Daryl took the gun from her trembling hand. The reality of what she'd done was at once triumphant and terrifying. She killed someone. She knew exactly what she was capable of after feeling powerless for so long. She waited to suffer guilt or regret. Neither feeling afflicted her.
"You okay?" He asked.
"I think so."
"You had no choice." Danni was silent so he asked. "If you had to do it again?"
"Of course."
"You're all right." He told her. "I 'll be a shield for your back and you for mine." He repeated their wedding vow to acknowledge she'd saved his life. She knew he was right; it was just that simple.
Besides, Danni suspected she would have to do it again. Maybe many times over in the future.
"You're a mess." She took the rag from his back pocket and began wiping the blood from his face. He pushed her hand down and pulled her close so she draped herself around Daryl's neck and hung on him. Before her adrenaline completely dissipated, she gasped as agonizing pain abruptly rushed her. Tight cramping low in her pelvis contracted and overwhelmed. It twisted and clenched, taking her breath.
She let go of him. She cried out and doubled over.
"What?" He crouched, seeing her face drained of color, hearing her breath become shallow. When she held her belly, he felt panic.
"Is it?"
"I don't know, I don't know!" Danni shared his alarm. He helped her to sit on the ground. She hunched over waiting for the pain to pass; it didn't. She was shivering, so he grabbed one of his shirts and threw it over her shoulders.
"Can you walk?"
She shook her head, her eyes shut tight. It was all she could do.
Get her to Carol, was Daryl's first thought.
He picked her up.
Rick met them halfway, having heard what he thought was a gunshot from their camp.
"What's wrong?" He saw Danni her face a mask of pain, clutching Daryl as he carried her.
"Bitch tried again. If anything happens to my kids, you're next." Rick thought he heard the word kids, but definitely heard the word next.
"What do you mean next?"
"Told you she should have gone last night. Truly is dead. She tried to kill both of us."
Rick saw Daryl's neck wound. "You mean?"
"I ain't got time for this, something's wrong with Danni!"
... ... .. ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .
Danni lay curled up on the bottom bunk of the RV, Carol's voice soothed her as she clutched her hand. The cramping finally began to subside.
"Better?"
Danni could finally speak. "A little."
"What happened, what did she do?"
"She punched me in the back and pushed me. I landed hard Carol. What if..." she started to cry. When Carol put her arms around her, Danni didn't move away; she held on tightly and sobbed out her fear.
Daryl had taken Sophia outside to give Carol and Danni privacy.
"Don't be worried." The sleepy girl stated and looked up at him.
He couldn't say anything.
"They are okay, you know." She said, then yawned.
"Who?"
"The babies. Nothing happened to them." She picked up Fionn kitty who was rubbing around her ankles.
Daryl's body went cold. Sophia didn't know Danni was pregnant. They didn't want to tell her until another month or two in case, well, in case of this. She must have found out. But how did she know about twins? No one but he and Danni knew that.
"I should tell her." Sophia hopped up the steps.
"How?" He asked again. She patted his shoulder before disappearing inside.
"Danni, don't cry." Sophia sat on the edge of the bunk in front of her mother. Danni moved out of Carol's embrace wiping her tears with the back of her hand.
"I'm just feeling a little sick tonight, that's all."
Sophia's expression became thoughtful and she delicately put her hand on Danni's stomach. "Nothing happened to them." She looked up. "They are both okay, don't worry."
Danni's chest tightened. She'd agreed with Carol not to inform her for another few weeks.
"Did Daryl tell you about them?" Danni figured he must have let it slip being so worried tonight.
Sophia shook her head. "No." She laughed a little and said, "I knew they were there before you did, silly." She softly patted Danni's stomach.
Carol and Danni gave each other quizzical looks over the little blonde head between them.
"When? How?"
"When I was lost and Miss Annette was taking care of me, I had a dream that you were going to be a mommy. Then, when you came to get me and I saw you by the swings I knew there were two babies in you." Sophia smiled. "They'll always have each other to play with. That's good."
Carol's eyes were wide. Finally, Danni asked, "Why didn't you say anything to me before?"
"I thought it was a secret because Daryl is so shy. I can keep secrets you know. I'm really good at it, see?"
... .. ... .. .. .. .. .. .
Rick found Daryl still waiting outside for Danni. He was too worried to go in. He hadn't known what to say to comfort her. He felt useless but at least she had Carol. She'd let him know Danni seemed much better and that she'd finally fallen asleep. She thought the painful incident was brought on by stress. He was lucky to have Carol, too, whether he fully realized it or not.
"Danni must have only wounded Truly." Rick informed him.
Daryl shook his head. "She's dead."
"Well, there's no sign of her body anywhere up there. Could you be wrong?'
Daryl looked genuinely confused. "Nah, no way. She was dead. I wouldn't make a mistake 'bout that."
Rick knew he was right.
"You probably looked in the wrong place. C'mon, lemme show you." Daryl said.
When they reached the spot where Truly's body had been, Daryl was shocked.
"She was right here. How the hell?"
Daryl trained his flashlight on the ground seeing her prints heading toward the woods.
"How the hell?" He repeated himself.
"Daryl, I need to tell you something."
Daryl ignored Rick, still amazed that Truly had managed to survive Danni's shot and drag herself out of his camp. He began following her tracks until Rick shouted.
"Daryl wait!"
He turned at the urgency in Rick's voice.
"I think...she 's a Walker."
"How? She didn't get bit or scratched by one; hell wasn't one anywhere near us. Danni shot her."
"Listen, Jenner told me something, back at the CDC."
"That crazy motherfucker said a lot of shit."
"He told me we are all infected."
"What do you mean? Infected?"
"Whatever this is, it's in all of us, this disease that causes people to become those things. it's already in us. That means if we die-"
"We turn, bite or no bite." Daryl finished for Rick.
"I know I should have told everyone when I first found out, but i didnt know how."
Daryl paced for a second.
"No, you shouldn't have." He became quiet, almost hoarse. "You did right keeping it to yourself. Those people can't handle knowing something like that. Not yet."
"What about you."
Daryl shrugged. "I don't plan on dying anytime soon so what's it to me?"
Rick felt relieved to have shared his burden.
"Let's keep it between us okay."
Daryl nodded.
"Not even Danni."
He felt a little uncomfortable but nodded again.
"So the bullet must have missed her brain." Daryl surmised. "Right?"
"Could it?" Rick asked.
"Yeah, if it was a low enough shot. She had a hard angle, had to hit Truly with me right under her. So, yeah."
Rick found it interesting that Daryl was more concerned about the bullet than what he'd told him about everyone carrying the condition.
... .. ... ... ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
Danni woke up in the predawn darkness to hear Carol and Sophia breathing contentedly asleep above her. Rick's and Daryl's low voices drifted back from the table in the middle of the RV.
"Herschel will want to talk to both of you." Rick warned. "News is out...about Truly."
"Figured."
"Daryl. I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you. I knew you were right about that woman. I feel responsible for what happened. If Danni's not okay... " He shook his head unable to continue. "Look, your say matters to me." He paused then added. "I won't do that to you again. You have my word."
Danni noticed Daryl's long silence. She knew how uncomfortable Rick's words made him. Rick must have realized as well because he changed the subject with his next breath.
"We'll start when its light. I'll make sure everyone knows the plan. So, you good with all of this?"
"I don't see you and I trading haymakers on the side of the road. Nobody'd win that fight."
Rick stood and headed for the door.
"Hey," Daryl called.
Rick turned.
"You were protecting the group. I get it. She'll be fine."
Daryl's quiet confidence surprised Rick, but he was grateful for another set of shoulders to help carry some responsibility for the group. He hadn't felt that with Shane. There had always been a sense of competition, being at odds that only increased Rick's stress. He'd never have told Shane about Jenner.
Danni emerged from the back bunk and sat across from Daryl in the seat Rick had vacated. She put her feet up on his lap.
"What's this plan?"
"You okay?"
She nodded, "Yeah, and so are they." She unconsciously put her hand on her stomach.
"Did Sophia say anything to you?"
" I figured you told her."
"I didn't. No one did. Daryl, she had a dream and said the next time she saw me she knew it was twins. Before I even told you."
"Somebody must have said something."
Danni shook her head. "That's what used to happen to me. I was almost her age when it started. The dreams, the feelings about people. I believe her."
"How?"
"You had a dream, right?"
"So what, it's catching?"
"Maybe?"
Danni trusted Sophia's words and her own gut feeling that she was fine. Once the pain stopped she'd had no blood spotting and Carol said that miscarriage is much less likely in the second trimester. They troublemakers were complaining, but fine.
She had wanted to ask Carol about that dream thing happening to Sophia before, while she was growing up. But Carol wasn't aware of that part of Danni's life so she'd put it off. Would she be accepting?
"This plan?" She changed the subject, not wanting to think about Carol having an adverse reaction to her abilities.
"Thanks to your shot, we got some company. Rick and I took care of them, but there's likely to be more. We're moving everyone closer to the house, inside for the time being, making the perimeter smaller. Tightening everything up."
"Is that enough?"
"Until we see how many are out there getting closer. You really all right?" He asked again. "About shooting Truly."
"Yes."
She meant it.
He didn't tell Danni that he had to kill Truly second time while she'd been with Carol. When he and Rick were discussing her fate, Truly and a few other geeks had emerged from the woods. Speak of the devil, indeed. He made sure his arrow lodged deep in her brain. It had been only fitting that he had to kill her too. Soon enough, she will be only a distant memory.
He wanted to tell Danni what Rick had disclosed, but he'd given his word.
Early the next morning, Danni and Daryl sat on the couch in the Greene's living room. Her anger at being doubted, and having her actions questioned, surged but mixed with apprehension. She slumped down and crossed her legs. "I feel like we're waiting to go to the principles office or something, I can't believe this."
Daryl seemed calmer than she did. "Let's just get it over with."
Their respective reactions surprised each other.
Danni anxiously fiddled with the stainless steel buckle on the side of her boot. She twisted a strand of hair around her index finger, she tapped her fingers on his knee.
"You want me to patch those?" She asked noticing his pants had holes in both knees.
"Don't bother, can't see you sewing too well. You'll probably make a mess of 'em."
"Probably." Her nerves distracted her so she didn't call him out.
Danni wouldn't normally be nervous about a situation like this, but more was at stake than ever before. It wasn't only about her future. She might have jeopardized her family's safety as well as the group's.
She knew that Herschel could relate to a woman like Truly far better than to one like herself. He understood Truly's background; she was from his world. Danni was sure with her tattoos and style of dress she alienated him somewhat. They'd had only minimal contact, the most being when Truly had shot her which didn't bode well in her mind. Odds are stacked against me.
Would he be angry enough to make them leave? The group or just Daryl and herself?
In the kitchen a few feet away, Maggie confronted her father.
"Daddy, don't do this. You know Truly was different. She wasn't the same little girl who used to come over here and trade meat for eggs."
Herschel looked at Maggie, sadness in his eyes.
"She wasn't the little kid that listened to you read the Bible to us all on the porch and drink momma's lemonade on Sunday afternoons. She changed; maybe it was this Walker thing or her momma dying leaving her with that crazy daddy of hers, but you know she wasn't right anymore. I saw it that first day."
Herschel didn't want to believe it. It was one more example that the life he knew was slowly eroding; he was afraid for his daughters, afraid of what they were losing.
"I won't let you send them away. Neither will Glenn. This is your pride talking. Now, you always told me that's not how to decide things, with pride. Truly could have come after any one of us next. Me, Daddy, it could have been me. Or Beth."
He knew his daughter was right. He didn't answer, so as Herschel walked into the parlor, Maggie held her breath.
"Rick tells me you've been a great help to him, getting everyone organized to move into the house." Herschel looked down at Daryl as he spoke, noticing the fresh gash in his cheek and scabbed knife slash at his throat. "You had a little trouble last night?" He moved his eyes to Danni.
Daryl stood ready to defend her actions against Truly.
"Carol mentioned you had quite a bit of pain, but no vomiting or bleeding. I'm going to say the baby is fine, but I'll take a look at you anyway. To be sure. How far along are you now?"
"Three and a half months."
"You're not showing much yet, it's still early."
Maggie listened from the kitchen, loving her father more than ever if that was possible. He was the best man she'd ever known.
"How are you eating?"
"Fine." Danni said hesitantly still confused about Herschel's motives. He hadn't once mentioned Truly.
"Staying warm enough?"
She nodded and glanced quickly at Daryl, who seemed as wary as she did.
"Come with me, I want to check out that bandage on your arm too. It's not holding up as well as I'd like."
He held out his hand to Danni and helped her up from the couch. "Are you just going to stand there and let Rick do all the work?" He asked Daryl.
He shook his head and watched Herschel walk Danni into the hallway.
Before Daryl turned to leave, Maggie became visible in the doorway. She caught his eye and winked. He nodded at her, she took it as thanks.
... ... ... ... .. ... ... ... .
Danni sat in the wing chair in the back bedroom which had become a sort of infirmary. She extended her arm for Herschel, who had removed the bandage and cleaned her healing bullet wound. At that moment, Danni found his ever-present suspenders comforting. His voice, too, was slow and thoughtful. He chose each word with great care, reinforcing the wisdom in it.
"I know you were close to Truly. I'm sorry for what happened, but she gave me no choice." Danni had to say something; she felt Herschel was avoiding the subject and it hung heavily over them.
He was applying fresh gauze as he spoke. "She wasn't a Mockingbird. You are our mockingbird." When Danni looked slightly puzzled, he asked, "Do you know the book by Miss Harper Lee?"
She nodded. "Of course. I used to pretend that my real dad was Atticus Finch." She sounded far away and laughed a little at the memory. "But, me?"
"Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's gardens, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird." He recited Miss Maudie's title line from the book. "Maggie tells me you're a singer. A good one." He paused thoughtfully. "Now young lady, I've never seen you do anything but good for people around here. You are beloved by your group.
Danni was deeply moved and a little overcome by such benevolent, flattering words. No one had ever paid her that kind of compliment before.
"Thank you." She managed softly. She didn't realize Herschel had ever paid any attention to her. Still, she wondered how he'd feel if he knew everything about her; they had very different belief systems. She often saw him reading his Bible. She respected his devoutness even as it was different from her own. It was his faith that she felt was important. Would he be so generous with her if it came to that?
"Sometimes an old man like me has a hard time with change. I've been set in my ways for quite some time. I'm sorry I doubted you. Doubted Rick."
"No need to be sorry, and don't worry about Rick. He knows you believe in him. I do too." She looked up. 'We're paying the highest tribute we can pay a man. We trust him to do right. It's that simple'."
Herschel smiled at her as she recited another quote from the book.
"You'll have to sing for me some time."
"Anytime."
Beloved? Her gut churned a little at the word, twisting fear with a desire to believe.
... ... ... .. .. .. .. . . . .
As Danni trekked back to her camp to help Daryl pack, she noticed Rick talking with Carl as they dismantled their tent. He was affectionate with his son, patting his shoulder, resting his hand on Carl's head. Carl had taken to wearing his dad's sheriff's hat. It was cute, sure, but she knew it said more about Carl's love and respect for his father being reciprocated than anything else. Watching them, she felt melancholy knowing Daryl had never experienced a moment like the one she watched now, between Rick and Carl. Hell, neither had she. She realized Rick was a lot more like Atticus Finch than her dad had ever been. He took on the necessary job that other people are unwilling and afraid to do: lead in a time of crisis and uncertainty.
'There are some men in this world who were born to do our unpleasant jobs for us.' That man was Rick Grimes. He had integrity and did what he thought was right. He went back for Merle. She'd never forget that day. Never forget the sacrifice Rick made to appease his conscience all for someone like Merle Dixon. He didn't judge, but rather, believed in humanity.
'Before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.'
Danni felt no ill will toward him for hesitating with Truly. None at all. He was leading this group blind, under unbearable pressure and strain. She saw Rick depend on Daryl more every day. She knew it was good for both men.
Rick looked up and noticed her staring at him. She smiled a little. He waved, knowing they were okay.
Daryl began breaking camp while Danni was still with Herschel. He wished he had his old gray pickup, the one he'd left in Atlanta. But what's done is done, so he put as much as he could into the saddle bags and their backpacks. The truck had been Merle's, then his. The first thing he ever really owned. The air had that chilly autumn snap and the sky's weaker sunlight reminded him of school. He hated school. His junior high was beyond rural only about a few humdred students. It served the need of several towns in the county, having a significant socio- economic range. Daryl never tried to make friends because he knew he couldn't compete. The Dixons were dirt poor so he didn't have the latest sneakers or video games. He didn't know the hit, cool songs, he hadn't seen the latest movies or own a single article of trendy clothing. After while he didn't care, gave up a little. He'd begun to feel life was hopeless, but just before summer vacation another twelve-year-old tried to commit suicide by hanging himself. Daryl knew who he was, had four classes with him. He survived, but the image haunted Daryl all summer. He realized as hopeless as he felt at times, he had a will to live. He'd never give up. Daryl would fight anything and anyone. So what if he didn't fit in at school; after a while he didn't care. He'd show up in his second-hand clothes and collect his free lunch, get his c's, but none of that mattered. He just kept fighting like he always had to.
The one good thing in his life was the woods. He fit in there. He spent all his time practicing and honing the skills Merle had taught him. Hunting became his life. It occurred to him it was something not everyone could do as well as him.
Daryl remembered how surprised he always was when Merle showed up. Like that time, he saw his brother's motorcycle parked next to the trailer as he walked up the dirt path on his way home from school. He must have been twelve? How did Merle know that the old man was gone, off on a bender? Had he been watching them?
Merle was inside drinking beer. "Aint you gonna welcome me home?"
Daryl kept his expression neutral even though he was glad to see him. "When did you get out?"
"Got sprung last week."
"Couldn't write?"
Merle ignored him.
This happened periodically. Merle would disappear for chunks of time usually incarcerated on minor drug charges or for dealing then just show up without notice.
"You been fighting in school again? Best be winning." Merle saw Daryl's black eye.
"Yeah, 'course." He said defensively. " Shoulda' seen the other guy."
Merle grunted in approval.
Daryl wouldn't admit their father was beating on him every day. When Merle was back, his father left Daryl alone. He knew Merle was more than a match for him now so he had a break when his brother was around.
"Where's the old bastard at anyway?"
Daryl shrugged. "Been gone a couple of days now."
"Good cause I'm back, little brother."
He always said that. But he always left again.
"Here." He tossed Daryl a can of PBR. "How's my truck?"
It was one of the better times with Merle. When he'd teach him practical skills like how to take care of his gun and change the engine in a car. He handed Daryl his girlie magazines at night warning, "Don't make them pages all stuck together, I need those back when you're done."
So on that visit, junior high age Daryl got his first taste of beer and pornography courtesy of Merle. He also gave him his first experience behind the wheel.
Merle was driving his old pickup, Daryl was in the passenger seat listening to AC DC. Merle tossed out the empty beer can he'd been holding between his legs and looked at Daryl with bleary eyes asking "Wanna drive?"
"Hell yeah."
He pulled over and the brothers exchanged places. Daryl sped along the back roads, getting the hang of it, Merle repeatedly telling him to go faster.
Out in the middle of nowhere there wasn't much to crash into.
Daryl shook his head, trying to push Merle from his mind. Thinking back, Daryl had mixed feelings about his brother. Love, disgust, affection, resentment and sometimes hatred. The best he could say was that the good times softened the blow of the bad ones.
He'd say "I'm home little brother. I got your back." But he'd always leave again. The desolation of being left alone washed over him. He felt like he was a kid, helpless and lonesome. He tried his best to push the feelings down, but he just got angry.
When Danni drew near, she saw Daryl leaning against a tree, head down, shoulders hunched. He was shaking. She walked up behind him and placed her hand gently on his back. He startled, then slowly turned, still shaking a little. "Goddamn, Merle. Why'd he bother ever coming back at all. Just messed everything up worse."
His words surprised her; he never gave any real detail or reason behind what few feelings he'd shown before. As she held him, he lowered his head to her shoulder pressing his face into her neck. She stroked his back calming him, settling him. She understood.
"Forget it, you're okay now. I'll never leave you."
He nodded against her warm, smooth neck. It struck him as powerfully as the first time; she always knew what he needed.
... ... .. .. .. . .. . .. .. . .. .. .. .
"Is it true? She's dead?" Andrea approached Daryl as he and Glenn unloaded more from the bed of the Greene's old blue pickup to the porch.
Glenn answered. "Yeah, Danni shot her. Self-defense. That woman was certified crazy."
Andrea nodded. "At least Danni killed someone who actually deserved it for a change."
Glenn waited for Daryl's explosion, but it never came. Instead, he glared at Andrea to such a degree she actually felt uncomfortable enough to leave without another insult toward Danni.
"You let that go?" Glenn asked, surprised.
"She ain't worth the powder to blow her to hell."
Daryl had a feeling Danni wasn't finished having issues with Andrea.
... ... .. ... . .. .. .. . .. .. .
Danni's backpack was heavy and hit the floor with a thump when she dropped it next to the dresser. Herschel had given Danni and Daryl the back bedroom. She'd argued, saying the floor or a couch was fine, but he'd insisted.
Packing earlier, she had an odd feeling that she should put more in the saddlebag of the bike and her backpack than her duffel bag. She shrugged and went with her instincts as usual. Plus it would drive Daryl crazy if she put a bunch of her clothes in with his 'important' stuff. She made sure her journals, tarot cards, and books were in her pack. Despite being in the comfortable, warm room, she continued to feel uneasy; something told her not to unpack just yet. She left the clothing, extra guns, his hunting knives and everything else in the saddle bags and their packs. Tomorrow would be soon enough.
When dusk fell, everyone sat around the Greene's dining room table and enjoyed the large dinner Carol and Lori had prepared. The scene resembled the one at the CDC when they'd also shared a meal together. Everyone seemed relaxed, a conversation was easy, the food was delicious and the house kept them warm against the chilly autumn night. As hard as she tried, Danni couldn't lose herself in the experience the way she wanted to.
... .. . .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
She continued pacing; she'd sit for a minute but was up again before he could touch her.
"Are you gonna settle down or what?" Daryl asked. "You didn't eat nothing at supper."
She finally lay across his lap as he sat leaning against the oak headboard.
"Something's not right. I don't know what. I'm nervous and worried and I don't know why."
Was it Sophia's possible ability to have premonitions or Danni's fear that Carol might be afraid and reject her if she knew her heritage? Maybe it was the discomfort of Herschel's acceptance of her? These people don't really know me and if they did, they'd feel very differently. The old tape was playing in her head. She was starting to feel trapped, a little claustrophobic. Time to run away. But I can't do that anymore.
He put his hand under her shirt. Her body began to respond, her back arched under his warm, deliberate touch, but she suddenly bolted up. "Sorry." She sighed. "I have this bad feeling I can't shake."
T knocked at the door, "Hey Daryl, you're up man."
"Try to shake it by the time I'm done with watch, huh?" He put his hand back under her shirt then leaned down and kissed her neck. He headed to the door "Try."
Daryl straddled the porch rail, shotgun ready at his side, looking at the moon, wondering about her feeling. He noticed she hadn't rushed to unpack anything.
Rick joined him on the porch, screen door creaking behind him.
Daryl thought he knew what she might be worried about. He was getting to know her mind.
"Reckon you ought to have a plan if something happens here." Daryl mentioned casually to Rick.
Rick was curious and leaned on the rail next to him. "Happens?"
"If we get run off, should be something set up so everybody knows what to do. Where to go." Daryl's voice was lower than usual. He looked up waiting for Rick's reaction, wondering if he'd be taken seriously.
Rick didn't want to believe that could happen, but Daryl's no bullshit attitude helped him to face facts. He needed that reality check.
"You're right. We can't be too careful. What do you suggest?"
Daryl was surprised that Rick wanted his advice. "If it was up to me, I'd say meet at the spot back on the highway where Sophia went missing at the wrecked semi. Everybody knows it, it's far enough away that we'd have a chance to plan the next move."
"No guarantee it would be safe there."
"No saying it wouldn't be."
"O.K. It's a plan. I'll get the word out."
Daryl nodded, feeling validated.
"Daryl, that thing I told you last night. Thanks for listening, hearing me. You don't know how good it feels not to be alone with it anymore.'
"Aint no reason you should do all the heavy lifting."
... ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. . .. .. .. .
Daryl sat behind her on the bed and dropped his head so his mouth was on the back of her neck. The light was low, glowing warmly from the bedside oil lamp. His watch shift was over and Danni agreed to let him try to 'shake" the bad feeling from her.
A shiver ran through her as his lips made a warm, damp trail from one shoulder to the other. His fingers traced the top of her tank top to enjoy the sensation of her skin, scars and all. By the time he stopped kissing and caressing her, Danni was breathing hard. Her body ached for him. Needed him. Wanted him. It was an intense sensation like hunger or thirst. It took all her willpower not to turn; she waited to see what he would do to her next.
A sigh escaped her, and she felt her tension slowly melt as his hands reached up to cup her cheeks. Even If he only touched her face for the rest of her life, she could die happy. As his warm hands caressed her, his lips resumed tasting of her shoulders.
"You knew I could do it, huh? Truly."
"Yeah, but it's history now. Done."
"But I..."
"For once, stop talking and let me think about how much I love you, how beautiful you are." He groaned.
She turned around to face him. "You really mean that don't you ... the beautiful part?"
He sighed, tongue enough for ten rows of teeth.
"You hair ... your face ... your body. I could spend my whole life lookin' in your eyes. You got no idea how many times I had to do something else to make myself stop thinking about you, after that thing with Ed when I first...saw you."
"I used to worry you thought I was pathetic, just the damsel stranded in the tower shit."
"Never thought of you like no damsel in distress."
"I know you did. You said you were tired of saving my ass every damn day. Remember?"
"For half a minute." He had said it. He remembered everything.
Since he knew she wasn't going to stop talking, he asked, "When did you know?
Danni was surprised at how talkative he was. How open. Maybe it was the confidence Rick was showing him? It made him feel more sure of himself.
"That night you brought me the pain medicine after my concussion. We were sitting in the van and you looked at me so hard you almost scared me. I knew I wanted you then. I tried to keep you there, didn't want you to go." She shook her head and pushed her hair back behind her ears. "I never knew what you wanted. Sometimes I thought... but then you'd ...push and pull." She smiled. "But, I got a little preview of how good you'd be." She covered her eyes.
"What?"
"A dream I had that night about you." She actually blushed.
"Yeah?" He smiled at the thought.
"I avoided you the next day. Just couldn't look at you."
She worried him that morning; he'd thought she was done with him. It was the day she got into it with Andrea, when Amy died.
"Danni I remember every minute I been with you ... every word ... every look ... every touch. I opened up a whole, big unused part of my mind so I'll never forget anything about you," He said with the earnestness of a little boy.
She started feeling her eyes tear. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For reminding me how good it feels to be alive ... be a woman .. your woman. Daryl I was still pretty lost when I met you. Better than I'd been but still sad and alone; part of me worried that maybe I was too damaged to ever repair. But the way you see me makes me believe in myself; maybe because of all the shit you're fighting too. I don't know ... I feel like my heart's building a stronger wall around the pain so it can't hurt me anymore. You changed so much for me. I'm babbling I guess."
"What else is new."
"Today, when you said that stuff about Merle... I listened. I get it. you can tell me anything. You know that right?"
He looked down; she knew didn't want to talk about himself. She wanted him to see what she saw in him. She hated pain in his eyes.
He felt his mouth grow dry and his heart hammer in his chest. His voice cracked as he confided, "I've been waiting for you my whole life, Danni."
He felt consumed by the still unfamiliar need for another person. She saw the longing in his eyes and felt emboldened by it.
"I love you." She whispered, staring at him, sensing his tension drain away. He believed in Danni's Dreams and felt the realization of his own destiny reflected in her eyes.
He was about to lay her down beneath him, when they heard the shots. They hastily made their way to the front porch surprised that they seemed to be the last to know the nightmare was coming true. Herds were approaching the burning barn and would soon head to the house.
"Where the hell, how?" The sheer numbers amazed Daryl.
"What do we do? Get in the house and barricade it?" Glenn asked panicking.
Sophia was whimpering. Danni bent down and held her tightly, whispering that she'd be fine.
"Group that size will rip the place down. We need to get out of here." Daryl stated.
Maggie had an armload of shotguns and distributed them as if they were party favors.
"You know we gotta leave right?" Daryl asked her.
"It's my farm, I'll die here." Herschel took a gun.
"Daddy, no, Daryl's right, our only chance is to leave. But we can destroy as many as we can while we go." Maggie said then looked at Danni.
"As many as we can." Danni answered. The Tower. She thought of Maggie's reading.
"Where's Rick?" Daryl asked.
"He went to the barn, that's where most of them are." Lori explained nervously.
"What's he..." Before Daryl could finish his question, Rick pulled up in the Cherokee. He got out and ran to Lori and Carl. He turned his head to Daryl. "Barn's on fire. it'll keep them occupied. "We need to move!"
"Stay with me." Daryl ordered Danni. Then to Rick "We'll run distraction. Take out as many of them sons of bitches as we can, while you get everybody out."
Rick nodded, grateful Daryl had come up with the plan to meet on the highway.
Sophia held tightly to Fionn.
"Watch him for me bug. I'll see you in a bit." Danni put aside her fear and smiled at the girl. "Don't worry."
Sophia nodded.
"Where's Carol?" Danni asked suddenly missing her.
"With T and Dale, they were looking for Andrea, heading for a truck, on the other side of the barn. They were gonna be right behind me. They're armed." Rick shouted as he and Lori, hustled Sophia, Carl, and a devastated Herschel into the Cherokee. Danni took out two Walkers getting too close as Rick peeled out. Glenn and Maggie drove up in her car with Beth, shouting that they were fine and ready to move. Danni ran to the bedroom to retrieve their backpacks. She was a little cold in leggings and a flannel shirt, but there was no time to hunt for her jacket. The shirt was one of those thermally insulated ones Maggie had given her. She turned to leave but found herself staring at the bed. The bed where you happened, she told her babies.
Danni got on the bike behind Daryl. He started the engine, glad for its noise, hoping to attract Walkers and draw them out as the others made their escape. He drove back and forth to the house and barn while Danni took aim and shot as many as she could with her handgun. She stood up on the foot pegs, one arm around his shoulders the other stretched out to shoot the stumbling corpses feeling like she was playing an arcade game in hell.
T Dog's truck finally emerged from around the burning barn and drove to the road so Daryl turned out onto the driveway.
He pulled up to the fence, stopped the engine and they just stared at the fiery wooden structure. The farm was gone. The memories of what she and Daryl had shared there were burning with the barn. Some hard to lose: their wedding and her conception, the spell for Sophia at the crossroad, but others not so much: like Truly and Shane. Danni felt unfamiliar pangs of regret. Moving on had always been simple and necessary, she'd done it often, but this time she was losing a sense of place. She'd felt at home on the farm and she wasn't used to that so she focused on Daryl; he was her home now and she wasn't losing him. She hugged his waist. He turned his head as if knowing what she was thinking. The majority of Walkers were still gathered around the barn, but a few had started migrating a toward the fence.
"We need to go." He said just as the cries came from their right, up the dirt drive.
Daryl started the bike and turned toward the screams seeing Carol, stumbling out of the field.
"Carol!" Danni shouted getting off the chopper.
"Hell you goin'?" Daryl grabbed her arm. She pulled away and put her arms around Carol.
"Come on." She gently pushed Carol to get on the motorcycle.
"Take Carol."
"What?" He asked but knew there was no real answer.
"Sophia is not losing her mother! Take Carol god dammit!"
Carol sat on the bike behind Daryl in shock, tears streaming. "Sophia?"
She's with Rick, they made it out, I saw them." Danni assured her.
"Danni I can't let you do this."
"You are too good a mom-Sophia can't lose you. Just go! Take this for me." Danni gave Carol her backpack.
To Daryl she shouted, "Bring her to the highway, I'll stay on the road, I'll head in that direction. Come back for me."
His face was pained. Danni put her hand on his cheek. This was killing him, but he knew she was right about Sophia. Neither of them would let a kid lose a good parent. He let her make this decision because he couldn't. He let her tell him what to do because something in Danni's eyes wouldn't let him refuse her.
"Come back for me! I'll stay on the road. Just come back!"
He took his buck knife and put it in her hand. "Your knife won't do shit for you out here!" They were yelling over the engine. She smiled sadly at his words. She held him one last time. "Just come back."
Daryl squinted refusing tears and said. "Hold on. Hold on and wait for me."
She stepped back and watched them speed off leaving her utterly alone. Well, not entirely. My little troublemakers are here. She held her tummy and promised, I'll keep us safe. She scanned the area. Walkers were beginning to migrate away from the barn. She started running down the driveway. When she reached the crossroad, she stopped and picked up a handful of the dirt, looked at the moon then sprinted to the road.
They were beginning to emerge from the woods. There were too many geeks to outrun. Danni snuck up behind the first one she could and plunged Daryl's knife into the back of its head. She pulled the fallen corpse on top of her and held her breath as the first small herd passed. She knew it wasn't safe to stay like this, a sitting duck for the next group that would inevitably move through.
Waiting for a light at the end of the tunnel? Well stride down there and light the damn thing yourself.
She rolled the dead Walker off of her. Using strength she didn't know she had, she pulled Daryl's knife through its guts and opened its abdominal cavity. She started slathering the blood and entrails over her clothing, her body, her hair. She bent over and vomited, the sickly sweet perfume of rotting eggs overpowering her. As she forced herself to continue with the disgusting survival tactic, she kept dry heaving. Her stomach was empty, but she was unable to control her nausea; the smell was too much. When she thought she had camouflaged herself enough with the putrid odor of the dead, she topped it off by throwing the corpse's jacket over her for extra protection. She walked, stopping every so often to dry heave. She felt like crying, but she kept going staying her course on the road listening for any sound of the chopper. She sang Songbird softly to babies.
"For you there'll be no crying, For you the sun will be shining' Cause I feel that when I'm with you It's alright, I know it's right And the songbirds keep singing Like they know the score And I love you, I love you, I love you Like never before To you, I would give the world ..."
She had no idea how much time had passed. She moved in slow motion. She was alone for parts of the journey; when she caught up with a herd she swallowed her terror and started a slow shuffling limp. If she didn't panic, if just she stayed calm she'd make it, she knew she would. Danni kept inching forward. She waited for him.
It was almost dawn when she collapsed on the side of the road, Walkers stumbling over her. She didn't know how far she'd come, but she was weak and dehydrated from vomiting. Her shaking legs buckled under her, adrenaline left and exhaustion took over. Maybe this had been a stupid mistake. She couldn't do it. Her legs continued to shake under her. What the fuck was I thinking? Sophia, Carol. She remembered she'd kept them safe and together. If she died here, it would be worth it. She closed her eyes to rest. Just for a minute. Dozens of feet continued to stumble and shuffle past her head, she felt them hit the ground under her ear.
"Tell me Danu's correspondences." Danni's question was met with distracted silence. "Hey, are you paying attention?"
The little girl's intense blue eyes stared out the kitchen window watching Daryl and her brother getting ready to go on a hunt.
She turned back to her mother, elbows on the table leaning her chin on her hands.
"Her colors are Blue, white silver, green. Elements are water and earth. Seasons: Imbolc and Lammas. Tarot: the Empress. Aspects: Mother, of the cycle of the maiden mother crone."
More silence.
"What else?"
"Animals: mares, snakes, fish. Her scent is amber."
"Trees?" Danni prompted
"Rowan tree, the Apple tree, the Hawthorne tree." The recitation was half-hearted at best, she was barely tolerating her lessons this morning.
"You want to go don't you?" Danni asked
Only then did her eyes flash with enthusiasm and fire like her father's. "It's not fair, he always gets to go with da and I'm stuck here learning all this stuff that I don't even care about."
Danni heard herself at ten saying the same thing to Brigid. She held back a smile. Her daughter had a mind of her own. Like her mother.
"Today you can go, but tomorrow we have to move on to the Tuatha De Danann." She pushed back the girl's bangs and tried to kiss her head, but she wriggled out from under her and ran for the back door. Danni followed.
Daryl looked at her. "Yeah?"
She knew he liked having both kids along.
"Yeah." She was slowly relinquishing the idea of her little girl being her female ally and companion.
"But she's a girl!" Her brother complained.
"Hey!" Danni and Daryl cautioned him a the same time their voices in unison.
He sighed in defeat while his sister smirked at him.
Danni sat on the back steps watching the three head out, past the fence locking the gate behind them. Their little girl had Daryl's hand; she was practically pulling him. Her brother shouldered his crossbow and was already on alert, eyes focused ahead turning at every noise, mimicking his father beside him.
"Be careful." She whispered.
When Danni opened her eyes, she immediately returned to the horror of her situation made worse by the bliss of her dream. There were Walkers scattered in every direction, moving past, tripping over her spent body. With her last ounce of willpower more than physical strength, she prayed to Danu and rose to her feet. "Oh great mother, listen to the woes of your daughter. I need your guidance. Shine your blessed light down on me and guide my path. Help me if I stumble and I will be strong. Help me let go of fear and move forward with your truth, guide and bless my spirit which I dedicate to you with all my heart. Thank you mother Danu, Blessed Be."
With each word, she dragged herself forward.
She thought she was dreaming again when she heard it. The rumbling was coming from up the road. It couldn't be real, she was hallucinating. The roar of the engine got louder, so she headed out onto the dirt, seeing the bike coming toward her. When she made out his face, she raised her arm so he'd know it was her before she collapsed again.
He came to a halt beside her crumpled form. Dismounting he held her up, realizing what she'd done to protect herself. She stunk and was a mess, but she was alive.
"You are one smart girl," he muttered, pulling her up. He felt respect and something else wash over him. Love yeah he loved her. He saw the Walkers converging on them.
"Hey," He slapped her face, "wake up I need you to hang on to me."
She opened her eyes, "You came back." She got on behind him and used, again, what she felt was her last ounces of strength to hold around his waist as he delivered her from death.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
"Get it off me, off me," Danni complained, suddenly overcome with the disgusting feel and smell clinging to her body. Now that she was safe it was intolerable. "Off...off..." she was breathing heavy, trembling and rubbing her arms.
Daryl held her face in his hands. "Look at me. You're okay." She continued to shake, but nodded, focusing on his eyes, staying present.
"Clothes, does she have any more?" Carol asked rushing over.
"The bike, in the saddlebag." Daryl told her.
Carol retrieved jeans, a t-shirt, and Danni's hoodie.
"I have her." Carol steered Danni away from Daryl. She walked her behind an abandoned water delivery truck and stripped her of the filthy, slimy, putrid wet clothes. She opened a plastic bubbler refill container so that water flowed out rinsing her, removing all traces of Walker innards and entrails from her hair and body. Danni shivered but was relieved to be clean again. Daryl joined them behind the truck; he brought one of his shirts to dry her off before she dressed. He also had her leather jacket.
When she emerged, clean and dry except for her hair, still a little shell-shocked, the sight of everyone together relieved her.
"I'm never leaving you again. Don't care what's going on. Hear me?" He hissed in her ear. She knew he wasn't really angry, just scared. He pulled her hood over her wet hair.
She turned toward him and nodded. "Never." They held each other tightly. He dropped his face to hers and kissed her desperately, hungrily covering her mouth with his own, not letting her breathe. She grasped the back of his head, pulling as hard as he pushed. He didn't care that everyone was watching.
Ironically, Danni now felt trapped by the group dynamics. She couldn't get the thought out of her head: These people don't really know me and if they did, they'd feel very differently. Time to run away.