You all so much for reading- I am really loving and appreciating the reviews and convos with so many of you :)
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"You better be waiting out here to tell me Truly is gone!" Daryl shouted, stalking toward Rick, swinging his arms in a gesture of defiant exasperation.
Rick was standing beside the porch waiting for Daryl to emerge from the house, expecting this reaction. Rick was caught between a rock and a hard place as the cliché goes. He felt for Daryl and understood his point of view, but if he didn't work this out with Herschel the group's place at the farm would be threatened. He was also concerned that this might damage his own growing relationship with Daryl.
"Hold on Daryl. I'm going talk to Herschel now."
"Talk to Herschel? Hell you got to talk about?"
"He doesn't believe Truly took the shot on purpose."
"Think I care what he believes? Damn people...why am I the only one around here who gets anything done. Go on and have a nice chat with Herschel. I'm getting rid of her!"
"Daryl, I'm handling it!" Rick grabbed his shoulder. Daryl pivoted and turned under his grip, pushing Rick almost to the ground. "Get off me! You can't stop me!"
"I won't let you do this! I know you're upset, but it's a delicate situation. I need time!"
"Time? Didn't take you for being such a dumb son a bitch gettin' played like this. She don't make mistakes, she's too good a shot. Wasn't no accident!"
Rick twisted Daryl's arm behind him, stopping him from continuing to fight. Daryl broke from his grip and pushed Rick back against the porch railing.
"What if it were Lori and Carl, huh, how much time you need then?"
"Okay, I get it!"
"You get it? Bullshit! Cause it don't seem like the bitch'd still be here if it had been your family." Daryl stepped back adding, "Your blood." He glared at Rick, tense with frustration. "Hell, I already lost enough cause of you damned people." Merle "Aint losing anything else!"
"Let my do this my way. If I can't make Herschel see-"
"I don't care about Herschel! Hell I don't care 'bout any of y'all! That woman is leaving now." He turned to stalk off just as Truly rounded the corner of the porch.
"Saving me a trip?" Daryl charged her. "I know what you done!"
"Dale!" Rick called seeing him out of the corner of his eye. The two men were able to hold Daryl back, but barely.
"It was an accident I didn't mean it." Truly defended herself with a pout and little girl voice.
"You're too good a shot for that...you can't tell me you-"
"Thanks, I am." She stood hands on her hips, tossing her hair back.
"I should kill you!"
"You won't do that." She smiled at him.
"Right, that'd be too easy on you. I'm gonna blindfold you, hog tie ya and dump you with nothin' so far out in those woods even I couldn't track my way back!"
"Herschel won't let that happen." She came closer to Daryl. "Nothing I like more than a man riled up like this. Madder than a puffed toad cause of little 'ol me? It's a real turn on if ya ask me. A real turn on. Aw Daryl, what you want with that girl anyway? She looks like she was rode rough and put away wet."
She was so smug that Daryl nearly extracted himself From Rick and Dale as he growled "Goddamned bitch!"
"You are out of line Truly!" Dale shouted.
"Daryl, You need to listen to me." Rick hissed as he and Dale wrestled Daryl to the ground. "She'll go; give me a day. If she's not gone in a day, its yours."
Daryl heard Merle's voice in his head. What have I done told you little brother, never get into a wrestlin' match with a pig. You're both gonna get muddy, and chances are, the pig likes it.
Daryl stood, brushing himself off, fury still flashing in his eyes.
"Fine. You got one day." Daryl agreed still angry. He turned toward Truly as he spoke "But keep her locked up or something! If she comes near me and Danni, I might just become a real bad shot myself."
Daryl headed toward his own camp and not Truly's. Carol had insisted on walking Danni back after Herschel finished treating her wound. Carol really cared about her; he never forgot back in the first week in the old camp when she'd stood up for Danni while the other women tore her down.
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"Daryl's worried about you." Carol sat across from Danni next to the campfire.
"He doesn't have to." She said checking the cartridge in the gun Shane had given her. "I may not hunt, but I know how to shoot." Her voice became defiant. "No one, not Truly or anybody else is ever getting the jump on me again." Danni's voice grew resentful. "Part of me wants to go after her now. Carol, she tried to kill me! Kill me... and I'm just sitting here."
"What's stopping you?" Carol was relieved, but she had to admit, surprised Danni hadn't confronted Truly.
"Did you ever read 'To Kill a Mockingbird'?"
"Sure, in high school I saw the movie too. A long time ago."
Danni nodded. "There was this thing Atticus said to Scout, when she was getting into fights at school. Something like, 'You just hold your head high and keep those fists down. No matter what anybody says to you, don't you let 'em get your goat. Try fightin' with your head for a change.' So, every time I want to go after Truly I think of that. Believe me, I don't want to back down, but I think... it's the baby. He's stopping me from doing stuff like that now."
"Danni, that is not backing down. By protecting yourself, you're protecting your baby. It's not worth the risk to ever going near that crazy woman again. Promise me you won't."
Danni rolled her eyes "Okay mom, I promise."
"Daryl will handle it. He's talking to Rick now."
"Even that. Let Daryl handle it, let the man do it all. I'm not used to it. I always fought my own battles."
"This battle concerns both of you and I'm sure you handle plenty for him. When you're married you do things for each other. It's not weak, Danni its strong. One of the strongest things you can do is let someone help you."
"Never thought about it like that." She paused. "I won't go looking for Truly, but I'm ready if she comes after me again."
When Danni turned to retrieve another round for the gun, Carol noticed the diagonal reddish-brown, and white scar tissue on Danni's upper back, visible because of the low tank top she had on and the fact that she'd pinned up her long hair.
Danni heard Carol's sharp intake of breath realizing what she'd glimpsed.
"Its okay Carol."
She had suspected Carol's history of abuse from Ed early on. She desperately wanted Carol to know she understood; she didn't want her to feel alone.
"You know, I was born left-handed." Danni mentioned, gently touching the bandage over her aching bicep. "Stepfather number one broke this arm when I was three. While it was in the cast, I used my right hand for everything; I was so young it just stuck. I always wonder what that says about me in terms of having righty and lefty traits. I'm all screwed up I guess."
Carol didn't laugh. Danni continued. "He was the one who did the hitting, breaking and yelling. He'd punch us in the stomach and chest so the bruises wouldn't show. Carol, I know what its like."
The other woman looked down, running her fingers along the hem of her shirt. "I thought you might. Daryl too?"
Danni nodded. "But I don't know the details."
Carol would keep his secret.
"That's why he flinches so easily. I could always tell." Carol's voice was sad, far away.
"You protected Sophia from Ed, but no one protected you. I know what that's like."
"She's my daughter. I'd die for her." Carol explained.
"She's so lucky to have you. I mean it." Danni held her head back to prevent tears from escaping; she'd never known what that kind of mother's love and protection felt like.
Carol was silent knowing Danni needed to continue. "Stepfather two is responsible for this." She added and turned pulling her shirt up giving Carol full view of what she'd only glimpsed earlier. The long scarred slashes covered her upper back. "I know you saw them."
Carol just nodded.
"He used to make me take my clothes off, lay face down on the bed and he'd get real turned on, you know, he'd touch me everywhere, god my skin would crawl, but instead of actually raping me he'd beat me with his belt to stop himself. He said it was my fault that I was making him do it. Called me a slut and a whore and I didn't even know what those words meant at first. I was almost thankful for the whipping, at least it wasn't... what it could have been. Years of that shit. But he never touched my sister. As long as I let him do it to me. I kept her safe Carol. I did." Her tone shifted from disgust to 'please believe me'.
Danni often wore two shirts to school because if the wounds on her back were fresh they'd bleed a little and ooze through the material the next day. She was terrified of anyone finding out. The cuts burned and stung when they dried and stuck to her clothing and she could never lean back in her chair.
"He had this big silver and red Budweiser belt buckle. I'll never forget it. That's why I could never stand that beer. Couldn't pay me to drink it to this day."
"Where was your mother?" Carol sounded shocked.
"In her own world. Remember I told you she was beautiful? She was beautiful, but the only thing that sustained her was male attention. She'd sacrifice anything to get it. Even her daughters."
Carol was horrified. "Couldn't you tell her? She was your mother, she'd have to-"
"The one time I did say something, about the last boyfriend who tried to molest my sister and me, I was thirteen." Danni could hardly say the words. "She told me that if I ever tried to steal her man again she'd kick me out of the house. That's what my mom was like Carol. My sister and I locked ourselves in our bedroom every night. I even pulled a bookcase over our door. He'd be drunk and raging banging on it, threatening to break it down for hours sometimes, until he passed out. I used to tell Tara stories and sing to her to block the bastard out of our heads."
"Have you told Daryl any of this?"
"No. I can't. He's seen my back. He knows something happened. But I can't tell him everything. Not what I just told you. He'd…."
What?"
"He'd be disgusted and I never want him to look at me like that."
"Daryl loves you, he's a good man. He'd understand."
"I spent so long running from the shame. I felt worthless; I hated myself. It made me do stupid things. I picked the wrong guys, I drank too much, took pills when I could get them, I didn't eat enough or I ate too much and stayed messed up all the time. I blocked it out and tried not to feel anything." Danni shook her head but her voice became lighter. "When I started writing songs and playing in bands things changed. Sometimes girls, women would come up to me after a show and say one of my songs helped them, changed their life because I'd made it through and I understood them. I'd never felt anything like it; they validated my pain and I validated theirs. After our album came out I got letters. One was from a girl, thirteen years old, who said I saved her life. She didn't kill herself because of my songs. It was hard to believe, but, Carol, that's when I knew I didn't want it to control me anymore so I tried every day to believe I was better than what those bastards said I was. I was not what they did to me. It wasn't my fault. I started to pull myself together with music. It filled a hole, you know? Then, I met this guy. The only decent one I've ever known besides Daryl. He was into all this Buddhist stuff and he really turned me around. He said I had trauma. Trauma was controlling my life. He was so self-aware and he showed me how to think that way. He gave me back my confidence, taught me about sex, made me like it. He showed me it's about love, trust and fun, not fear, pain, control or punishment. He respected me so I learned to respect myself more. That's why I got the flowers tattooed on my back around the scars. Stephen told me they were a sign that no one could break me. I could make them beautiful, not ugly. I was beautiful. I won."
"He sounds like a good guy.' Carol said softly.
"He was." Danni pulled her knees up and hugged them tightly against her chest. Her voice had quiet dignity as she went on.
"It was one step forward, two steps back and tripping and falling in between. But I feel like I'm getting there. It's still hard sometimes; I'm nowhere near perfect but I'm okay. I refuse to let my past control me and Daryl's another huge reason. But he can't know what happened. He'd feel differently about me."
Daryl did know. He was approaching the tent when he'd overheard them talking. He stopped before they'd seen him and listened to every one of Danni's heartbreaking words. He was angry, thinking about what she'd gone through. Her story unleashed a torrent of memories of his own past. He couldn't see her yet. He headed off into the trees and walked for a while battling his demons. He hated remembering shit.
The first time Daryl actually recalled the violence he must have been, six or maybe seven? Merle was never home anymore; he'd started staying out for days at a time. It was a Saturday morning, his mom was alive then. She was cooking, his Dad, still drunk from the night before, blocked the doorway. Daryl tried to squeeze past him, probably to go and watch cartoons or something. He felt his father's rage as he shoved him across the kitchen into the refrigerator door, the metal handle gouging his back. He lost his balance and fell to the floor. When he'd started to cry, his mother looked up but with no real sense of urgency and asked "Why did you do that?"
"He has to learn he can't bully his way around here!" His father bellowed.
Daryl had no idea what his father was talking about. It was frightening to be punished when you didn't know what you'd done wrong. It got worse as he got older. The first time his father used his belt wasn't long after the kitchen incident. He'd slammed Daryl down on the bed with such force he actually bounced off and landed the floor. His father slung him back up and whipped with frenzied rage.
Then there were the things that his daddy called 'just playing'. Pinching until Daryl had purple bruises, bending his fingers backward, jerking on his arms, twisting his ankles. If he managed to make Daryl cry which was less and less as time went on his father would use the excuse that he was trying to toughen him up. Telling him he a was a no good little shit who'd never be a real man. Ashamed to call such a cry baby his son. Soon he had succeeded in toughening up Daryl's heart. He never cried in front of the old man again no matter how hard he backhanded him across the face or how many bones he tried to break.
Talking back, not talking back, looking at him funny, making too much noise, being home, not being home. Anything could lead to the next whipping. And whatever the reason, it was Daryl's fault. After his mother died in the house fire, the old man and Daryl moved to a trailer. Merle was long gone by then. That meant twelve-year-old Daryl was the only outlet for the drunk son of a bitch's rage. Daryl had a small dark room with a black vinyl couch to sleep on and a metal shelf to store his things but he spent as much time as he could in the woods practicing all the hunting and tracking skills Merle had taught him. Eventually, though, night would fall and he had to go 'home.'
He was alone. He missed Merle, part of him even missed his mother.
He could still feel the raw pain of his shirt sticking to new, open wounds on his back. Waking many mornings to a fresh black eye, and a split lip, the bathroom mirror told him how ugly he was; he looked as bad as he felt. Sometimes he had to pick small shards of glass out of his scalp after the old man broke a whiskey bottle against Daryl's head. But more than anything he hated his back; it got the worst of it with long red gashes, crossing his spine and shoulder blades. All his life he hated being touched with good reason. He flinched, ready to be hit. He realized he didn't do that with Danni. Even when he first met her, his body trusted her before his mind did. He thought about what she'd told Carol and knew why she never wanted anyone behind her. He wanted to kill the son of a bitch who'd done it to her. As much as he wanted to kill Truly.
Fuck Rick and screw his twenty-four hours. The memories of his father infuriated him and he needed to do something with the rage. Truly almost murdered Danni and his son.
As she rounded the corner of the RV, heading back to Sophia inside, Carol saw Daryl's determined, set stride; that, and his stormy expression told her where he was going. She walked in front of him, making him to stop.
"Hey, is she?" He asked about Danni, he hadn't seen her yet.
"She's asleep, she's okay. She was dizzy. She lost a lot blood, needs her rest."
He nodded and tried to move around Carol.
"I'm not letting you go there." Carol, held his arm,
"Mind your own business."
"Daryl, a man like you won't hit, disrespect or mistreat a woman. You'll end up no match for Truly when it comes to a fight. She'll use your code against you."
"Think I'm afraid to teach her some manners? She wants to act like a man, then I'll treat her like a man."
"Daryl..."
He knew Carol was right. He'd never lay a hand on a woman. Even one like Truly. It wasn't him. But he could drive her off the property.
"I have to handle this, leave me be!"
"Give Rick some time. Besides, Danni needs you. You should be with her."
"Bitch almost killed her. Think I'm sitting around waiting for her to try again?" His voice broke and Carol saw him furiously swipe at his eyes to prevent tears.
"We're handling Truly, the group. Let us."
"What?" Daryl tried to process her words.
"We have this. You're not alone Daryl."
He realized it sounded like something Danni would say.
When he furrowed his brows and pressed his lips together. Carol knew he was considering her words.
"For now. Okay?" She said gently.
Carol was not completely surprised by his next words. "I heard her, talking to you earlier. Didn't mean to I just..." He looked in her eyes. "What do I do?"
"Just be with her." Carol said gently. "C'mon," she steered him back toward his camp.
He grabbed at a stalk of long grass and started chewing on it as they walked. For some reason he found Carol easier to talk to than anyone besides Danni.
"You're making her feel a lot better about stuff. Baby things." He said.
"I'm glad. That girl needs someone to mother her once in a while. More than once in a while. I'll keep an eye on her."
He nodded. Carol had a feeling he wanted to talk about more than Danni.
"Daryl?"
"Sorry. About what I said a couple of weeks ago. When that Randall kid was here." His voice had the similar, soft raspy tone as when he spoke to Danni.
"I know you are."
He looked up relieved, almost like a little boy getting approval.
"I hear you two tied the knot."
"Danni tell you that?"
"No, Sophia did. She's taking credit for the whole thing."
Daryl nodded again his smile becoming more relaxed. "That kid's gonna take over the damn world someday."
"Why don't you and Danni move down here with the rest of us. It would be safer for both of you. For everyone. Who knows what that woman is capable of."
He looked uncomfortable again.
"its time, Daryl. You've more than earned your place."
She put her hand gently on his arm. He looked down at her sideways, as if asking her why she would think of doing it. Why she'd be so kind to him? He didn't pull away for a few seconds.
When he did, Carol said, "Your wife is waiting for you, go on," With a warmth and affection he wasn't used to from anyone other than Danni.
Dusk was upon them, earlier now as Autumn was in full swing. Carol pulled her sweater, tightly around her herself against the evening chill and watched Daryl walk away, head down, shoulders forward. She gazed at the wings on the back of his leather vest, feeling deep sadness. What happened to him?
... ... ...
The candlelight cast shadows and flickered and jumped as if wild, invisible spirits were daring the flames higher. The house was finally quiet after a day of feeding and changing and soothing the infants. She was exhausted and hoped they'd sleep for at least an hour. Sitting in bed, backs against the headboard they finally had time for each other.
Daryl held an old hardcover copy of W.B. Yeats collected poems. The page was open to the one Brigid told Danni her grandfather proposed with. When Danni had first shown it to him, Daryl became serious and said, "I get it."
He hated reading out loud, but every once in a while he would, only this poem, only to her. His voice was at once soft and sandpaper rough, tender and tough, hinting at the intense emotion always just below his surface.
Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
She moved up to kiss him. Then she lay her head on his shoulder, face against his neck. "You've given me everything I ever wanted. Everything."
She knew she had his heart and his soul because he trusted her to keep them safe. He tilted her chin up so she'd continue kissing him. He pushed the book aside and moved on top of her, pulling her evenly beneath him. As she started to get lost in his touch the first cries came from the room next to theirs. She sighed, "I got this," but he got up and followed her anyway. Like he always did.
Brigid sent him to me.
Daryl heard her mumble something like "I got this."
She was sleeping on her right side, so she wouldn't accidentally lean on her injured arm, face turned to him. He watched her breath, wondering if she was with him in one of her dreams. When her eyes finally opened she looked lost for a minute, then focused on him. She sat up quickly.
"Why did you ask me about twins the other day?"
He shrugged. "No reason."
"My dream, just now, I think it was saying get ready for Bonnie and Clyde."
He finally admitted, "All right, I had one of you damn dreams. You, the house, our boy, but there was girl too."
Danni remembered that some of her aunts and cousins had given birth to twins. It hadn't seemed to matter before. She began to feel panicky at the thought of more responsibility. Then the poem came back to her. She heard him saying the words I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
"What if it is twins?"
"Shit, guess we're gonna have to trade the bike in for a minivan or somethin'."
She hugged him and wouldn't let go.
"What's going on?" he asked. "Aw, don't start crying. Jesus." He said softly and slightly gruffly as he felt her hot tears on his shoulder. He put his arms around her.
"I'm the one ought to be crying. Merle will kill me. He loves that bike." Then he whispered, "We got this."
She held on tighter.
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The following morning, Carol had her first chance to speak with Rick. "What are you doing about that woman who tried to kill Danni?"
"According to Dale."
"Dale wouldn't lie about something like that."
"I know Carol." Rick was serious. "But Herschel...he won't believe it. Says he's known Truly since she was a baby and refuses to consider her leaving. This whole thing affects our place here at the farm. Whether we stay or not. Do you see what a fix I'm in here?"
"You have to convince him."
"I know Carol, but he's-"
"I wish I'd never voted her in the first place."
"Its Herschel's farm."
"You know it's wrong and dangerous to have her here. She's not one of us."
Rick nodded. "I agree with you Carol. It's a delicate situation and I need to handle it right."
"She has to go."
"She will."
Carol found herself at Truly's tent before she knew it, without thinking twice. She approached the woman who was sitting on the ground, sharpening knives. Carol noticed she always looked like she was posing
"You're on the way out. Rick is talking to Herschel now." Carol said gravely.
"Rick...what's he gonna do? He couldn't hit the broadside of a barn. Herschel don't believe I shot that girl on purpose." She looked up scowling.
"The rest of us know you did."
Truly tossed her head and laughed. "Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles, lady."
Carol's voice got serious. "I could have been dead myself several times over."
"Too bad you're still here then ain't it?"
Carol ignored her and continued. "The reason I'm alive is because people underestimate me. Don't underestimate me. I'm finished playing nice. That girl has been through enough in her life. Daryl too. If you screw this up for them, mess with Danni again, I will slit your throat while you sleep."
Truly almost looked nervous. It was only when Carol turned that she let out a small guffaw.
"I have my eye on you." Carol said as she left.
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"C'mon." Daryl said when he saw her emerging from the tent.
"Where?"
"We're getting out of here. If Rick wants to handle the situation, fine but I ain't waiting around here all day for her to try something else. Bitch best be gone when we get back."
"Where are we going?"
"Away from these damn people."
Danni didn't press, just zipped her hoodie, grabbed her bag and got on the bike behind him. She hugged his hips as best she could, her left arm sore and weaker than the right. She had to lean heavier on him, to stay balanced. They sped loudly down the dirt road away from the farm. Away from Truly.
She soon recognized the deserted Main Street, its old buildings and their vintage signs, gazebo, library and the tree. He parked beside the grassy town square like last time.
He nodded over to the library. "Know you wanted to spend more time in there. Looking for books."
She grabbed his hand and smiled at his thoughtfulness. "C'mon." She said as he let her pull him along behind her.
Daryl was on the Walker alert as always, but this town seemed to be clear of them; they'd moved through.
The quiet of a library soothes more than any other type of silence. Danni felt its muffled, musty quality as thick and comforting as a favorite blanket. Daryl liked the musky book smell and he watched particles of dust floating in the mottled beams of sunlight filtering through the windows as he meandered slowly behind her through the stacks.
She'd accumulated a small pile. Some kids books for Sophia, Cunningham's Incense Oils and Brews that she'd dropped last time, when she was a bit busy with something else. She slipped "The Catcher in the Rye" into her bag to surprise him. And the Yeats.
"You go to college or something?" He asked.
"No. Never made it that far."
"How come you know so much about books?"
"I worked in a second-hand bookstore when I was fourteen. I kept that job for awhile, but also found books on my own. Whenever things were too much, I could always escape into them. I read all the time."
Daryl used to sit out in the woods reading "The Catcher in the Rye" forgetting about the pain, broken bottles, loneliness. His teacher had let him keep the copy he'd been assigned for class as if she knew he'd never have access otherwise. He could hardly believe the world of Holden Caulfield existed. Fancy school, big city. But even in that world Holden felt as alienated and out-of-place as Daryl felt in his own. Struggling with what he thought was right not fitting with what he saw all around him. He' d escape with that book. Until the old man caught him one day and burned it in the back yard with the rest of the things that meant anything to Daryl. He hadn't read much at all after that.
When they, again, sat on the grass in front of the tree that bore their mark, Danni said, "We're married."
He was preoccupied with stabbing his knife into the soft earth and wiping it off with his rag, so she went on. "With all the Truly bullshit, it didn't really have time to sink in."
"So here's where you tell me you want out." Still stabbing, still wiping the blade.
"Yeah and that I made the biggest mistake of my life." She hit his arm. "There's something we need to do."
She rummaged in her bag for her tarot cards.
He no longer questioned her. He believed in her. Still, he wore his amused, tolerant expression and pretended he was skeptical. "This again?" He asked wiping down the blade a final time and putting it back on his belt. He took the deck when she handed it to him. The last time she'd done a pair reading for them was at the CDC. It had told her about the baby. It was time for another.
He shuffled and gave her the deck. She did the same and put it face down. He picked the top card she the one beneath. He turned his own over to reveal the World. She flipped the Moon reversed.
He could see by her face that she was relieved; she looked pleased.
"Good?" he asked.
She nodded and explained the interpretation. "Both major Arcana." Danni pulled out her reference book. She knew the indications but wanted to be as specific as possible since the cards were so powerful. She opened and read aloud. Hers first.
The Moon reversed indicates that you have recently experienced a time of self-deception, illusion, fears and anxiety but these negative energies are beginning to subside. You may have also been dealing with some deeper emotional issues that have previously been sitting beneath the surface. While this has created some discomfort and turmoil as you deal with these deeper issues, you are starting to feel as if a weight has been lifted and that you can be less fearful and anxious about your life situation. You are beginning to work through your inner fears and anxieties, understanding the impact that these have on your life and how you can eventually free yourself from these limiting beliefs. This can be a wonderfully liberating and transformational experience However, when this card is drawn trust your instincts and pay close attention to your dreams. Unforeseen events may be lurking around the corner that will test you.
Danni understood the message clearly. Trust your instincts and pay close attention to your dreams.
Now Daryl. The World.
The World signifies completion, achievement. All of your efforts are finally paying off and you have reached the end of a journey or have completed a major life cycle. You have endured hardships and challenges along the way but these have only made you stronger and much wiser and more experienced than when you started on your journey. A long-term relationship has come full circle and you are now feeling a sense of closure. It could mean a marriage, the birth of a child. Everything has come together, and you are in the right place, doing the right thing. In this sense, the World card also heralds new beginnings that naturally emerge out this completion. You have a strong desire to contribute or to use a special talent to help your community. You are coming from a good place now of love, knowledge and experience and you are ready to share this with others. This card is about a deeper understanding of your role and your impact within a certain environment and where you truly 'fit'. This card can also point to a strong feeling of unity and wholeness in a particular situation.
Daryl felt a slight chill when she described his card. He sometimes couldn't follow all of her conjure messages, but these cards seemed to explain exactly what was going on with them. How the hell does she do it? We're supposed to be here together, doing exactly what we're doing.
They remained quiet deep in thought for a while.
'How's your arm?" He finally asked.
"Sore and it feels worse than Herschel said it would." She paused and held her breath thinking about Truly. "What did you do yesterday? Just talk with Rick?"
He looked troubled. "Yeah. I didn't do nothing. Yet. Damn people. Rick, Carol...I'm giving them till tonight that's it. Then I take care of her my way."
"And what's that?"
"Dump her with nothing, so far out in the middle of nowhere even I couldn't find my way back here."
"Maybe that's what they'll decide on."
"She just needs to be gone."
Danni wondered if he was aware that he was standing their ground, insisting Truly leave, not once considering that they leave.
"I heard you yesterday, talking to Carol. I didn't mean to. I was outside and just heard."
She froze. Her stomach tightened. "Wish you didn't."
He didn't know what to say.
She couldnt meet his gaze when she spoke. "I don't want you to think of me like that. I don't want to be ashamed in front of you."
"Don't have to be."
"You'll look at me differently."
"Have I been?"
"No." She realized. "You haven't."
"Don't change nothing."
She believed him. His eyes hadn't changed.
He wanted to tell her it made him feel closer to her. She'd understand what he went through himself.
She wondered if he'd heard her talk about Stephen. It seemed like he'd missed that part. It was best.
"What about your Nana you always talk about? Wasn't she around?" He asked. "Seemed like she'd kick some ass for ya."
"Brigid was a Traveller. She was only with us for part of summer. The rest of the year, the clan moved across the country following whatever work they could find."
"Couldn't you go with her?"
"Danni shook her head. She was my father's mother so my mother wouldn't let Tara and me go. That and the welfare checks. More kids, more money."
"She should have stayed with you."
"She couldn't. She was the Cailleach, wise woman, and they needed her. But, for that one month in summer when she was there, we lived with her and the rest of the clan. It was the best month of the year. It's when she taught me everything about my...my gift. That's what she called it. She told us the stories of the Celtic myths, showed us the constellations, made me read Gaelic and quizzed me on the goddesses. We could play with the other kids our age; we had so many cousins. We were safe there and I never wanted that month to end. When she died, I was fourteen. We never had the month again."
He felt overwhelmed by her story unsure of what to say, his heart aching at all she'd been through.
"You know you can tell me stuff too. If you ever want to." She said gently.
He squinted at her, then looked away quickly. He took out his knife again and focused on wiping imaginary dirt from the blade.
She knew to let the subject go. She turned to the tree and ran her finger over their carved initials.
"I love this tree. It will be our tree forever. Do you love it?"
Here she goes again. He nodded. "Danni I..."
She looked back at him. "Yeah?"
"I love you." He'd never said those words to anyone before. He looked away, unsure of how she'd react.
"It's about time you said it."
He shook his head, relieved, hoping she'd never change. He knew he was gonna love her for the rest of his life.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..
Danni walked behind him in the dark heading away from the group gathered on the porch. He was tensing with anger, clenching his fists, moving so fast she had trouble keeping up. She didn't try to calm him down or tell him he was overreacting. Not yet. She knew he needed to do this; get it out. The meeting about Truly's fate had not gone well in Daryl's opinion. He wanted her gone that very night. Herschel insisted tomorrow at dawn. Daryl had a bad feeling.
"She'll be gone in the morning." Danni rationalized.
They sat across from each other on the sleeping bag.
"Should be gone now."
"Rick gave you his word. She'll leave at dawn. Hershel will make sure."
"Damn people. They think she's just gonna pack up and walk off on her own? Never should have given Rick time. Should have done it my way." He started to rise angrily to his feet. She grabbed his hand and kneeled before him.
"I can make you stop thinking about it." Still kneeling, she slowly began undress for him. Her arm had started to feel better as the day wore on, and now her need for him masked any pain that lingered. She might be sorry tomorrow, but she couldn't care. It must have been how he'd felt that night after he'd been thrown from the horse. The night she'd conceived.
"It's all fine. She's leaving." She touched his cheek.
She was so beautiful to him; Daryl sat back and ached at the sight of her. He loved that Danni's entire body was the same milky-white skin tone as her face.
Her hand caressed herself all over, first her breasts, then her palm journeyed southward to trace over her slightly round tummy. Daryl was already getting hard from the sight of her body, but watching her made him stiffen more.
There's a big difference between looking sexy and acting sexy. Danni tucked her hair back behind her ears, smiling with anticipation and confidence. When she lowered her gaze and leaned forward he decided that she was one hundred percent of both. She kept her eyes rigidly set on his. She removed his pants. She pushed him back and moved to the bulge in his boxers; it was so close to her face that he could feel her warm breath that it strained.
She pressed her lips to the fabric, kissing him through the thin material. Then her tongue slipped out and began to lick him all over until every square had been treated to the sensation of her tongue.
"Aw fucking hell." he groaned.
"Feel good?" She asked, caressing his hardness and pulling his boxers off as he ran his hands through hair.
"This is only ever for you." She began to suck on him slowly, her cheeks hollowing out as the suction increased. Her lips tightened around his shaft. She loved to make him feel like this; the same way he made her feel.
"Danni," he groaned her name, as the pace increased. Her head was a blur of motion and the increasing suction of her mouth was causing him to become dizzy. Her talents came from the realms of sorcery; she had intensity and passion that he never knew was possible. The magic she conjured with her mouth forced him to wrap his hands in her silky black hair in a desperate struggle to hold on.
He tried to remove himself from her mouth by gripping the sides of her head and pulling gently, but she countered this by slipping her arms around his waist. She ignored the dull ache of her bullet wound, too caught up in what she was feeling. All ten fingers dug into his flesh and he slammed deeper into her mouth.
He finally managed to pull her off. "Not so fast." He sat up.
Soft lips brushed his and she kissed him, moving forward onto his lap, and as her tongue entered his mouth she maneuvered him to her opening and eased a fraction of him inside. She unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off, kissing his chest.
Then, without hesitation her legs scissored around his torso and she jerked his body down onto hers, leaving him nowhere else to go but deep into her. Every last inch. Upon each downward stroke she would rotate and grind against him as if she was trying to press him even further into her body, when in fact he was in as far as he could ever go.
"Look at me." He ordered, as he often did at this moment, a shudder passing through his body as she opened her eyes. Her lips were half-opened, a perpetual pant escaping them. With his full weight pressed against her, her breasts rubbed invitingly against his chest with each rise and fall of her ragged breaths, the nipples stiff and stroking his skin provocatively.
"Oh god, oh god, oh god," she chanted softly, her hips jerking out of sync as she came and he cleansed and healed her body.
There was nothing more satisfying to Daryl than seeing what he did to her. To him, it was almost more gratifying than his own orgasm. He gained confidence watching Danni climax. She never looked as sweet, strong or sexy as when she reacted to him. It was her overall attitude and the way she melted into his body; her arms clutching his neck, the slow rotation of her hips and her throaty gasps of pleasure because of him.
Just as he was about to press his lips to hers, she grabbed the sides of his head and forced his mouth against her tongue. While coasting down from an orgasm she encouraged him to fuck her faster, so he invaded her with renewed vigor.
"Hold on, I want it again." She panted, pulling her tongue from his mouth and kissing his cheek and neck. "I know you'd kill for me." She whispered hoarsely into his ear. The thought of it set her off. "Now, oh god, its...now..." she couldn't finish as her second climax started. For the past few minutes, he'd been teetering on the edge, managing to hold himself back from the inescapable release he so desperately wanted to refrain from.
"Look at me" she panted, echoing him.
Just as his eyes flashed open and he stared into the emerald pools of hers, he finally throbbed and thrust to his finish, Danni healing him, cleansing his body. The satisfied look she gave him and the way her hips continued to wriggle against his and what she'd said made him feel even closer to her if that were possible.
It must have been several hours later when Danni heard rustling outside the tent. It wasn't Fionn kitty, she knew he was with Sophia. He liked to sleep on her feet.
She sat up. Daryl awoke when she moved, being a light sleeper, always ready if he had to be. He threw a shirt on. He always slept in his pants, with his knife holstered to his belt.
"Something is out there." Danni whispered. He listened and heard footsteps. Faint footsteps. Whoever was out there was good at...Truly. Shit, it had to be.
She grabbed her gun and snapped it securely in her belt holster that she buckled around her waist over the boxers she slept in.
"Stay here." Daryl ordered as she stepped into her boots.
Daryl motioned again for her to stay behind in the tent. She compromised, and stood outside the entrance watching him slowly move to the area toward the back where heard the rustling and footsteps.
Danni felt a sharp pain radiate up and down her spine as Truly punched her in the small of her back, pitching her forward. The next thing she knew the woman was on her back grabbing her hair and pounding her head into the ground. She couldn't reach the gun as Truly had her knees pressed into Danni's upper arms immobilizing her. Screaming pain shot through her injured left one. When Truly let go of Danni's hair to reposition, Danni jerked her head back with enough force that her skull broke Truly's perfect nose. Daryl heard the shriek of pain and doubled back.
Danni twisted herself around but before she could rise to her feet Truly fell on her and put her hands around her neck squeezing as tightly as she could. Blood gushed from her nose. When Daryl saw Truly choking Danni and heard her strangled breaths, he was on her in seconds, grabbing the red-head around her waist, ripping her off Danni and tossing her like a sack of flour. Truly hit the dirt, but sprung up and lunged at Danni waving her large bowie-knife. Daryl blocked her, getting his cheek sliced in the process. He stepped to the side, but Truly was as agile and skilled at this as he was. And she was a woman. Carol was right as infuriated as he was he hesitated one second too long before going for her knife and pushing her to the ground. That hesitation enabled her to sucker punch him in the ribs and grab his ear painfully. He stumbled and she brought him down with her. She flipped over on top of him and put the knife to his throat; he couldn't reach his own. Danni saw her blade flash in the moonlight and then his saw his blood. If he moved to push her off he'd force the knife in deeper. Truly was about to slice, this time through his jugular.
Is this some sort of fucking If I can't have him no one will? Danni realized Truly's intent.
A Silver flash of steel, a crimson flow of blood.
"I told you to stay away from my family!" Danni said as she pulled the trigger without hesitation.
It seemed that Truly's body went limp the minute Danni heard the shot crack the night air even before the bullet entered the side of her head.
Daryl rolled out from under her and stood, blood streaming from the knife cuts on his face and neck.
I had to." She said calmly.
"I know." He was breathing heavily. "Good thing too, you just saved my ass." He sounded flip, but his eyes were dead serious.
"I saved us. No one takes what's mine anymore. It was too fucking hard to get here."