Danni remembered crawling on her hands and knees on a filthy concrete dressing room floor in Tijuana, Mexico after a gig during which she'd had just completed the most embarrassing blind-drunk set of her career. She worried that her band would be kicked off the one-month, high-profile tour with a national act because she was behaving so unprofessionally. Drunken Angel's popularity was finally rising, thanks to a well-received first album. With more people in the crowd, she felt more responsibility to try to put on a decent show and not be shit faced. Try, being the operative word. Broken glass embedded itself in her palms and kneecaps as she dragged herself to the toilet, which sat bare and open in the dressing room. After she'd heaved a day's worth of tequila shots out of her system, she attempted to steady herself on her feet by leaning against a cinder-block wall. Her forehead was sweaty, and there was a fresh tear around the armhole of her vintage Blondie t-shirt. Her black tights were shredded, black eyeliner smudged giving her raccoon eyes. The sound man and drum tech patted her on the back and said, "You girl, are our hero."

That's when she'd learned it didn't pay to be well behaved, too demure and careful in the eyes of the veteran road crew. Now that she'd attempted to perform blackout drunk, followed by a public puking session, she was a welcomed member of the club - she was a bona fide rocker. The organizers of the tour, however, still fired her band.

That is when Hayes lost it on her.

"You constantly sabotage everything. Anytime something good happens you do something to ruin it. If that's what you want Danni fine, but don't take us down with you. We are not losing shows 'cause of you, or tours or recording deals. If you can't handle this, you're out." He looked upset but ended with, "We'll find someone else."

Hayes tried to wake her up and show her what she was losing. She thought she was paying her dues. He told her she was ruining her life. "It's like you think you don't deserve anything good happening to you. I don't get it."

"Fuck you! If I can't handle this?" Double fuck you." He was her best friend and she knew the most hurtful thing to say. "You're only here because of me. I'm the only one anybody cares about, don't you read? You wouldn't have any of this without me."

She looked up at his skinny, almost six-foot frame as he ran his palms through his messy dark hair in frustration. He was wearing his ancient, faded Metallica T-shirt and studded belt she gave him for his birthday last year. He was her best friend and she was crushing him.

Pick a fight with the person you care about the most and the greatest amount of damage you can and ruin everything good in your life. Self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage was her middle name.

"You are a real bitch, you know that?" Hayes knocked the bottle of beer from her hand, sending it crashing to the pavement. They were standing in an alley behind the club, half their equipment loaded into the van, the rest piled by the back door. He went on "This is a band. You said that remember? This is the first time you felt part of something." He added "You're not acting like yourself right now."

"You don't know me, you think you do, but you don't."

"We all have an equal part and it wouldn't work if one of us were missing. Danni, you said that."

"Yeah well you shouldn't listen to me all the time. You can be so naïve."

It was a long, uncomfortable, silent drive back to Austin. Was Hayes right? Did she feel she didn't deserve to be happy? The guys eventually accepted her apology, but Danni knew she had to prove herself to them again. She pulled it together and never destroyed another opportunity. She stopped drinking and started taking care of herself. She decided her past demons would never control her again.

Self sabotage-destroying every good thing in your life. Never say never.

Danni shook the memory from her mind and returned to slowly sipping the water Carol was holding to her mouth. She sat on the open tailgate of the Jeep Cherokee, recovering fully from her ordeal. It was past dawn now, the chilly sun reaching the center of the sky over the highway. She looked at the people in front of her, genuinely happy that they were safe and alive. T-Dog, Glenn and Maggie, Herschel and Beth, Andrea, Rick, Lori Carol and the kids. Everyone had made it. Except Dale.

T-Dog had lost sight of him, when the herd cut Carol off from them. He wasn't sure what had happened. Daryl offered to go back, but Rick refused. They couldn't afford to risk time or another life. The harshness of what Rick spelled out increased Danni's feeling of helplessness because she knew Rick was right and because she could be lost or dead now just as easily as Dale.

Earlier, after she'd cleaned up she still felt alone. All she could do after she forced herself to let go of Daryl was approach Sophia and Carl, the buffer, like when she'd first come across these people. Kids were easy. She hugged them and rubbed Fionn's cheek.

"Danni, you said I'd be okay, I am. You are too." Sophia said with a triumphant grin. "I knew you would be."

She smiled weakly. It wasn't that easy. She kissed the top of Sophia's head.

Danni's body was feeling less shaken, but her mind more rattled.

She was afraid of her precarious situation. Back at the burning farm, she felt regrets but now the situation finally came into full perspective. This group of people had nowhere to go. She was pregnant, she needed a safe haven. Her instinct from the past took over. She had to get out of here and find her own way. Her fear began to influence her for the first time in a long while. Fight or flight. The sense of losing her place in the world returned from last night. The solution was to leave with Daryl. They'd make it work, find security, maybe the place in her dreams.

Carol noticed Danni seemed quiet and distant. Anytime she'd tried to catch her eye and smile, she swore Danni had looked away, deliberately avoiding her gaze. Carol assumed she hadn't completely recovered from her shock and fatigue. She fought her way among those Walkers, along that road while pregnant all for Carol. She felt more than admiration for the girl.

"Danni, what you did for me, I don't know any words that can express my gratitude. I think about all you've done for me since I've known you. You found my daughter, you saved my life. I'd have nothing now if not for you." Carol said exactly what Danni did not need to hear at that moment.

I can't handle this.

Danni just nodded looking uncomfortable. She got up and returned to Daryl's side as he discussed plans with Rick. She leaned against him, needing to feel his energy, but he moved away from her focusing on the map Rick was marking up on the hood of the jeep. She wasn't ready for Daryl to start acting like this yet, but he was already back to business as usual. She didn't want to share him at that moment and didn't care how selfish it seemed.

A few straggling Walkers starting up the highway toward them.

Rick announced it was time to move. "It's not safe here."

"Stay off the main roads. Bigger the road more assholes like this one." Daryl said calmly, shooting the stumbling geek between the eyes.

Danni insisted on riding with Daryl even though she was so exhausted she could barely hang on to him. Carol offered her place in the Cherokee to catch up on some sleep, but when she'd refused so coldly and abruptly, Carol knew something was definitely wrong. Danni clung to Daryl almost exclusively, barely looking at or speaking to anyone else. It was unlike her. Still overcome, Carol surmised hoping that was all.

After driving for most of the day further northwest into the middle of the state, the group, back in caravan formation, stopped on the side of the road. They observed a small clearing in front of a crumbling, civil war era, above ground stone bunker.

Rick pulled over so Daryl stopped. "You out?" He asked dismounting.

"Running on fumes. We'll have to make a run for gas in the morning." Rick answered.

"And spend the night here?" Danni asked walking up beside Daryl. She pulled here leather jacket tighter around herself. She crossed her arms over her chest.

No one answered her.

"I'm cold." Carl complained

"I'm cold too." Sophia mimicked him.

"We'll build a fire." Lori rubbed her son's shoulders.

"We can't stay here." Danni repeated herself. Daryl acted like he hadn't heard her.

"Anybody looking for firewood stay alert, I only got so many arrows. How you doing on ammo?" He asked Rick

"Not enough." Rick answered. He surveyed the landscape around them. "We'll set up a perimeter. In the morning we'll find gas and some supplies and keep pushing on." Rick explained putting his jacket on the shoulders of a shivering Sophia.

"Glenn and I can go make a run now and scrounge some gas." Maggie offered.

"No, we stay together. God forbid something happens and someone's stranded without a car." Rick cautioned.

"Rick we're stranded now." Glenn added, worried.

"Glenn calm down and listen to Rick." Herschel said.

"I know it looks bad we've all been through hell and worse but at least we are together."

Rick glanced at Daryl realizing his plan to meet on the highway was the reason they were all here now. "We keep it that way. We'll find shelter somewhere; there's gotta be a place."

"Rick look around, there are Walkers everywhere; they're migrating or something." Danni was incredulous that he wanted to stay here. She flashed back to her fight to live last night among herds of Walkers on a road that looked very much like this one.

"There has to be another safe place." He repeated himself. "And not just where we hold up, but where we can fortify, hunker down, pull ourselves together. Build a life for each other. I know it's out there we just gotta find it. "

"Even if we do find a place and we think its safe we'll never know for sure or for how long. Look at what happened to the farm; we fooled ourselves." Danni said.

Everyone looked away.

Why isn't Daryl saying anything to back me up?

"Won't make that mistake again." Herschel summed up.

"We'll make camp tonight then get on the road at the break of day." Rick pushed forward with his plan.

"Are you okay with this?" Danni asked Daryl.

He shrugged and turned back to Rick. "Over there, that gives us some protection." He said pointing to the stone bunker. "Camp inside."

She had her answer.

Danni barely paid attention to Rick as he continued to speak. Words faded in and out of her awareness. She had her hand on Daryl's wrist and as he moved to leave she didn't let go. He gave her a puzzled look.

He shook her hand off casually.

"Be right back, we need firewood and I'll see if I can't get us anything to eat."

He was ramped up in a hyper aware state; the 'get it done' mode that Rick brought out. Get it done for everyone else. She needed him now and he was ignoring her.

"Let somebody else go. Just this once."

"You know I can't." He looked uncomfortable. "You're okay."

"I'm always okay." She sounded cold and the way she turned and walked away from him so abruptly was odd. She pulled on her hood and lowered her head as she moved away from him.

"Well, come with me, if you want." He called after her, but she didn't acknowledge him. He figured she was sleep deprived and in a bad mood. He'd noticed she was quiet and kind of hanging on him more than usual. He'd let it go since she'd been so shaken from the night before. But it was over; she needed to get back to normal and pull herself together. He had. Shit, he'd almost lost her. He'd been thrown for a loop too, but she was safe and he'd never let her do anything like that again. She was safe, the babies were fine. End of story. Damn girl thinks too much about everything.

Danni headed to the crumbling stone wall and sat against it, hugging her knees to her chest, hoping everyone would leave her alone. Daryl was acting like last night had been nothing, like it hadn't even happened. She hadn't felt this empty in a very long time. Her arm was sore, she was still burned out from last night and the feeling that she'd been living a lie all these months was hitting her hard. She looked at her ring, the horseshoe and dice. She wanted to take it off and throw it. She twisted it around her finger instead. It felt calming and comforting to keep turning it around and around.

Beloved. Herschel had said. Something about the word turned her world upside down and released old feelings of worthlessness, self-doubt. It had needled her since yesterday. Beloved, bullshit. He hadn't even seemed upset about what she'd done to Truly. He should have been furious and confronted her. And Carol, she cringed when she realized she'd told her such shameful, personal things. She felt vulnerable. Because of Carol, Daryl also knew. It was a double cringe. What must Carol think of her? She could crush Danni with all that information if she ever wanted to. And if they found out about her beliefs? Her witchcraft? They'd shun her. Herschel especially, would not understand. Carol might accuse her of doing something negative to Sophia to cause premonitions. Andrea would finally get her chance to see Danni kicked out. Danni wouldn't let it happen. She'd make the first move like she used to. She hated feeling helpless like she was sitting and waiting to be attacked. The rug had been pulled out from under her last night. She felt unanchored, nowhere to go or hide. Saving Carol's life is what probably pushed her over the edge.

It was finally time. She had to get away from these people because she was getting too close to them. She couldn't handle that.

Ghost has got me running.

... .. .. .. .. .. .. . . .. . . .. .. .. .. .. .

The leaves were soft beneath them as they sat within the parameters of the crumbling stone bunker. T Dog was on watch positioned on the far wall. The moon was waxing and only a few tiny stars glittered in the blackness overhead. The group sat around the large fire desperate for its warmth and light. Rick had done an adequate job of calming everyone down and motivating them for the morning. As much as he could.

"We don't need this," Danni whispered in Daryl's ear as he sat hunched toward the fire, tossing random branches into the spitting flames.

He turned toward her. "What?"

"It's over. It's time to go."

"The hell you talking about?"

They were speaking low so that no one heard their words, but Carol noticed tension on Daryl's face.

"The farm was a good thing but it's gone."

He was confused. She wasn't making any sense, not sounding like herself at all.

"And Rick. You don't need to listen to him all the time."

"Rick's done all right by me."

"You call this all right?"

He started to get angry. "What do you want?"

"To go, let's just go."

He shook his head. "Don't make sense."

They were still whispering until she shouted "Fuck you!" and pushed him away from her. She stood quickly and stalked to an opening in the rock wall.

Why was he acting like this? Danni felt frustrated. He was putting the rest of the group before her. Talking to Rick all the time now instead of with her like he usually did. How could he betray her this way?

Danni's outburst startled everyone. Daryl looked uncomfortable as he stood and followed her.

"What is going on with you?"

She didn't answer.

He felt like they had traded places especially when he said, "Let's talk."

"I want to leave. With you. Right now."

"Not gonna happen."

"Then there's nothing to talk about." She turned and he grabbed her shoulder.

"Get away from me." She hissed, noticing all eyes on them. "I thought I could depend on you."

He let her go feeling stung. Rick's stare embarrassed him. He felt everyone watching, wondering what he'd do next.

Daryl pulled her back behind the wall out of sight of the others and, he hoped, a little further out of earshot.

"You are a real brat right now."

She wouldn't look at him.

"Scaring Sophia."

"She needs to grow up."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"It's over." She answered.

"What is?"

"I can't do this anymore."

He felt like he'd left Danni back at the farm and had found an entirely different person on the road last night.

"You have to." Daryl said bluntly.

"Why? Because I'm stuck? I'm stuck with-"

"If you're gonna say me, I'd watch it. A little late for that now."

He felt everything slipping away and he didn't know why. Just yesterday he started to open up, actually said he loved her, told her she was beautiful, what he remembered of first meeting her; things he'd been afraid to share. Now she was throwing everything back in his face.

"It woulda' been nice if you'd pulled this crap a couple of months ago. Real nice." He rasped in frustration.

"So you wouldn't have wasted so much time?"

"You said that."

"You think you know me but you don't. I' m not who you think I am."

"You know how fucked up this is right? We're married, you're pregnant with my kids, the world full of dead people walking around ...you don't have anywhere to go. It's not like we can head to Reno, get a quickie divorce and you end up with the house, the car and the damn dog."

"Why won't you leave with me? Why? You never wanted to be with these people in the first place. You want to know what's wrong with me, well what's wrong with you? You're not who I thought you were either."

"We can't leave. Rick needs me."

"I need you. Let's go. Please."

"You had a bad night, it's over. You're okay now, you need to let it go, thinking too much makes you weak."

"A bad night?" She laughed in disbelief. "I almost died."

"But you didn't. That's all you need in your head now."

"Leave with me." She said again.

He shook his head. "You don't mean any of this. This aint you. What about all that stuff you told me about running away and hiding, how it don't work no more like it did when we were kids. We're not them kids anymore. About how we deserve more than that, our children deserve more. You said that."

"You shouldn't listen to me all the time. You are so naïve Daryl."

Daryl felt his frustration and fear turning to anger. He hated how she was talking to him; not just what she was saying but how she was saying it like she thought he was stupid or something. He had to get away from her, for the first time he actually wanted to hit her, hurt her. He was clenching his fists at his sides.

She dealt the final blow when she said, "If Merle walked up right now and asked you to leave with him, you'd be out of here in a second. You'd never look back."

"I'm not listening to any more of this bullshit." He turned and muttered, "Stupid girl," as he stalked away.

When Daryl sat back down at the fire, he couldn't look at anyone. Carol leaned over and said, "She's been through a lot. She's in shock, she'll be fine. Give her some time."

Daryl nodded but didn't feel it would be that easy. He had no idea what to do to fix this. He was still clenching his fists. She wasn't acting right. She' d told him not to smother her or be her watchdog, why was she so upset with him for listening to her? She's the one who pushed him to look to Rick; now he was trying to help Rick keep everybody alive. Didn't she see that? He needed her to support him, the way she was supposed to, not fall apart. He was getting more pissed off. Damn girl doesn't know what she wants.

Carol approached Danni sitting, her back against the crumbling wall distancing herself from everyone.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You're not acting like yourself."

"Stop saying that, everybody needs to just stop. You don't know who I am." All Danni could think of was that Carol knew her shameful past.

All human beings have three lives: public, private, and secret. Danni recalled the quote by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

She was so angry that Daryl wouldn't go with her that she lashed out at him, the one person she loved the most; he didn't deserve it. Self-sabotage. This was how it worked: pick a fight with the person you know you can hurt the most. Do the greatest amount of damage you can to wreck everything good in your life. Welcome home. She knew she was childish, but she felt so vulnerable with no place to go. Her secrets were known and returning to haunt her. She needed Daryl most right now, but he wasn't acting the way he was supposed to. Danni stared at him, hunched over the jumping, crackling flames, aching for him and wanting to take every word back. She twisted her ring around her finger to comfort herself. Carol left her, worried.

... ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .

He roughly pushed her shirt up. She was hardly awake yet.

Hey, give me a sec." Danni said sleepily,

He flipped her over on her stomach and forcibly pulled her up by her waist, so she was on her hands and knees before him on the mattress. He stared at the gray cinderblock wall noticing the bars from the window casting long shadows.

"Daryl, no." She realized what he was doing. He had promised her. "C'mon, let me up, we can do anything you want."

"I want this." He growled the word.

"You know I can't."

Jealousy, thoughts of Merle's brutality, visions from his past blinded him and he forced her to stay in the submissive position. He yanked her leggings down. When he went to unbuckle his belt and pulled his zipper down she almost cried.

"Please, no." She begged.

She had hurt him, now he wanted to hurt her. But he couldn't. Her cry made him stop. He moved back off of her. She turned and looked at him shaking. She wrapped her arms protectively around herself."Why?" Was all she asked. "Why?" She was trembling and crying, broken before him.

"Guess I'm not who you thought I was. I told you I'm no good at this. You should have listened."

I am Merle.

How could he explain he needed to own her, control her. He was afraid and now ashamed he'd exploited her fear; the one thing she'd trusted him not to do. That position signified the trauma of her past and part of him had wanted to use it against her because he knew he could. He guessed he had learned from his brother after all. Daryl didn't know what else to say and couldn't look at her anymore being too overcome with guilt. As he walked to a cell on the other side of the second floor, he saw Merle nod to him from his place leaning on the railing. He'd seen the whole thing.

Daryl woke up sweating, mouth dry, heart pounding in his chest. He was flooded with self-disgust, shame, and guilt. He was angry with Danni but a dream like that? And Merle there approving of the whole thing. It was what he fought against all his life. That wasn't him. Where the hell did it come from? He felt sick. Not much, if anything, made Daryl nauseous but now he felt like he could puke. He got up and made it behind the wall just in time to heave his guts up. His hand shook as he wiped his mouth with his rag.

Daryl stayed awake after that. He sat up for what felt like hours, watching her curled up asleep a foot away on the ground. He couldn't figure out what was going on with her. She was scaring him and now he scared himself. He was furious with her but also terrified of not knowing why she was doing this and not knowing what to do to fix it. Was she right? Would he leave if Merle told him to? Did he have the dream because of her insistence that his brother meant more to him than she did?

Danni was shaken from sleep as Daryl grabbed her arm and yanked her to her feet, putting his hand over her mouth to keep her from making noise and waking anyone. He wasn't giving her a chance to start arguing in front of everyone again. He pulled her, half walking and half stumbling beside him far enough into the woods so they'd wouldn't be seen. Glenn was on watch and heard the rustling leaves under their feet; he turned, but when he saw them, looked in the opposite direction hoping to God Daryl could get her back to normal.

They barely made it around the corner before she was all over him. He had only meant to talk, but her hands tore at him in a fevered frenzy. Her lips were on his neck, ears, mouth as adrenaline raced through her veins. She pulled off her hoodie despite the cold and she drew Daryl onto her, falling back against the nearest tree. She made him dizzy forcing his full weight on her.

"Hey, I just want to talk." He removed his mouth from hers.

She began unbuttoning his shirt, desperate to run her hands along the muscles beneath. She massaged his taut biceps. Her touch was getting him hard, but his dream was still haunting him. "This what you really want?" He needed her to tell him it was okay. He didn't think he could ever touch her again unless she did.

"I need you to fuck me more than anything right now." I almost died last night. She pushed his shirt and vest off and licked his chest moving up to his neck as he dropped his hands and caressed her thighs. He reached down and pulled her up, pressing her breasts firmly against his body. He kissed her deeply, urgently. She kissed him back hard, her tongue exploring his mouth eagerly.

"You okay with this?"

She nodded. "I said yes. Don't stop."

He was going to murder that dream right here and now. Destroy any remnant of it.

He moved his mouth over her neck down to her collarbone. He gently slid her shirt up. She threw her head back and sighed deeply as he rubbed her nipples with his thumbs, causing the coil deep in her abdomen to tighten. He ran his hands over her rounder belly aware of the change in her shape.

He pulled her legs around his waist then pressed her firmly against the tree. She arched her back and thrust her hips forward grinding, desperate to have him against the ache between her legs. He stared into her eyes and kissed her hard. She could feel his heat pressed against her body through their clothing.

He reached down and opened her jeans. She wasn't wearing panties after her change this morning. He dropped her legs and began rubbing her clit with his thumb as his fingers stroked the opening of her sex. He wanted this to feel as good as possible for her, he always did. He pictured her showing him what to do that first time; remembering the way she reacted to him, gave him confidence and reassurance. He wanted to please her, not hurt her. That's who he was.

She gasped, "No, no, can't..." Her body tightened at the intense wave of pleasure. He rubbed faster, sending her into oblivion. She let out a soft moan as her body tensed and she climaxed hard beneath his fingers. He felt her start slipping from his grasp and tightened his arm around her, as her legs give out. She shook and her breath hitched unevenly as the waves passed over her.

She went for his belt and zipper, the need to have him inside her overwhelming.

"Sure you want me to... it's okay?"

She was confused by the question. He wasn't teasing, he was earnest

"Need you to answer me." He drew back, his voice commanding.

"Yeah I want you to." She pulled her jeans and boots off. "Should I say please?"

He picked her back up and held her against tree moving his hardened member down and placing it over her opening, slowly, gently pushing inside. Her body responded, moving forward to trying to force it all in. He moved back and again rubbed it over her sensitive opening.

She couldn't take it anymore. Her body was desperate with need, desperate to feel him moving inside her. His eyes locked onto hers almost looking afraid before quickly thrusting into her. She took him all in, hungrily gripping him with her muscles. They both gasped at the sensation.

He quickened his pace, fucking her hard, her back pounding against the tree. She held on with all her might, her nails digging into the flesh on his back. Her hard nipples rubbed against his chest with every thrust and her body flushed with heat as he pulsed deep within her. She moved her hips forward to take him in even further.

"I'll never hurt you...never... scare you." He managed to get the words out.

She shivered as her body began to tense, her muscles clenching tightly around him buried deep.

"I know... you...won't... why-?" But before she could finish he lifted her legs up higher around his waist and thrust himself so far inside of her she couldn't help but cry out when hit her most sensitive spot. He clapped his hand over her mouth as she repeated his name loudly and her body shook with the force of her orgasm. They were too close to the others. His thrusting was reaching a fevered pitch, and she had to bite into his shoulders, neck - anything she could reach to keep from crying out again. The feeling sent him over the edge and he began pushing harder and faster, desperate. He couldn't hold back anymore and let himself erupt deep inside her. When he heard her say "God, I love you," he knew she wanted him to.

Did he think he could fix everything with this? Maybe. It sometimes did.

Danni wrapped her arms around him as her body calmed from the waves of pleasure that surged through her and he held her tightly as his body relaxed, both panting from the exertion. He pulled her head back gently with his hands and he bit her neck while she scraped her nails down his back.

"I didn't mean it, when I said you don't know me. You do; better than anyone. I'm sorry. I love you, you know, right?"

He nodded into her neck, still holding on to her.

"I didn't mean anything I said before. I'll never take shit out on you again."

"Don't say never. Just let me know when you're doing it." He sighed, knowing her better than that.

They both realized that although they'd fought, regretted words and felt anger toward each other, neither of them had once considered leaving the other.

She began to dress. He put his shirt back on and zipped his pants.

"Why did you ask like that when...? You never have to ask."

"Cause you need to know you can trust me."

"I do."

She was confused, but before she could press the issue, he pulled her arms to him and squeezed her wrists.

"I'll go." He said. "With you. In the morning, we'll leave ." He wasn't losing her.

"What about Rick?"

"He'll understand. You come first." He wanted to ask her if she thought he'd put Merle before her but couldn't get the words out.

"Thank you." She breathed into his ear. "Thank you." You are the only person I trust in the world."

He needed to hear her say the word trust. He'd never betray that trust.

They sat at the foot of the tree. She was between his legs, leaning back against his chest, his knees drawn up on either side of her. "We'll never see our tree again." She realized. "The one you carved..."

He wanted to say it was only a damn tree, but he knew it wasn't.

"Daryl, I want to go home. But we don't have one."

"I'll find you one. One with a tree."

... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. . ... .

Early the next morning, Daryl had informed Rick of his of plans to leave, but Rick didn't tell anyone else. He wanted his chance to confront Danni first, to try to convince her to stay. He knew she was the reason behind Daryl's sudden change of heart.

"Danni don't do this." Rick pleaded with her, his voice was hoarse with desperation.

"We have to."

"Why? What's changed?"

How could she explain.

"You said you trusted me, remember? You said you'd help; anything I need. You and Daryl would be here. What happened to that?"

Danni didn't know where she was going, she just started walking, wishing he'd stop talking.

He followed. "You owe me an explanation. If you're really leaving, you need to tell me why."

"I need a safe place for the baby. We can't take any more chances."

"Leaving us is a huge chance, an enormous risk. Don't you see that? We need you two as much as you need us."

She walked faster trying to get away from him. She didn't want to listen, she didn't want to change her mind. Rick had that way of getting under her skin. Suddenly she stopped short causing him to walk right into her. She seemed unaware of being jostled.

"Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and a camel... Oh my god..." She gasped.

Danni almost collapsed when she saw it. The vision was at once completely familiar and entirely foreign to her. The towers on each side of the sprawling concrete structure, chain link and barbed wire, enclosing the yards. It was miles in the distance, but she felt the place physically pulling her. She'd been here several times, her dreams had all taken place inside of that structure. This was the cold, concrete and cinderblock world where she'd been so many times before. She'd knew she'd give birth there.

"What?" Rick asked.

She pointed at the prison in the distance over the tree line. "I know that place." She turned toward him. "There. We're supposed to go there. Rick, we'll be safe."

When he didn't answer she said.

"All of us. The group will be safe there."

Fear and doubt started to melt from her soul when she saw the prison.

... ... .. .. .. .. .. .. ... . ... .. .. .. .. .

"I'm going to sound crazy right now."

"That supposed to surprise me?" Daryl asked.

She ignored him. "We're staying."

"You put me through all that and now..."

"Come here." She led him to the area she'd been with Rick and pointed to the prison.

"That's the place?"

She nodded. We've been there before.

"I gotta say something."

She looked up at him.

"You can't ask me to do that again, leave the group. I won't leave you, but I won't leave them either. Don't ask me how that would work, but..."

"I know. I won't." Danni reached up and traced red slash on his cheek from Truly's knife. "I'll never freak out on you like that again. This is what we are supposed to be doing."

"What happened to you? Yesterday?" He had to ask her.

She didn't answer, so he went on. "You are the strongest girl I ever met, but sometimes you act like you don't know it."

"I'm just a person. I get scared, okay? Sometimes I feel like you don't want to know that about me; you expect me to be tough and strong all the time."

"I don't. I... you told me not to suffocate you or be your watchdog."

"Not all the time. Sometimes I need my rottweiler."

"Sorry, if I wasn't there enough yesterday."

"No, I get it. Its okay, its how you think. What's done is done. It's how you have to think to be so brave and so capable. You can't dwell, you push your mind ahead to the next thing immediately. I needed to hear all the stuff you said yesterday. I do get weak when I focus on what could have happened. I'm alive. That's all that matters. I'm starting to understand that you are pretty much a genius."

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

They'd be leaving shortly, so Danni took what time she could and sat on the soft leaves by the dying fire, the sun reflecting off her hair giving it that blue sheen. Fionn rubbed his cheeks against her knee, she scratched his chin. She pulled out her Tarot cards not caring who saw. She breathed them in, shuffled and dipped. The Lovers. She nodded and opened the book, flipping to the page she needed.

Lovers represent perfection, harmony and mutual attraction. Their trust in one another gives them strength and confidence to overcome the obstacles in life. The bond that the two lovers created is incredibly strong and is often reflective of a marriage, soul mate connection or very intimate and close relationship.

The Lovers can also indicate a very strong sexual connection that goes beyond instant gratification and lust to suggest a very deep desire and passion that exists between two beings. The physical attraction is strong and so too is the desire to be intimate with one another.

On a more personal level, the Lovers card represents establishing a personal belief system and becoming clearer about your own values. This is a time when you are figuring out what you stand for. You are now ready to make up your own mind about what is and what is not important in life. This is also a time when you need to stay true to yourself and be as authentic and genuine as possible.

When the Lovers card appears in a reading, your decisions or choices are incredibly important and significant so it is essential that you choose the right path. Often, it is the most difficult way that will bring you the greatest benefit

If you find yourself at a moral crossroads where you must choose between taking the moral high ground or the low ground, then you need to consider all consequences before acting. The Lovers card highlights that your own value system is being challenged, and you must make a definite choice based on that system. The choice of the Lovers is very much right or wrong because one of those options will almost certainly take you down a negative path. Thus, it is wise to seek higher guidance before making your final decision. You must be completely honest with yourself in the situation. Do not take things strictly on face value but deeply examine your motives, your feelings, your options and your personal values.

Danni knew the right choices to make. She'd been making them all along. Now she needed to regain her strength to continue. The way to do that was to face her fear. Fuck the fear. These people needed her and she needed them. She vowed never to lose focus again. She had too much to lose. Fuck self-sabotage. She had her beliefs and her faith in her own abilities. Danni opened to a blank page in her journal and began writing:

I will take the bricks thrown at me and make a solid foundation for my children and build a beautiful home out of the junk others throw away. I 'll understand that people make mistakes and humans are best at being human. I'll believe that whether someone loves or hates me really has nothing to do with me. I have the pride that even if I'm a human coloring book my Goddess reads my heart loud and clear and that we have an understanding that rises above the bullshit others may attempt heap on my shoulders. I will have pride that I took my will and determination, the only two things I ever really had, to change some unhealthy habits that held me back from truly experiencing love on a real level. I turned those unhealthy habits into spiritual sacrifices and now I'll try to feel love everywhere, every moment of every day. Life is what I choose to make it. Every tear on every face tastes the same after all.

She felt it then, the tiniest bit of pressure from within her womb. The pushing sensation repeated itself three more times. Twice for each of them. "I love you too little troublemakers."

Danni hadn't noticed Carol until she sat beside her on the ground.

"Maybe you could do one for me some time." She referred to the cards.

"Sure. Anytime. My Nana taught me. "This is who I am."

They didn't need to say anything else about the Tarot. Carol accepted. Danni knew she'd accept it all.

"I'm sorry if I said anything wrong yesterday, I was anxious about you. What you went through was horrible and you did it for me." A tear escaped Carol's eye.

"You didn't say anything wrong." She said softly. "Thanks for taking care of me. And that other thing, saving your ass, please, it was a piece of cake. "

... ... ... ...

"Heading for this prison. What's your take?" Rick had pulled Daryl aside after Danni's announcement.

"We need to do it." Daryl was matter of fact. He knew Rick was waiting for more. He figured he'd just be honest.

"Look, Danni...knows things. Kinda' sees the future " He squinted up at Rick waiting for a reaction.

"You're serious?"

"Yeah."

Rick considered what he'd just heard. Coming from anyone other than Daryl he'd think it was the ravings of a lunatic.

"So this prison thing?" Rick asked again.

"She's had a bunch of dreams about it. We're settled there or something. "

Rick still seemed unsure.

"We gotta do this. She's never wrong about this shit, I'm telling you. Besides what could be safer than prison; it locks you in, but it also locks people out. "

Again, If Daryl believed in her, Rick would too. "Prison it is."

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..

They'd been on the road for the entire day before finally stopping for shelter as evening drew near. The men cleared the abandoned house than the rest of the group entered. It was a sad sight. This place had been beautiful at one time. An example of southern rural architecture, a former plantation. Tall windows, detailed crown moldings, finished dark hardwood floors and beautifully carved mantelpieces. Now the interior was trashed, looted, cluttered, dirty and dusty. A couple of large, empty, rusted ornate bird cages caught Danni's eye. She almost tripped over the fallen bodies of two walkers at the bottom of the stairs as she followed Daryl to check out the second floor.

She trailed him silently. He slowly opened the first door they saw and they found themselves face to face with a large owl perched on the back of a chair in front of the window. Daryl immediately stopped and took perfect aim.

"Daryl. No!" Danni pushed the crossbow away from its target." You can't kill an owl."

"We need to eat, you need to eat, "

"Its sacred, you can't." Her voice had an ominous tone, her eyes grew huge.

He reluctantly put the weapon down and stared at the bird shaking his head.

"It would bring bad luck on us. Curse level, I'm serious. But finding one is a good omen. This is important for us."

"I 'spose you're gonna tell me why?"

"In the Celtic tradition, the owl is known as cailleach-oidhche and she represents wisdom, stealth, initiation, change and detachment. She is clairvoyant and a seeker of deeper knowledge. She has great intuition and courage and she always follows her instincts. She is a bringer of hidden truth, omens, and secrets and she can help unmask those who wish to deceive you. Nan always said owls have magical powers because they see in the dark." She added, "So, let's go find you a possum or something."

"Possums aren't worth worshiping I take it."

Danni felt a sense of power at meeting the owl. She stared into its large eyes for a moment longer. It gave her something. She could feel it; she felt courage.

"Hey," she grabbed his hand and put it on her belly under her hoodie.

He smiled and shook his head. It was so incredible that he could feel them now. Whenever they kicked, she'd do this- grab his hand and show him.

"That one must have hurt." He commented. The were getting stronger all the time.

She laughed a little, then hugged him. "Thanks. For the owl." She whispered in his ear.

They joined the others downstairs and made do with sharing canned beans for dinner.

After eating, Danni wandered the rooms of the first floor catching the last of the light. Fionn trotted behind her. Blood red velvet curtains, torn and covered with dust hung on the windows of what must have been a small sitting room. She sat on a settee matching the curtains in color. The cat leaped on her lap as she opened the drawer of the small table beside and found a cigar box. Inside were tintypes those old photographs from the 19th century. They were faded, edges curled some almost torn. Black and white faces of a family in Victorian garb, heavy black dresses on the women, the men in soldier's uniforms. Confederate soldiers. The eyes in these photos burned. The looked so alive.

"Why are you crying?" Sophia walked into the room.

"I'm not, bug."

"Not you Danni, her." Sophia pointed behind the couch, but when Danni turned, no one was there. Strange.

"Who are you talking about?"

"The beautiful lady. She's crying, but its like she can't hear me, she won't answer me."

Danni felt shivers race up her spine and the back of her neck tingled. "Is she still here?"

"No, she left. I think she was trying to talk to you, but you didn't pay attention to her."

Danni didn't want to alarm Sophia, so she didn't tell her she hadn't seen the lady.

She closed the cigar box on her lap but couldn't return it to the drawer. Something made her take it with her.

Night fell and everyone found a place to lay down and attempt to get comfortable in the living room.

Sleeping on floors again. Before closing her eyes, Danni noticed Glenn and Maggie sneaking upstairs. She smiled. Fionn was purring beside her head. Tomorrow she'd ask Sophia more about what she'd seen. Was she channeling? Danni hadn't ever been able to do that. It was pretty rare. Maybe Sophia was just playing a game.

After a couple of hours, Daryl traded watch shifts with T-Dog. When he lay down next to Danni, she began talking to him, but he had no idea about what.

"For let me say that your memory is ever dear to me and if we never again meet on Earth I shall ever Cherish the fond remembrance of Thee but indulge the hope that we may again meet ere long in the next."

"What the hell are you goin' on about?" He whispered not wanting to wake anyone else.

"I cannot yet see much sign of the war closing but I always try to hope for the best. I suppose you were a thousand times glad to welcome the returns of your soldier brothers."

He shook her shoulder then and her eyes opened. "What? Why did you do that? Something going on?" She sat up ready.

"Nothing, but what were you talking about? "

"I wasn't, I was sleeping and I hate you for waking me up." She put her arm over her eyes.

"Well, you were going on about something, a poem or something."

She hadn't even been dreaming. She'd never had the habit of talking in her sleep before.

"Weird." She pressed against him relieved at not having to share him at that moment, knowing another hectic day would follow.

"Chickamauga, Stream of Death. Alas! Every victory, as well as every defeat, brings sorrow and distress to many hearts. Dear Mother: Don't grieve about me. If I get killed, I'll only be dead."

The words were in Danni's mind when she opened her eyes in the morning. She was staring at the ceiling trying to get her bearings when the phrase ran through her head. She had no idea what it meant.

They scavenged what they could from the house, blankets, and comforters mostly; Danni had begun gathering bedding and any kind of fabric she could find preparing for the babies. There was nothing of any real use of value left.

The prison was only about half a day's journey according to Rick's calculations. They'd be there today.

Walker State Prison. The irony was not lost on a single one of them.

He had a map spread out on the hood of Maggie's car. "We'll take this route. The prison's right in Walker County outside Chickamauga."

"What did you say?" Danni asked.

"Walker County? Chickamauga?" Rick repeated.

What is that? Chickamauga?" Danni asked.

"There was a Civil War battle there. Chickemauga is a Cherokee word means river of death." Daryl explained repeating the strange word in her head this morning.

"Could it be the stream of death?" She asked him.

"Spose, depends on who's translating."

... ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

Daryl and Rick left the others on the road to canvas the prison just yards away down the bluff. They stared at the sprawling buildings, completely fenced in. Once the Walkers were cleared from the yard, it could be theirs.

"Danni was right." Rick said. "This could work."

"Told you." Daryl said over his shoulder.

"What else does she know? I could get used to this."

Daryl shrugged, feeling some pride.

"Hey," Rick asked. "Do you remember what you did the first time you saw me?"

Daryl shook his head."Nah."

"You threw a bunch of dead squirrels at me."

"Sounds about right. Remember the first thing you ever said to me?"

"What was that?"

"I handcuffed your brother to a roof."

Time flies.